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Conception

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Original poster

The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

984 replies

HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:18

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

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RaspberrySnowCone · 04/05/2013 19:50

Noks in such situations I take consolation in the fact that I wouldn't want to be stuck in a desperate, lonely unloving relationship, baby or no baby. Agree it is a kick in the fanjo, life really is a bitch sometimes.

MATV has got me doing pad work and punching him in sequence. It's actually pretty therapeutic! Highly recommended.

Nokkie73 · 04/05/2013 19:47

I know I should hest and I will tomorrow. Stories like these make me so damn cross though.

Lets talk about Rhod Gilbert instead. Mmmmmmmm.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 04/05/2013 19:34

Wankers.

Put them firmly from your mind.

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Original poster
HesterShaw · 04/05/2013 19:34

Ach y fi.

:(

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Nokkie73 · 04/05/2013 19:29

HOLA Hags

I have only just had a shower. I have been well fucked off today. Saw my lovely best mate last night and she was telling me about one of her mates who I know quite well who has gone and got herself updiffed, basically to keep her flaky man. After three years of him basically mucking her about (he famously compared her to a moped - handy, but you wouldn't want to be seen on one) and various reinventions of their relationship, she 'forgot' her contraception for three fucking weeks and, like magic, she has a baybee in her tumtum. However, the father is a total dick, in my book. She suggested they go all Fifty Shades of Grey in one of their relationship reinventions. His took her to a laybye and spanked her with a wooden spoon until she begged him to stop. Which is hardly erotic, it's more like dogging with kitchen utensils. This story has resulted in the ole black dog of depression humping my leg all bloody day.

Angry
Original poster
HesterShaw · 04/05/2013 18:52

I always think I want hot weather. Then it gets above 22 degrees and I melt into a red, sweaty, ginger, rashy puddle. So attractive.

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lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 04/05/2013 17:16

How were the races frank? Well done on the run! I am going to attempt to run more than 4 miles tomorrow. But we've been for a long and slow cycle ride and now I am completely shattered... Waves at speedy draf.

RaspberrySnowCone · 04/05/2013 14:34

Omg sunshine!!! Sat in the garden trying to get a tan. Typical Brit!

CaptainMoll · 04/05/2013 13:19

Draff, can't help thinking that would make for an off putting climax. Men of HaaaaaAaaAAAAAArlech.

evilgiraffe · 04/05/2013 11:01

Funny, yes. Sexy, meh. Although he can probably sing (what with being Welsh and all), which is always a plus point.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 04/05/2013 10:40

Normal but FUNNY AND DEAD SEXY

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evilgiraffe · 04/05/2013 10:21

I'm going to iplayer Graham; can't miss out on Captain Fine and The Batch! Grin

I still feel smug after last night - cycling 4.5 miles each way to the pub entirely offsets the (delicious) three course meal. I can't be fucked to do anything today, though.

You're welcome to Rhod, hest, he's just a normal guy. I bet he'd put a lot of effort in - his shows always look exhausting. I loved candlepower and tog ratings and the award-winning mince pie, I cried laughing :)

Original poster
HesterShaw · 04/05/2013 09:40

Forget Cumberbatch. Just Rhod and me.

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RaspberrySnowCone · 04/05/2013 09:38

Rhod and Cumberbatch together......I'd give it a go I reckon :)

Original poster
HesterShaw · 04/05/2013 08:54

Maybe I should have sex with Rhod

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Original poster
HesterShaw · 04/05/2013 08:54

And ps, we haven't had anything approaching good sechs in bloody AGES.

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Original poster
HesterShaw · 04/05/2013 08:53

Running AND racing! Good gracious!

I have always been a fan of Rhod. I just find him extraordinarily sexy

As well as funny obviously. I almost gave myself a hernia laughing when I saw him at the Apollo. It was the million candle torch sketch.

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FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 04/05/2013 07:38

Morning hags. Busy day for me today: just been for my run, got a dance lesson at 10, then we're at the races all afternoon.

Anyone see Graham Norton last night? Cumberbatch galore! Wasn't a fan of his hair, though I suspect he's got it long for Sherlock. He was so nice to the fans too

Enjoy the long weekend hags Grin

RaspberrySnowCone · 04/05/2013 06:36

Certainly did mean end of the drought thankfully although this happened last time, nothing for weeks then a quickie then nothing again. Had loads more CM this morning and my back is still super sore? I had a horrendous migraine yesterday too, easily the worst I've had. I also cried on the doctor yesterday morning too :( he is going to try and find me a fertility counsellor and gave me some sleeping tablets to see if I can get a good nights sleep although to be honest I don't sleep too badly.

How did mooncup go Twink? I had a massive leak with mine first time I used it and haven't touched it since!

Nokkie73 · 04/05/2013 00:07

Rhod Gilbert. Yum yum.

CaptainMoll · 03/05/2013 23:58

CUP not up.

CaptainMoll · 03/05/2013 23:58

I've never found moon up to be the tiniest bit leaky. Just make sure it's popped out into a full circle. Does that make sense? Run your finger round it.. Tmi? It's hard to explain Hmm
I give up. Sleep tight!

TWinklyLittleStar · 03/05/2013 23:19

I am at my parents house. I don't think Rhod could go faster than a plane. I think maybe tonight wasn't the best time to do my first sleep with my new mooncup - I am terrified I will leak onto my mum's sheets.

CaptainMoll · 03/05/2013 22:15

I am on a train. It has been moving very slowly for a very long time and is running an hour late.
I hope Rhod Gilbert goes much better than this.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 03/05/2013 20:57

Rhod Gilbert is on.

Bet he goes like a train.....

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