We will try anything! The big fat posifrickintivity thread of TTC after MC

Overanxious - do get your doc to do a blood test. I think your hgc levels will be really low by now, which will make you feel better. And those three scars on your abdomen will heal quickly which will make you feel better too. I've just been re-examining mine in the mirror. My belly button used to look like an upside-down penis after the operation - I kid you not! - but it looks fine now. Better than it did before cos it was all saggy after having my DS - I guess we get free belly button lifts as well! Am not trying to be flippant, btw, just make you feel better. And we all agree that miscarriages, ectopics and all pregnancy losses are TOTALLY FCKING SHIT. As Misspositivity* just said, just look at your beautiful little girl and keep your chin up, Missus x

Just checking in to see the POAS results - bummer for all those BFNs. Fingers crossed for next month.

Massive congratulations guff, but you know what's coming... Well worth it though!

over, stay with us here, we'll talk to you lots (mostly nonsense probably). Did you know that there has been some research that shows you can still get pregnant from an egg from the ovary with the tube cut? Sounds weird but there is scientific research that proves it, take a look at the ectopic pregnancy support trust website if you want to read the paper. So try not to upset yourself too much about missing a month from the "good" side.

No POAS or DTD for me today as AF is still here. On the plus side, I've finally been discharged from the hospital as this week's blood test was a negative. No more being stabbed with needles, yay!

over. You poor thing. Firstly there is no need to apologise for "self obsessed rant". You are free to say what ever you are feeling here and I know everyone will just want to support you.
You have so many hormones and grief on top it's no wonder you are having a wobble.
Someone said to me the other day (about another topic) "time heals almost everything you just have to give time some time" I thought so true though easier said than done.
None of us know what the future holds and all we have is hope that it will work out the way we want it and if it dosen't then at some point we will accept it and learn the joy of life with what we have. I hope!!
I hope you get some answers at GPs. Just remember what your feeling is normal. Big hugs. Go and look at your daughter sleeping and remember you are her world you carried her and you are amazing.

onelittletoddleterror - I wouldn't wish it on anyone either. I went to A&E as I just couldn't cope with the pain anymore, it was bloody horrendous & constant. Lucky I went when I did too as I started gushing as soon as I got there. The docs thought I might have a bit stuck in my cervix but couldn't get a look because of the blood loss. Anyway morphine & buscopan sorted me out & I passed it without pain later that day. Except it didn't all come out hence the erpc. Glad that ordeal is all over, definitely not one I wish to repeat.

Its sad to hear so many of us seem to have gone through similar, but I'm glad we have each other for support that its hard to find irl from people who mean well but can't possibly understand bc it hasn't happened to them.

overanxious - I think its normal to feel like things are pretty shit after what we've just been through. I had a pre-booked course last night & arrived to find I'd been placed on the same table & opposite a heavily pregnant girl. That was hard. Then today I spoke to an old friend who lives overseas, & she asked me 'when u gonna pop another one out? surely it'll be sometime soon?' without knowing just how long we've been trying or what has just happened. I gulped & changed the subject as I couldn't face saying it out loud & I knew she'd be mortified if I did.

I'm totally with you re the thoughts that the only thing that'll make you feel better is to be pregnant again. I can't imagine how hard it must be dealing with the extra issues that ectopic throws up too, so I think you have every right to feel the way you do.

Which leads me to how I'm feeling. Physically, I'm recovering & bleeding is slowing up. Had a teary day yesterday but feeling more optimistic today. I'm absolutely terrified of this happening again, but my desire for another baby outweighs the fear, so I think I'd like to get started as soon as bleeding has stopped.

