The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

euro no-one can blame you for having a bit of a moment after all you've had to cope with. It's perfectly natural. Flip the world the bird, have some nice wine and let it all out. X

Twink superdroid has thankfully fucked off. Just in time for the non-start of my IVF.

moll I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. I was just left to get on with it after my lap. I didn't have a clue what to do, so I soaked off the dressing in the bath. Luckily, it didn't get infected or anything. Mine does look like it was sewn up by the surgeon's 3 year old daughter though. It's a fecking mess. I'm glad your surgeon did a better job.

Have I mentioned my latest pile of shit on here? I got home last night to find a letter with my smear result. It's abnormal again. Only mildly, but they are referring me for colposcopy. It knocked us completely sideways last night. I am just not sure how many knocks I can come back from. So we called the clinic and left a message cancelling the IVF - I was supposed to have the first scan this morning.

Anyway, today, I got on with finding a gynae (i'm going private to speed things up) and sorting insurance. I have managed to get an appointment for Monday. I am hoping that will confirm that there is nothing more than a mild abnormality. If that is confirmed, I will just go ahead in June. If it is more serious, I guess I will have to have treatment, and that will waste a lot of ttc time.

This is an exact rerun of what happened last May when I got my first ever abnormal smear result while I was in the middle of downregging. It's like Groundhog Day.

I'm just not sure how much more I can bounce back from - infertility, miscarriage, 2 abnormal smears and a weird fucking lump on my face. FFS. I need a break. I'm a fairly resilient person, but I think I am pretty close to the point where I go and sit in the corner of the room and rock slowly back and forth.

Well done on the running, Drizz
Working from home has many pitfalls, as pointed out by

Twinks get shagging well soon
BE is basically suffering from mental illness/depression that he never gets round to dealing with. It turns him into a giant toddler, so upsetting or difficult things result in him having a full on temper tantrum - I mean really, actually rolling around on the floor screaming and flailing. It's kinda frightening when he's 5'11 and pretty stocky. He has absolutely no idea how to deal with strong emotions. I sometimes wonder if he's not slightly autistic or something. He's been on the NHS waiting list for CBT for months, and before that was on a waiting list for a counsellor to contact him, but no one ever gets in touch, and I can't chase them up because of patient confidentiality. He can't chase them up because he's a wreck.

In the good news, my wounds are healing nicely, just had the dressing changed and can't believe how tiny the laparoscopy incision is! They really do mean keyhole. It's right in my bellybutton too, so completely invisible.
Better get some trainers in anticipation of my C25K fresh start..

Necks some gin, ta twink. Any exciting weekend plans? Grrr about No Shagging. And clearly a male shag-refuser never has a point.

The ovary scan showed some ovaries , phew but not much going on. But it's only cd8 (according to me, the clinic thinks cd7, due to their random cut-off at 11:30am), been stabbing for four days. Back on Sunday lucky me. I did go for a nearly six mile run in the woods behind the clinic

So I have been struggling with the whole wakefulness working from home.

driz ick to needing root canal treatment. Did the ovary scan show anything interesting?

Molly how are you today? Sorry you had a shitty time yesterday. Is the anger really so bad? Maybe he's managing it already, if he doesn't take it out on you, which is the most important thing. Or maybe I'm talking out of my arse.

Nothing exciting here, HWCA has refused to shag me for the last 11 days on the basis that me coughing my guts up, coupled with the risk of positional asphyxia, is somewhat the opposite of alluring. He may have a point.

euro how's SuperDroid now?

Fishslaps and Friday Gin to everyone else.

Me too, Jeff! Except we were at the end of stage one and Cav got wiped out by some fool with about 2km to go. So, instead of a brilliant Cav sprint-win, we saw him roll over the line rather slowly with a face like thunder. Still, it was good to see him all the same. It was a very British crowd, though, no-one knew whether to cheer or not, given that it was hardly the ideal finish...

I love Cav. And Wiggo. I saw them both last year speeding past on the Tour of Britain. Well, I saw a blur.

Moll sorry you have had such a shitty week.

Delilah Grace, I believe. She's gorgeous, and her mum (Peta Todd, ex page three girl) comes across as pleasant and witty in interviews too. It's an alright name, not my choice but there's nothing really wrong with it. Delilah is apparently a result of the 2011 TdF - clearly being on a bike all day for weeks doesn't take that much out of him...

Sorry I've been AWOL, busy weekend followed by busier week with some scannage of sleepy ovaries and X-rays of holy teeth thrown in for good measure. The news is that I need to get a root canal treatment before getting diffed, and that I have ran about 12 miles so far this week :)

How are things here?

Hest, is he a bit like that old joke about Linford Christie running where you put your tongue in alternate cheeks?

I have had an exhausting day watching BE properly lose his shit with the plumbing over and over. Have had to do the kind of reasoned talking through temper tantrums that normally only happens on that supernanny programme. Really not what I needed post-op. He has some serious anger-management issues and I wish he would make time for therapy. Sigh.
(Anger is never ever directed at me, I should point out - he takes it out on inanimate objects and himself).

It does make me seriously question whether we should be ttc sometimes.

Oooh he's nice.

I have no idea who Cav is and thought a giro was the old name for jobseekers allowance. Pls to be educating me?

And a wicked sense of humour and twinkly eyes and proven fertility.

Cav is brilliant. There's about a week and a half left - they're about halfway. Wiggins can still claw it back, but honestly I'll be surprised if anyone other than Nibali wins it.