The big fat posifrickintivity, but only on a friday thread - TTC after MC and not lose your head

I agree, think you'll be scared no matter what.
i can't even dtd yet, but the thought of getting a bfp scares me. I imagine being very excited but horribly scared and nervous at the same time. And sort of feeling a little bit sick from the conflicting emotions.

I reckon that I might get even worse if I left it longer.
Which is why the thought of getting a bfn scares me too. Which is why I keep reminding myself again and again that it's the most likely scenario since I'll be away all next week and i'm sure you are all sick of reading it too since i've written this here so many times

icklem I also agree with IBelieve and Spanish - I think you'll be anxious in any case when you get pg next time! I know that that's the case for me. My EPRC was in January, and I am currently waiting for AF - there is a chance I could be pg now, and as much as I want it, at the same time it scares the hell out of me.
The sad truth is that once you've experienced the heartbreak of a mc, I don't think that you'll ever be able to relax and enjoy being pregnant, because you know what can happen...

But if you feel physically up for it, I'd say, take the plunge!
Good luck

Thanks for the reply & words of wisdom. It's funny how we can give the advice but never take our own!

Congratulations on your pregnancy & here's wishing you all the love & luck in the world for a healthy, happy little bean :)

cross posts sorry!

re stress - I certainly dont want to downplay stress and its impact on pregnancy but the way I see it there must be people out there who are pregnant and under enormous stress and still carry to full term - what about pregnant drug addicts, pregnant women in developing countries who walk miles for water etc all examples of what we would consider less them optimum scenarios for pregnancy but they still have babies - if stress was such a factor then surely to goodness there would be alot more pregnancies failing as we all have stress in one way or another.

long way to say please dont fear your very understandable anxiety is going to impact a pregnancy - I wish I could switch of mine!

I agree with Ibelieve - lets face it you are likely to feel anxious when pregnant again anyway - I didnt know I was ovulating (in fact thought I already had and so was 'safe') when I dtd after my MC and now Im pregnant again I always have this nagging fear at the back of my mind that I try to ignore that its going to happen again - bet I'd feel like that even if this was months after my MC - now I have experienced it is always present ):

If I lose this one I do wonder if two losses in such quick sucession would impact me greater then if I had had a break between the pregnancies but then I think the 'stress' of waiting to get pregnant again only to lose it woudl be a different blow - either way you look at it there are downsides.

whats your gut feeling?

Perfect reply Ibelieve. It is just fear. Physically I'm good, no more bleeding & actually this last week I've felt very positive. I'm just plain scared & I know it seems irrational but I'm scared my fear will have a psychological effect on any future developing baby. Told you I found nuts!! DH always says I stress to much & over analyse. Just need to chill out dont I? Got until 7pm when DD goes to bed to decide whether to DTD - very romantic & spontaneous aren't I?!! :)

Alyant79 1 DD 1MC - TTC cycle 0 (next week)
Bodicea: 0DC, 2MC, cycle 3 post erpc - BFP
Booty: 0DC, 1MC (oct12), TTC cycle 3 - poas 15/03/12 eek
BumpKitty: 1 DD 1MC - TTC cycle 3 - BFP
Camomile 0DC, 1MC, TTC cycle 0
Fod: 1DS 1DD 1MC TTC 0 cycle
Ickle:1 DD 1 MMC TTC Cycle 0
Janie: 0DC, 1MC (oct12), TTC cycle 3 - poas 15/03/12 eek
JBrd: 1 DS, 1 MC, cycle 1, AF/BFP due March 15/16 (according to my calculations) or March 12
jmf294: 1DS, 1DD, 1MC, TTC Cycle 2 post MC
Lucky13: 1DS 2MC, TTC cycle 5 post MC
MrsSpencerReid 1DS 1MC cycle 0
Mummytothearkbuilder 1DS 1MC TTC cycle 0
SaggyOldClothCatpuss 1DS 1DD 1MC -TTC cycle 1 POAS March 29
Santa 1 DC 2 MCs TTC cycle 0 (i.e. before first AF after ERPC)
Shellshock7 2MCs 1 DS - TTC cycle 3 - BFP
SpanishLady: 1 DS, 1MC, TTC Cycle 0 - BFP (before first AF post MC)
Woot: 2MC TTC cycle 0 {???}
Zeu 1DD 1mc cycle 1 bfp due 11th April

Hello woot - i'm not sure whether the OPKs will work this cycle - as with saggy, we just started DTD and have managed every other day since, in the hope that's enough. Will do the full on CBFM after AF arrives for DC3 (sorry, forgot the posifrickitivity there, obviously AF is NOT going to get me as I shall be pg on this cycle in fact I probably already am pg)

Hello baking - I agree, I think the appt will help you. After all, whatever they find, then it will allow you to make a fully informed decision whether to try again knowing where you stand. I hope its not too much of a drawn out process though.

Do you think you can ov over multiple days (multiple eggs?) - usually I can tell I'm ov by my horniness quotient, which often manifests itself in having inappropriate thoughts about male colleagues/friends (note: I am a happily married woman and would never dream of cheating). I found myself gazing at a male colleagues eyelashes today. They're soooooo beautiful. I wanted to reach out and touch them. This is not normal behaviour.

