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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

984 replies

HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:18

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

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EuroShaggleton · 20/05/2013 09:57

Twink I hope the sample was a good'un.

noks it must be comforting to see everything on the scan. Even if it does mean suffering yet another dildocam sesh.

Nokkie73 · 19/05/2013 22:29

jeff me either. I am way too superstitious right now so am pretending it is happening to someone else. This ploy was a bit difficult to maintain today when the consultant wanted to ram a mingecam about my person. However, back to normal now.

norf little donkey will get his own late night channel at this rate.

twonks good luck for HWCA's spaff tomorrow. If you don't batter him before then.

TWinklyLittleStar · 19/05/2013 22:07

Shock at the vulgar donkeys.

Good luck tomorrow euro. We are getting the results of HWCA's spaff test in the morning. I wonder will they be as contrary as him? I was under the impression we'd had a lovely weekend. Apparently I've been snapping at him all weekend. Odd that I hadn't felt snappy at all, until that conversation.

Northey · 19/05/2013 22:01

With his heavy load Shock

JethroTull · 19/05/2013 21:56

Nokkie I still haven't really come to terms with being a differ

Nokkie73 · 19/05/2013 21:53

norf nope. Am not ready for all that yet. Too superstitious. Please don't make me follow the fucking trail of babydust to instadifferland.....

Oh no. Now the sad song, 'Little Donkey' won't quite sound the same

Original poster
HesterShaw · 19/05/2013 21:46

Norf, either I am very memorable or very boring Grin

They do wear coats though. I think they have only just discarded them. Poor, cold little donkeys.

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JethroTull · 19/05/2013 21:43

Hest & Norf those 2 posts ^^ just made me snort with laughter.

Northey · 19/05/2013 21:40

And once they had little red and blue coats on! I remember you writing about it, and I have thought fondly and asexually of them ever since.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 19/05/2013 21:16

Donkeys are hung like, well, donkeys. It's like a fifth leg. Apparently. We have four dear little donkeys in a field near us and I would be most upset if I saw anything as vulgar as their cocks. I saw them playing football once with a buoy. Trufact.

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Northey · 19/05/2013 21:14

Would I suck donkey cock for a guaranteed win?

moll, sometimes giving in to the woe is the only way through it. SADAW. SADAW like its 1999.

How's it going, nokkers? Have you started to transition to the PESH yet?

Nokkie73 · 19/05/2013 20:45

cap'n yeah SADAW. SADAW until you vomit.

euro heehee sucks like donkey cock. Kate smug Garraway can suck donkey cock. See if that gets her a baybee. I also just wanted to say I hope your test goes ok tomorrow.

Hi to everyone else.

CaptainMoll · 19/05/2013 18:44

Oh god, now Goodnight Mister Tom is making me cry! What a fecking wuss!
I think the anaesthetic has messed with my hormones and I've got early pmt.Hmm Maybe I need to SADAW and get it out my system..WineWineWine

EuroShaggleton · 19/05/2013 17:56

The KG "campaign" is blaming women (once again) for "leaving it too late". When will people realise that most of us are not out there delaying things so we can carry on clubbing or climbing the career ladder but rather looking for the right partner, waiting for a partner to be ready or starting trying at a relatively young age but not succeeding for bloody years? Grrr.

moll sorry to hear about the tears. Are you feeling recovered now?

CaptainMoll · 19/05/2013 16:49

Also KG can go fuck her fertile smug stupid self up the bum and see how many baybees she gets that way.

CaptainMoll · 19/05/2013 16:48

Ahh I enjoyed Eurovision very much last night - sorry I missed the BESH commentary..

I am cat sitting this week for lovely friends who have perfect lives and have just had a weep at seeing the end of Railway Children on the TV. I think it's the knock effect of the baby shoes in the shoe rack and the high chair at the table.. Sad

Northey · 19/05/2013 11:04

Oh blee. No indeed, then.

EuroShaggleton · 19/05/2013 09:34

Norf, I like your ingenuity. However, I'm at the end of my period and I'm not sure that is something I want to share in that way.

Northey · 19/05/2013 08:43

You could do an oral sort of thing, euro? No spaff to interfere with results...

EuroShaggleton · 19/05/2013 08:30

I've wanted a shag all weekend, but KFZK wisely suggested we should probably resist before the colposcopy in case it interferes with results (I know you are not supposed to dtd for a day or two befor a smear but meh).

draf I can't believe your consultant says that. What a clueless twat.

I missed the whole thing. Hurrah.

Nokkie73 · 18/05/2013 22:33

I missed Romania. I only got in for Greece. The Swedish smorgasbord gets my 12 points. Fucking brilliant.

Why did I think Bonnie was from the land of the jock and not from Kaaaaaarrrrrrrrdifffffffff ?

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 22:31

Draf Grin

He was actually amazing wasn't he? But maybe it was a bit out there for Eurovision.

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evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 22:28

I voted for Romania. Almost-naked gymnasts, and a falsetto vampire - what's not to love? Grin

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 22:25

No Bonnie is from Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaardiff.

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Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 22:25

I want Greece to win simply to see what kind of do they'll be able to put on next year.

Austerity Eurovision.

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