I get knocked down, but I'll get knocked up again, cos you're never gonna keep me down... The big fat posifrickintivity thread for people TTC after MC.

It's a very common error if they contaminated the serum sample with EDTA (anticoagulant from the haematology tube). They filled the tubes in the wrong order. Don't fret.

Hello to new guys. I have just joined myself - sorry we all have to meet like this

Well bit of an update - had a routine blood check last week and have been called back to get more tomorrow (blood tests was only thing they could check until i have a 3rd miscarriage). It appears I have high potassium - not sure if this can cause miscarriages - possibly clutching at straws. Anybody any ideas???

Oh FFS, had 2 days clear after a week of AF and it's come back again tonight, what is going on!?

I feel the same saggy I'm just finishing up on AF and wondering when ill OV - feel a bit low too and really thought I'd be pleased to be moving on but all I see is a huge mountain to climb!!!! Again!!!!

Ooh aly well done - lots of things... I don't have anything yet ... I'm hoping to do a yoga DVD when dd gone to bed but not exactly looking forward to it ...... Think ill book a massage for Friday after work - yes I will! Anyone else doing something fun this week?

Welcome mrs finch and other new people, hope you're not here for long xxx

welcome mrsfinch: hopefully this will be the only time you're hunting for a bfn - at every other time you'll be disappointed, so you need to be a little bit pleased this time... it let's you know that you really do have a nice new house for a new little embryo to make its home in.

I was actually very happy with my first bfn post mmc. had a few dramas and in the end it was about 6 weeks after my first medical management that I FINALLY got a negative. I even danced a little jig. The hundreds four bfps i got post-mc, but before that bfn did NOT make me happy

emki good reminder re nice things. What is yours?
Mine is that I've got a date night with DH tonight and am going to the movies. and on saturday we leave for 2 weeks holiday in the sun, yeehah!

rockchick, I'm glad AF is on the way out for you.
guff I am limbering up

I have already calculated potential EDDs if I get pg this cycle or next. Trying to convince myself that if we miss out this cycle, next will be OK too - it's either the beginning or end of Feb: same month, so it's basically the same, right?? emki i will be in floods of tears too if it doesn't work this month

PS Re. iron. Don't take your iron tablet with a cup of tea as that inhibits absorption. Try taking it with a glass of orange juice, as the Vitamin C aids Fe uptake.

Hi all, room for a little one?

I had a MMC last month. Baby died at 11+4; medically managed MC on 26th April. Now name changed, and dusting myself off and ready to try again. Two DC already.

I'm building myself up to take a HPT to make sure it is negative. Feeling a bit blue about it all really, although a negative is a good thing, right?

And then hoping to convince DH to get back on that horse so to speak

Hello all and sorry to see newbies but this is a great thread for sorting your head out

In reply to the person who is waiting for their first AF after erpc mine came after 10 1/2 weeks - I asked to go for a scan at 8/9 weeks and thAt helped as they could see I just OV so I knew that AF would be on its way.

So this will be my first month of ttc since mc - eeek!! Trying to not get anxious - was in this place a few months ago after my first mc but I do feel more relaxed a tiny weeny bit.... Ish .... Hoping for the best for all of us this month but trying to convince myself that its ok if it doesn't happen this month however it does matter and ill be in floods of tears

What nice things have people got planned this week??? We didn't post on Sunday so wondering if we should do it now....??? .. Xxxx

alyant yes that was my plan, see what happens this month and then get a bit more technical next month. Ok, I think I'm going to stick with that (no pun intended).

There is going to be a lot of shagging over the next couple of weeks, I think a few of us are coming up to our fertile window.

EVERYBODY WARM UP!!!

Hi all, I've been loitering around since my MMC last month but AF has been and (nearly) gone so I'm here properly now if you'll have me?

Guff I think I'm going to use OPK's this month just to check I'm ovulating etc, I've got some cheapies though as I don't want to spend a fortune! Used them for the first time the month I fell pregnant and learned I ovulated much later than I thought so they can be beneficial but I can see how easy it would be to get obsessive with them :)

guff that's my plan - i think my "fertility window" will be approx wed to wed (ov on saturday maybe), so we're going to attempt to dtd every 2 days (or more if we feel like it) and see if it works.

if it doesn't work this month i might get some sticks though.

It's enough to drive you crazy this 'am I, aren't I' bit, am not looking forward to that part.

Hope it's good news 'corina' but I know it's awful the not knowing bit.

Morning everyone,

Couple of days post AF and I'm itching to buy some OV sticks, haven't used them before and was trying to be "cool" about the whole TTC thing and make sure we DTD every couple of days in the approx OV timeframe which start this Thurs.

Rapidly not being cool though. Shall I just buy some sticks? Hmmmm

Hope you're feeling a bit better today Fod x

fod I've just tuned in after a couple of days off... I'm SO sorry that you're having such a rough, terrible time of it. I don't have any suggestions, but someone else said that maybe counselling might be a good idea? Sounds good to me.
I just want to add that I also feel like my DH doesn't really have a clue how I'm feeling. I try to tell him, and I've also told him that the fact that he seems completely fine and not sad at all make me feel like he's a complete and utter bastard being uncaring. I still don't think he really gets it. But how can he? It's not his body, not his hormones.
So in summary - can you give your DP another chance? It seems to be a common theme that they just don't understand, and perhaps we shouldn't expect them too. On the other hand, even if they don't really understand what we're going through they should still be able to offer a shoulder to cry on. It's the least they can do.

