The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

jeff it's a good one, that.

twonks don't go there. It's ghastly. I shall send the books over right away. Six copies enough ?

Arf @ BOBFOC! I was amused once to hear someone referred to as "A Kronenberg" - 1664. 16 from the back, 64 from the front Not very sisterly I know

Well done on the run Noks, I seized up after the first run. I was sceptical about the second one, but actually felt better and I've not had any muscle ache since. Ankles and shins take a good few hours to recover though. Thank god for the day off in between! I'm up at 6am for Run 2 of Week 2.

Night hags, try not to sacrifice too many instadiffers in the night. Bloods a bitch to get out of the carpet

I've never been to Romford. I shall make a mental note to keep to that. You do have quite the way with words :) I would like 6 copies of 'stop whining you cunt' to distribute in the first instance please. I can think of several good homes for them.

at BOBFOC. We say that round these parts too.

Cheers twonks . I feel good. Though fuck knows how long it will last, all this running lark. Essex is.....interesting. I went on a night out in Romford once. At the end of the night, I saw a tattooed sloppy breasted vodka addled cougar literally devour a dumb looking eighteen year old. It was like watching one of those snakes swallowing its prey whole. To be fair to the lad, he'd been duped. She was a BOBFOC. Body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch.

drizz good on the running luv. Don't be grumpy. I shall try to cheer you up. Here, have some turbot. And a signed copy my bestseller 'stop whining, you cunt'. You can give it to diffed friend's husband.

No fivers driz, my cycles are anything from 27 to 36 days long and I'm only having normal PMT symptoms. If there's no droid in a week's time I might consider POAICing. But that won't be necessary. Also - punch that husband in the nuts.

Btw signing up for the I don't give a damn series, plus ample copies to share around the self-involved diffed, mums and others.

No I don't care you - the useless husband of diffed friend - are being woken up at 7am, as she is in the final stages of pregnancy and very uncomfortable. Which bit of I DON'T CARE don't you get. Especially knowing we would give an arm and a leg to be in your position - or preferably a month ahead - ourselves. GRRRR.

Evening running and being meddled with hags! Just popping in to confirm my continued existence. Hes polyp removal? I've had a small one ever since the MC, it goes into hiding as my lining thickens and they claim it is fine!? Riding 4 days after L&D sounds overly hardcore, I felt rough for a week or so (mainly GA) and then thick for another two... I went for a nearly 4mile run on Sunday and have mainly sat on my bottom and eaten since then. Maybe tomorrow. On other news I am feeling very grumpy, but your stories of "f(r)iends" and the comic that is nokkie have cheered me right up. Btw twink trimming the moon cup and buying some fivers, perhaps?

Well done norks! In answer to your question, yes but not by birth, and I'm only just outside the M25. I own no white stilettos, and have never said 'totes' or 'amazeballs' in conversation.

10. You shall all be given bound editions of my 'No-one gives an arse' series. Bound with the skin of instadiffers and insensitive cuntbags.

hest heehee funny girl. Have you been listening to k d Lang again ? Sorry to hear of your polyectomy woes. Don't google fanjo ops, just play Constant Craving and watch an episode of Ellen.

cap'n a cheeky lap'n'dye eh ? Poor mini moll.

norf I am glad I made you smile. Sounds as though you have a plan though, which is brill after droid hell.

franks I want your job. I love horses but I have no idea how they work.

raff I aim to please . Are you ok ?

twonks sounds as though you had a nice ride. Are you an Essex girl then ??

euro I totally forgot about moon cups. Though all this talk of trimming and dropping them makes them sound less like a fanjo gadget and more like a pet.

bugs love the rules. There's lots of random shooting suggested, which I fully endorse.

jeff hello !

Sorry if I've missed anyone off. Can't go back to the previous page. Grrr.

I went for a run. An actual run. I did the first one of this C25K devilry thingy. I hated it. Yet felt brilliant afterwards. I shall go again on Friday. I saw my neighbour and her mum in their car. Luckily I had just finished.....she called me over to talk and I dripped sweat all over their shiny new BMW. Classy. I can feel myself seizing up on the sofa so I may have to get the WD40 out before beddybies.

Norks x

Omg I just looked up saliva ferning. I never knew examining your slobber was a thing.

Good rules.

I don't mind them being insta once they are here. But I do mind if they rock up and say they've only been trying a month but they just know something is wrong because their saliva isn't ferning or something, then get a bfp two pages later. That lot can fuck off.

Baybeedust is allowed but strictly for snorting through a rolled up twenty

1. Forgetting the BESH rules once diffed means an instant slap with a large kipper will be applied.
2. The word 'relax' is not to be used in conjunction with TTC.

noks, you are hilarious and have cheered me right up.

I too am now trying to think of igloo names. Helga. Possibly.

Love the rules Bugs. Good to hear you are feeling more hopeful again

X post, soz Frank

(Jeffers, surely it's "no one talks about BESH club?")
(Or maybe it's instadiffers will not be tolerated?)

The first rule is Don't Talk About BESH Club

Sorry about the crap friend Bugs. I hate it when people do that