Vomit phobia

DG I've spoken to an analyst for a number of years and previously had CBT and I have all kinds of possible explanations as to why I have this fear - loss of control (I imagine it might go on forever if I started being sick or it might suddenly come out of nowhere in a terrible situation where I'd hate it to happen), fear of humiliation (other people's disgust), well lots of things. It's hard to see the wood for the trees as I've had it for as long as I can remember. Anyway, for me, alas, having possible explanations hasn't got rid of the phobia. Aversion therapy I couldn't face and anyway I have been sick a couple of times since being pregnant and it hasn't cured me, just the opposite it's given me new memories to be tortured by.

On the subject of others with bugs, DG, I feel like you, I get very cross that people might 'expose' me. I was meant to meet up with a friend and her dd today in fact but her dd was sick on Thursday, nothing too awful from the sound of it and my friend said they were all better and fine to meet. I called it off, even if her dd is better she might be harbouring the bug. UGH. I'd spend the next week totally starving myself if we'd met up.

naswm, I was pertrified of going to the Christmas meet up & propably wouldn't have braved it if it wasn't for the fact that my friend (also a MN'er) came along with me to hold my hand!
As it happened it was fine, everyone was really lovely & I really enjoyed it.
I now feel fine about going to meet ups alone!

Oh no now I am freaking out. Just heard that the teenager that both DSs played with yesterday at tea time (rough and tumble, cuddles etc, very close contact) has been ill since last night. panic has set in.

you are barve girls . I couldn't cope with a meet up. (And I'm in London btw). And DG isn't down south any more fwiw. Got to back to the cleaning...

Hope you can make it - it would be great to meet you.

There seem to loads of MN'ers in London, don't there?
Most of the MN'ers I talk to come from London too.
I find London a bit scary on my own, especially the tube! I live in Kent (around a 1.5 -2hr drive away from London), but am feeling quite determined that I am going to brave this meet up alone with the boys, as I really enjoyed the Christmas one. Might pay out for a cab rather than use the tube though!

Oh yes I would love to come as coming to London in itself would be great as we have never been but meeting everyone from Mumsnet would be an added bonus. We are thinking of making a weekend of it tbh, it would have been nice to come on my own with the kids as I have noticed not that many will be taking their partners but don't think I dare brave the big city on my own

Am looking forward to meeting so many people on here as the people I seem to talk to on Mumsnet or get on with are all from London apart from Dumbledoresgirl but she's down south too.

Yes better get my bum in gear and start sorting out somewhere to stay.

It seems we do!
This is the first time I have openly admitted it though. I guess I want to come across as a Mum who copes, when actually I'm not!
Are you going to try & get to the summer meet up?

Can't believe you have the same phobia as me Blueteddy, I think we have a lot in common

I can empathise with you, Ellbell. I would be feeling very anxious too.
I went round to visit a friend a few weeks back & she mentioned that she had been sick the previous night. She thought it was food poisioning, but all I kept thinking was "What if it is a bug?" & was paranoid for the next few days that I would come down with it.
Not sure where my phobia comes from. I remember not really having a problem until the age of 8, when I saw my younger sister vomit all over the carpet & it really frightened me.
The last time I was sick (when I was a child), I also felt panicked that I would suffocate.
I am slightly claustrophobic too & quite a panicky person (I have had spells of panic attacks), so maybe these things are all related.

I have a fear of flying too and not too keen on taking the kids swimming either oh and I don't like spiders but would not consider them phobias though, just mild fear.

I don't worry about catching bugs off other people really as I was told that the only way you can actually catch bugs is you actually come into contact with them through touch or when the actual vomit itself comes into contact with you, as there are airborne molecules in the air.

Mind you I did catch a bug a couple of weeks ago and I don't know where I caught it, am quite obsessive over details of how and why you catch bugs too.

That should say (third paragraph) in normal life.

Oh Ellbell, yes I would be feeling as anxious as you if that situation. I become very aggressive in the face of my phobia (again not nice when it is one of my children feeling sick as I shout at them a lot, although I do seem to go into a sort of overdrive when they are actually being sick and, as long as it is into the loo or a bucket etc, I can do the comforting thing). Anyway, in the case of your friend, I would be inwardly very angry with her for going out and mixing with me and putting me in danger of catching something from her. I wouldn't express my anger to her, but I might hint at it to another one in the group. I seriously think my attitude to vomiting is one of the things that stops me making friendshiiiips, and re-reading what I have just written, I am not surprised!

Re other phobias. Yes, I am claustrophobic, but it is not in anyway severe, ie I can go in lifts with no problems although I suppose I experience a very low level of anxiety if they are very full. Basicaly my claustrophobia is such that I wouldn't go pot holing and I don't like it when, in play, one of my children puts a blanket over my head (although I often sleep with the blankets over me!) I hate tight clothes getting stuck over my head as I am taking them off, and I do find I panic in games like blind man's bluff (not that I play that as an adult, but remembering back to a child!) as somehow a blindfold makes me feel like I am suffcating.

