Newbies and experts

No it's not come through yet. I rang the GPs today who confirmed they had sent it the day we saw him (last Fri) and they told me who we've been referred to so advised I ring that consultants secretary end of next week if not heard to enquire.

How's the opks going wood? Picking anything up?? You're in the nice part of your cycle for valentines day, enjoy

Happy hols V, yes where are you? You like your hols don't you, lucky thing!! (Says me whose just booked our week away by the coast at Easter!!!)

Hope RL is calming down for the weekend Broody, enjoy your first valentines day as an engaged lady!!

Thanks girls for your lovely messages, you are wonderful and a real support. I'm doing ok, have my moments, but just gotta get on with these things so bring it on!! Just want my letter now!!!!

Choccy mouse chilling in the fridge, moussaka in the oven, nom nom, enjoy your eves, what you all up to??

Sounds lovely vicky, where are you?

The cakes were nice but if there's a chocolate shortage I prob wouldnt think about those!

Have you still not had your refer letter yet one?

Happy valentines day ladies!!

Hi Ladies, sorry have been away for so long. We're on baby moon and I have only just found wifi.

one I'm really sorry to hear about your DH, I really hope he's ok. But it does sound logical that 1% out of high sperm count is better than 1% of low. I am gob smacked by the normal is 4% statistic, that's just crazy.

In a way it's good that you have got a diagnosis and can now focus on the problem and how to fix it. My very good friend has been struggling for a diagnosis for 4 years and still no joy.

I'm going to have a read up on stuff about it, but really hoping that the treatment (which the NHS will hopefully throw your way) will be as simple as selecting the 1% of good swimmers and sending them in the right direction if you know what I mean.

wood let us know how that cake went, sounds divine. We're abroad and I have no easy source of obtaining chocolate, there is one dairy milk in the mini bar but it's quite expensive and so far I've managed to keep my hands off it!

Was it easy for him to cut back? I have started opks again today cd 10 for me! Where is your cycle broody?

Hello just checking in sorry for Radio silence RL has been busy! Dp is trying to be all round healthy including cutting right down on alcohol so we will see. One I'm so sorry about your news from Dic, thinking of you and hoping you and your dp are getting support and answers you need. Lots of love and positive thoughts x

Just posting a hello as I lost the thread and had to find it again!

Hope everyone is well and waiting on news of your referral letter one x

It took 3 months to get referred I had scan 1 month after first appointment and went back after 3 months of clomid. I've just been given another 3 months till April IF I needed it which I don't seem to and im not sure what they will do next time! I make my next appointment the same day so at least I know when it is.

I cant imagine you would need a scan though as hp has already said your ok!

Goodness, that is ages away. Do they leave that long in between on purpose because that's how they want it to be treatment wise, or is it because they're so busy and that's the next available appointment??

Totally get the 'not yet pregnant milestone'. I've passed through so many of the things that I nearly put off in the naive belief that find already be preggers by now!! I've honestly given up working out due dates, next time I do that will be when I finally get my bfp.

Hmmm...how far is Manchester?! Seriously considering it as it sounds ace!! Ha ha love the recipe if it works, sure V will too with her sweet tooth so post away!!

Right, back to the paint!!

Ages away yet it is the 18th april and I will have just turned 28 another 'not pregnant yet' milestone im sure! Im in manchester not sure if that's a bit of a mooch for a cake! More than happy to post the recipe if it works though!

Sorry, get confused with the clomid. That's good then that you're getting af flying solo. When's your next appt?

Omg that sounds delish!! Where do you live again, may have to come round to sample?! Lol

Think you've just summed it up perfectly - shit happens. I'm definitely sticking to my opinion that you are wise

I think I'm more unsociable than wise ha! I tell myself I shouldn't have told anyone and I jinxed it all the time but I know that's bullshit really! Shit happens and im just one of the unlucky ones. I take a bit of comfort in the fact that it happens to so many women and a lot of them just keep quiet like me. Makes me be kinder to other people as you don't really know what goes on. Makes you realise the horrible ones too!! I havent had the clomid for a while im going solo! Im just going to crack on with the smep till my next appointment.

Ahh painting waiting I dont envy you! Im hiding mini creme eggs in cakemix and seeing what happens!!

Think that's v good advice wood, texting sounds a good way to go, how did you get to be so wise? In one way I'm wishing I hadn't told people now but then I know I wouldn't have been able to not so it's pointless thinking about it as can't 'untell' people. But know they'll all care, just don't want to be the couple with problems that everyone gives their sympathetic smiles to...

How weird af returned, hope she buggers off soon. More clomid this cycle and SMEP as a plan of attack?

(Lounge getting there, we're on the resting bit as waiting for first coat to dry!!)

I am literally 5 mins in the car from my hospital so I'm quite lucky. I have been 3 times now and I wouldn't say I like it but I'm used to it now. I wont dare look at a price list!

No only 2 people know im ttc. My best friend works as a receptionist at a doctor's and it was her doc that suggested pcos and told me to go to my docs and it took me about 7 months to tell my friend. The other is a girl at work. Really easy to talk to and she never asks very often. Then my boss knows I have pcos and so does my mum but I haven't told them any more than that.

I am a very private person really and I don't like being upset (who does) I'm one of those people that copes by hiding. I tend to use holidays for my appointments so know one knows.

If it was me id try and tell my friends by text so they were more sympathetic when face to face. Id expect that once they know they wont ask as much

And don't be silly we all have our time when its hard. That's why we're here to make it easier.

