The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

I'm also left to own devices whilst DP is pickling the sperm we need at a work do. I've just bought ingredients for curry to try & entice him home but in fact am scoffing wine gums (got to better than wine right?) & preparing the Sperminator prototype. Now wondering whether it could be based on those kegel ball things rather than the rampant rabbit...

Frickin' instadiffers - can we not stick them all on a desert island somewhere with no Internet access?

6.5 months gone?!?! So not only has she instadiffed, she's got past the first two semesters without even realising and therefore had no worries and no constant stress about whether it will stick? I don't know her but I already dislike her intensely.

That does it. I need chocolate. And . The nurse said it wouldn't hurt and having told her I've been having ridiculously light, almost non existent AFs since coming off the pill AF decided to make itself known yesterday. Big style. Bad cramps.

This is why I only come to this thread!! Although I did read one about a cat rescue last night after a friend posted a link on fb. I thought of the berries as I know there are a lot of fluffy babies out there... I shall go find the link...

Grrrrrrrrrr
Just perusing the active threads and came across a heath question about someone with a 'tickling' in her tummy. Don't know her diagnosis yet, but a bloody instadiffer with a vengeance was there with a fluttering of her own. she's just had her 4th, DTD once since then and BECAUSE OF THE THREAD decided to poas to see what her fluttering was about. She's 6.5 months pg with no 5. HOW IS THAT FAIR????????

I'm very busy Bunny I'm putting up Ikea furniture while DP has gone for a run with the dog. I'm definitely not lying on the sofa messing with my phone instead.... Busy, busy busy..... Might have to text DP and tell him to bring chocolate home as I've been working so hard while he's been out....

I want a sperminator too!!!

BFNs not BFPs obviously!!

Evening ladies. Haven't posted all week as been flat out. Boo to all the AFs and BFPs. Have I missed anything major? What's happening with you Merk?
Frog let us know when the Sperminator prototype is ready. I'm sure us Berries will be very willing guinea pigs

Crossed post - haha Frog you evil genius you! Love it, can we call it the Sperminator?

Haha yep barking, every time and twice on Fridays, it's like When Harry Met Sally around here he wishes! For me it does happen sometimes during sex if there's been a lot of foreplay because I'm obviously geared up for it, but it's not like it's a dead cert. It's certainly never happened AFTER him, except on the rare occasion that he goes for round 2 straight away (ding! ding!)

I'll give that suggestion up as a bad job then!

Right am off right now to invent a rampant rabbit that will plug all the sperm in after DTD, ensure that you get the big O so that the cervix dilates or whatever appropriately & which you can use as a preseed applicator for good measure. Oh & maybe with a matching cushion to lie on. Ingenious, non?

The only drawback will be that Mr Frog will truly then think I only want him for his swimmers & refuse to DTD at all. Either that or the device will have to be very quiet & used in secret in conjunction with acting classes to fake it realistically whilst DTD.

Hey all

I'm the same as barking never during, only before. I'm not sure if I'd be able to concentrate on getting an orgasm with it all leaking out of me!

thunder sorry to hear you got a bfn. I've just got my AF so feeling v sorry for myself at the moment. This is so hard...I hate hate hate all the waiting and obsession in the 2ww (or 11 days for me) and then that bitter disappointment at the end.

On the plus side I have my first acupuncture appointment this evening. Not sure what to expect.

I've heard of that Peanut, that the spasms help the sperm in if the female orgasms, but I laughed and disregarded it. I have never once experienced it during sex, only foreplay, which is obviously a little premature to be helping the buggers in as they haven't made an appearance yet. It didn't occur to me to try afterwards as I'm too busy shoving a cushion under my arse and sticking my legs in the air. I really can't imagine trying to orgasm at the same time as making sure the swimmers don't dribble out. Wow. Imagine.
You're all going to come along now and tell me that you all orgasm every time you dtd, even after ttc for 16 months ;op.

Tally it definitely was, I know she can get really funny about criticism so was dreading it but she took it ok. Phew! I wasn't going to say anything originally but I'm glad you guys persuaded me, hopefully she'll think before she types next time

Also had a brilliant session with the my acu lady today. She's convinced she can get things going again, with or without the stupid doctors prescribing clomid. I suppose I just like how positive she is - trying not to put all my eggs in one basket (HA! Eggs. Made a funny) but she just fills me with hope. Plus she isn't totally happy-clappy, she's very down to earth which makes me trust her opinion more I think. She's tried to stimulate ovulation today so ideally should be ov'ing in a week's time. Also suggested Preseed as I can't say for definite that I've ever had EWCM, so shall be trotting off and getting that.