Overanxious! I have just seen your post. You poor thing. I TOTALLY get how you are feeling and wanted to give you a huge virtual hug. I also know what you mean about nobody posting on the Ectopic Board which makes you feel more shit. I had a crappy day today as well and had to explain to a colleague exactly what an Ectopic Pregnancy was. He then said 'Oh, I didn't realise. I just thought you were being dramatic' and I could have punched him. Suffering an ectopic is HORRENDOUS and I think you have done brilliantly to have only had one good cry. I still have a good cry most months. I also know exactly what you mean about nobody really saying anything to you about conceiving again and believe that the truth is that although ectopics are becoming more common, they are still rare enough for alot of medical professionals to know very little about them. It's also tough for us cos there aren't many people in 'real life' who can sympathise cos they haven't been through it. I was told that I was 'lucky' they operated in time because my tube had already ruptured and I was bleeding out, but the loss you feel is a double whammy cos we've lost part of our fertility, along with our much wanted babies.

I felt ALOT better after seeing my GP. He reckons I probably got the Ectopic as a result of scarring from my C Section but they are alot more common if you've had any abdominal surgery, which made me feel better for having some kind if explanation. He also told me that I should wait for my first proper period after the op, then could try again. They say 3 months for definite if you've been treated with methoxdrate (that isn't the correct spelling, but the drug they use if they don't remove a tube) but the main reason they say 3 months is for you to recover emotionally. I bet your doc will say the same thing. remember that until v recently they used to say the same thing for a miscarriage.

I felt exactly the same as you. I wanted to start trying STRAIGHT AWAY - and I think that feeling is natural. I felt better once my first period was out of the way and, unlike some if the ladies on here, they came back exactly the same as before. I actually got pregnant again quite quickly but that resulted in miscarriage. I was really upset but (and I really hope this doesn't offend any if the lovely ladies on here) a tiny part of me was relieved that my other tube clearly 'worked' and that I could fall pregnant again. I've also been massively cheered by the news that according to a 10 year study of pregnancies in one tubed ladies, that 30% of those pregnancies are as a result of ovulation from the tubeless side. So there is hope for us.

Remember you are still recovering physically and you WILL feel better once those scars start to fade. I definitely did.

Feel free to message me personally if you like. And I do hope you feel better soon. Lots and lots of love and support to you, Lady xxxxxx

Sorry for all the BFNs - it's so gutting! I am waiting until next Friday to POAS. I have had dreadful stomach bug this week and managed to convince myself it must be aggressive early morning sickness, but have since realised it was probably the norovirus. Grrrrrr.... Hope everybody has good weekends. X

Guff - Congratulations, great news.

I am not having a great day today (I suppose I am only 10 days post operation) but I feel so emotional, I could just cry. I think it started off with a scan picture announcement on facebook due the same month I would have been...hit me like a bus, and I don't normally care about things like that/doesn't usually bother me. I have only cried once since coming out of hospital, a few nights ago...I just sobbed and sobbed - you know the kind of crying where you are just loud/can't catch your breath. It felt good, I needed it.

I feel like I am having irrational thoughts - but I don't know if I am just going through the normal notions. Maybe some of you can enlighten me/tell me you feel the same...for example: I feel like life is shit. The only thing that will make it better is being pregnant again and having a healthy baby. But this is so selfish of me, because deep down I know life is not 'shit' I have a beautiful DD who I am so grateful for, so why am I so desperate to have another baby so much? Why do I feel so 'depressed'? I feel bad for feeling like this, but I feel like my only cure is pregnancy.

Moving on to my next point...I want to be pregnant, now. ASAP. I don't want to wait 3 months, 2 periods, whatever...I don't want to wait at all. I want to TTC immediately, as soon as I feel fit and well, and the hcg is out of my system. But deep down I know I need to let my body recover, and waiting does have it's benefits. But then I think...I only have one tube. What if the month I wait is the month my 'good side' releases an egg and I miss it! Plus...no one has actually told me anything about trying again. Not one medical professional has spoken to me on this matter. I am only going by what I have read on the internet. I am hoping to see the GP on Weds to answer a few questions.

I'm sorry for the self obsessed rant, but I just needed to tell someone, anyone. I know you all understand. I have posted on the 'Ectopic Support Thread' (2 days ago, still watching as the tumbleweed rolls past) so I'd prefer to stick with you ladies, plenty of chat to keep up with!

