How hard is it having three?

I was one of three and absolutely loved it, still do.

I know life was hard for mum as a SAHM and finances were tight, but then she would have still been a SAHM with 2 of us, so finances would have always been tight. I never remember feeling like I went without anything and I was never aware how tight money was (only now as an adult chatting to my mum do I realise). Yes we had to get a bigger car, but that doesn't nec cost more than a smaller car. Yes, if we had gone on holiday in a hotel it would have cost more but as we always went self catering, it made no difference. And yes for the first 6 years of DC3's life we were still in a 3 bed house so we had to share a room for a while. So there were sacrifices and only you can decide if they are worth it.

BUT, there was always laughter, noise, mess, a little gang of friends and loads and loads of love, from our parents to each of us and between each other. I had such a happy childhood and feel extremely blessed.

Also, remember that your kids will grow and as an adult I love being 1 of 3. In fact my bro and sis are 2 of my best friends. My little bro (age 23) is actually currently living with me and DH! I live 2 mins walk from my sis flat as well. We all get together at least once a week. They are my support network and once I have my DCs they will be no end of help. They can't wait to be Aunty and Uncle and will be demanding to babysit! I adore both of them, and personality wise they are so different, I could not imagine only having one sibling to love!

And the cost of uni thing. Well yes uni is expensive but you do get a student loan so what parents need to contribute isnt too bad, particularly if you can work it so you only have 1 at uni at a time. And of course don't forget they may not all go to uni. Its not right for everyone, my sis never went (bro and I did), she trained through work instead and is doing very well for herself.

Now, I am not trying to say that everyone should have 3!! You must do what is right for you and your family. I do think, however, that there will always be a financial/practical reason not to have 1/2/3/4 etc dcs, so if it right for you, I think you will have to listen to your heart as your head may not agree! I also just want to say for the record how much I love being one of 3!

piece of piddle

I have a ds 4.4,dd1 2.3 and dd2 14mths nearly 15mths

No seriously it isnt that bad even though dd2 is THE most demanding out of all 3. She is clingy and whiney but she is also a little character and a delight. People will tell you the third slots right in but that was not the case for us..she has fought her way to the top tooth and nail and she is only 14mth`s.We are debating no.4 so all in all it cant be that bad!!
Financially for us it isnt too much different we were skint we are skint..lol Weekly food shopping with nappies costs us about £60-70 a week which is a lot better than some people I know with 1.Holidays and stuff are hard financially but not unobtainable..this year we are doing 4 nights at butlins!We have also taken up camping to ensure we get some sort of break every year. Finding people willing to babysit is hard as 3 tends to put people off but am hoping as they get older it will become easier. It is chaotic but fun..never dull and just make sure they are all in bed by 8pm to keep your sanity.

iam really torn about whether to have a third, i would absolutely love another, hubby not so sure. keeps saying to me all the practical stuff like sleepless nights being outnumbered ect and i know hes right but my heart says something else. feel if i agree not to then i will regret it. is it really that hard to go from two to three?

hi I am new to this so the abbreviation side of it is not happening.
Anyway I have just found out I am pregnant with number 3, having finally, after many months of saying "shall we shan't we", deciding to stick at two.
Obviously this has been a bit of a shock to the system and there have been lots of tears, basically because as of next September I would have been free until 3pm. Number one is 7 in April and number 2 is four at Christmas.
I am soooo scared I am not going to cope, I also don't want to start again as all my friends are now moving on with their lives. My husband does not share my fears, but they are getting bigger and bigger by the day.
Some sound advice needed urgently please.

Now you see I really did find ds2 just slotted in. But I did keep some childcare going for the other 2 (I was lucky enough to be able to) for when I was on mat leave with ds2 which made it easier. My top tip for the school/nursery run was to use a sling - I would get all 3 children out of the car (we had to drive to our nursery school in town) and pop ds2 in the sling (a baby bjorn) so giving me two hands for the (nearly) 2yo and (nearly) 4yo. In fact ds2 lived in that sling for his first 6 mo!
On the middle child thing, my DD is the middle one so she's the only girl, and very much her own person anyway, so I'm not too worried about that.
I am the middle child and the 2nd girl so it was harder for me, but that could be true with any family about 1 child!

We can highly recommend 3, but would say it was almost as life-changing as going from no kids to one. Trying to do school runs/nursery runs with a baby etc is not easy when you're carrying the baby and only have one hand left for the road crossing. It made ds1 grow up v quickly. I agree with Poppiesinaline as far as feeling restricted with activities because dd at 18months cant quite keep up with 5.5 and 4yo boys. And then the boys miss out on the mummy time because I'm having to help dd so much. But they have each other and love being a little team and adore their sister so, no, I wouldnt change it. Would love more help with the house maintenance though (ironing, cleaning, gardening etc), that's one thing with more money I would do, just to have more quality time playing with the kids. But then that's my hang up with wanting a tidy, well organised home!!

hardest things for us with having 3 were looking after 3 very young children on our own, we did have 3 in 4 years so quite close together (it's ok when we're both around). The safety issues of going out alone with toddlers and babies romping all over the place was a bit scary. I kept losing children (temporarily) all over the place at the beginning.

also the laundry and housework. there's too much of it.

