I get knocked down, but I'll get knocked up again, cos you're never gonna keep me down... The big fat posifrickintivity thread for people TTC after MC.

I'm ok. The world has stopped spinning at normal speed and the days are going by very s-l-o-w-l-y. I'm doing everything I possibly can to improve the outcome but I know I really can't do a thing about it, what will be, will be.

Mumsnet erased my swearing! "some sort of s**t to deal with"

Yes you're right tins thank you for the reality check. - and the wet haddock xxxx hope you are doing ok and taking each day as it comes xx

Wet haddock in your direction Emki

There are more people in this boat than you think (shove up there, make some room) I was very lucky with my NCT group with DS1, we are all still friends 7 yrs later. Out of the 7 couples, one had a MC before her DC1, and another 3 of us have had one or more MC since our DC1 (1,2,and 3 MC respectively). It's a bloody miracle anyone ever gets born, if you ask me! Many of those bumps parading around winding you up will have had some back story of difficulties getting that far. I try to remember that even those with apparently charmed lives don't get through life without some sort of to deal with. I know it is very hard at the moment, but we will get there in the end.

Though obviously I must be pregnant this month otherwise ill fall apart!!! Haven't even started ttc as blooming AF took 10 weeks to turn up!!! Aagghhhh!!! And I've piled on some pounds!!!

Should do an exercise DVD now as dd in bed but really don't want to!

Right that's it! Someone throw a wet fish At me! I'm going to cheer up! We will get there ladies !!!!! Xxx

aly I hear you! It's so difficult! I'm surrounded with now 6 month old babies from my nct group - we were all pregnant at the same time but I lost mine at 20 weeks - now I seem to be surrounded by people who are due in September which when I was last due - my new neighbour just popped round and even they are expecting in late September!!!! I really so wish I could hide away from it all - then I think this making a stronger person - but then I think it's making me bitter and twisted!!!

What can we all do to be positive this month? A friend bought me some jam made if a fruit from Senegal that is supposed to be good fertility so I'm trying to believe in that ..... Also saying to myself that getting a bfp in the few months will fine - a spring baby -

Think I'm going to book a massage or acupuncture for next week something to look forward to and help me to relax .....

Anyone POAS tomorrow??? Good luck to everyone this month xxx

I shall join in with the general grumping: yet ANOTHER pregnancy announcement. Now I really am the only one from my NCT group who isn't pregnant again.
I feel like a horrible cow, but I can't help thinking "why me?" Why did it have to be me who had a mc? Not that I wish it on anyone, I don't want to swap my bad luck with one of them. I just wish that it didn't have to happen to any of us :(
It would be so nice to just be happy for them.

DDMF i completely sympathise. I desperately wanted to get pg ASAP after the mc but it wasn't to be. Now i'm in cycle 2/3 and the NEED isn't quite so physical but it's still very much there. I think the fact that it hasn't happened yet has made me more resigned, but not happy about it at all.
I reckon you need to talk to your DH.

chips It's a lot cheaper on ebay! You usually start POAOPK around CD 8-10, basically before you have any chance to ovulate. After a few months, when you have a clear idea on why are you likely to ovulate, you can POAOPK a lot less. Hope this makes sense.

Mrs Finch I have an app which helps me track my fertile week but I haven't been filling in all the symptoms and I haven't got a thermometer to check my temp. It does help though.

Littlemiss that's interesting, I think will try it and if it makes me worse I'll just stop. Are they all the same? I seem to remember the Clearblue one in Boots was about £30 for a month's supply. Do you have to POAS every day?

Just found out today that my step-niece has made an appearance 4 weeks early, so at least I'll get to have a go on a tiny baby :)

chips if it helps, I was really worried about getting obsessed with conceiving if I went down the OPK route (and I do have a tendency to obsess over things in general that I have to keep in check!). But I found that its helped make me feel that things are normal and has actually calmed me down a bit.

saggy I can feel a talk brewing like an erupting volcano

You're dead right toddle. My November baby got to 11+4 and has left a few unwanted pounds behind.

