We will try anything! The big fat posifrickintivity thread of TTC after MC

fedup my mmc was in feb. extra erpc in march to get rid of retained products. It's been 4 cycles since and a really light AF for all of them. The first one i assumed was light because i'd had a medical mc (with lots and lots and lots of bleeding due to something being stuck on my cervix - sorry tmi), followed by extra erpc so had been bleeding for pretty much 6 weeks of the previous 8. But they've all been the same since so that's obviously not the reason.

don't worry fedup I completely understand that rage!

welcome badhair what a horrific experience. What an awful christmas you must have had.

Welcome Badhairdays - really sorry you find yourself here for obvious reasons but welcome.

Aly - I had the same fear too - my AF's have been totally different since the mc, a lot more painful, although they are heavier rather than lighter,but I think it's just different for everyone. So long as they are coming on time and lasting as long as they should, I figured it must just be normal.

Clearly I'm having a very desperate day, I opened up a new packet of digestives and ate several! Had to fight myself to put them back in the cupboard, I wouldnt mind only I've been doing well with weight loss, 7lbs in just over 2 weeks. Hopefully feling fat will take my mind off feeling so broody. grrr

Thanks for the welcome GuffSmuggler. Good name btw. My badhairday moniker comes from the fact that my once super curly hair has gone straight after the two pregnancy losses. Has this happened to anybody else? My hairdresser says it due to hormones and will come back again. It's v weird...

Hello everybody - may I please join you? I've been reading through all of your threads and you are so supportive of each other on this board and I could do with some of your positivity!

My story: am 37 with one DS who is 15 months old. He was conceived without trying after missing a pill with my then very new boyfriend. A huge shock, but the best thing that's ever happened to me. I then also conceived without trying back in October. In all honesty, I wasn't best pleased because found out just before we were due to fly to Melbourne to see my DP's family. Anyway, we had a scan and I was estimated to be 6 weeks pregnant and they saw a foetal sac but no foetal pole. 3 days after arriving in Oz I started to bleed heavily and assumed I was having a miscarriage. Four days after that I was in excruciating pain and nearly passed out. I was rushed into A and E on Christmas Eve where they found the pregnancy to be ectopic, my left tube had ruptured and was bleeding internally. Anyway, I lost the tube and the pregnancy and was told I was lucky to be alive. Did not feel bloody lucky though! Over - my heart goes out to you having just suffered an ectopic - horrendous experience, but it does get easier. Physically I have been absolutely fine after the laparoscopy - fingers crossed you will be too. Virtual hugs to you (((((. )))))

I've been trying desperately to get pregnant ever since and had a miscarriage at Easter. Since then.. nothing.... I too am horrendously fed up of people asking me if/when I'm going to have another child and could literally strangle the fools who say I just need 'to relax'. Anyway, I used ovulation sticks for the first time this month and ovulated over the weekend so am now in the dreaded 2ww. TTC has ruined my sex life - after shagging like crazy for the past week I now can't be bothered to do it outside the so-called 'fertile time'. Am hoping I'm a 'one tubed wonder' and this will be my lucky month but not holding out much hope to be honest cos think I ovved off my tubeless side. Such a waste! Am so happy for all the ladies who have got their BFPs already though - hope this is our lucky month!

Well me and DH are getting into the shagging week. Typically I'm supposed to be going out 3 nights out of the 4 (this never happens at any other time of the month I swear). But I might sack one of the nights off, supposed to be going out with a group of 4 friends but one has pulled out meaning it would only be me, one of my best friends and a friend of hers who I really really don't like (she's a proper earth mother type and has just had her second - I imagine the labour went beautifully and she just sneezed and it came out), so I'm thinking of excuses for that one.

We have been trying since the MC at the start of February. I got PG accidentally. My youngest is 14.

Ps I'm not really violent or that would put me in the same bad box as those parents who shouldn't be parents. But I'm sure you will all share my feelings when you get asked why you arent up the duff or told to relax or some other really wise and insightful tip.

My work takes me to a lot of places where you see parents who really shouldn't be parents. I get both sad and very angry at the same time. Sad for the children who unjustly have those parents and also sad for me as I so badly want to have another. Angry with those parents for who they are and what they represent and angry with life for being so unfair.

Aly - how long ago was your mc? Mine too were really light afterwards, but very painful. Was petrified I had some sort of scarring or something stuck that wasn't letting the blood flow. 4 cycles on and it seems to be getting a bit back to normal - still not very heavy but more than it was.

There are so many people close to receiving my fist in their face when asking stupid questions like that receptionist / or those having an opinion on what they know nothing about. Shock tactics are sometimes the way forward I agree and mean I won't get arrested and charged for GBH.

I'm in the 2 ww as of tomorrow. God help me and those around me - crazy woman on the loose.

I was one of those women too. 1 DD without trying, 1 MC (also pg without trying), but now....

