Legs in the air.

international, I'm confused now. Are you saying that he does have a partner, or that you do, hence only being available for dates 2 afternoons a week?

That's a horrible situation but shows what an arse your partner is if he thought you'd trick him.

Writer- you got it. Sorry it's very very emotive subject for me.
It's not recent no, dd is 10 months now and I'm okay. It's currently a bit raw as the scenario about being deceitful has just been slung into court about me.
Bit raw you see.

Just makes me really angry and sad because cases of deceitful women like this make men think twice about their partners.
My case is more involved, but, the short bit is: he left me as he thought I'd tricked him into having a child.
The man I loved, my best friend.

So you know it's wrong, don't do it, wait for the right man to have a family with. I look at tiny babies and feel broody, doesn't mean I'm going to go to such lengths.

I've never came on here and said what I am doing is ideal but sadly we don't live in ideal world...If we did I'd be winning the euro illions every week!!!
I am trying to create a new life... The way certain people have gone on you'd be forgiven for thinking I was committing the crime of century.

Oh buggar me... I have to say this or I'll bite my tongue off or would that me fingers... I am far from stupid yes he could have other "Fuck buddies" other than me. My personal circumstances only allow me to see twice a week so how the hell do I what he's doing when he's not with me, I'm going to be brave enough and say this to you and I await a flaming.... Well here goes..... How do you do your D.P/D.H is not sleeping with other women behind your back. The honest truth is you don't!

Please try not to be smug... The fates don't like it....xx

fwiw, Makeit, I know a youngish woman who went to full term, and only knew on the day that she gave birth, that she had been pregnant. It is hard to believe, until you personally know someone yourself.
Not that that helps you at all. Sorry for your predicament.

I think you are an intelligent woman.
I think that you know deep down that your behaviour is wrong.
But, as you say, you walk over people to get what you want.

Did your parents teach you to do that?

You should know what your doing Is wrong then.

Make it up, your post makes no sense at all

People like me, Makeitupasyougoalong. Where did you pluck that one from. I am a single mum and I know how challenging/rewarding it is it is and I am sorry for your experience but it most certainly is not down to me personally how things have worked out for you. x

I can't believe what I'm reading.
It's because of people like you that my partner has left me as a single parent.
Because he read stories about women like you and can't see how I could have been 23 weeks pregnant without knowing or being deceitful.

Disgusting.

Know I know the stories he read actually do hold some truth.

I was wondering if he'd had the snip too.... I've no idea how common it is, but that's one possible reason why he wouldn't care about not using contraception. Or perhaps he already knows he's infertile.

Excellent point made regarding Vasectomy.

Excellent point made regarding DNA/Genetic traits.

When I was pregnant and having the standard appointments with the midwife, all kinds of questions were asked regarding health issues within the family. ie, diabetes, cancer, sickle cell (very a real possibility with me because of my dual ethnicity) and so on.

I was stumped for answers as I simply did not know.

I have found out now on my fathers side there are immediatefamily members who suffer from the same delibattating illness, genetic of course.

This is another risk you're taking.

Correction Yams: International IS taking the risk.

Re Frank Spenser's post, International (I'm assuming this is in a similar vein, but apologies to Frank if not): are you aware of the stats on children, especially girls, brought up without fathers? The huge rise in problems such as (extremely) underage sex, inability to form adult relationships with men, drug abuse, confidence issues, and mental health problems when compared with girls who have fathers in their lives? Ofc, plenty of children are brought up without a father through no fault of theirs or their mothers, but it seems risky and unfair to me to deliberately inflict this on your child/ren.

Also, as a point of interest, you've said that you 'don't dislike' your FWB. If he's not all that important to you and you don't have any strong feelings for him, why is he good enough to father your child/ren? That seems odd to me. As an accident, yeah, but personally I can't imagine planning to have a child fathered by someone who wasn't aware and for whom I had no particular feelings.

Ive been reading with interest, and I just want to give a little word of warning to international. My partner had a ds with his ex. She was 5 months prg when he found out accidently she was prg (they had spilt soon after she got pg and she had told him she was on the pill) She did everything to keep him away from ds we went through the courts etc etc and we now see him most days and weekends and holidays.

Just be prepared for him actually wanting to be in the childs life more than you want if you are successful. I dont know you or him and so cant and shouldnt pass judgement

Do you mean that you were honest with him once about something else, and it came back to bite you?

And are you taking a risk that your new son or daughter will not be like FrankSpenser?

Hi Frankspenser. Of course I'm not going to tell him about my plans. Well I may more likely will not get what I want if I'm honest. Like I said previously I was honest once and it came back to bite me so ever since then I've been decietful. xxx

Whatever you decide to do....either way, something ill thought may come back to bite you in the bum in the least expected way, wether months from now or decades later.

There are other ways, if needs must that arent so immoral.

Lesser of two evils, for turn of phrase.

You won't outright tell him what your do because you know deep down he'll put a stop to your 'appointments' and you'll never see him again.

I grew up without my dad. Didn't know him, what he looked like, why/how he and mum met and splitt. Mum delibratly kept me in the dark about him and very mistakenly believed I could skip through life not needing to know him. It didn'tmatter to her, because she was selfish and naive.

I still had issues that I carry with around with to this very day and I dont think they'll ever really leave me. just consider your children just may subjected to similar. And its really grim.

Hi Valiumredhead. Thankyou for your kind words. xx

Say sorry I mean.