I'm ready for a flaming but just spent the last few hours sobbing and I need to talk.

Writer- I feel we seem to be getting sounded out almost. The views we have for the long term future seem to be being put on the back burner and the concerns for the op we have ignored due to the recent event and the word rape continually being put in internationals mouth. International I know you never said that.
We are just concerned for you and any child that might arise from this situation

OP, I'm sorry for what he did to you. No matter what you want to call it, he did abuse you, and you didn't deserve it. xx

Isn't that why we all post on here? For guidance?

Like I said, only she knows what went on in that bedroom and she says she wasn't raped or assaulted and she is willing to see him again when her gets back from wherever he is.

I know I wouldn't want to see a guy who did that to me if it was rape/assault.

My worry was that if he was only a FWB she would probably tell him to bugger off after having treated her like that (rightly so) but I fear she won't, purely because she wants a baby.

That's what is worrying - what is she willing to put up with and accept as 'ok behaviour' just so she can get her desired baby?

What she said was her lover pushed her down on the bed and entered her. She said in her OP she felt uncomfortable and bled. You can sugar coat it all you wish, but this man entered her body without her consent.
I will not debate with you. MNHQ has made their views on the subject clear as well.
This is an adult woman. She is not in need of your guidance.

Op, I'm going to ask a few questions. Don't feel you need to answer here. Just do so internally.

Have you, would you consider counselling via GP?

Have you been abused as a child?

Have you been abused as a teen or adult?

Do you read your op back to yourself after a few days? Do you see what others see or see and ignore?

For me it doesn't sound like rape just that he has no respect for you. He did what he wanted and left, no thought. Tbh it might have been more above board if he left money. Doesn't that sound weird to read/write?!?! Look, you are plainly intelligent but for some reason wish to be dominated, intimidated and degraded. That is what happened isn't it?

A baby will not fill your void. It will create new voids. You need to request counselling. Might not be many sessions. This presently does not do you justice International. And you deserve so much more.

Wishing you strength.

To be fair, sometimes I bleed after rough sex with my husband, doesn't make it assault though.

Only International knows what happened and whether she was assaulted - she says she wasn't so all we can do is accept that.

Exactly writer!

I can see how her choices are outside of the norm. I just hate seeing anyone bullied for lifestyle choices out of the mainstream.
I may not agree with what she is doing, but I bow to her decisions as an adult woman.
The sexual incident is troubling to me, as I suspect it may be for some of us with a history of abuse. Any time a sex partner is made to feel uncomfortable or hurt to the point of bleeding is an assault to me.
Anyway, International knows I support her. I am open to pm's if that makes things more comfortable for her.

We aren't upset, we are frustrated that she can't see how potentially destructive her situation is. She seems vulnerable and seems to be happy to accept whatever this FWB does to her due to her desperation for a child. It just sounds worrying.

International, this is your thread. Please continue to post as long as you feel necessary. Nobody is allowed to legislate your feelings about what happened to you. It would seem to me, if other person's are that upset by what you write, they would hide the thread.

International, you know what I want to say!! put the phone down!!!!

Who has he gone away with??

No but seriously you need help abd support in RL for this because you seem to want to keep this all going until you get a 100% response that what your doing is right. Your not going to get that.
I don't actually mean to be rude, I'm being honest. I'm not a nasty person but I just need to be honest.
This is a child we are talking about and a man who has been somewhat violent to you.

Answer me this honestly: You've spoken to him again haven't you?

It's bloody boakworthy the attention seeking.
But you carry on your shenanigans I'm sure you will keep us informed I just really don't want to see the time come when you really need help, support and guidance

Oh FFS

Hi International, glad you are getting on. This is your thread and you have every right to post what you wish. Apparently thos at MNHQ agree that this thread is valid as they have commented on those poster's making vile comments to you. I wish you then best of luck.

I never said that you did...to clarify I said this thread is ridiculous and an insult to women who have been raped!

international, I'm glad you're feeling better and you never did say you were raped. I still don't think that what he did was right though.

To be fair, that's true. I may not agree with international's approach to TTC but she never said she was raped. In fact when asked, she gave more detail and said she didn't feel she was raped.