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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

984 replies

HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:18

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

OP posts:
evilgiraffe · 13/05/2013 15:20

LOL, Cap! Grin

I love twiglets. My mum has a photo of me aged about eight reading a book and eating twiglets - nothing has changed since then except for the dimensions of all three participants!

Original poster
HesterShaw · 13/05/2013 14:47

Genuine laugh out loud moment, Cap'n! Grin

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JethroTull · 13/05/2013 14:45

Grin at Moll & her rotting baby dust.

CaptainMoll · 13/05/2013 14:38

Hest, I expect it's all the rotting unused baby dust that has been thrown at you over the years.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 13/05/2013 14:34

I did once. Haven't been back.

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TWinklyLittleStar · 13/05/2013 14:30

Well done draf that's fantastic. Small steps indeed, although twiglets are disgusting.

hest I don't go on to those threads. They are not for the likes of me.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 13/05/2013 14:21

Oh we have had damp forever. No, this smells different. Something kind of vegetationy. Maybe I just have an over sensitive nose. I'll be glad when the hoover part gets here.

I sound like one of the scary ladies off the housekeeping freds.

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evilgiraffe · 13/05/2013 13:44

Have you got/had a leak somewhere, Hest? Dried-out musty mould smells weird. Or fruit rotting in a bowl? They always go manky on the side you can't see. Or a backing up in the drains? Bung some Mr Muscle down the sink, that might help.

Raining again. But today I am inside and warm and dry, hurrah! Also, I measured 69 (snurk) kilos precisely today so am feeling rather svelte. Only 12lb/6kg to go and I will be officially BMI normal :) Of course I've just been to tesco and come home with twiglets and chocolate buttons, but small steps, right...?

TWinklyLittleStar · 13/05/2013 13:12

Defiantly, FFS.

TWinklyLittleStar · 13/05/2013 13:11
Grin

hest could there be Things in your walls? Apparently there were mice in the walls once, before I lived here. HWCA's evil ex must have scared them off, hahaha. Or damp. Sometime damp smells funny. Or a blockage in your drains, or pipe coming away from the sinks?

TWinklyLittleStar · 13/05/2013 13:09

Nah faify, she posted on a few other freds. I didn't just search for it, no. Moment of pure lurve was end of July last year so she's probably sneezed it out at home by not.

HadALittleFaithBaby · 13/05/2013 13:02

hest have you checked down/round the sofa? We had a weird smell. Never worked out what it was but it went away when I pulled the sofa out and cleaned round it...

The more I think about it, the more I think pure lurve laydee had hairy hands. Too good to be true?!

Original poster
HesterShaw · 13/05/2013 13:02

Yeah, shut up Winks GrinGrinGrin. YEAH.

OP posts:
TWinklyLittleStar · 13/05/2013 12:59

I'm saying that's good, but how the fuck would I know? I'm just guessing. Shut up winks.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 13/05/2013 12:57

Almost cycle buddies, Euro :)

There is a weird smell in my house. I'm finding it harder to concentrate on my work than usual. I have looked for the usual suspects - bin is outside, litter tray has been scrubbed with bleach, no rotting fruit anywhere, have chucked out the dead flowers. What can it be? The hoover is broken at the moment and I'm waiting for a part, but surely unhoovered carpet can't smell that much Confused. It's just a kind of minging, unfresh smell. I can't mop the kitchen floor until the hoover is mended. The broom is broken as well

OP posts:
TWinklyLittleStar · 13/05/2013 12:56

That's good though euro, they're obviously doing belt-and-braces in case your cycle's playing silly buggers and things are happening early.

I hate fucking pan pipes. I almost want to buy some just so I can take them outside and stomp on them.

EuroShaggleton · 13/05/2013 12:45

Heh. You're making me laff this morning.

I'm booked in for my first scan of IVF cycle#2 on Friday. It'll only be day 5 so too early to see anything but that is when they want me in.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 13/05/2013 12:44

While weaving lentils.

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evilgiraffe · 13/05/2013 12:25

Bet there's whale music too. Or pan pipes.

Fucking pan pipes Angry

CaptainMoll · 13/05/2013 12:23

And I expect she's experiencing positive pain - you know, how natural labour feels?

Original poster
HesterShaw · 13/05/2013 12:21
Grin

Oh yes pure lurve.

I wonder how that pure lurve woman is getting on. She may be giving birth by now, in a pool of course, surrounded by tweeting birds and fluttery butterflies.

OP posts:
TWinklyLittleStar · 13/05/2013 11:54

Just lie to them hest. Tell them you've been existing on a diet of organic oysters, dark chocolate, and a veritable parade of moments of pure lurve.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 13/05/2013 11:47

I haven't shagged anyone else since 1999! I wonder if that could apply to me.

No doubt they will try and make us feel guilty for Not Trying Hard Enough on this, our month off. What's the bleeding point? I know it won't work. I'd rather get a good night's sleep, to be perfectly honest :)

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CaptainMoll · 13/05/2013 11:18

Don't be sorry Hest - I'm undecided how much of it is hoakum. The electro-magnetic section made me snort derisively.
Afraid I've no idea what the infection was that the couple had - I only know it was minor and the NHS had missed it.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 13/05/2013 10:41

I will now look at the VD section. Sorry Moll.

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