TTC 10 + months, part 14 (eek)

Oh Rabbit crap about spotting. Have you tried progesterone, I can't remember. In my old thread reading last night I found a post from Sar. She had pm'd someone who had good day 21 bloods but always spotted for 3 days before AF, and got pregnant first month on cyclogest. If this cycle doesn't work I'm going to procure me some more as I'm convinced the spotting is a problem. I think mine drops off a cliff too quickly.

Well done on the sewing though. I am keeping up with the knitting and doing a blanket just now for the cat but hoping to knit something for nieces and nephews soon :)

Mrsd - I'm so sorry it's a bfn. None of this is fair. I agree with sar that the way to protect yourself is to think it didn't work this time but if af stays away perhaps there is a chance. This is shit. I hope mrd is looking after you.

Zippy - I did a lot of research on clomid when I took it for super ovulation IUI. Like you I was already ovulating every month and not convinced I needed it. It can make you ovulate "stronger". As for going for it with 3 follies. I would go for it. There is a risk if triplets but I think 3 is okay. Anymore and I would avoid.

Another A+++ announcement, this time

I understand the mood swings Mad, I'm the same. Though I'm being quick to pinch out the negative thoughts as they piss me off!!

Sar as always you put things so eloquently and comfortingly. Hurray but also boo to the pukiness being back. Your advice to MrsD was spot on I think even though I will be watching this space carefully

MrsDen yes I did. There is still a ludicrously faint line. Each day I say "oh it's so faint" and the next day it's fainter! So every day I think hmm well maybe yesterday was the last of the drugs and today is real. Idiot. I did get momentarily excited last night. I checked back to my postings from my last cycle and I had tested 5 days after the booster shot, and had no line. As I had a line yesterday (also 5 days) I got excited. But I told myself the shot was 5 hours later than last time, so that was probably why I still got a positive this time. Doesn't explain today though (not really, I know it's still working its way out, but I'm surprised at home long such a small dose takes to go.)

That's brilliant about the sewing rabbit. I have my newest fabric sitting out in the front room but not sure what to do with it. it will be a quilt but the patterns are a bit challenging to work with..... you have inspired me to tackle it :)

Sorry you're feeling sick sar. Just keep telling yourself it is a good sign and only temporary. Big hugs xx

Hurray for vomiting sar! How's your news settling in?

Rabbit -sorry for the spotting. But its great to see how ready yoy are for iui, and that mental readiness is so important.

Den - really sorry about the bfn. My advice is to asume you are out and focus on lovely distracting things. There is of course still a chance of getting a bfp but as someone who had 3 consecutive bfns with 3 ivf cycles I know the dangling feeling is to much to bare. If af stays away then great. That wil be wonderful. But in order to feel ok about things just put it all out of your head for now and feel proud of yourself for having the courage to march bravely in to ivf. Most first cycles don't produce babies. But wow -you two know you can easily produce embryos and that is most of the battle. This is not over yet. Focus on the lovely day ahead. Breath in that warm air, cry if you want to. Who knows what the next few days will bring. But right now you are ok and you know it is a matter of time only until you get your baby.

Zippy -I would go for it. Life has a habit of sorting itself out. Exciting times.

Nelly -dreams are fears often not just prophecies. Hang in there. I admire your positive attitude.

Hello to all, my vomiting has come back with avengance. Spoke too soon.

Madness gosh time goes slowly in ivf twws. I so hope we get five bfps and fuck the stats.

madness yesterday I made a top I actually want to wear! In ttc news I started spotting yesterday at 9dpo. Poor dusty old eggs. I haven't even been a scrap sad. I have 95% given up hope of a natural bfp after all this time. I want someone else to take it off my hands. Still waiting for iui appointment though

I am having huge mood swings mrsd. One minute happy and optimistic, imagining finally being able to phone my family with the good news, then miserable and convinced that it hasn't worked. only on day flipping 6 though so too early for symptoms and i just have to sit it out.....

Zippy, I'd go for it too. Although, I'm sure that's how the Walton sextuplets were conceived so it does happen.

Nelly, have you poas today?

Mad, how are you coping with the wait? It's torture!

Oh mrsd i totally get why you want to rule it in or out but lots of normals don't get a positive before day 14. Go easy on yourself today and gardening therapy sounds like a very good plan. will be thinking of you xx

Waves to rabbit. How are you??

nelly miserable dreams are just not on! I am ordering your subconscious to give it a rest [stern emoticon]

Oh zippy that is a dilemma! I think i would go for it and then panic the rest of the month about triplets

zippy me too, I'd go for it. I can't remember how long you've been trying, sorry. But for me, the egg and sperm have been given 25 (!) chances to get it on and have shunned each other. The chances of all three doing it seem small (if it were me) and I'd take on twins. I understand its a cautious decision though.

