TTC after MC - nice people in crap times, full of posifrickingtivity

Ooh positive things for the week ahead - I'm
trying out a free dance class on Monday night - first session is free. Really looking forward to doing something active.

Saggy Am so sorry that AF arrived, what a bitch. Massive hugs to you - and also to all the other ladies who are feeling bad today. I too am feeling really emotional and struggling to be positive - guess one week on I feel fine physically but the emotional side is still shitty, frustrating.

Lots of love x

fod I know exactly what you mean about talking to partner/husband about it - DH looks so dismayed and at a loss when I get really upset yet again, that I'm now trying to have meltdowns when he's not around (doesn't always work out though!) For him it was sad but it's in the past...so I don't think he totally understands how I can be SO upset sometimes still (and other times completely fine). To be honest I'm not sure I understand it either!!

I love the idea of a happy thing for the week ahead on a Sunday. I'm off for a massage on Monday night - at the moment I don't want to do something like acupuncture which to me would feel solely pregnancy-fixing focussed - because i would never hve considered it before. But i reckon an hour of massage can only be a good thing for general state of mind, helping with stress levels etc - and just a bit of it is about ttc (that's what I'm telling myself anyway!) Really looking forward to it. The woman who's doing it specialises in fertility etc so I can talk to her about things too.

Fod your daughter sounds like such a sweetie - bless her!!

I am bitter too - there are so many pregnancy and birth announcements and I honestly couldn't care less about them - how horrid am I - I'm just so jealous of them :-( the only time I never feel any jealously is when BFPs appear on here - here they just bring hope to me.

I'm off work in Wednesday and off for a nice lunch with friends - that the positive nice thing I'm focusing on this week xxx

fod I know, I'm bitter and twisted too - its horrid!

Its horrible to go through this at any age - age doesn't matter, its just that you shouldn't worry about your age - you've still got 5 years until the doctors even class you as an older mum ... both of my misscarriages have had nothing to do with my age - first one at 20 wks was a virus which I unfortunately caught in 2nd trimester and was of the unlucky 11% where it crossed the placenta, the 2nd one was just probably a chromosome mismatch, which happens to 1 in 4 women no matter what age... doubt any of this makes you feel better..., I always wanted to be a young mum .... but then was too busy doing other things.. still feel like I am a young mum though, until I meet really young mums ....

Treat yourself this week - have something to look forward to xxxxx (hugs)

Thanks for your support ladies I really do appreciate it, worse thing is I sat and cried alone last night for hours, couldn't bring myself to talk to DF as he thinks it's all behind us, it really isn't for me. My daughter heard my crying and left me a note saying " mummy I don't know why your crying but I love you and will help you through this" which of course made things worse
mummy of course I will, is there anything in particular you would like me to ask?

emki I'm just so worried about the age thing as im aware of the other complications that having a child later on can bring ( I hope that doesn't offend any ladies on here as I know your all going through so much already and I really envy your strength) this whole thing has really messed me up I used to be so positive and always had the " everything will be ok attitude" now I'm bitter depressed and twisted ;,(

thunder i hope the results say your levels are sorted ((hugs))

ummm well I hope AF is due at the end of the week - kinda looking forward to it as its taken soooo long and then I can start ttc (eek - scary) - though not looking forward to it as my hormones are all over the place so dreading it being very heavy ... might book to have a pedicure on Thursday after work ....

ref to my own post... I never enquire about whether people are trying for children.. just far too personal - my husband did it once to a friend of mine who had had cancer - I couldn't believe it - he even knew that it was very unlikely for her to have any eggs left after chemo - ggrrrr!!! He never enquires anymore .... PEOPLE DO NOT THINK!!!!

I have thought that at least now, if my DD or anyone I know goes through this I just hope I will be able to say and do the right things because ive now been through it - though obviously hope it never comes to that

emki that is very good advice. Maybe we should all post on a Sunday a good thing for the week ahead?

I'm going to sound weird but mine is my blood test this week- more information about blood levels is a good thing for me, and it's the only thing I work towards until I get them to the right place.

fod missed your post sorry AF arrived and I totally understand, I think to myself often that I feel alone, no one understands, I feel people think it all happened so long ago she must be fine now.... I just think to myself that I never understood what people felt like, I probably said insensitive things too without realised it - fod it will happen and I promise you that the fact you're turning 30 is nothing to worry about - I didn't have DD till I was 35 - make sure you do something nice today. Maybe that's the way - all have something, a massage, acupunture, somehting to look forward to each week ....

Fod - if you do go to the drs will you report back to us? DH wants us to go this month if there is no BFP but I'm so worried about being fobbed off :-( I might write all my info down (as I find you spend most of the appt giving them your history) and all the questions I have and see if that works - I almost feel like you have one appt to get through to them before they write you off as a hypochondriac!! X

Ps any more talk of it being too late for second children at the age of 30 and I will properly sob!!

Tough days here, really sorry ladies who are having a tricky time. sag so sorry the bitch got you. In one of my first cycles after mc I was convinced I was pg. had all the symptoms. Nature is so bloody cruel. 5 cycles on I now know that no 'symptoms' are reliable for me- I think the only thing I will [hmmm] at is if my boobs get sooooo sore that even looking at them hurts.

fod yep I've had the pink water, I've had most colours, textures, you name it. Back to 'normal' now though. I reckon it is still things settling down.

