The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

Oooh mooncup can be used as a TTC aid?! We had a discussion a while back about them as a few of us use them for AF. I guess theory is that sperm can't escape but somehow I can't imagine that they would get that far down then turn round & swim back up again. You usually wear a mooncup quite low down otherwise it's a bugger to get back out again. Willing to give it a try though & guess it keeps the preseed / preconceive in place for a while after too.

Charming it sounds like your teacher just doesn't get it, and he's coasting til the end of the year. Any chance his contract won't get renewed? If you don't change jobs, can you at least work under a different teacher? He would drive me bananas. He's not even trying

Peanut good on you for making the call; I'm glad the GP will see you. You'd think the consultant would have someone covering if s/he were unavailable for that long, but I guess that'd take the fun away

we do DTD outside of SW, quite a bit , barring the usual stalemate-type issues that pop up every time his exw calls periodically. It really does feel vaguely manipulative to button my lip so SW isn't torpedoed, but if you guys do the same, then at least I can feel morally iffy about it in good company.

Here's a new one, anyone use a Mooncup? I'd never heard of it til recently and was kind of intrigued, but then I read some people use it as a TTC aid. I got one today. BTW K-town is full of pregnant ladies...again.

peanut - great about the appointment. not so great that you had to chase.... grrr

P.S. I was less subtle with the teacher today - asked him what he plans to write on reports at the end of the year for music!! He said he wouldn't be able to write anything. I then told him that he had to ask PPA cover to teach it as well as RE. He said he will!! I'll believe it when I see it, as she's not in school now until the day she covers him, so it won't happen next week... I also brought the laptops in for ICT and we didn't use them!!

Another day, another application form....
Thanks for the encouragement about dtd. We didnt manage it again last night. Dh is out this evening, but may pounce on him when he gets home. I've got the beginnings of EWCM, so perhaps all is not lost. We're at a friend's on Saturday night, so I'd like to get another 2 doses before we go and one on Sunday to make sure. The marvellous thing is though, if these are ov signs, then I should have a 28 day cycle this month!!!!!
Do you dtd much outside of SW? I think that's the issue for us. We need more practice of regular dtd other than at vital times. Or, just aim for cd 12 onwards, rather than cd10, in the hope that it will line up around cd 14.

sid, i would totally shelve issues around SW. I know it feels manipulative, but needs must. I feel the same about spending my time charting pimping etc and then encouraging him to dtd, when ordinarily, I wouldn't bother!! I think we women have to take control of many aspects of ttc, and atmosphere is an important one.

peanut that is diabolical. I would be absolutely fuming if I were you. Not good enough. And I'd be ringing up and saying 'i would like somebody to ring me by the end of today to discuss these results with me'. End of.

Oh just read your update. Good work. who says I'm slow? Huh?

frog I had a little chuckle when I thought you were going to wave alcohol and sperm in your OH's face. Thanks for the offer for sticks....damn technology.

Aw Frog stubborn DHs are so annoying! Mine isn't much of a drinker but he loves his hot baths and won't give them up

Took your advice, have just phoned the GP and whinged told them the issue, my GP is going to see me on Tues next week to discuss results. So hopefully she can get something moving, although so far she's been as much use as an inflatable dartboard.

Can you guard the printer at work? Or do it after work, sneaky-style?

lol send them here frog, I'm the printer here!

PS

Peanut I'd be fuming if I were you! Can you not phone your GP & see if they can do anything? (probably futile I know) Or try writing a letter to the clinic thretening to complain to management?

I have now had a bit more of a look at the NICE guidelines & think they could be very helpful. Might wave the bit about alcohol & sperm in DP's face. Saturday when we went food shopping we got 3 bottles of white wine (his poison of choice) & he said that was for the weekend & he wasn't going to drink in the week. Anyway I got back from meeting a friend yesterday (& my 1 glass of wine) to find that he was 2/3 of the way through another bottle he'd bought & then proceeded to finish the rest!! Really don't think he will listen to me though until the day his jizz test comes back abnormal, his ego is forced to accept he's no longer in his 30s & the dr tells him to lay off the booze.

Thunder I've stocked up on ICs so would love to send you one but not sure the technology is quite there yet. FX for the pimping though!

Ooh Thunder is it that time already? If I had any I'd be forcing one down the wires but I have banned all pimping equipment in this house until at least CD30 this time round. Hope you find one and it gives the right answer!

Sid agree with others, the main concern is getting diffed. Leave the big issues for when you don't need him to perform, getting swimmers out of a sulky DP is never easy! It's something that you'll obviously have to confront at some point but probably not worth wasting a cycle over. And yes, I do put off having a good nag until AF if I know we're going to have a proper barney over it which is annoying because sometimes AF takes her sweet time

As I understand it, guidelines like NICE are exactly that - there for guidance, but not the iron word of the law. That said, if you put in a complaint and they haven't adhered to guidelines without a good reason, they're likely to get bollocked. I'd hope that waving the evidence of what NICE says in their faces would scare them into persuade them to do what you're asking.

Frog rather chuffed to be mistaken for the lovely boodle!