Welcome newbies

Just wanted to add some ((HUGS)) for fod and say that any one of the three heaps of crap you are dealing with at the moment would be enough to knock you way out of kilter, so with all three on your plate you must be really struggling. There is no shame in getting some outside help if you are not getting what you need from family.
Is there any news on your tests? How long do you have to wait for results?

fod I just think I'm going a bit bonkers. I know I'm setting myself up for a fall and so I've not got any tests in the house deliberately cos that way utter madness lies. I'll fairly sure I'll start AF today and I've just managed to convince myself to be sick!

And yet, I feel really really sick. I'm telling myself in the day that I've just eaten too much, but that doesn't work for right now...

Its far too early in the morning to be this far down a theoretical cul de sac... I'm annoyed with myself for getting in this position - "the test said negative, now just drop it" is what I'm saying loudly. No obsessing was part of my deal with myself for ttc.

You take care of yourself x

Fod really sad to hear you are having such a crap time. I honestly think (whether we like it or not) it is different for men. Ultimately, and although logically I know this is wrong, I see the MC's as my failure i.e it was my body that was responsible for looking after the bean and it failed. I don't think men can even come close to feeling that (let's face it most think they have super sperm!). Also I don't think someone who has no physical experience of the hormonal shite that we go through (like the cycles after mc where we are hyper tuned into our bodies and think that the tingles and twinges are pregnancy when they are AF symptoms) can be on the same wave length as us in relation to MC and it's after effects. Yes they go through it as well emotionally but physically they don't and physically they don't go through the TTC mill either. Bit waffle but I think what I'm trying to say is try not to give up on him or the situation there are some things men just won't be able to understand as they will never experience it themselves, and if you can speak to a support group in RL then do. You are going through a whole load of shite at the moment with MC and your brother's illness, you are only human, ask for help in the RW. X

conina I felt the same last cycle, thought I was pregnant for sure, bought the easy tests and the late tests, but it wasn't to be I could have kicked myself for getting my hopes up as whenAF arrived it totally devastated me ;(

I hope it's not a similar experience tho as I'd love to just lurk here and see lots and lots of BFPs

Fod I'm sorry things are crap right now. I wish I had something more insightful n helpful to say to you x I do know from bitter experience two things. Firstly, many people will say absolutely the wrong thing when talking about mc. If I'm kind, I'll try to believe its simply an inability to empathise. Secondly - for me - my dp, no matter how much I love him and no matter how sweet n kind he is on many things - for me my dp is not the right person for me to talk to about my mc.

I'm new. Can I join? One dc, aged 2.9. Two mc. 1 at 7-8 wks last April, 1 at 11 wks at Christmas, MMC.l

Currently on day 29 / 30 of a 29-30 day cycle. Been feeling a few pg symptoms - nausea, sore chest, heartburn but also had cramping this afternoon. POAS yesterday and it was negative. Just thrown up though? I had HG when I was pg with dc, and thrown up early with all the pg... Actually - it's doing my head in. Properly feeling nauseous, even when I'm hungry, can't stand smells. If we were in an age without pregnancy tests, I would proclaim I'm pg but the test says no... With the 2 mc, it took a while for the second stripe to show and I'm just worried I'm there again. How daft - I can't even prove I'm pg (and with this cramping, I would normally state with the same level of conviction that I'll be entertaining AF tomorrow) and yet I'm worrying I'll mc?

I should just sleep and enjoy my dose of norovirus right

Thanks for your support guys, what hurts the most is the fact that we should be pulling together and even after all was said and done yesterday he'd sooner let us row over anything and let me walk out tham talk to me, it is a very lonely place to be ;,( I may look into counselling as I've had to be so strong and put a face on everything, with my brothers cancer, my tests and loosing the baby

Hey to MissPositivity and Nearly. Sorry for your losses and for the fact you have to be here, but hope you settle into the thread and find it supportive.

Fod, so sorry to hear you're having such a tough time of it at the moment. On my nhs miscarriage leaflet (that I got about 60 copies of as people kept giving it to me every chance they got!) there was a number of a local counsellor attached to the hospital who I could call if I needed to talk. Any chance there is a similar service near you? Otherwise contacting the miscarriage association (as I think someone's already said) sounds like a good bet.. Getting more RL support sounds a idea, but please stick around here if you can and want to (or maybe you could start another thread and direct us to it if you don't want to post on this thread specifically).

This whole thing is just shit. I do think men find it shit too though, and haven't necessarily gotten over it easily just because some appear to have done so. I think some of them (and some women, not generalising) do put bad feelings/experiences in a little box (as someone said) and try to forget about it, and then feel vulnerable and upset when something happens which reminds them the box is there or even (god forbid) makes them open it (such as partner wanting to talk about it), so resist it/deny feelings; not because they don't care, but because they do. That's how I've understood some of my DHs past idiocy anyway! I hope that makes sense.

Lots of hugs to anyone needing themxx

fod totally agree with bakingtins these men are built differently. They generally are very good at putting these things in boxes and not thinking about it again. Even though I think I have a fantastic relationship with my DP I have to be honest the 2 mc's are the most lonely thing I have ever felt, the 2nd more so than the 1st. It's either people think u should be used to it by now or don't know what to say. Hoping the sadness will pass in time. Keep the chin up.

bakingtins your right it is sh*t. But we are going to make it!!!! Sorry for your losses.