Icklems, I was exactly the same. I tried waiting longer after 1 mc, and didn't wait at all after 2nd mc. I was still terrified when I found out last week I am pg. I don't think that will ever change, now you have been through it, sadly the fear will always be there.

What I mean is, don't let the fear hold you back. If there are other practical reasons why you feel you shouldnt, or you are too sad at the moment, then wait. But if it is just being scared, that may be around for a while unfortunately, so go for it.

Hope that helps. Reading it back I'm not sure if it does, but my brain is a bit like cake at the moment so can't think how to say it better! :)

& can I add to list?

1 DD 1 MMC TTC Cycle 0

2 weeks today since ERPC, just did ovulation test & got 2 equal lines. Now just got to decide whether to DTD or wait til I have AF. Thought I wanted to conceive straight away but now it's happening I'm worried about getting pregnant (well not that, but miscarrying again). Sound nuts don't I?!!!

Found you be back later

Hi I'm doing smep too! It promises 40% conception rate post mc

Good luck with the tests baking

bakingtins glad you found us here again.
The appointment tomorrow sounds like a positive thing to do. At the very least it would be nice to have some answers. I really really hope that you find them helpful.

So jmf the sperm meets egg plan is, in summary, have sex and lots of it.
sounds reasonable
might just try it

Good to see you BakingTins.

Hi everyone. I'll have a bit of your posifrickingtivity, if I may?

Had a really good chat with DH yesterday and we've decided to take up the offer of a private recurrent miscarriage investigation appointment tomorrow. We're both unsure at the moment if we will TTC again but I'm clear that I need to have investigated the possibilities before we give up hope. I think you have to be at least 6 weeks post MC for some of the tests but we can at least get the ball rolling. I don't have the time or the inclination to do another 6-12m TTC, MC again and then the NHS will help us when I'll be nearly 40. They're bound to say then it's my age and they can't help.

Hope to see lots more BFPs on this thread. Good luck to you all...

Ooh Fertile Friday is fast approaching - I did some decorating yesterday so that's nesting right?! Ha ha! Heading for a splat!

Re OPK's I've used Clear Blue on first wee and Internet cheapies later in the day around 5pm - both registered something ;o)

See ya Friday peeps - be there, be preggers!

POSIFRICKINTIVITY and then some

No idea. We just started DTD as soon as possible, every other day.

Hi everyone, I've jumped over to this new thread. May I ask a question? How long after your MC did you all ovulate?

I had a MC on 18/12/12 and don't think I ovulated after, then
AF 20/01/13
Ovulated 05/02/13
BFP 18/02/13
MC 04/03/13

wondering when to start testing and really not wanting to miss it!!

Thank you x

Added myself to the list:

Alyant79 1 DD 1MC - TTC cycle 0 (next week)
Bodicea: 0DC, 2MC, cycle 3 post erpc - BFP
Booty: 0DC, 1MC (oct12), TTC cycle 3 - poas 15/03/12 eek
BumpKitty: 1 DD 1MC - TTC cycle 3 - BFP
Camomile 0DC, 1MC, TTC cycle 0
Fod: 1DS 1DD 1MC TTC 0 cycle
Janie: 0DC, 1MC (oct12), TTC cycle 3 - poas 15/03/12 eek
JBrd: 1 DS, 1 MC, cycle 1, AF/BFP due March 15/16 (according to my calculations) or March 12
jmf294: 1DS, 1DD, 1MC, TTC Cycle 2 post MC
Lucky13: 1DS 2MC, TTC cycle 5 post MC
MrsSpencerReid 1DS 1MC cycle 0
Mummytothearkbuilder 1DS 1MC TTC cycle 0
SaggyOldClothCatpuss 1DS 1DD 1MC -TTC cycle 1 POAS March 29
Santa 1 DC 2 MCs TTC cycle 0 (i.e. before first AF after ERPC)
Shellshock7 2MCs 1 DS - TTC cycle 3 - BFP
SpanishLady: 1 DS, 1MC, TTC Cycle 0 - BFP (before first AF post MC)
Zeu 1DD 1mc cycle 1 bfp due 11th April

I'm feeling the postivity!!
Bring on those BFPs!!

Anyone ever had a look at the sperm meets egg plan.
I had a read- so it is DTD everyother day from day 8 and then when you get a positive OPK DTD every day for 3 days, miss a day and then once more.
It was designed for people post MC and increases the chance of a BFP each month from 20% to 40%.
I'm giving it a go- starting tonight!!!

Does anyone use the clearblue digita OPKs?
Just checking what time of day to use them-I know other tests say use midmorning/afternoon as the LH isn't high in the mornning but the clearblue says you can use them any time.
THoughts anyone??

Its the waiting which is haaarrrdddd! According to the app, I should ovulate friday, so DTD all this week, then the looooonnngggg 2WW! Im stuck in the house and time is passing soooooooo slowly! The good thing is that until AF hits Im full of hope and enthusiasm! Im going to sort out my knitting chest and start a nice big blanket, to give me something to do!

absolutely - listen to Saggy girls!

BFPs will come. Where's your posifrickintivity?!