I get knocked down, but I'll get knocked up again, cos you're never gonna keep me down... The big fat posifrickintivity thread for people TTC after MC.

((HUGS)) for flower. It is all a bit much sometimes. I did EDD in April without being pregnant again, had another MC in the meantime and it was hard, but you will get through it if it comes to that.
Plan some fab things to do over the summer that depend on you not being pregnant. Sods law you'll have to cancel them for all the right reasons!

Morning all!

Sorry chips!
Could with some posifrickintivity if anyone has any spare! On cd14 no sign of ov yet so now I'm stressing that this cycle will last forever without me being on clomid! I've only got until next month to get pregnant so that I can be pregnant on what should have been edd and its looking more and more unlikely :( I know cd14 is still not too late not to have had positive opk.

I was on the verge of tears on my walk to work yesterday I just feel like its never going to happen and given i have no other children it feels like my life is just on hold.

Right sorry just need to get it off my chest and it helps to write on here!

Are there many people poas tomorrow? We need some good news :)

Hello all

Been reading the thread at work all day and been wanting to comment on so much! I feel that I talk about my mcs and ttc a lot less now because I'm on here - after my first mc at 20 weeks last year I felt so alone and my husband got the brunt of it and ttc was a nightmare- I was so stressed which stressed him out. I made the decision to not talk to him anymore about it - which was frigging hard! Then I asked him if he wanted to know when I was OV and he said yes, but this all took a couple of months for us to sort ourselves out - its so difficult.

Now we're doing again, after the second mc - and he is away!! GREAT!!! However hoping that I'll OV end of next week (if my cycle is back on track - which it probably won't be as this is my first since ERPC). mrsf maybe try to not talk to him about it for a bit - I found it hard as it was and is really the only thing I think about when I'm not working - it will happen but some men can just feel so much pressure that they just completely back off. Perhaps if the subject doesn't come up for a couple of days he'll relax a little and then do as tins & oltt and saggy suggested.

chips are you POA OPK?

guff pleased for you that AF has left the building - hoping she's gone for a while for you xxx

Day 6 of AF now .... grrr glad it came but it can go away now ... I'm going to POAS from the 10th day of cycle - does that sound about right?

saggy there is never TMI on this thread, especially posifrickingtivity news like ewcm. You are a brave woman to look at the grduate thread. I am definitely not ready for it yet. I can't even face the ttc buses. I feel safer here with people who can understand how hard it is to keep it together and act as normal as possible.

mrsf I also think your DH is still grieving. Your mmc is so recent. It is recommended not to actively try again until both of you feel emotionally ready. Like saggy I wonder if your DH would be happy to just shag but without protection. Basically take the pressure off and see what happens for a few cycles. It is a lot of pressure to perform at the right time.

Mrs F is that "needs some time" using contraception, or "needs some time" not trying, not preventing? Quite a lot of us have found that our DHs have found the pressure to (ahem) perform on demand, difficult. If it wouldn't be a disaster from his point of view if you fell pregnant you can always just not tell him it's the fertile window.

Sorry chips

Couldn't even wait until Friday, well that was £7 wasted :(

Yay for your EWCM, saggy. Bung some of that posifrickinivity my way when you get a minute.

Having a bad day today. POAS and got the good negative (following MMC on 26th April). Spoke to DH who now 'needs some time' before TTC.

I am furious and upset. This isn't because we lost the baby, it's because he finds TTC very stressful. Apparently lots of sex when not TTC is not a problem, but lots of sex when TTC is [hmmm]

Really fuming. It seems like he has made the decision for both of us. There is no compromise to be had is there?

The only thing that is getting me out of bed these days is the hope of getting pregnant again, and I feel like he's taken that away. But I feel unreasonable too. I can hardly force him. So that's that.

Bastard.

Right 'extra' AF seems to have left the building and hoping my stupid body starts getting ready to OV now.