I do recognise how lucky I have been. I know that it could've been so much more traumatic. Our baby took the most difficult decision out of our hands. The procedure itself was straightforward although heartbreaking and we are lucky to have fantastic support. Just having a moany day.

and I've just found out that Mullerlight yogurts aren't vegetarian having just gobbled a banana and custard one

chips, I've used fertility friend in the past. I charted for several months before getting pregnant with DC2. Tis good.

Dearly we all hear you. I could have a September, and then a November baby. My second MC got to 12 weeks, and I even had the scan. I should have been planning my maternity leave, and told everyone about the good news. Instead I have got nothing other than the weight gain I got from the first trimester. It's really shit. I bought some new boxes from ikea to put some more of DD's stuff to the loft in the weekend. I wonder constantly should I just throw them all away since I really have no luck with the ttc. It's really shit.

I think one of your ladies had a 20 week MC. You know what? I'm fearing that would be me next. I dread having to untell the news to everyone. I had that with my first MC with my mum and dad.

Thanks for the advice everyone. You all speak a lot of sense.

I think the big issue for me is that DH has made the decision with no discussion, no chat, no compromise. And that makes me feel helpless, and insignificant. He is aware that I am upset, and as is his usual tack, avoids any emotional issues completely and pretends everything is fine. Well, I suppose from his end everything is fine. And from mine, most certainly not.

So I am stuck between forcing a BIG CHAT or as you say, not mentioning anything at all.

But it is early days. And I know that I am being ever so slightly unreasonable. But I just have that NEED. I should be 14 weeks pregnant today and I am not. And that is shit.

I'm having a shit day as well. The fridge man came and looked at our fridge freezer and declared it a write off. He said it's leaking refridgerant and it'd be more expensive to repair than buying a new one. It's not even 4 year old, ffs. It's a cheapo hotpoint but even still I expect it to last a bit longer. Really hoping I'll get a bit of posifrickintivity news this weekend.

Chips have you looked at fertility friend? I've got the app on my phone, and it's got a great tutorial that explains charting. I haven't got any luck with OPKs. (I bought them off ebay if you need a rec). Instead I'm charting with bbt and ewcm. I also got my bbt thermometer from ebay. You'll need one with 2 decimal place to work. I stupidly use a normal thermometer from boots and got no where until I gave in and got a proper bbt thermometer. HTH.

Emki no OPKs yet, maybe next cycle I will try them but I'm already obsessing too much and I'm worried that will make me worse.

Having said that, it is frustrating not to know if I've ovulated or not. In some ways it will be good to get my first normal period so I will know where I am. Sod it, I will definitely try the OPKs next month.

Any recommendations? Do I need to check my body temp too?

Also, couldn't agree more with the advice from bakingtins ...... Plan some fun stuff for the Summer rather than keeping everything on hold. I've felt much better since doing this (started roller derby a few weeks ago, got a tattoo booked in for July plus weekends away and festivals - all of which might have to be shelved if I manage to get a BFP in the meantime. But at least for now I can look forward to them too!)

flower sorry you're feeling so down :(

If it helps at all I was on a massive mission to make sure I was pregnant when my EDD came around as I just couldn't imagine getting through it without being pregnant again. But it wasn't to be - the EDD was hard but I got through it and feel much more positive now I'm past it. What ever happens you will get through it, I promise!

My first positive OPK since the miscarriage was just this month (MC was in October) - I really think this was because I made myself so stressed (MC plus new home/job) so try not to beat yourself up too much and take some time to try and relax. It sucks feeling like your life is on hold (no kids for me yet either) and I think everyone on here probably understands you on that one.

xxxx

If it helps, I was told at a scan on CD14 last cycle that I was unlikely to ovulate that cycle (no follicles big enough) but did ovulate late, I think on CD17, and got my BFP. All is not lost...

flower CD14 is still early isn't it? Stress can delay ovulation. I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed. I have no good advice or prosifrickintivity either. I'm waiting for ov and it's CD21 for me. (But this is cycle 0 of my second MC). DH has been talking all positive about holidays next year, and planning as if we'll have a baby by early 2014! Men are so positive about these things, aren't they?