I do like having 3. just haven't always found it easy. can't really understand the people who say a 3rd just "fits in".

ha ha ha

oh how I love having three from 3.30 onwards when the baby cries constantly and the other dds want me/stuff/food/barbie dressing/paddling pool filled/snacks/roller skates done up/bums wiped

I can't take all 3 boys out alone, but can manage 3 with one helper. (but see my situation below). We don't really do holidays with all 3- we may try a few days later in the year- but that's not financial that;s just the difficulties of taking ds1 away. We do try and take the younger 2 away for a week, and we may try a few days at the end of August in the UK.

House is more of a pit, but I am working/studying in the evening. House was a pit with 2 anyway.

No,middle child syndrome here either.I've got the big one,the little one and the extra special lucky one.
We told him he was so lucky because when it's a treat for the big kids,he gets to be a big kid,when it's a treat for the little kids he gets to be a little kid,how fantastic is that?The best of both worlds!

In reality,i try to make all my children feel special and unique regardless of birth order.Seems to be working so far.

I've got three.
Holidays,days out (family tickets are usually 2+2)etc are more expensive.Ummm,well actually everything is more expensive but you compromise.
Housework and tidying doesn't seem worse to me,no problem cooking one more meal.
Everything else you just kind of get used to,like going from one to two really,but more so.

hi

my mum is the second of three children and she hated it. she said that she suffered from "middle child syndrome". Basically the theory is that the eldest child has a special place because he/she is the first born, and the youngest is the baby, but the middle one doesn't really fit in anywhere. she really felt she was left out as a child

Oh 99, read yr other post now.
We had to buy a Picasso to get 3 car seats in the back. We live in a 3-bed semi. It's very full but basically fine.
Hols - we have to hire a bigger cottage but it's not a major problem. I mean all these things are well worth it when i see DS2's gorgeous face...
Mine are rarely ill thank goodness and we go on days out all the time. I or DH frequently go out with all 3 and only one parent - it's jst fine, I promise! remember that the oldest is able to help - it's not like you've got 3 toddlers.
I see prettycandles agrees with me about 1 boy, 1 girl!

I've found it very difficult, but ds1 is severely autistic so its like having a 7 year old baby (he can't talk)- and a badly behaved one at that, and then a 4 year old and 17 month old on top.

Having said that ds3 is now beginning to get more independent, he now walks well. runs, is as safe as any child on the stairs and is beginning to repond to instructions (so I can do more from afar iyswim). And I think it's getting a little bit easier.

Financially- I'm not sure it made that much difference. We would have had to change cars (which would have been a problem) but then ds1 was awarded higher rate motability so we were able to get a car that way, and I made sure I got one big enough for the 3. DS3 will start nursery one day a week in September so that will be more expensive.

Physically- yes- but a lot of the physical stuff now is really dealing with ds1, and that would have happened anyway.

Mind you since having ds3, I've also started an MSc and work part time (from home) so maybe it has given me more energy :o

I do like having 3- and dh loves it- he loves calling the 3 boys and having the 3 of them trot out to the car.....

I love having 3.
DH and I both work full time and are very thrifty (+ mean lol) so money not a prob atm.
Agree re future poss further education, start saving now!
I would have four were it not for my age and other factors, so 3 can't be that bad.
I've posted this before but I love the dynamic of 3, everyone always has a playmate, and how they interract.
I have DS1, DD, DS2 btw. Lots of people will wonder with "one of each" why you want a 3rd - like the only "correct" family is a boy and a girl. This may or may not annoy you (it annoyed me lol )

I have three under five and my house is a tip. I think the chores go up massively with three children. There seems never ending ironing, tidying, meals to cook. Days out are O.K unless you want to do something remotely dangerous e.g swimming. there aren't enough adults when the children are little to make it safe.
We haven't found it a strain financially although I've given up work for the time being. I think what the kids miss out on is time with you as I'm so busy doing chores. I like to think it makes them more creative though .

More difficult than it is having two

In terms of the practicalities, we don't have a car anyway, so we didn't have to think about getting a bigger one! And DS1 and DS2 already shared a bedroom before DS3 came along, so that was okay (we live in a three-bedroomed house).

I think having one of each is a red herring. Children aren't a commodity, that you get the right amount or ballance of. I have one of each, and it didn't stop me from going for no3 (though after no2 was born many people said to my face 'now that you have one of each, you won't be having any more'). I would want more even if Ihad all boys or all girls. I would love to have more than 3, but feel that I have to call a halt at some point, because I am 40 and don't want to inflict an elderly mum on my children - I'm old enough as it is! That said, had dh decided that he wanted to stick with 2 I would have grieved a while, mourned my lost opportunities, and then got on with being happy and fulfilled with my lot.

I love having three but it is a lot different to how I thought it would be - ds2 has grown up so quickly compared to the other two.

I agree with dinosaure on the sleep thing too. I have never been more tired as I have been in the last 11 months.

There are heaps of compromises too, especially with regards to things like holidays and restaurant tables - stuff we used to take for granted! The family dynamic more than makes up for all of this though and I wouldn't change ds2 for the world .