I don't want to be too graphic and upset the likes of naswm (hello BTW!) but thinking about it, one of the things I hate about vomiting is the sense of suffocation so maybe these phobias are related. Also, in normal like, I am very controlling, so that part fits me too.

Do any of you feel that if you could talk theis phobia through and really analyse what it is about and why you have it, that might help you start to be cured? Has anyone had that sort of therapy before? What is it called, does anyone know? I feel there are false connections being made in my brain that make me fear the whole vomiting thing, and I feel that if the connections could be identified and somehow addressed, I might be all right.

Ellbell you poor thing. I can empathise with you totally. I would have felt exactly the same as you did last night. I hope you feel lightly better this morning. I know it will take time. What I do at times like that is to keep telling myself over and over that my thoughts and worries are irrational, and that I will be okay. Even if the worst happens. But I know from where are sitting this morning that is probably little comfort for your nervous, anxious state. Hang in there and report back. I have not read all this thread (as I cant deal with too much detail) but I am watching it and scan each post to see if it is safe for me to read. lol. big hug naswm x

Hiya

I am also a closet emetophobe, and have been watching this thread with interest.

I'm not as terrified as some on this thread, but I do go into panic mode if sick is mentioned. Just wanted to post tonight as have been for a rare night out with some other mums from dd's nursery. Just as we were leaving one of the mums mentioned that she had been sick last night in the night (I'd still be in bed at this stage if it was me!) and was feeling a bit queasy (this was after a full meal and several glasses of wine). I am now terrified and know that I'm going to be feeling nauseous for the next couple of days knowing that I've been sitting next to her all evening. Stupid, I know, but I hope some of you will understand.

My dds do understand that I'm not good with puke. Dd2 has had a couple of bugs recently and has got quite good at aiming at the loo and flushing it away afterwards. I wish I could be more empathetic, but I really can't.

Anyway, just had to offload about my stress-making evening out. I know dh won't understand why I'm worried.

No I don't have anyother phobias, I did have a problem with lifts for a while but I seemed to have got over that one too, just stopped being something I worried about.

So no, no other irrational or obsesive behaviours, but then the sick thing with me was never a hygeine thing it was just a gagging thing.

DG, I know it will get harder when dd's at school full-time. At the moment she's only there for the morning and they're not so strict about taking time off.

Just out of interest here, do any of you have any other phobias / fears? I'm quite agoraphobic. And I get bothered with obsessive thoughts of something terrible happening to dd. It was worst when she was a baby, I'd lie awake for hours imagining someone grabbing her, her falling in the lake in the park, etc. etc. Even now I find my mind wandering to such troubling scenarios.

I'm asking because i'm curious to see if this phobia is part of a generally obsessive-type of temperament. There's so little written about it from a psychological perspective, like why do we have it, what's it's really all about, etc. The only thing I really come up with again and again is that it's to do with control and fear of loss of control. Although i feel it's something much more than that as well.

I am totally with you DG - my husband works away sometimes, too. I only poop myself about the sick thing. Otherwise, I love it, TBH - nice to have peace to do nothing if I want. But I would love the fortune telling thing - to know the kids will be fine so I can enjoy some time to myself. The reality is that I am awake all night, jump at the slightest noise etc. And that is knowing Mum will come if I need her. Aaaaaaargh!

Oh DG I do feel sorry for you, I cannot imagine having to cope on my own for that long and I know what you mean about being able to see into the future, I think like that too.

I have stayed with my sister when DP has worked away in the past but I hate staying at other people's houses, I like my own house where I feel the safes and I know that ultimately if my kids are ill no matter where we are they will always want me to comfort them if DP is not around not anyone else.

martian, would do that only my children are aged between nearly 10 and 3 so at school etc. You keep doing that while you can, even with the tough journey. Everything gets harder once they start school.

DG, I think it's a bloody awful phobia. I mean you can avoid 'spiders' but how can you avoid stomachs???!!

Whenever dp has to go away I go to my mum's which is a pain as she's a 3-hour train ride away and the train journey is very stressful to do alone with dd. But better than being home alone ...

Pity me Cd then: my dh is about to go to China and will be away for 9 nights. I am in a complete funk about it now and he hasn't even gone yet. And all because a child might be sick. Nothing else abotu being on my own worries me. In fact, if someone from the future could come and tell me now that everyone was going to be fine for the next 2 weeks, I would probably even enjoy the time on my own.

I suppose everyone feels their phobia is the worst, but I really do think I drew the short straw when I got this one.

Same here Martian, he makes it sound like its nothing when in fact is a big deal for us.

He's got so much better than when we first met though and he's always been there for the kids. He lets them puke down his back so he can cuddle them.....think that is disgusting.

My dp knows I have this phobia although I do hide from him how badly it affects me because it gets on his nerves that I'm such a neurotic about it all the time. Mostly I keep it to myself. But it's a lonely struggle at times.