Legs in the air.

Ill let you

Makeitup, sorry I've been snappy, can I blame the hormones?

I'm a complete meat freak

Juicy- I think you get what I mean and where I'm coming from now .
Your name is making me really hungry!!! I'm the middle of moving and no food shop done. Steak would do nicely right now!

Cupcake, I would say a disease is very different to a baby. The law sees it as assault if a man willingly has sex with a woman knowing he has HIV/HepC and she becomes infected.

Makeitup, I don't think international intends to do any sniffing...unless she's a cokehead, too

We're not talking about sperm.
We are talking about a life. I do agree with you that the man shouldn't do it no, but is the op going to do the whole 'I'm pregnant, sniff sniff by accident' because that's bollocks. That's the worst bit, if she says I'm pregnant you never asked me about contraception and I assumed: that's fair enough and I think that's fine

Makeitup ( a very apt name, by-the-way), can't you see that a man who is happily fucking on a regular basis without using a condom is donating his sperm? What this lady chooses to do with that sperm is her business.

That man has chosen to deposit his sperm knowingly and wllingly to make a child is the difference.
This man, I know he hasn't chosen to discuss the use of contraception but he hasn't actually said he wishes to TTC that's the difference.

The problem here is morals. I do truely hope the man in question does have a relationship with any possible child in this instance but only knowing what cards have been laid on the table.
I suspect if this man did know what was going on he could be quite angry, yes he has played his part I do accept that but I cannot believe that people are condoning this situation.

There are right ways to do this.

As a purely academic point (no judgement), do the people who say half the blame lays with the man because he hasn't mentioned contraception think it was the same for a man who has sex with women knowing he has a serious STD or is even HIV positive? That they are equally to blame because they didn't make him wear a condom. After all, we all know the risks from unprotected sex are pregnancy and infection.
I just wondered if to some people it's easier to excuse because to us having a baby is a positive thing. I don't know, it just made me think maybe it's not as black and white as it first looks.
By the way, I'm in no way saying what International is doing is the same as that. I was just curious as to where people draw the line with their morals. Absolutely no offence to anyone meant! x

It's the deception I think...

Makeitup, so you advocate this woman buying sperm and rearing a fatherless child but not via casual sex? Can you explain this nonsense?

No Valium it's not your right, I'm just thinking morally that's all

Money? It's not a cheap option by any means.

I don't disagree with you when you say it's happening all over but I just do not see what is wrong with a sperm bank.

Yes, 'tis true that these types of men (and women) are susceptible to STDs. It's a difficult one because insisting on condoms isn't going to get you a baby. Sperm banks are a great option.

My biggest concern for you international is about STIs - what if instead of getting pregnant you get chlamydia and end up infertile?

(bugs its not the OP that's got the FWB but another poster)

No. I do not. I object to narrow-minded arseholes who refuse to believe that not all babies are conceived through pure lurve, listening to Barry White whist spooning with your 'perfect' husband. Babies are conceived through deception all the time including within stable relationships/marriages. If a man is stupid enough to be fucking around without a condom he has no right to be outraged when a woman rocks up with his baby in her arms.

There are women deceiving their men specifically to get pregnant all over the world and it has been like that forever.

Juicy, it sounds to me like you've a huge chip on your shoulder tbh

Juicy- it is a completely different situation? You've not been deceitful, you've been thoughtful for a start.
Why would you not be completely honest with your child.
It's quite alot different to saying 'oh yes because I lied, and TTC in such a deceitful way you haven't got a father because he's married or been tricked or ran for the hills

I'm not even doubting or criticising the fact a baby is wanted. Nor do I think that op will be a bad parent, I think she will be a fantastic parent with so much love to give actually.

This is the situations sperm banks should be used for, any woman to do that and explain to a child they had so much love to give and are wanted so much is Incredible. Something to be so proud of.

What I object to is the fact this is a situation where someone, maybe more than one is likely to get hurt. It may end up well and as a family but sadly I think the odds are against it.

Who cares what a child needs in its life eh?!
Who cares that every child deserves to have a daddy.

Writer, the lesbians around here must really love you

Maybe we should all go round to Katie Price's gaff and throw insults at her for marrying someone new every year just so she can have more babies. She's a great mum, by all accounts. What's the big deal? Or is it only the rich who are allowed to manipulate their men and get away with it?

Makeitup, please will you list some suggestions of things I can say to my donor egg conceived child about how he/she was made? You sound like you'd have some amazing insight

Completely different scenario!!!