I just want to TTC again, so I feel I have that 'hope' every month. But I can't even do that yet my hcg levels were 31000 2 weeks ago, so I think it's going to take a long time to get back to zero. (Then I feel bad for wanting to TTC again already...sigh...)

Hope everyone is doing okay. xx

Ah, shit, sundance. I'm glad I have no tests left in the house or I might be joining you. Used them all up randomly checking last pregnancy.

Feeling a bit shaky today, but that isn't unusual for me pre-AF. Just obsessively symptom spotting...

Good luck with the SWIing squiggly. Hope you get ovulation over and done with over the weekend, so you can avoid those awkward questions from sleepy DD!

Well no POAS for me for a couple of weeks now, and even then I may have to wait a week as I'm on holiday for a couple of weeks. I hope there's lots of BFPs in my absence. This weekend we're hopefully properly into the DTD, we managed a 4.00 am shag on Thursday morning after our row on Wednesday night! Today I've noticed some EWCM and I'm 12 days in so I'm hoping that OPK will be positive today or tomorrow and we'll need to get some shagging in this weekend as from Monday we'll be crammed into some tiny hotel room with DD aged 2.7 (and there's no way I'm doing it while she's in the room!).

oh boo, emki and sundance as well

It's all guff's fault. if she'd only waited til friday we could have had one bfp to cheer us all up.

rainbow i like your evil plan of not telling DH that you're officially ttc. ignorance is bliss...

Thanks for all your kind words :)

I didn't poas today as pretty sure af us nearly here but if it hasn't arrived will test tomorrow (hopefully that will just count as delayed Friday poas so I won't get any fish slaps!) will be 16dpo tmrw.

Sorry emki cam subdance hope you do something nice to forget about it.

Morning all. Sorry for the bfns. They suck. We seriously need someone to lead the way in opening the floodgates in here. guff I hope that is you and rock!

No news here bum on cd12/13 (can't really decide) and haven't been well so no dtd yet. (I know I know). Hoping to put that right BIG STYLE over the weekend which I hope will correspond with a positive opk too.

Bit of a wasted test for me today, though I've become addicted to peeing on sticks so took the Friday challenge anyway - BFN.
AF due over the weekend - just wish it would hurry up and get lost again.

Good luck to anyone else trying today though. FX

Sorry can and emki. Bah!

I am resisting POAS as there are none in the house AF isn't really due until possibly Tuesday. Dammit, I wish my LP wasn't so damn variable. My temps are still just normal post-ovulation levels, no significant 'pregnancy' rise like last time, so I think the old witch will be here sooner or later. Hate this waiting though.

Thanks folks. Sorry you're with me Emki, stupid BFNs.

Am quite gutted because have had aching breasts and fatigue for the last week which I'd deluded self into thinking might mean I was in with a chance despite the fact that I've also had aching elbows, a symptom even I couldn't manage to attribute to a possible pregnancy! Will buy some tampons and get ready to welcome AF.

Just had a quick scan of the thread, massive congrats guff. Fab news.

Anyone else testing today?

Bfn here too! AF arrived too - why do I neverbjustvwsitvdo I could save some money!!!
Pretty gutted but there's always next month!!! Xxx hope all ok - might just lurk for a bit as really fed up and need to take my mind off ttc for a bit xxx hope you all have good weekends xxx

boooooo! cam

kat your DH deserves a medal.

Oh thats rubbish Cam sorry.

Oh bugger cam I'm sorry. ? Maybe too early. Gin?

Oh POO, Cam!

I've poas today. Bfn at 14dpo. Stomp stomp stomp. TFIF.

Welcome to newbies but sorry for all the sadness you've been through to find yourself here.

Xx

Friday 5 July, so I'll be POASing next Friday unless AF makes an appearance before then!

missp I think that sounds like a good plan - every other day should definitely be enough given the time sperm live for. Interesting that acupuncture might be affecting you like that! - although v confusing.