The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

Frank what's the first rule?

"Never, Ever Google" is the second rule of BESH Club.

Glad you've got a resemblance of a plan Hesty, and hoping you don't need the slice 'n dice.

I'm just finishing up my latest assignment, more examination of the horse breeding industry. If we got alf the medical attention these darn mares get we'd have all been diffed years ago!

Can't remember if I mentioned before, but our furry addition(s) to the family is still on hold. The potential-mum cat is barren . She's been mated on 3 consecutive heats and has been empty each time. Apparently it's very unusual, hence me now assuming that I'm contagious

Oh hest, don't google. Never google. To be fair, you'll be knocked out for the horrid part, then it'll just be like having a manky period, so maybe it won't be that bad? I scared myself shitless before I had my gallbladder out, and that wasn't too bad, really.

draf that might be a bit ambitious. I was walking very gingerly in the hunchback pose (my stiches pulled if I stood upright) a few days after mine.

Twink I've never completely dropped mine, but I have caught it and sprayed the contents around the place a bit...

draf that sounds lovely. I wish I weren't stuck in the office.

Hest I also hope that you get to be spotty and grumpy rather than having the polypectomy.

Oh, nice! I'm looking forward to visiting my parents next month and playing at ponies. We're going about 3-4 days after the laparoscopy - I'll be fine to ride for that week, right? I can always go slowly, I suppose.

draf it's lovely here too, instead of going into the indoor school we took the horse out round Epping Forest, it was fabulous.

Gosh it's fanjo prodding central round here. norks that sounds like an awful day, and that particular Starbucks is especially shite. It's just there to throw muffins and lattes at accountants and doctors in the morning. To be fair, I don't think Igloo would stand out as a particularly stupid name in many parts of Sarf London.

hest I hope you get really spotty and grumpy instead of needing a polypectomy.

moll good solidarity. I'm impressed and motivated. I second the 'don't run in converse' advice. Ouch ouch ouch!

No droid yet and my boobs are so sore that trotting was a bit of an ordeal this morning. HWCA was torturing me so I got my own back by informing him that I need to boil and trim my mooncup, and told him about the lady that posted that she'd dropped hers. He was absolutely horrified

Noks, you are wasted on law. Seriously, that last post was comedic genius. Also, I'm now trying to figure out your name. Is it even remotely similar to igloo?

It is a glorious day here in the Fens. If the rest of you have even half of the stillness and sunshine we do today, go out for a walk or a bike ride or something, it's lovely. I've just ridden 24.5 miles at an average of 15.1mph - another PB and I'm feeling smug. It was brilliant fun :)

It's a cheeky lap & dye / fibroid removal combo.

cap'n air punches all round for this exceptional show of solidarity. Scowls for gynae who will be sloshing around mini moll. What are they doing ?

Noks, the only issue is that I'll just be getting into it when I have to get sliced up by a gynaecologist, and then I'll have to quit for a while.
I will start next week anyway, for solidarities sake.
Airpunch.

Euro Igloo. Really. Ffs. I hate starfucks.

cap'n please start it next week. We can be in pain and whine on and on about how shit snd boring running is together. Erm, I mean get thin together.

Good trainers and a decent bra are key. Everything else can be improvised from stuff you already have. I saw someone jogging in converse yesterday and cringed for his poor knees.

nok that sounds like a right pain in the t1ts. And Igloo? Really?

Noks, I see a great publishing career ahead of you.
Sorry about the crapness.
I'm going to start the c25k next week I reckon. Just need to find some trainers..

norf blimey O Riley, that's insensitive to the point of being crass. I am surprised that you didn't indulge in a bit of mindless violence afterwards. Although we all say that, but when you're in that situation, you are so stunned, then trying not to cry because everything is so shit and then trying not to make a scene, that we let people like that burble on until they go away. And they don't realise that they have made you feel like shit. And then we do feel like total shit and minesweep for glasses of port/wine/gin/fish and drink them until we feel sick. That said, it sounds as though they should have known better. Fucking instadiffers. Next time, you can brandish my sub-series 'No-one gives an arse about you or your plans to pop a baybee in your tumtum, beeatch'. Fuck, I feel like that ginger teacher in Glee who has a leaflet for everything.

Anyway, my update is that I am in for the hysteroscopy next week. Just been for the pre-op assessment at Guys. One and three quarter bastard hours for them to swab my nose, throat, fanjo, make me fill-out several questionnaires and then make me nearly fucking faint and vomit by trying to take blood from every conceivable vein in my fucking arm. To cap it all, I had to go into starfucks to grab a coffee to calm down after my needle trauma and when I was asked for my name, the fucking twat working behind the counter mis-heard me and shouted, rather incredulously, 'IGLOO ??'. Yes that's right. 'My parents are huge fans of the Inuit people' I said, 'and naming me after their traditional home was their tribute to them'. In my head. Fucking fuck fuck.

Anyway, after hysterofanjooscopy, I shall be reviewing the situation (selling everything i own and quite probably going on the game) and preparing to go for IVF again around July-ish time. In the meantime, I shall be having two periods in a week, feeling like a wide-eyed mental and being uber sensitive to pretty much everything. Oh, and that will be interspersed with feelings of despair at putting on half a stone and nothing fitting my fat ass, feelings of acute lethargy followed by weird energy bursts and non-stop raging at the world, thinking 'why me'.

Still, at least the 'No-one gives an arse' series will make me rich.

I downloaded the C25K sheet yesterday. I am going out for a run later. Yikes-a-fucking-Rama.

A plaster-covered Norks. X

Fanks :) the have done a group for those who want regular updates and I do a daily photo/update in there which helps me restrain myself on the main thing.

Norf I admire your restraint. I tended to go with a very tight lipped That's a very sensitive subject actually. Shut most people up!

Bloody hell norf! What insensitive twonks.

faif you have been very restrained on the baby photo front. I'd say you have it just right actually. Updates but not a constant bombardment. I shall try to remember that if I am ever in the same position!

Northy The next time someone does that (and invariably they will) - you won't be arrested for saying "Why are you saying this? Have we not discussed this before and you are aware of our situation? With all due respect, I'm here with my husband - FUCK OFF".