Big wave nelly I think you are doing amazingly. Optimism is a good approach. I will remember this because you are so right that either way, whenever I get my period I'm pissed off. So I may as well keep the hope, it is a happier place to be. I think your grumblings are a good sign and I'm crossing EVERYTHING for you.

I may as well do the gradual catch up in stages. critter how's the aches? Hope you're ok. And madness I'm so glad you are PUPO. I'm imagining buzzy somewhere sunny and sending lots of love.

Also Zippy thank you for whatever the footie equivalent of cheer leading is! I'm sorry Clomid doesn't look like the answer for you. On the question of sex. On balance, I'd probably risk it, if it were me, mainly as the follies are different sizes. But that's such a personal decision. And we know how Sod does love to mess with us.

Critter your embies are doing so well. You must feel so proud . Glad you are starting to feel better. I hope ET can go ahead tomorrow.

Waves to everyone else.

MrsDen I checked the thread as soon as I woke up. So sorry about the BFN. . As Rabbit says it could be too early, but I know that sometimes it's easier to deal with it as a "certainty", to get some closure. Constantly swinging from high to low can be exhausting. Will you test again before Wednesday? Huge hugs. Your day sounds lovely.

I dreamt last night I woke up to AF. Luckily I didn't, but it has unnerved me a little. Time to find some distractions I think.

If there's pink this is good! I'd be tempted to do another..apologies if not being helpful!

I'll have the blood test on wed so there will be confirmation then. My extensive googling research reveals that lines after 10 mins should be ignored, it does have the slightest pink though but it's so faint and wasn't there to start with.

Oh den, faint lines are tricky beasts. It could just be too early but I understand not wanting to think that to protect yourself. I will remain hopeful on your behalf. If no af, you never know..

Thanks rabbit. I'm ok, it's what I expected. It's a beautiful day so I'm going to spend it pottering in the garden and planting hanging baskets, good therapy! I used one of those ultra sensitive tests and I'm 13dpo so it must be over. I stupidly checked the test again after an hour and there is the faintest of lines, you can only see it if you hold it to the light. Dh can see it but we both think it must be an evap line. There was nothing there in the first 10 mins.

Critter, your embies sound like they're doing amazingly well. Good luck for transfer. Sorry that you've been feeling rotten though.

There is loads I want to say to everyone on here and ill be back later but here is a huge hug den I'm so sorry. Cry, be cross, spoil yourself and know that this will pass. Remember the wise words of euro - battle not war. I'm around today if you want to post more on here.

I have felt so much for all you two week waiters. Big luffs, ill be back.

Bfn

zippy Hmm. If you're already ovulating, I don't know why they're giving you clomid - apart from that it's cheap and the first of the fertility drugs they dole out when you dip your toe into the world of medicalised ttc. Blurred vision isn't good - I had visual disturbances on clomid and the nurse in my clinic said I should not be getting that side effect. I'd push for an explanation as to why you are being given clomid, given that ovulation is not the problem. Don't let them fob you off!

sar oh honey I am sorry for the A+ announcement. I can imagine that even though you're pregnant, it all must feel very fragile given what you've been through. No symptoms isn't a bad thing - art had no symptoms and look where she's at! And I hear every pregnancy is different. Thanks for your reassurance about the 'wasted' embies.

mrsd I will be thinking of you tomorrow when you test. You must be so incredibly nervous. I have everything tightly crossed for happy happy news.

nelly and mad Hooray for sunshine! I think it's great that you're both being optimistic. It can't hurt to have hope, and it can only be a good thing for your little embies to be showered in positive thoughts and love. Wishing with all my might that the two little Scottish beans are tightly tucked in.

lemon I'm so glad you've had a nice day. A cycle ride and home-cooked tea sound perfect. And a good haircut always makes me feel better about life.

Thanks everyone for being so nice about my bloatedness. Yesterday I felt like Violet Beauregard in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, needing to be rolled off to the juicing room. My doctor did say OHSS was a risk and the clinic just said they'd check me on Monday before the transfer and cancel and freeze if it's still bad. But I think I'm starting to feel a little better this afternoon - I have barely been out of the house (except to waddle slowly to see a friend a couple of blocks away who has a beautiful 7 month old ICSI baby girl) but have been doing a bit of cleaning and reading and drinking lots of tomato juice and water. I hope it will go down by Monday so I can have the transfer. I think I'm just going to do one embie. My usual lovely doctor is on holiday so apparently there's another one doing it, famed for his gruff bedside manner. But so long as he doesn't balls it up I don't mind. I got another call from the clinic today - one embie had 'degenerated' (which made me think of it drinking gin in a corner), but there are four 4 cells, three 6 cells, three 7 cells, two 8 cells and a 9 cell. So fingers crossed I will be able to freeze some for the next round.

