The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

Quick change of topic here just for a sec - GP appt in 2 hrs & was hoping one of you could tell me specifically what thyroid tests to ask for? My levels for different tests (T3, T4 etc) have been borderline in the past.

Is there a specific comprehensive "package" I need to ask to have done, or do I just say "please test my thyroid levels as I'm concerned they might be a problem due to my history"? Or is there just one specific thing that needs testing, as it relates to TTC?

I never understand the 'ivf is selfish' argument. How is wanting a child of your own, to follow the deepest primal urge we have - procreate to preserve your DNA - how is that SELFISH? Yes, civilisation means we can choose to ignore our animal instincts, and true, some people do not feel compelled to produce children.. But I do, and it's a natural instinct and the reason our species has survived long enough to produce idiots who phone into radio shows to spout rubbish!

that's what I think anyways

Sidney your comments are spot on.

Am I wrong in assuming that the idiot saying that people going through ivf are selfish has never had any problems trying to conceive?

I love it when people have opinions they won't shut up about, regarding personal circumstances that they themselves aren't involved in. Adoption is a wonderful thing but personally I don't see how it could satisfy the monumental longing I have to create a new person that's a combination of my husband and me. My feelings about this might be colored by my experience as a stepmother: I crave something that's ours bc so much of my time/energy/efforts are devoted to people who are "theirs". Frankly I don't think adoption would be open to us anyway, due to the restrictions they put on re: timeframe of trying to have a biological child, much less the interviews they do with existing children and also with ex partners - it's incredibly hard to swallow that my DH having children not only bars us from NHS IVF, but could also keep us from adopting.

TTC has been the biggest emotional beating of my life, and it gives me the rage when someone basically tells me that I don't deserve a family as much as someone else. It's hard enough as it is without some idiot acting superior bc they happened to meet their spouse earlier in life than I met mine.

Yes it was because of Dr Edwards. They were talking generally about it and then had callers talking about their IVF experiences. All very lovely really. But still grounded, the woman speaking pointed out that only a third of couples are successful.
And they had one idiot call in just to say that couples going for IVF were selfish and they should adopt. I would say that makes every woman who gets pregnant selfish as they could adopt. And one obligatory rant about millions of embryos being destroyed. I liked the response on that one. She pointed out that millions of embryos are destroyed every month when women have their periods .

What did they say? I imagine it was because it was due to Dr Edwards dying.

Anyone listening to radio 2? They're talking about IVF.

Yes pip, last summer (while we were travelling in the campervan around France) DP suggested dtd and I can't remember my response but his reaction was pretty much along the lines of 'you only want me for my sperm' so since then I've been tying to initiate dtd throughout the month instead of only initiating it myself during shag week. Only this month when I had a real low point of 'this is pointless it's not working so why bother' I didn't bother making a particular effort during shag week, but then panicked when I thought O was the next day and tried to dtd but DP was tired and said leave it until morning.
I totally rationally then said that would be 'too late' so he asked why I hadn't told him it was shag week and I said it wasn't working so what was the point and he said ok then we could do it now so I said it was 'fine' which obviously sounds like it isn't as there was no point anyway.....
Hmm. I was on form...

frog Ha, green days and red days? Excellent! I suppose it's because we don't know when the green days are, I'm always cringing at sperm wastage. Although did start temping this morning so maybe will have a better idea in about, ooh, six months time when I've had another two cycles! Only have a normal thermometer at the moment but going to get a proper bbt one today if I can bear to leave my hot water bottle for more than two seconds

Haha Peanut my DP knows that he has no chance of other favours on anything that might be a "green day" as shag week is euphemistically referred to in our house in a bid to reduce pressure.

pip doesn't really apply here because we don't know when shag week is, so it's just regular-ish dtd all the time. Can't quite manage every 48 hours as the prepubescent doctor suggested, but do our best! On a slight tangent, (and this may be TMI people), does anyone else slightly resent other ahem favours for the boys because the money shot doesn't end up where it's needed? I do because I'm nice but secretly I'm annoyed

Haha tally DP woke me up the other morning cos he was in the mood & I made him wait whilst I took my temp! I agree with you pip I don't want to be accused by DP of only wanting to DTD in shag week (or in my case fortnight as cycle is unpredictable) so am willing to do it at a lot of other times too. I did read something re SMEM as well about needing the sperm to be fresh or something so you should do it outside of shag week too.

