The big fat posifrickintivity, but only on a friday thread - TTC after MC and not lose your head

Well, I think that's the most positive GP appointment I've ever had. I didn't need to cry, she was bending over backwards to be helpful. They are going to arrange all the tests that have been suggested that are available on the NHS and has suggested I ask the consultant about waiting times, she is happy to refer me as an NHS patient if they are not too long. Going back tomorrow for the first (of many) blood letting sessions. Finally some positive progress.

Im going to try it! We've had a day or two off, and today is the first time in ages that Ive received a saucy text! Got to be worth a go! I got a faint line on the OPK again this morning, so heres hoping there's still a chance.

saggy /chocolate the whole 'it's not the right time honey' thing worked for me.
The month previous the whole dtd issue was a right drama, and had to really put effort in and neither of us enjoyed it. Created quite a bit of resentment for us both.
This last month I always said (whether it was or not) oh, it's too early or too late for that, or I think we have missed it for this month anyway.
Clearly worked as I got my BFP!
Worth a try, we both enjoyed it more too :)

Glad to see im not alone, I've been testing all week and nothing!! If I had my ERPC on the 28 and stopped bleeding around ten days later well I spotted for another 4 days when should I be testing?

jmf Have you tried using the cheapie OPKs? I got on better with those than the CB... Just a thought.
I did not detect any ovulation between my ERPC and the first AF, it's very frustrating. I think it does mess up your body quite a lot.

Don't get too disheartened by it, I know it's easier said than done, but you're body has been through so much...

jmf just because the opks aren't giving you a smiley doesn't mean you aren't ovulating, they could just be missing the surge. There are plans that suggest po 2 opks a day, one in the morning and one late afternoon/evening.

Or you could have a duff batch of opks? Are you dtd eod anyway?

It'll happen. When its the right time.
Hang in there, its still early days, our bodies all react differently and take their own time to recover. We CAN do this.

Good luck bakingtins- hope your doctor will agree to your tests.

To those struggling with reminder dates- a warm hug, I know how you feel.

I'm cd 14-no smiley face, no signs of ovulation at all.
Last month it was day 8.
I am only 8 weeks post ERPC but this is really making me feel low.
With my day and dd I got pregnant in the first month and my mc was a surprise so never had a struggle before to conceived so this is all new.
The constant negative opk just brings all the hurt back each day.

Sorry for the gloomy post- if anyone has some positivity left over please send some my way.

Little bairn the first two times I used CBFM I got pregnant first month of using it, after several months unsuccessful trying. Last year I got pregnant after 2 months of using it but no thanks to the monitor as it never detected a peak so I was going off other ov signs. I'm not going to bother (borrowed a friend's machine) as now I have a pretty good understanding of my cycle I don't think it will help, but I do think they are really helpful. Hope you get your peak in the next day or two.

Wish me luck. I'm going to the GP today to beg ask them to run some of the tests the consultant has recommended for me. I'm hoping she is sympathetic and doesn't say DS2 means MC1 doesn't count and I'm not entitled.

Thats a good idea Chocolate Mr Saggy would probably be happier knowing it wasnt the righ time.

Little bairn - when you get your BFP (which you WILL) You can then sell the CBFM on eBay which makes me feel a bit better about the cost. Obvs I will be waiting til I have a babe in arms to sell mine "just to be sure" and not tempt fate but it's good to bear in mind.

HotCCP - I try to get some pointless DTD in here and there to make DH feel less like a sperm machine, even a slight white lie that it's not the right time yet or "too late in the month" can make the difference in him thinking we are DTD because we want to and not just to ttc (and yes I do want to but it does get you too obsessed at times)

Thanks little, catpuss you made me smile, I do only want him fot his sperm we were happily a once a month couple so it's hard work this TTC, especially now we have to again, ugh

sorry, that sounded really ME ME ME, was just trying to relate and show that you werent alone in feeling crap. I think our men think we only want them for their sperm now.

MrsSpencer, I would have been 12 weeks on the 7th. It was a real setback to my mindset when I saw the date on the calendar. I dont know about your world, but nobody in mine mentions the baby any more, so I suffered in silence.
My DP also has performance related issues. I mentioned SPEM to him the other day and really wish I hadnt! Whenever we DTD its like theres this big baby shaped issue between us! Its really starting to get to me. We've had a great sex life until recently, now its definitely not right!