Ooh forgot to say (sorry it's all mememe) my womb lining was between 5.2mm and 5.4mm (optimal is 7mm) but with my short cycles maybe there hasn't been enough time for it to thicken? She said it wasn't the end of the world and said more important was the appearance of the lining and that mine (triple layer) was perfect. Was very chuffed with that

So much to catch up on!

Sweet lovely lovely lovely news. Huge congrats Really sweet about your dog being so protective too.

Joy I thought about you today when I was out shopping with my sister. In 2 shops I drifted over to the baby shoe section and lingered a little... I really felt like I wanted to buy a pair, in the hope that they would act like a lucky rabbits foot, but stopped short. It was just too weird. I at MrJoy having you committed. I think I'd have committed myself if I'd bought them!
I agree with you that visualisation can't fix whatever the issue is with us either. My sister actually got quite outraged on my behalf when we were chatting about it earlier. The suggestion that I am in some way to blame for our infertility because of the way I think is obviously so wrong. If the power of the mind were so effective then I've spent as much time willing myself to get pregnant as I have been terrified of it (yes, I fear it too in a way....I think that's probably common..).
Oh also wanted to say that I think anger is one of the 5 stages of grief. You had a mc not so long ago. Be good to yourself as you work through the emotions. Big hug.

Pout thinking about your clear out recently and feeling a little the same. I have a little baby grow MrBopit bought before my mc and wondering if it's a bad omen too. Think I'll bin it. Did your tooth problem get fixed?

MrsDen I feel for you (5th baby!) My cousin just had her 4th child too. It's so unbalanced and feels so unfair sometimes. She has only made lovely comments on facebook though about how blessed she is so she's forgiven for being so ruddy fertile When are you testing?

Sar Lovely to hear about the heartbeat Sorry to hear about the announcement though. It was interesting you still had that reaction even in your lovely diffed state. Glad you are feeling a little better but don't read too much into that in a negative way. I think lots of changes are normal. You may swap nausea for some other side-effect!

Hey Ramona fellow clomid buddy . Well I had a little panic after taking the 1st pill, an 'oh god what have I done, my ovaries are gonna explode!' kind of panic (such a drama queen), but apart from ovary twinges (wind?) and some blurry vision on day 2 (tiredness?) I've been just fine. Have you had your scan yet? Oh, and hope you're enjoying your bonk holiday weekend

Madness was thinking about your wee rant about your mum and I think people who haven't experienced the anguish of ttc for ages just put their foot in it without thinking. They underestimate the emotional impact of infertility on our lives, they have no idea really. We do, so big hug. Hope you've forgiven her

Critter wow all 14 fertilised! Can you freeze some for baby number 14 2? Sorry you are feeling bloated and hoping you are being monitored and it gets better soon.

Euro did you opt for natural ivf or was it offered? Is is no drugs at all? I'm very curious. I've not had a detailed ivf chat at the clinic yet but will keep this in mind when I do.

Buzzy you and Barry are so sweet. It's lovely that you worry about him and it's lovely that he's so positive for you. I hope everything is going well for your imminent ivf. You will make wonderful parents. Btw I'd love a sex holiday too. Even MrBopit is at the stage where a cup of tea is massively more appealing

Nelly at your secret posting in the loos. I get your logic on the daily testing and I'm loving your positivity too. When I think about your outcome I feel like a really passionate football fan who never misses a game sitting on the sidelines roaring 'COME ONNN!!!' It has to happen for you and that's that. I'm willing it to happen. (GET IN THERE!!) Ok. I've stopped

Well I had my day 10 tracking scan for the Clomid today (although today is day 8, they took me early because I am an early ovulator). It showed 3 follicles at 15ish, 17 and 21mm. Too much of a response so I have been told to cut my 50mg tablets in half for next month (they don't do a 25mg tablet) and to go back next month again for another tracking scan. All of this is really solidifying my belief that lack of ovulation is not our issue and taking clomid is a little pointless.

Anyhoo she said that had there been any more than 3 follicles she would have told me under no circumstances to have sex this month. As it is, she gave me a scary speech about the risk of triplets (premature babies with learning difficulties and extended stays for me in hospital during pregnancy is all I can remember - yikes) and said that it was a very real risk and I should give very careful consideration before having sex this month.

Part of me thinks what are the chances? We've been trying for years. Why would MrBopits bits and my eggs suddenly get their shit together and do what they're supposed to do!! ? 3 times in the same month!! It's so unlikely. Yet...
Any thoughts / opinions welcome. Hmm...sensibly wait until next months scan and enjoy the sex holiday... or jump on MrBopit the minute he gets back from work in...2 hours

Sorry, long post. Will try to check in more regularly with shorter ones! Waves to everyone I've missed