The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

You're right, I had never noticed. Thanks for the reassurance. How did the burn happen? And do you use anything to cover it? I usually hate make up on my skin, but I will make an exception for this.

Have a look at my FB photos. Then look again - bet you never even noticed the massive burn scar on my left cheek. You'll be fine, promise. Arnica and bio oil will do the trick.

I'm feeling less melancholy today. My Star Trek tickets are booked and dick-for-brains pleaded guilty at the 11th hour so I'm safe to go on Thursday :)

norks how was the foof prodding?

HWCA dropped off his first ever spaff sample today. I actually felt a little sorry for him - at least nobody expects me to enjoy a dildocamming. Though I bet some people do. I read an article in a shit magazine this week about some woman that gets turned on by fairground rides and 'married' a spinning teacup.

Hello hags. I hope you are all feeling ok. Soe of you seem to have had rather melancholy weekends. On the other hand, I have had a lovely weekend, but am now feeling melon collie.

I was at the in-laws' place in the South of France. It was gorgeou down there. We even made it to the beach one day! Photos to follow on FB.

Now we are back I am completely wigging out about tomorrow. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it on here, but I have a (hopefully benign) cyst on my face. It has been growing very slowly for about 3 years. It has to go before it gets too large but I have a bit of a scar phobia, so knowing that this is the last day of my life that I will be without a scar on my face is really upsetting me. I am a little ball of anxiety about it and KFZK doesn't know what to do with me. Still, at least it is distracting me from the fertility stuff.

Yeah, I'm fine, noks. Sore knees, but nothing serious. My mountain bike weighs the same as a small elephant; makes me realise how light the road bike is!

Morning all.

Good luck with the hystero today Norks

I have sunburn after spending several hours doing the gardening yesterday < me.

Hope all is well with everyone, particularly those of our members who have been quiet of late.

twonks where is the Motherland

raff are you ok ? Damn bike. I did my second C25k run today. Have had to start the first week again but felt good and went for a swim afterwards. I am possibly the most inelegant runner in the world but I don't care.

Well, I'm off for the hystero tomorrow. Mon foof will be on display from 12.30pm tomorrow. Lovely.

Hello to everyone else.

Norks x

I'm back draf, I was in the Motherland visiting my sister and parents for the weekend, and am just back in sunny Essex. I'm homesick for my place of origin rather than my place of residence. Your weekend sounds lovely :)

SUCH a good long weekend! Dinner out on Friday with friends, BBQ with friends on Saturday night, trip to see Aliens last night, and HOTB and I have been mountain biking and picnicking in Thetford Forest all day today. Glorious sunshine throughout! Although one uphill stretch today defeated me, and when I pushed my bike up it I slipped and fell, and my bike dragged me down more and then fell on me. I have grazed and bruised knees for the first time in years and years!

Don't be homesick, Twink, have a good time! (where are you going?)

'lo hags. I'm at the airport and feeling homesick already, before I've even left properly, dammit! Are you all enjoying the long weekend?

DVD Hest.

We've been out to see Aliens at the cinema. I love that film, and big screen is wicked

Watching more Spartacus here although I do love PK.
There is ever such a lot of naughtiness in this sporticus malarkey. Tits all over the place

Is driz sozzled ?

Did I kill the fred? Drowned my sorrows and feeling good but won't be tomorrow morning

Morning Afternoon hags!

Nice image faithy-and-faithlet on MN :) Glad to hear things are improving and it sounds fairly blissful from the barren perspective!

I am having some trouble removing the other images for good from my mind. I am sorry but "involving your dog and smearing things in marmite to achieve this" Gross and stupid. If you're smearing any part of your anatomy with something, it should a) be tasty and b) be aimed at a consenting participant, otherwise you have no grounds for complaint.

On other news yesterday's slow cycle ride was about 30miles, today's slow run about 4. I am feeling pleased with myself and very sticky...

We are ok ta Nokkie. She us currently full of milk and asleep on my chest not that I'd ever MN with one hand and hold baybee with the other!

This parenting lark is definitely two steps forward, one back. The sleep deprivation addles your thinking and I've had thoughts like some of you describe like Am I capable of this?...but there is definitely something to be said of gut instinct - no-one knows this baybee like me and no-one can settle her like I can - that is very satisfying :) I think we're getting to grips understanding what's normal and the ESH FB group has been a lifesaver/wonderful resource!

No winners Noks sadly, but I only had one bet on the day. Not sure if I'll back anything today. Let me know where you are going nearer the time and I'll see what I can do. I can't guarantee winners, but I can give you some choice phrases that will make you sound like you know what you are talking about

In my rebellion against barrenness, I am drinking super-strength coffee and eating Danish pastries for breakfast

I had a similar conversation with my GP (about getting pregnant, not bum sex) when he asked me what I thought was causing me the most distress. I said it was because there are so many pregnant women around I was struggling to cope with the fear that I might never experience that and become a mum, and added to the fuck up with hospital paperwork I've just lost the plot a bit. I can't even look at diffed women or children under 5 at the moment without crying or wanting to cry.

Well done on protecting the lovely suede shoes frank, although a but of rain water is better than spunk I suppose. Oh no wait that was silk shoes wasn't it

Morning all

cap'n dog sex man is also world's stupidest man. For that, he deserves his 'ackers to be in the dog.

raff we were all a but doubtful about this parenthood lark yesterday. I think I will take hest's advice (which was exactly the same as Ma Noks's advice by the way, and she gives great advice) and put things like that out of my mind.

franks did you win ? I'm going to the races on the next bank holiday weekend and I need some tips.

So, today, i have decided that instead of the black dog of depression grabbing our legs like a sex depraved lunatic, he will be having a day off, eating marmite and happily noshing down on some man bits and will leave the BESH alone.

Noks x

Morning all, interesting conversations you lot were having last night. Like the BESH equivalent of the Friday Night Bum Sex thread!

The races were great as always, but we had a hefty downpour just before the big race and I had to take shelter to protect my totally-unpractical-but-utterly-gorgeous suede shoes from the rain. Don't panic, they were fine

I get all the doubting thoughts over kids. I have them frequently, but I think hope they are normal. Lets put it this way, you get nervous/worried about the things you care about, so I think the doubts are a good thing, providing you don't let them consume you.

We watched the Star Trek reboot last night in preparation for ST:ID (sounds like a sex-disease!) next week.

Hope the weather is as good for everyone else as it is here right now!

Eeeeew, Moll, eeeeeew!

Wooden spoons seems like a bad idea, but dildos and prostate stimulation is not that odd - thousands of gay (and a good few straight) men can't be wrong...

I think my brain is giving up on broodiness. Unless I'm hormonal it doesn't seem to have the same drive any more, and I can't even imagine myself pregnant. It seems like a completely ridiculous thought - both being pregnant and being a parent at all. Like children have absolutely nothing to do with me. Mind you, it's only a month ago that I was sobbing hysterically on HOTB outside our friends' house after he cuddled their baybee, so perhaps I'm just kidding myself

"I also have a parent"
So, my dad, then.
Very tired Cap'n, should get to bed..

Really Noks.
I also have a parent who worked for a medical journal. He had to edit various articles, including case studies. The most memorable was a couple who'd "wanted to get their dog involved in their sex life". The guy smeared marmite on his genitals in an attempt to encourage the dog. The dog promptly bit his genitals off.