Am fuming quietly at this end. Had my bloods taken on 22 March at gynae clinic, haven't heard a peep from them since. I took it upon myself to phone up, get the results sent to my GP and collect the results, which were abnormal (testosterone 2.2 where 1.8 is high end of normal = indicative of PCOS, along with missing AF, infertility and weight gain should mean a diagnosis from what I understand and what the GP said). Nobody has contacted me from the clinic since 22 March. I've phoned up about six times and been fobbed off that the consultant is on holiday, is dealing with it, is off sick, isn't there... today when I phoned she was off sick again. They don't know if she's reviewed the results or not, no letter has been sent according to the system. The GP won't see me until I'm discharged from consultant care. Am I within my rights to be totally pissed off annoyed? Surely it shouldn't take them a month to discuss my blood results with me?? I just want a diagnosis and to move forward!!

Hi Sid as a fellow SM I know exactly what you mean. It's no coincidence when I look at FF that our BD dates are very rarely when we have SS. I killed the moment last night when asking when he was going to sign his divorce papers (it's taken 7 yrs for either of them to bother serving them FFS & now his ex has done so I just want him to do it. He's promised he'll be divorced by the time our baby is born so he potentially still has a bit of time ) & for an inexplicable reason it's still a sensitive subject. I will be shelving it & all other touchy subjects for the next 2 weeks or until O whichever comes first!

Hi all,

sid I echo tally, shelf it for SW. I don't have nearly such a major thing to worry about but I do bite my tongue a lot more when I need DH on side. After all if there's no baby, then there's nothing to worry about anyway! Get diffed as first priority.

cate I too echo the others with about your GP and her blatant stupidity I would arm yourself with the regs and get back there to see a different doctor. It makes me so mad that the treatment you get is so dependent upon the person you see. Like sid says, what's the point of bloody guidelines?!!! (sorry Sid I don't know the answer to the question)

Can someone pm me a cheapy hpt? I'll pay you back, promise....

Aaargh. I hate it that my phone thinks I say U when I want to say I......

Hi sid. Sounds like this is an ongoing problem that you should really try and shelve for shag week and maybe bring up again during af when it won't harm things quite as much. U know what it's like trying to ignore something for the sake of harmony and it willing be easy, but I think you said it yourself - it's not going to get resolved or fixed while you need to keep the peace and get all sexy. hugs and . I can't imagine how hard it is to be a SM while also TTC and I send you lots of hugs and support through the wire xxx

Cate that's ridiculous of your GP & really makes me angry on your behalf! She's just flat wrong and you aren't asking for anything that she shouldn't have offered you right away anyway. Last week my GP told me to come back in 4 mos; I'll be going back in 2 which will be the year mark for me; then again we've already had the blood/sperm/dildocam tests, so the next step for us I think has to come from a fert clinic, and she says she 'never' refers to one within 12 mos of trying, regardless of age. What's the point of guidelines if GPs are allowed to override them? [serious question here, remember I'm new to the NHS & just want to make sure my understanding is correct]

Merkin & Peanut congrats on the job offers!

V excited for everyone with upcoming IVF dates!

Heading into Shag week #10 here, and I've a question: How do you handle it when SW happens when there's an argument/'atmosphere' going on? Every cycle it seems like I get broody about how DH's exwife controls so much of our time and I get panicky about how it'll affect a pregnancy/early days of a new baby. It never really gets resolved bc my DH is stubborn as hell there might not actually be a resolution.

Is it sneaky to bear TTC in mind when choosing whether to open up that can of worms? Do you guys shelve things like this during ov week? or would you plow on anyway, knowing an argument could wreck the entire cycle, when you know you'll kiss & make up anyway, but maybe not til after it was too late?

Sorry for waffling - sometimes I feel a tiny bit manipulative bc I find myself weighing out whether it's worth bringing the ex up, against what CD we're on and it makes me feel v guilty

Sorry peanut I've miscredited boodle. I'm always looking at this on my phone & missing stuff!

Morning all. Thanks for the link boodle I'll be quoting that at the drs if nothing happens this month as it will be 6m for me & I'll be 37 in aug.
merkin feel free to PM me & I'll take a look. I'll just have to figure out how the Pm works first though. Do I have to open my profile at all?

Morning all. I second that Cate, go back and stamp your feet. You should be taken seriously and that doctor sounds like an idiot.

Thanks Berries, you are all so knowledgable on theses things. I'm going to go back to my husbands doctor at the end of this cycle. My appointment was the last of the day think my doctor just wanted to get home. I'll make sure I don't do that again.

Cate In that case she should be referring you to fc before your 12 months trying are up - the NICE guidelines say

A woman of reproductive age who has not conceived after 1 year of unprotected vaginal sexual intercourse, in the absence of any known cause of infertility, should be offered further clinical assessment and investigation along with her partner. [new 2013]
-Offer an earlier referral for specialist consultation to discuss the
options for attempting conception, further assessment and
appropriate treatment where:
? the woman is aged 36 years or over

Link here p18

So tell her to stick that in her pipe and smoke it. You have the right to a referral, beat her round the head with it until she gives you what you want. Or better yet, as the others have said find a doctor that actually cares because she sounds like a knobhead pretty insensitive.

Good luck!

Sorry, popping in before bed having spent all evening painting the bathroom and clearing up so can't catch up with everything!

Cate How long have you been trying? Surely at 38 they can refer you after only 6 months if there's something you're concerned about, ie cycle length?

Evening all! I'm not really here as have a big pile of work that is still not finished, AND it's shag week. Just wanted to say that Barking, I'm glad FC went as well as it can do. Cate, go back and ask for the tests. If she still says no, new doctor; that is unacceptable.

Thanks Trying I think I will go back my husband's doctor seems much more understanding so maybe we can try him.

Night berries x