Sounding good for you saggy I suggest you start limbering up with the rest of us.

chips deffo POAS Friday, why not!?

go saggy and OLTT!

chips what else is POAS friday for?? POAS away, merrily...

littlemiss i'm sorry about your Gran. Do try and not let it get you down too much.

rockchick and OLTT I thought that I would be the same as you guys - when I first got pg I tried very hard not to get too excited, and kept reminding myself that the rates of miscarriage are so high but as soon as my tummy started getting big i let myself think that it would all be ok. Despite that mental preparation I wasn't expecting the hormonal crash immediately afterwards, and surprised myself by how upset I was am. But I keep it to myself: DH and one friend are the only one who really know. According to everyone else I'm perfectly fine

OLTT good point, although I'd be tempted to use the First Response test I have in the cupboard, not the cheapo as that's the only test that gave me a positive last time.

Rockchick yes, I tested about a week after and it was negative. My levels never got particularly high, the blood tests I had peaked at about 400 and they told me they wouldn't do a vaginal scan unless it was 1000.

OLTT I'm very much like you - from the outside it looks like DH has taken the miscarriage far worse than I did. I can put on a brave face, get on with normal life, shut off the thoughts about my loss. DH wears his heart on his sleeve and will freely admit that he's struggling. It's only once a week or so DH has to deal with all my shut-off emotions exploding where we have tears, anger, the whole works! Once I've let the feelings out I'm fine again for a while :)

Chips I had a MMC and ERPC was 10/4, I've just had my first AF since so definitely worth you POAS on Friday. Have you had a negative test since the miscarriage to make sure your hormones are back to normal?

chips no reason at all if you have internet cheapies. The only thing you could lose out on is money, isn't it?

Can anyone give me a reason why I should/shouldn't POAS on Friday? I MC'd 11/04, bled for 10 days and haven't been using OPKs so no idea if I ovulated but the temptation to to test is overwhelming.

I have a busy weekend and just caught up with the updates.

fod I'm so sorry to hear you had a tough time. Hope you are feeling better now and getting some support in RL. Most men can express their feelings very different from most women. I use most, because I'm a very logical person and in that respect I'm more 'male'. (And probably why I did science and work as an engineer). Anyway, what I'm saying is that I'm very good at compartmentalising my feelings. I went back straight to work after the MCs and had no problem putting on a brave and smily face. I can totally forget about it if I'm kept busy at work. However, I know I'm still mourning because I cry everytime I'm reminded of babies, or seeing siblings play together. Or even seeing DD playing by herself and how lovely it would be if she had a sister to play with. They bring back the feelings I've stashed away. I'm more prone to tears because socially I don't have to inhibit my feelings as a female. Men however have been conditioned their whole life not to cry.

To all the other new joiners. I'm so sorry you find yourself here.

As for me, I'm still on cycle 0, but have been charting and doing ewcm. I am seeing a dip in bbt this morning so I think I might be close to ovulation day. We BDed last night, and hopefully again tomorrow night. Either way, I will be happy for both AF or BFP this cycle. I'll just be relieved things are going back to normal.

Just checking in to the new thread. AF due on Friday - trying not to get my hopes up too much again this month (although this is the first month since MC in October that the OPKs have registered any kind of ovulation, so this is at least positive even if its a BFN at the weekend).

Sorry to hear that it's been a bit turbulent for peeps this last week. I have to say that my other half has been amazing throughout, even though at the start I got very upset at how quickly I felt like he'd got over it. I kind of made myself accept that it just wasn't the same for him, and have tried to appreciate all the support he's given in other ways instead. As others have said, it can't possibly be the same for the men - that's what I come on here for, to lurk and occasionally post and get that support from people who DO completely get it :). Thank god for the Internet!

After months of feeling rubbish, finally felt like I'd come out of the other side the last few weeks. Unfortunately my Gran died at the weekend and now I'm having to try very hard to stay positive and not let it drag me back into the spiral of stress/depression that I'd been in since October. I suspect that this was why it took so long for me to start ovulating again so don't want to go backwards now :(

Thanks bakingtins. Yes just spoke to my friend who is obs/gynae consultant she said the same and expects next test will be fine.

I think she finds it amusing that I have a different thought each week as to why I have miscarried twice. "my immune system is murdering my pregnancies" was probably my most random reasons.

saggy. I love banannas already trying to give up diet coke. Can't give up banannas too :-(((

Is anyone else getting acunpuncture? If so what do they think.

guff grrr very annoying for you ! Fingers crossed it'll just be a final bit then all gone and you're ready to go! Cxx