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Conception

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Original poster

I'm ready for a flaming but just spent the last few hours sobbing and I need to talk.

386 replies

internationallove985 · 18/07/2013 00:10

I have decided not to name change here for the simple reason you will know it's me by my post and if you're going to flame me or say "Well I told you so", it may as well be the real me. I have posted here rather chat because I have opened up to more people on the conceptions threads.

Most of you know my situation for those that don't I have been sleeping with a guy for the past 2 months in the hopes of getting pregnant. I usual see him on Wednesday day time and Fri evening but I couldn't see him today so we arranged to see each other tonight... Anyway he got to mine for about 9.30.
We went straight upstairs. Sorry if what I say next is T.M.I but I gave him oral and yes rightly or wrongly expected it back but just as he was about to cum he pushed me down on the bed and dtd (with no foreplay) and came in less than a minute got up got dressed and said "I'm going now". I feel so used. I might as well be honest it felt a bit uncomfortable and I bled a little. The only time I've ever bled after sex is when I lsot my virginity.
I know I've been allowing myself to get used. I have never felt emotive after sex but I have just spent the past few hours sobbing. I'm in no way trying to cry rape as that was not the case at all, not once did I struggle or say no, but a little consideration would not have gone a miss. I just couldn't believe the change in him.
He is going away tommorow for a few weeks which now I am glad about as it will give me time to think. I'm sure he'd be mortified if he knew how he'd made me feel, do I tell him I feel used or do I just put it down to a quickie and rough sex. xx

OP posts:
saintmerryweather · 20/07/2013 14:28

when you talk more thoroughly are you going to tell him hes gonna be a daddy? or will your honesty not extend that far?

yamsareyammy · 20/07/2013 14:28

Be careful internationallove985.

You are playing with fire.
You may get burnt.
He may be finding out just how "rough" you will accept.

and in your case, that may be quite far.

You could be starting a rape thread on here before very long.

Original poster
internationallove985 · 20/07/2013 14:10

Thank you to everyone who offered me their support. He was calling me all last night in the end something told me to answer... We talked for a little while and I told him how he made me feel. I wont go into detail about the conversation as I think even on here somethings should be kept private. We are going to talk more throughly when he comes home and take it from there. xxx

OP posts:
Branleuse · 19/07/2013 17:53

this is just a complete non issue.

Youve had sex with a guy that turned out to be a bit crap. He used you, but it shouldnt be a big deal to you because you have been using him, but for some reason it is. Maybe because youre a bit entitled

ZingWidge · 19/07/2013 16:49

ok, not read full thread, but here's what I think (also having read previous comments of OP elsewhere)

OP however much I understand your desire to have another baby I can not applaud your method of TTC which is based on tricking someone else. It doesn't sit right with me as such.

BUT

in your defence I must say that in your case at least one of you actively wants a baby which IMO -on its own!- is a way better start compared to when babies are a result of ONSs, carelessness & accidents or rape and as such are unwanted and/or unplanned by the "parents".

I really think you should talk to your boyfriend and discuss this.
we all want things but that doesn't mean we will or should.
please consider what others said - some people are trying to protect you and your future baby from unnecessary problems.

I do hope you will have another child one day out of a loving relationship where you both decided to TTC.

WannaBeAMommy · 19/07/2013 16:31

Conception...... Everything to do with conception. Ive had some threads of my own that you couldnt say to anyone in person like how long do you wait to go toilet. Do you raise your bum. Drinking etc. Isn't this about getting the right info no matter how silly tge queations are and then doing tests and the two week wait... Its meant to be a fun forum not this!

MissStrawberry · 19/07/2013 16:00

You already have a child?

MissStrawberry · 19/07/2013 15:59

"rightly or wrongly...."

It would be WRONG to see him again.

You are so casual about how you can have/get a baby I really feel you need to mature a bit and get some counselling.

chipmonkey · 19/07/2013 15:16

Snazzy, there is no deal. This guy is completely unaware that she is using him to get pregnant. He's just in it for sex.

coffeeinbed · 19/07/2013 15:14

sorry, epic bold fail.

coffeeinbed · 19/07/2013 15:13

[Juicy fat steak. How have you came to than conclusion! and you call me a troll!!! x]
You have to admire the use of the kiss after a sentence like that.
Grin

bonkersLFDT20 · 19/07/2013 15:09

PedantMarina The news article states "and ignored the woman's demand that he not ejaculate."

So, she withdrew her consent. Different to what the OP is talking about.

JuicyFatSteak · 19/07/2013 14:58

This reply has been deleted

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yamsareyammy · 19/07/2013 14:51

He walks away, unless he wants to be involved, is the unspoken deal Snazzy.Well, hardly a deal, as he doesnt know he is being used in this way.

It is quite clear that this lady is ill, but it doesnt mean that she shouldn't hope for support when things go badly wrong.

OhBuggerMe · 19/07/2013 14:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 19/07/2013 14:44

Can I ask, OP - because I haven't read your other threads - have you agreed on whether he will be named as the father if a baby is conceived, financially support you etc? Or is the deal that he supplies the sperm and once conception happens, he walks away, no more involvement?

I can understand why you would feel upset after the experience you describe, and those are your feelings and perfectly valid ones.

yamsareyammy · 19/07/2013 14:42

I ahve always thought that fwb means just that to a man, but does involve feelings on the woman's part.

yamsareyammy · 19/07/2013 14:42

hth means "hope that helps".

yamsareyammy · 19/07/2013 14:41

OP. You are using him, and he is using you.
You have both decided to leave love out of it all.

"I am as deserving of sex with a loving partner than as any other woman" is what you wrote.
But I didnt think this had anything to do with love for you?
So it does really?
How interesting. Are you being really honest with yourself? That deep down, this did all involve love for you?

Original poster
internationallove985 · 19/07/2013 14:40

Also can I ask what HTH means? x

OP posts:
Original poster
internationallove985 · 19/07/2013 14:40

Juicy fat steak. How have you came to than conclusion! and you call me a troll!!! x

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/07/2013 14:39

Your poor child.

MrsHoarder · 19/07/2013 14:35

Op you don't get to choose if the father is involved this way. If he's a positive influence or someone who undermines you, comes and goes and makes your DC feel insecure. So if you know he's a bit of an arse its a good idea not to have children with him.

There are other men, or there is using proper sperm donation.

JuicyFatSteak · 19/07/2013 14:32

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coffeewineandchocolate · 19/07/2013 14:31

thanks tsc I was trying to form a response that wasn't immediately deleted...

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