Also, she suggests that it's better if I ahem have my fun AFTER Mr Nut when dtd, if you grasp my meaning, because the big O helps the cervix lower and dilate and spasm to help swimmers through. HMM. This could be tricky in practice, I get very annoyed if he goes first because then it's all over and done with and I get nowt (to which her suggest was a bit of post-coital DIY!!) Anyone else heard of this? Am I the only one doing it WRONG?!

Well done peanut. That sounds like it was harder in your head than IRL, thank goodness. I often think about saying something to my friends but as almost all of them live in their differs happy land I think it would be such a difficult conversation I end up not having it.

Well, had my coffee/stern word with friend although mine wasn't coffee, it was herbal tea in case I overcaffeined my eggs. Tried to be nice about it, got talking about the acupuncture/ttc and then I said I'd been upset by a few things on FB recently, and she said, 'oh, what?' so I said that it was actually some of what she said (I did throw in that pregnancy April Fool that someone else did just to make it seem it wasn't just her). Think she was going to get on the defensive but then just said sorry, hadn't thought about it that way and that she'd try and be more thoughtful. So I guess that's a win for me then. Just as well because I'm being her latest son's godmother in June..!

Frog hurrah to getting through to Mr Frog on the drinking front!

Bah Thunder hope you get through the christening ok. Thundersprogs would of course be far better in every way.

Barking have fun at the seaside!

Def a NC thunder!

I told the first person in RL that I was TTC & struggling the other night but I did feel a bit bad about it as she is 40 this year, not in a relationship & thinks her hormones are out of balance anyway so has pretty much given up on the children thing. She did say she knew lots of people who had conceived using IVF though. Even she was a bit too much "relax it will happen" though! Keep us posted on your friend Peanut.

Green days (aka shag week) officially started yesterday but I have warned DP that it could go on for 2 weeks. We have got a night away next Friday in a hotel so might just catch that perhaps even if it's not a whole weekend like Sid I was just too tired last night though to pelvic tilt & cushion-bum it though . not too worried anyway given O probably not for ages yet.

In other good news he didn't totally freak out from me e-mailing him the alcohol extract from the NICE guidelines along with a footnote as to the number of units in a bottle of white wine! He's started the Raspberry Ketone diet so hopefully that will inspire him to be a bit more healthy anyway. He ate Weetabix for breakfast for the first time since I've known him today!!

I'm off to a christening. Nice.
It's ok really- I will smile and attempt to look smart, while thinking that my baby will be waaay better than theirs say the right things and then run off to the pub to get ridiculous with a large bottle gin.

barking the campervan weekend sounds great!

You have the opposite weekend to me sid I'm sharing my campervan with my mate and her two kids - we're taking a trip to the seaside!! But on AF here, so not missing out on potential action with DP anyway!

Up the positive thinking!!

barking she adores her children, she'd have fifty if her husband would let her. I think she just doesn't engage brain. She's a good friend otherwise so will gently try and prod her in the direction of being a bit more thoughtful! Can't imagine how painful it must be to see someone with kids who doesn't even want them and those poor children.

sid enjoy the bonk-break! Make one for us!

Right, off to see if acu lady can stimulate some eggy activity for me next week. I know I'm setting myself up for a fall by getting so ridiculously hopeful that this is the magic cure...but all the 'thank-you' cards with pictures of babies on her wall makes me think maybe she really does help!

Morning berries!

have to read & run but wanted to wish you all a good Friday & a happy weekend - heading out of town for a break, and to hopefully conceive a child. Viva la shag week, go big or go home, etc etc.

Am chanting the conception meditation in my head and trying to think insanely positively bc I am so very tired of the TTC anxiety I put myself through. I know you guys can relate and it's the only thing saving me from really looking like a nutcase to people in RL!!
(or from glaring at all the pg ladies in Kingston for that matter)

peanut definitely say something, if she's a lovely person she probably doesn't realise she could be upsetting other people as well. Even the same message with (but I'm so lucky to have my kids) would take the sting out.
Having said that, there are women out there who genuinely regret having their children. I know one .

trying Yes, that's as I understand it. That's how I managed to explain away all my bfn's and convince myself I was pg, as I would poas when I thought AF was due but get a bfn, but obviously with my short LP I was only testing at 7dpo, so potentially a whole week before AF would be due in a more textbook cycle. AF followed each time . Having said all that with my more sensible hat on, I did get loads of pg symptoms cycle before last and convinced myself (again) it had definitely happened so pimped with a double dye (merk's trick of taking the dye from one test and adding it to the other) but clear as day, obviously.... I was a whole 8dpo at the time, which apparently some people can get a line at, but it depends how long it takes the egg to make its way to the womb etc.