Im still sort of on my period it stopped for a day friday after 3 days and came back yesterday. Weird!

Yes I think you're right. This morning I've woken up desperate to get to the appointment rather than wanting to stick my head in the sand and ignore it all in the hopes it will go away. Is the clinic you go to far from you? Scared myself yst by looking at the price list for the one we've been referred to, so hope the NHS funds it or we're a bit screwed.

Can I ask wood, have you told many people about ttc and the fact you're under a clinic? I've kind of told most of my close friends now we're ttc because got fed up of pretending we weren't and also because I am a cryer I haven't been good at holding it together all the time so just felt easier to explain then have found people to be more supportive (although if I hear just relax, why don't you two go on holiday, just don't think about it then it will happen....one more time I may not be responsible for my actions!!!! Know people mean well and know it's hard to know what to say but a little piece of me withers whenever I hear that)
But now I'm in the dilemma of do I explain or not? If the issue was with me think I'd feel more able to, but as we don't think it is then it gets bit harder. I've already said that we may go to go for tests soon and told one friend that we've been so know next time we meet up it will come up and she will quite understandably ask how we're getting on and not sure now what to say (refer back to me being a cryer... Not good at pretending or hiding things!!) a
Anyway, that's the least of our probs I suppose, just wondered how you're handling it. I've had a few responses from people, not loads but some have reassured me that him having a high count is good news as 1% healthy sperm of a high count is far better than 1% healthy sperm of a low count so just trying to hold on to that for now. (Can't believe that they count 4% as normal - who knew only 4% of sperm were normal and the rest not! I quite frankly have no clue how the human race survives with those odds)

How are things with you? Sorry it's all been me, me, me. Where are you up to??

I think the thought of the appointments are worse than the reality. Im actually glad to go as it feels like I'm getting somewhere! And everyone you speak to at the hospital will be much more knowledgeable than the gp. Did you find any others in a similar situation?

Thanks so much wood, honestly means such a lot that you've taken the time to look it up

Thought of ICSI or ivf at the mo leaves me scared, I'm the kind of person who doesn't even take paracetamol when I've got a headache.

Will try the infertility thread too in a bit then Got a living room to paint first, the decorating must go on!!

I saw your other post on the conception board, try posting it in the infertility board too just incase it is a lot quieter but you might find someone in a similar situation

I read this one and thought it made a bit of sense. It seems like the treatment available for you are not easy but have quite good success rates

www.ingenes.com/en/first-steps/understanding-infertility/causes/male-factors/teratozoospermia-2/

im thinking your dp will have to do nothing more than provide the sperm and they will do what they need to do to at the right time for you

Thanks wood. Obviously been googling like crazy but not sure that's helping!! I can't work out if it's really bad or not as bad as we think. Some websites seem to say no hope and ICSI only answer, then others report they've conceived naturally with it! Stupidly forgot to ask dr how long the referral will take but was reckoning months as opposed to weeks (wish it was days) so that helps to know.
DH ok I think, it's me whose not great, but then feel bad for him so trying (unsuccessfully) to rally round. Think I'd rather prob was with me.

Oh no onelife im really sorry to hear that. Have you found any more information on this since you got back from the docs? I would expect your referral to be about 3 months that is the average I think but you should know your date soon. Im sure there are loads they can do. How is your other half doing? Keep cracking on between now and then because you never know!

Well it ain't good news I'm afraid Dh's sperm count and progressive motility are all fine but his morphology isn't (shape of sperm) He's been diagnosed with teratozoospermia, which means abnormal shaped sperm. They want it to be greater than 4% but his is 1%. They would class severe teratazoospermia as anything less than 1% so he is only just over that bracket. Gp admitted he didn't know much more than that (tbh was annoyed with the way he told us cos he initially said it was all fine, which made us relax as he was going through the results then he just kind of threw this in at the end) and has referred us to fertility clinic, no idea how long that's going to take.

Gutted was so hoping he'd just send us away telling us all was fine and to just crack on

Oh wood, meant to say, embrace the three day af and be grateful!!

My periods seem lighter and was starting to wonder if not enough lining build up etc. and that might be the prob but from dr google I can find no evidence of this and everyone that has written about their concerns for lighter periods is poo pooed and told it's not a prob so I would just say enjoy it!!

PS reflexologist told me to make sure I up my water intake after ov as this helps the lining of the womb so top tip for you ladies

Thanks ladies, will report back. More nervous about getting dh's results than I was my own!!

Had my first reflexology session last night, has anyone ever tried it? Not really sure what to think. It was v nice but I'm a sceptical sod sometimes and I had to try really hard to turn off the piece of my brain that kept saying 'I'm paying £36 for someone to lightly press my feet!!!' But she was v lovely and I'm willing to give it a fair go so have another session booked.

Hoping you're right V, although we've taken it to the extreme and so far have only dtd once! Not planned that way but circumstances have been against us. Think I ov today and had been hoping we'd dtd this morn but didn't happen so I'm keeping fingers crossed my egg hangs around enough for us to pounce as soon as dh walks through the door, that's our plan and he's promised to hurry home!!

Broody, hope you're ok.

Wood, where's this new name of yours?! It's project paint the lounge this weekend for us, can't get out of it any longer!

Anyone up to anything more fun?

Good luck one im sure everything will be fine!

It seems my period this month has lasted a massive 3 days! Im presuming this is ok seen as my cycle days are long enough?