When I was temping I found that I would ov the day after the positive opk.

A question ladies: have you found that all this ttcing has meant that even when it's not shag we you are DTD when you'd really rather not just for the sake of fairness?

I've been using cb digi opks as I love the fact you can use fmu and get the palava over for the day- no trying to interpret them either! I think I'm lucky though in that I've only had to use 3 sticks most month as my smiley tends to turn up on time. I stop using them after first smiley though skinflint I was curious over relationship between O and the number of days you get a +ive on, so that's useful to know, thanks.

well I've tempered religiously all month, but today dh woke me up before the alarm even went off - apparently he'd been lying there for 2 hours already wanting to dtd. I like morning sex, but he went to bed at 10 and I went to bed at 1. alarm is 6.15. I was not particularly amused but as af is a couple of days away I thought I'd better keep him happy! And he did make me waffles for breakfast while I snoozed afterwards.

Yes I do use opks. Tbh it varies for me as I'm not sure my cycles are fully back to normally after the mc. For two cycles I've had a positive two days in a row then a negative on the day of ovulation. The others I've had one day of positive then ovulated the next day but it's always been the day after the final positive. Hope that helps.

I use cb ov sticks which means you have to reduce fluids 4 hrs before - I always end up being dehydrated on those days as I worry about it not brin concentrated enough to test!!! Just me?!

Morning all

yorkie or anyone really - do you use opks too? Just wondering when you really do O after getting a +ive?

I'm with barking on temping driving you crazy. I started waking up at silly o'clock thinking I should be temping then knowing it wasn't going to be consistent due to the taking temps at different times. This cycle I've just temped from CD10 up until ovulation and for 4 days after until ff confirms ovulation and then I put the thermometer away and start obsessing over nonexistent symptoms

I count myself lucky then! Silver lining tonight of not being pg when thought I was is that can go to friends bday bash in London & drink away quite happily. I was wondering how I was going to explain my sobriety otherwise & was going to have to say I'd driven to my station or something!

Yes to Babymad BBT. Do it Bunny! Like Frog I have done the experiment of taking my temp then going back to sleep and taking it again an hour or so later. Especially if it was a really random temp that I didn't really believe. But for me it doesn't make that much of a difference, 0.05 of a degree, maybe 0.1 at most. But everyone's different. My cycles are regular as clock work and I always OV around the same time but I carry on temping because if I did have an anovulatory cycle I'd want to know about it rather than living out the whole 2ww with false hope.

My targeted advertising yesterday was IVF abroad! Specifically Norway!

Aaaargh just seen a sponsored post on my Facebook timeline today: the preparing for birth app. Targeted advertising just go fuck the right off.

frog I'm there with you on the geek sofa. I was actually a little disappointed initially when I discovered the apps as I'd already planned to use a spreadsheet....

If you wake up while tossing and turning then stick the thermometer in your mouth, otherwise don't worry about it. My alarm was set for 7 this morning but I woke up at 6.30 (probably because I'm full of a cold) so I temped then and got exactly the same reading as I did at 7 yesterday.

Warning. Temping can drive you crazy. Barking even. You may have seen my post a few days ago when I'd found my thermometer in my bed as I'd been temping in my sleep? Well I woke up this morning and automatically reached for my thermometer and opened the app on my phone and it was only when I went to put in the temp I realised it was 4.44am!!!!

Still, shows that you don't need to think about it after a while.... I started temping after I'd passed the 6 month mark, which was last June, and because my cycles are so irregular I've continued since then (with the exception of a short break this cycle when I went in holiday and couldn't be bothered).

Another vote here for the Babymad one and for being a TTC control freak. I did an experiment the other weekend & took my temp at normal weekday time then went back to sleep, woke up about 3 hours later & took it again. It was about 0.5 degrees higher on the later temp which is quite a lot. I'm still not sure I'm willing to set an alarm for 6am on a weekend but I'll probably just note that those temps may not be reliable. The problem I have is that DP hates the alarm & fumbling for temping already & only on cycle 2! I like the way you see the chart develop each day as the numbers go in. Yes I'm a geek. And also on CD4 so boooooored...