Saggy well done for having a mission and well done for going to work and totally agree - all on this thread are amazing!

I'm sitting down to prep for tomorrow at work - DH and DD have gone out for the day, still savage PMT and crying but did make myself a bubble bath last night and put a face mask on etc to try and make myself feel better - it did work and felt a bit more in control last night.

birdsdoit I'm so sorry you're surrounded with pregnancies, its so hard to have any self preservation - my boss's wife is pregnant too - same EDD as last mc and the woman across the road has the same edd as my last mc - they weren't even trying... it was an accident - just want to lock myself away and then appear when I have a baby. I know people at work are wondering when they will see a bump as I had my first mc at 20 wks last year so they all know that I was pregnant and want to have another.

Ladies - this is not going to be forever! This is a shit time and will be over - its just taking longer than any of us expected. We're also grieving so must be kind to ourselves..... Around this time next year would be lovely to give birth - it will be sunny and warm so anytime in the next few months to get a BFP would be great even though i want it to be asap but must relax like everyone says

love and hugs to you all and here's to BFP in June, July and August ASAP-

Thanks for that Mummy. I think we are ALL awesome.

I'm throwing myself into 5:2. I've done 2 weeks so far. It's brilliant! I find the fast days really easy, and I know that the next day I can eat normally, so I don't get the usual dieting obsession for all if the things I can't have. I do have an idea that it might have contributed to the queasiness, but I'm going to ignore it and just keep going.

I too failed my diet last night and had Chinese followed by two slices of cheesecake

Oh saggy, fod sorry she appeared :(

Seems like everyone's having it tough at the moment!

Well I failed on my first day of eating healthily after eating fruit, veg and only drinking water and a herbal tea we ended up going out and getting drunk! Back on my fruit for breakfast this morning and a run later. Good luck with the run mummy!

BDI thanks for your comment it's really really tough and it's made so much harder by people that just don't understand thats the hardest thing, it's still a bereavement at the end of the day and if we had lost someone close to us people would understand that, however it seems so insignificant to everyone else and that's whats really soil destroying.
saggy I really feel for you I really do, it's horrible this putting a face on for the world whilst we are crumbling away inside, your just left with this feeling of longing and emptiness
mummy my body is exactly the same, I'm going to see the dr on wed I think because I simply can't carry on thinkin ' it will return to normal eventually' simply because I don't believe that to be true. Plus after my awful post op experience I'm pretty sure sonethings gone wrong down there

Saggy - I think you are awesome - I know that doesn't help get a BFP but I hope it helps generally my lovely :-) xxxx

I am an idiot :-( I POAS and it was a massive bfn - why oh why did I do it - all hope I had has evaporated!! I am only 12dpo and didn't use FMU but I just feel this is turning into a wtf cycle - just when I felt like I was getting into a rhythm and recognising what my body was trying to tell me.

On a more positive note I am going to start the couch to 5k today - I'm going to be brave and get out there and not worry about whether people are looking at me or what I look like doing it (well try not to anyway!!) xxx

Ok folks so this is my second cycle post mc (if you can call it that) I'm passing what can only be described as pink water, I'm getting really worried I think sonethings really wrong down there

Smile pinned on, apron tied. Here goes...

Sitting in my work van, got to start in 5 minutes, crying and trying to get my shit together.

Ps. guffsmuggler I agree, totally in awe of those people who have been dealing with this for a while and still keeping it together. I'm 3 weeks post-ERPC and not even properly TTC yet (just doing it when the fancy takes us, and god knows when AF is due to turn up, trying not to think about it too much) so still very early on this somewhat crappy journey and I'm already finding it pretty exhausting! You're all amazing. Thank goodness for this thread.

Oh fod don't cry! Or rather do cry but don't despair. It's so horrible isn't it. But at 29, time is definitely still on your side - loads of people I know had their first in their thirties. Though I do know it doesn't help to think that when really you're just so sad for the one that didn't make it. Big hug. I hope you had a good sleep and are feeling better this morning.

Looking back at my post last night, sorry about lack of posifrickintivity (which my phone's predictive text now recognises, brilliant, it's become an official word!) - I always seem to crash a bit (or a lot) in the evening.

saggy how are you doing? And santa?

topslou Rome sounds fab, am very jealous! We're off to a nice hotel on the coast for the bank holiday weekend - not quite Rome but still can't wait! Also trying to persuade DH to book a fun adventurous outdoorsy holiday that we couldn't have done if pregnant - though slightly stymied by what if I do get pregnant again? Hmm. What have other people done about this? Any genius ideas? Scuba diving obviously out if I'm up the duff...However am unwilling to settle for a week in Normandy with DH's extended family ( who are really lovely, and it will be great fun, but sunshine hardly guaranteed...also, there will be babies).

There's a lot of people really struggling here and I just wanted to say, it really is totally shit, this whole thing .

I have only been here and few weeks and am in awe at how you ladies who have been here a long time keeping going and getting up after being knocked down again. The whole thing is so hard and emotionally draining.

It's ok to feel crap and have a good cry when you need to and then we'll pick you up again to get back on the TTC rollercoaster.
xxx