Legs in the air.

fifi, I would love to know what is underpinning your ire, but I'm going to ask you something and I want an honest answer, pliz: what do you think of women who use a sperm bank to fulfil their longing for a baby? Please bear in mind that any resulting child will be fatherless.

What do you think of lesbians who choose to have babies without a father?

What do you think of Katie Price and her marry-'em-quick-to-get-me-another-baby strategy?

What do think about the fact that, over on the TTC Over 40 thread there are women of 45 and 46 who are trying their hardest to have their third, fourth, even sixth baby without their husband's knowledge (and by that I mean their husbands are having sex with them regularly without condoms because they do not believe their wives will fall pregnant at that age but are still adamant that a baby would be 'a curse' in their lives). These men would be literally heartbroken if their wives fell pregnant yet the women continue with their feverish quest to silence their longing.

There are women up and down the land, fifi, who are carving out lives for themselves and their children with the very best of intentions. Some of those choices seem astonishingly selfish and 'immoral' to us but if you look beneath the surface of most people's lives you will see some really selfish shit going on.

International, I don't applaud you for what you're doing, but as a barren of nearly 42 who has had to buy her baby from a Czech clinic using donor eggs I would say fuck everyone else - just make sure you are the very best mum you can be. Maybe your FWB will learn to 'put something on the end of it' as my dear friend Jeremy Kyle would say.

I know of two people whose mothers denied them the details of their fathers. One was a boy, who when he hit his teenage years decided to physically assault his mother in frustration.

The second is a woman I work with. Her mother refuses to give her her father's name, and won't even tell her the reason why. This woman is very bitter and twisted; she doesn't get on well at all with other women and is very hard to work alongside day after day. She resents her mother and is very snappy and terse with her. She is also overwhelmingly jealous of her brother, who incidentally happens to have a relationship with his father.

So you can see the problems that may arise in the future. It may be ok now, but these kids will become adults one day and they will want answers.

Can I ask international my last question because I can see nothing will change:

Does anyone in real life know what your trying to do?

You feel confident about your choices, but you dont feel comfortable with them.
They make you feel somewhat uncomfortable.

Obviously they are your choices. Well , that is what I started posting, but actually they may well be your presumably ex and your DD's choices/ lifetime result.

I think I get the impression that you are not going to change your mind. But all this will play on your mind. And that may just be enough to make you at least think again.

Can I ask, have you thought anything at all, about what has been said on here about what you are doing?

Slating someone for their posting style is such a low blow imo. I always think it's like someone thinks 'I've had my say, I'm pissed off and now I'll pick on the most ridiculous thing I can think of'

Xxx

Because as you said, you never told your ex you were even pregnant. You've denied your DD the chance to know her dad. I sincerely doubt you have any intention on working for a relationship between future offspring and FWB unless he does exactly what you want. If he wanted to take offspring out with his partner would you object?

Oh no I mean the would be father of the baby I am trying for now.
In regards to my D.D it's always just been me and her. x

You've already said you didn't tell your ex about your current child

I was a single mum myself, I don't know why you assumed it was to do with that. It's the fact you are purposefully depriving your children of something. There are many excellent single parents out there, they do the job because they have to, not because they selfishly want a baby like some stroppy teenager.

Like I have said previously if he wants to be involved he can be if not then it's his loss. x

I'm not slating you for being a single mum. I'm slating you for choosing to be with no thought for the effect on your children. Has it even crossed your mind they might want a dad?

My daughter doesn't go without she is loved beyond imagination. How dare you slate me for being a single mum!

You 100% don't have to. You're making a choice and with that taking the choice away from your FWB and unborn child. You've admitted you've already done the same with your current child. I don't care if you think you're a good mum to the one you have. Good mums think about their children first and themselves second. You certainly are not.

Before all the don't judge a person, you don't know what they've been through rubbish, I don't care if your dog died or you didn't get a pony for Christmas, there's no excuse.

That is your opinion or belief and I have no control over that whatsoever and yes you're fully entitled to your opinions and beliefs, but people (namely me) do what they do because they have to. x

I am already a lone parent and if you will allow me to say it I don't think I've done a bad job. I'm not a perfect parent but who is!. x

Ohbuggarme. I can't argue with that, hey if I'm wrong I'll be women enough to admit it! I know know why I am bothered about being judged I love a good flame. The world would be a lovely place but also a verym boring place if we all agreed with each other.
However all that said I still feel assertive and confident about my choices.x

I'm going to put it out there international, I am judging you. To be so blasé with your FWB's life and your possible unborn child's is shocking. You are morally bankrupt.

ohbuggerme
some kisses are ok

xxx I luff ya xx

You may not agree with what I do and nor do I seek or ask your permission! but my life is not for you to pass judgement. I've never heard of it being stupid to put kisses. I always do after everything. It's just my way.
Thank you for you good luck wishes. Same to you x

Apology accepted. I'd also like to say well done it takes guts to say sorry.xx