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Conception

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I'm ready for a flaming but just spent the last few hours sobbing and I need to talk.

386 replies

internationallove985 · 18/07/2013 00:10

I have decided not to name change here for the simple reason you will know it's me by my post and if you're going to flame me or say "Well I told you so", it may as well be the real me. I have posted here rather chat because I have opened up to more people on the conceptions threads.

Most of you know my situation for those that don't I have been sleeping with a guy for the past 2 months in the hopes of getting pregnant. I usual see him on Wednesday day time and Fri evening but I couldn't see him today so we arranged to see each other tonight... Anyway he got to mine for about 9.30.
We went straight upstairs. Sorry if what I say next is T.M.I but I gave him oral and yes rightly or wrongly expected it back but just as he was about to cum he pushed me down on the bed and dtd (with no foreplay) and came in less than a minute got up got dressed and said "I'm going now". I feel so used. I might as well be honest it felt a bit uncomfortable and I bled a little. The only time I've ever bled after sex is when I lsot my virginity.
I know I've been allowing myself to get used. I have never felt emotive after sex but I have just spent the past few hours sobbing. I'm in no way trying to cry rape as that was not the case at all, not once did I struggle or say no, but a little consideration would not have gone a miss. I just couldn't believe the change in him.
He is going away tommorow for a few weeks which now I am glad about as it will give me time to think. I'm sure he'd be mortified if he knew how he'd made me feel, do I tell him I feel used or do I just put it down to a quickie and rough sex. xx

OP posts:
JuicyFatSteak · 18/07/2013 23:55

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JuicyFatSteak · 18/07/2013 23:52

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JuicyFatSteak · 18/07/2013 23:46

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Sparklyboots · 18/07/2013 23:40

Where does it say she did consent? She gave him a blow job and then was held down while penetrated so roughly she bled.

JuicyFatSteak · 18/07/2013 23:38

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titzup · 18/07/2013 23:37

This is all wrong wrong wrong. Please do everyone involved a favour and stop it in its tracks right here right now. Get yourself AI'd if you want a baby, or find yourself a man who gives a shit about you and the kid. It's better, much better. Honest.

JuicyFatSteak · 18/07/2013 23:35

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Sparklyboots · 18/07/2013 23:31

Non consensual sex is rape. I'm not sure what this has to do with Radical Feminism? Or Fifty Shades of Grey and whether or not I read it?

Anyway, whether or not this man intended to leave the OP feeling awful, or it occurred to him that he needed to get consent before having sex with her, the OP did not feel she had given consent and so has experienced rape. Note that I am not suggesting she has him hung. But a quick lesson in what constitutes consent might be relevant? And also ending this awful relationship.

JuicyFatSteak · 18/07/2013 23:27

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Sparklyboots · 18/07/2013 23:12

OP that is horrible. Whatever your strategies about getting pregnant, they are not a crime punishable by rape.

Please don't see this man again. Also, post on relationships, where you will get more thoughtful support. This is not to say that anyone will like how you set up the relationship, but none of the regular posters there would think that any of that amounted to a crime punishable by rape.

JuicyFatSteak · 18/07/2013 23:06

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LithaR · 18/07/2013 22:39

If you want a baby without all this risk, do what I do and visit a free donor website. More honest and less risk of feeling bad after.

The one I use is pollentree. Very good for all kinds of donations regarding fertility too.

valiumredhead · 18/07/2013 22:16

Oh gosh yes MAP asap.

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 18/07/2013 22:15

Couldn't agree more little bear

OhBuggerMe · 18/07/2013 22:12

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LittleBearPad · 18/07/2013 22:10

Get the morning after pill and move on from him. This is not the bloke you want fathering your child.

valiumredhead · 18/07/2013 22:08

Oh noSad

Have a bath, early night and don't see him again. If you are seeing some one for sex the very least you want is for it to be good!

Chalk it up to a bad experience that won't be repeatedWine Thanks

DfanjoUnchained · 18/07/2013 22:04

Well, you got what you wanted and so did he. Win-win I'd say.

JuicyFatSteak · 18/07/2013 21:54

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OhBuggerMe · 18/07/2013 21:45

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JuicyFatSteak · 18/07/2013 21:43

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KeepTheFaithBaby · 18/07/2013 17:19

If he treats you like this though, how might he be if he finds out you've got pregnant? Confused

ThoraNomiki · 18/07/2013 17:11

I don't see the irony. Having sex without contraception is not a crime and if it were they would both be guilty. He forced himself upon her so roughly she bled..
I doubt he would have treated her any better if she'd been on the pill. As far as I can tell he doesn't know either way so it wouldn't have featured as part of his reasoning..

Strokethefurrywall · 18/07/2013 16:43

The irony of this post doesn't escape me. You're using him for his sperm through deceit which you've admitted in your other posts, and you expect him to have respect for you?

He's using you. You're using him. I struggle to have an ounce of sympathy for you. Just go to a sperm bank and get some dignity.

ThoraNomiki · 18/07/2013 16:37

oh Interational that is awful. I'm sorry you've been treated like that Sad it sounds like he thinks of you as little more than his play thing, a human blow-up doll. You do not need to be treated that way! Please consider finding another way to conceive a child. Imagine being tied to him for the remainder of your life (not necessarily in a relationship with each other but as joint parents). Is it worth taking the risk?