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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

984 replies

HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:18

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

OP posts:
Nokkie73 · 18/05/2013 22:24

I thought Bonnie Tyler was a jock ?

Nokkie73 · 18/05/2013 22:21

I thought that. I think the sleazy looking old geezer with the massive grey porno tash did most of the singing though. He didn't move a muscle, except after the song ended when he proceeded to wipe the spit from his aforementioned tash. Nice touch, I thought.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 22:12

Anyone who can play a trumpet whilst synching his leg kicks with four others has my vote.

OP posts:
Nokkie73 · 18/05/2013 22:10

Greece has my vote with it's crowd pleaser, 'Alcohol is free'. No wonder the fucking country is skint.

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 21:19

I fucking hate it when people talk about 'having fun trying'.

evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 21:16

I'm being nice to him, Hest, as he's doing my surgery... I did tell him off though, "no, not really" and an unimpressed face, which is more confrontational than I'd normally be.

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 21:14

Oooh BONNIE!!!!!

evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 21:13

If Romania don't win, I'll be disappointed. This is AMAZING Grin

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 21:11

You should have punched him in the face. Nob.

WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ROMANIA!!!!111!11!!!1111

OP posts:
evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 21:08

Our consultant said "well, at least you can have fun trying". Idiot. As if sex and TTC are the same thing... Still, if you can put menkulling out of your mind, sex is still awesome. But TTC never is.

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 21:05

Dammit the alcohol must be kicking in cos I'm actually laughing at Swedish 'comedy' Blush

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 21:03

Well that's the main thing. Now you can say when some well meaning prick asks "So, when are you two going to start a family?" you can wink and say "We're having fun trying."

Hmm
OP posts:
evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 20:57

I got a shag this morning and yesterday morning Pointless, of course, but always fun Grin

I quite liked Russia - she's the best singing voice we've had so far.

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 20:54

Nah CBATM, ovaries defective, fuckit. Twas a good shag tho.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 20:52

Well done Winks. Don't bother menkulling though Grin. BESH CBATM.

Russia is boring as fuck. And why is she not singing in lovely Russian?

OP posts:
TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 20:50

Fertility wise, I got a shag today in my allegedly fertile time.

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 20:49

euro is going to leave us forever and it'll be my fault... I did like the Malta entry

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 20:48

Oh me too.

This boy from Malta could do well.

OP posts:
evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 20:44

I like Graham more than Wogan Shock

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 20:41

And we thought Wogan was irreplaceable. How wrong we were.

OP posts:
evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 20:37

We have it on too, Twink. I love Graham's commentary - did you hear him before Finland? "At the end of this song, there are two girls kissing. And if two girls kissing offends you, you need to grow up." Grin He is brilliant.

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 20:33

You are so wrong. The Eurovision Song Contest is amazing. I only joined the besh cos we had a eurovision feem last year.

I'm not even being sarcastic! Drinking fizz & watching it now :)

EuroShaggleton · 18/05/2013 20:08

Thanks jeff. It's just irritating as I had an abnormal one a year ago, then a normal one 6 months ago and now here we go again. If it had happened pre or post-ttc, I'm sure it would have been stressful, but the timing just sucks donkey cock.

KFZK and I have been out all day shooting things. It's quite therapeutic.

And tonight, we shall be wholly avoiding eurowankvision.

JethroTull · 18/05/2013 20:01

Nicely put Twinks.

Draff I was ranting at SSG about the fact that the campaign is aimed at women. Why not just people.

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 19:38

KG can fuck off and suck on a vagrant's pus filled sore Angry

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