Legs in the air.

Writer, unclutch your twin set edge-to-edge cardigan for a moment and consider this: I had a termination after a one-night stand when I was 31. I am now almost 42 and pregnant from IVF using a donor's eggs. Do you suppose I didn't 'deserve' this baby and that is why I struggled to conceive? How dare you judge a person's fitness to be a mother based on their ttc behaviour? Not everyone lives like you. Not everyone has your values. Sme people use short cuts in life. Doesn't make them sneer-worthy. Get a grip (but not of your pearls, please).

Nice to see people condoning this eh.

Wonder what this child will be told when its older.

International, ignore the pearl clutchers. There are very few of us on here who have conceived in the most perfect way imaginable. If your fuck buddy is not protecting himself he is fair game for becoming an accidental dad. Believe me, go on any conception thread and you will find women struggling to get pregnant in their thirties and forties who probably wish they'd got knocked up somehow, anyhow years earlier. It's a serious business this looking for Mr Right (he doesn't exist) whilst trying to smash through that glass ceiling (I found it and ended up cleaning it).

I hope you get the baby you so desire.

Looked it up. Some seems to fit, some maybe not.

You could be right Writer.

Off to bed too.

I need my bed ladies, night

Narcissism? she wants a baby that's all.

Look up narcissism, what on earth makes you think that?

Heck, just realised that may be a bit rude of me.
I think it was partly because you said something about" being made differently to other people, that is for sure."

internationallove985. Do you think you may have narcissism? I dont know much about it, but it is discussed on here quite a lot.
fwiw, from what I have read on here about it, no one ever says they do! It is one of the things about narcissism.

I cannot begin to tell you how offensive (not the right word but it's late!)I find you telling international that the situation needs to end. It's entirely up to them what they do, them being adults and all!

I also think that international (and, if you ask me, 'international love' seems an odd name for someone who says she can't find someone to be in love with) sounds proud of what she is doing. Is that true, International? I also suspect you're quite young. I could perhaps understand what you're doing better if you were 40+ and thinking your time was running out, but something in the way you write makes you sounds far younger. I'd guess you're in your 20s. Is that right? I'd also guess that you had your DD pretty young - late teens? Am I anywhere near the mark here? I've noticed that you've mentioned your situation, often somewhat cryptically, on several threads. It almost seems like you're inviting people to ask questions and that you enjoy the attention. I could well be wrong, but it comes across llike that to be and I find that odd.

Can someone tell me what is wrong with the idea of a sperm bank? Surely that, or adoption, is the ideal solution if you don't have a partner and are desperate for a baby... You also have the peace of mind in knowing the background and genetics of the person whose sperm you are using - more than International seems to know of the man she is sleeping with.

International Two specific evenings a week, every week? Is that when his wife is out/at work or when he's supposedly at the gym or out with the lads? Plenty of people cheat, as you said, but that doesn't make it right. Do you even know if he has kids? Sounds like an all-round messy, nasty situation to me.

Re the issue of marriage supposedly being the 'ideal', who said that? I don't think anyone is championing marriage and Christian ideals. There's a huge spectrum here. I'm not married and nor do I feel any need to be, but there's a huge difference between having a baby with my DP and tricking some random bloke I barely know into fathering my child.

Maybe he hasn't had the talk with her as he wants to conceive. Who knows. His contraception is his responsibility, a pregnancy can't be a surprise when you are having unprotected sex, no one is poking holes in condoms, or lying about taking the pill, no one is being tricked or cheated into anything.

But it doesn't actually matter a hoot-no condom =a baby more often than not. He has to take 50% of the responsibility.

Maybe he knows for medical reasons that he cant have one.

He maybe has had the snip maybe the most obvious one.

Maybe he thought he had had the conversation.
Maybe he misheard.
Maybe, if he is doing the same thing with others, he has got confused.
Maybe he is reckless.
Maybe he isnt bothered one way or the other. Either because he may want one at the back of his mind. Or maybe because he would have no hesitation in scarpering.
Could be other reasons I havent thought of now it is nearly nighttime.

Wear

Not clever enough to west a condom though eh?

I am half joking. If he isn't wearing a condom then why would a baby be a surprise?

Not sure if you are joking valium. I presume you are.