MrsSpencer gosh I'm sorry I know how hard milestone days can be, be gentle with yourself.

chocolate that's what I've heard too it gets more accurate reading and plotting when to test. I'm really glad I bought it, even DH is pleased when originally he was cross that I spent the money on it thinking it was a con.

kate I try and leave it as late as possible now just because I quite like the idea that I could be pregnant the chance of a BFP rather than the heartbreak of a BFN.

Symptom spotting way way to early for any in me BUT I did have a moment after I got out the shower thinking "wow my boobs look nice..." something I only ever thought when pregnant.
But I KNOW it's just my mind playing tricks on me, I'm almost surprised I haven't had a phantom pregnancy.

Sorry I'm not replying to people but I'm feeling a bit today, should have had my 12w scan tomorrow, I'm on d24 of what used to be a 28d cycle, I haven't ovulated and i go back to work on Monday, feeling a bit sorry for myself. Hope everyone is planning some fun this eve! OH has also got a bit of performance anxiety ugh, moan over, as you were

I hate poas. Is that normal? Actually makes me feel ill lol hence I'm now all for waiting though know how excruciating it is

We are moving fast!

I agree with the feeling bad about other pregnant people it can be so hard! But think its only natural. I wish it wasn't so taboo would make it much easier for everyone to know how to act.

So I have a dilemma do I poas this Friday at cd25 or do I wait until next Friday at cd32? I don't think I ovd until around cd17 so this fri is probably too early but next Friday seems so long away!!! Will no doubt change my mind a number of times! Anyone poas this Friday?

Hi little bairn I have a CBFM, I got my BFP for DS with the first month of using it, have had 2 cycles this time, starting cycle 3 now (CD5)
I found the first time I used it, the high came early but I did get a peak after about 5-6 days. Pretty sure that it also remembers your levels of the hormones so gets more accurate as you go on.

I agree, MC changes your whole perspective on pregnancy - wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it would be an idea for it to be less of a taboo subject so that people could be a little less unwittingly tactless/insensitive.

I have now got Pre-seed (non sperm killing lube) at the ready, extra sticks bought. Anything else? Any need for extra Folic acid just to be of safe side?

Wow, this thread really does move fast!
Thanks for the welcome.

I think there's a degree of innocence (if that's the right expression) you lose after a mc, wrt pregnancy in general and your own conceptions in particular. When I got pregnant with my children, one after one mc and the second after a further two, a large part of the emotion was 'oh feck'. A lot of fear, a lot of 'I can't do this'. With dc2 I was in denial for two weeks - I even didn't test - even though I was late and I knew.

Miscarriage is so cruel and implacable, so damn miserable to go through and so hard to name and mourn the loss (not helped by all the 'perhaps it was for the best' and 'mother nature knows what she's doing' and 'oh, 40y ago you would have had to miss two periods before you'd even be considered pregnant' ) that I think envy of those who seem to, or actually do, sail through is inevitable, just human. I'm struggling with it a bit myself, tbh.

Saggy It's because of a combination of reasons - my age (41), my recent mc, and then my medical history - I had a pulmonary embolism last year, so now I'm worrying about underlying unrecognised clotting issues... Which could contribute to miscarriage...

Baby aspirin has been recommended for the over 40s with a mc history, some say take while ttc (which I didn't), some say start as soon as you get your BFP, opinions are divided.
I've just had blood taken last week (before I had my BFP) to have some more detailed test done.

Because of the PE, I will have to take heparin/clexane during my pregnancy, so until I see the consultant haematologist, I will take the aspirin.
It's one of those things where you'll get a different answer every time you ask.

x-posts with spanish

I also dread the pity. Sympathy, kindness etc, yes, but not pity.

JBrd are you taking the aspirin for a specific reason, or just in case?

I know exactly what you all mean as well about other pg women, and then feeling doubly bad because you feel like a bitch at the same time. While I was having my ERPC, my friend was in the same hospital giving birth upstairs. That sucked. hope she's finding it really hard with two under two

I love this thread - its so nice to hear that all my rambling, incoherent thoughts are shared by others, so I think it must be normal to feel the way we do.

I agree that the whole process has made me a bit meaner. But I like to think its also made me more sympathetic to the emotions of others and stronger. And I don't think the meaness/bitterness/jealousy is a true character trait showing through - its just because we're all hurting.