I'm suspicious that something in my body still isn't right after the mc.
My periods have been so light since. The fact that so many of the rest of you talk about super heavy AFs makes me wonder if something is still stuck in there???

Sun- I often wonder how one night stands manage it, drug addicts, alcoholics, blinking parents that shouldn't be parents and loose there children into the fostering /adoption system. All seems mighty unfair
Holiday sounds like a good idea!!
Saggy - I guess you wonder more why now?
Oh please please please give us all a bfp this cycle! Xx

The sad thing is, I used to be one of those women! I had 2dcs without even trying!

Thanks dildoos. Think I'm going to wait until after my holiday to see gp, that gives me one and a half more cycles before trying anything different. 6 months post mc would take me to October but I'm in a fortunate enough position to afford at least one round of IVF privately if it came to it.

I know I can get pregnant, though there were no examinations into why I mc or if there's any damage down there I need to be aware of. I know these roads are long ones hence why I'm thinking I should start looking into it now and if there is a hefty nhs waiting list I'd rather get to the back of the queue now!

Bloody hell, why can't I just be one of those women who get knocked up after one shag like they do on telly!

Ooh sal I LIKE your style girl.
Also saggy I like the final line of your hypothetical response too. So bitchy. love it.

Well... The 2WW starts here. I'm about to drag my lazy carcass out of bed and face up to the world. Here's hoping for AF to fuck the fuck off....

Abundance? I mean sun dance blooming phone x

Abundance, I am a year older but have been blessed with dd 5 years ago, I tried 3 years for her. Have you been togp ? I know that in our area Norfolk you receive 3 Ivf attempts on nhs if neither yourself or dh have children of your own. I do believe at 31 you need to have been trying 6-12 with no miscarriages in that time either as sadly this is classed as a pregnancy
We do not qualify for Ivf on nhs as I am blessed with dd however my dp has no blood related child ( although the best daddy in the world might I add) so this is why we are in a position to dictate when where what time frame bla bla bla but at a hefty old cost.
If you can get in waiting list my personal opinion is do sooner rather than later as rules and regulations on this seem to change all the time!

Good luck with your choice , we are all here to support you xxx

Pull yourself together woman!

Stupid receptionist!
I'd have replied "there! That's the answer! And there was me worried about scarring in my tubes, early menopause, not ovulating and DP being infertile! Where did you say you studied reproductive medicine?" And made a face like this:

Sal - haha, I will definitely give that a try next time, and I'm sure there will be a next time. My DH's best mate is a rather bullish, straight talking type and he's coming for a visit at the weekend, he always asks me if I'm "Up the duff yet"...though I've warned the dh that there will be trouble this time if he asks again.

I'm becoming too obsessive today, no doubt because of my meltdown last night, but have been looking into the rules of IVF etc this morning. I know I'm being irrational but can't help it. I'll be 32 this year and don't have any children yet so feel like we really need to get a crack on.

Sorry to hear about all your awful times, people really do not think at times!
But sal I may take the bimbos approach and not doing anything but relax and when I am pregnant I will call him Jesus the miracle child!!! What a stupid wench!!
Grrrrrr grrrrrrr grrrrrrr
Something tells me I am suffering a little rage today
However guff I have everything crossed for you!
Been to gp with my rage today I think they wished I hadn't! However they are now going to refer me for exploration for my heavy periods and my 3 mcs! Also I am booked back in to see Bourn clinic on a private basis but I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed a baby just like you ladies so I would rather keep to our small home and have an old banger as feel happiness would be money well spent!!
So now off to buy Tins of beans for the month!
Trump trump trump sorry maybe the beans!
I appear to have lost the plot
Xxx

Ps Sal - great response.
'just relax and it will happen' is the most irritating piece of advice in this whole process. I makes me want to be v rude to the person who bestows this insight.

Oh Sundance what a ridiculous question. People are so odd and insensitive. I'm contemplating acupuncture this month... Wondering if it might help relax me too.

Over.... I'm so sorry for what's happened. It's just such a horrible thing to have go go through. I'm so amazed by how brave and stoical you are. It's v inspiring.

Back from a few days in Wales walking. Operation shag starts now. Think we are going for every other day for 14 days on advice of the doctor. But trying to land dtd on day of ovulation. Oh the maths. SMEP didn't work last month and just made us tired and stressed. So here goes. Hope everyone else doing ok.

Rockchick - great news for you. So pleased.

I was chatting to the 20 yr old receptionist at work and she asked if we had decided to not have children (I'm 35yrs not fricking 55yrs), I just said "I've had two miscarriages actually so its not as been as easy for us", thinking that would shut her up, she then went on to tell me that we "should relax and it would happen"......

I replied (in my most lovely friendly patronising voice):
"Darling, you'll understand when you're a little but older that relaxing isn't really what gets you pregnant. You actually need to work out when you're ovulating so that you can time intercourse so the sperm fertilises the egg. How wonderful it would be if we just need to have a little relax to get pregnant!, Thank you for your advice though."

Stupid little bimbo.