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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Oh blimey. Unexpected BFP at 45! What now?

38 replies

fatfloosie · 06/03/2013 11:33

Last period was at Christmas. Was doing the no contraception thing to keep my younger partner happy as he would like another. Never thought anything would actually happen. I am half thrilled and half terrified. Chances of miscarriage obviously high but I guess I could be 10 weeks already.

OP posts:

chummy1 · 12/03/2013 21:20

oh boo indeed fatfloosie I'm very sorry for you. You have an infectious optimistic approach.......(which I love!) I hope that you do fall pg again very soon with a healthy little DS! ........... night night x

scarecrow22 · 12/03/2013 19:39

Floosie - I'm so sorry about your mc. I hope you really are encouraged though to keep trying.
I plan to grad to the 40+ mums thread in five weeks, but will pop in to see friends in the pregnancy one, and very much look forward to welcoming you to the different snugs. Meantime, I'm sure there will be lots of advice and laughs on the 40s ttc one.
Take care

Original poster

fatfloosie · 12/03/2013 10:56

Oh boo. Went for scan and measured 7 weeks with no heartbeat. Was expecting it as had already started bleeding similarly to when I had a MC two years ago. Very glad I didn't test any earlier as OH was already playing imaginary games of football with his 'son'. Another week and he'd probably have painted the spare room blue! Still, actually conceiving has made me feel about 35 again, and, as I have my DD and know I can carry to term, I have the luxury of being able to presume there was something wrong with the baby and I have been spared an impossible decision later in the pregnancy. So I'm fine and might join the over 40s ttc thread for another roll of the baby dice - this time with folic acid (and hope to make it onto your thread eventually scarecrow22!).

Congratulations Vickitoriana! I had my DD at 40 in similar circs - drunken shenanigans that should have been followed by a morning after pill but weren't because I thought it a bit ridiculous to be so worried about fertility at 40 (plus we were on holiday and I didn't fancy trying to explain to an Italian pharmacist what I needed whilst he/she thought 'who are you trying to kid grandma'). Very best wishes for your pregnancy x x

OP posts:

scarecrow22 · 11/03/2013 09:21

For others looking for good stories and encouragement - there are plenty of grads from the 40+ ttc thread on the 40+ pregnancy one, an there is now even a spin-off 40+ mums thread too. All have cosy/ tropical/themed snugs to relax in and some great bakers

scarecrow22 · 10/03/2013 20:33

OP many congratulations. If and when you are ready we have a very friendly "Fantastic 40+ mums to be" thread in Pregnancy. Sorry can't post link, but maybe you can search my name? How to see you there

resipsa · 10/03/2013 19:54

Congrats from me too. Another TTC at a later stage in reproductive life (42). Your post made me cry with hope! Wish you a happy and healthy 6.5 (or so) more months!

nellyjelly · 10/03/2013 19:39

Well done. I was 47 when I had ds 2. Yes me and dh will be old when our kids are teens but well.......that is just what they'll know.

PacificDogwood · 10/03/2013 19:34

chummy, I think I got you and the OP confused - sorry .

So, even more good luck wishes sent your way x.

PacificDogwood · 10/03/2013 19:32

Hell, no, I am so NOT ttc .

DS4 was 3 today, I am almost 47, I am so done like you wouldn't believe!

Good luck with your pregnancy x.
In an ideal world, if my life circumstance had been different/MCs hadn't got in the way, I might've had my DCs 10 years earlier. Mainly, in order to get my own selfish life back while I was a bit younger IYKWIM.

Bearing in mind that there is no arguing with biology and yes, certain risks rise with age, a risk of 1:4 (my risk for Patau's - nought to do with age, a genetic problem I carry), still means a 3:4 chance of it not happening.

I am entirely banking that my children will keep me young - my expectations are high .

BoffinMum · 10/03/2013 10:33

The odds are in your favour! To help it all along, take folic acid, get rubella check immediately, eat your 5 fruit and veg every day, try to go swimming or to yoga twice a week and otherwise carry on as normal. Might be good to sign up for NCT classes straight away as they get booked up.

chummy1 · 10/03/2013 10:13

Pacificdogwood thanks for your reply :)
Are you ttc conceive again? or is that it for you now?
Watching Benjamin Button last night ............ very poignant! Anyone seen it?

Yep, we've had the ...... next 20 years will be busy busy and not chilled with feet up chat more times that I can remember and guess what!? We're going to talk about it again today! (my request!) DH is so lovely, he suggested this whilst working away this week! (mothers day may have something to do with it)!

Clinic booked now. ARCG responded very quickly. We have our appointment.

Vicki I hope that the pain eases soon.....

Fatfloosie Is this your first pg? I can understand your fear and excitement.. that's how I feel now and I'm not even pg (yet! hopefully) How are you feeling??

Vickitoriana · 08/03/2013 10:57

I was thinking the same thing... Dont want to steal floosie's thunder. :)

duchesse · 08/03/2013 10:22

Vicki, I think maybe you could start your own thread- it looks like you're going to need plenty of support in the coming months.

Hope you're doing OK floosie!

Vickitoriana · 08/03/2013 10:19

Hey... Yes, my head is spinning with all these events... This time three and a half weeks ago my life was plodding along smoothly and then BAM!!! Luckily the arm will heal without surgery, its a minimally displaced fracture of the radial head, so could have been worse... I could do without the friend being an idiot, he is refusing to speak to me at all... Very childish for a man in his late 30s who's a teacher!!!

duchesse · 08/03/2013 08:38

That is quite a lot to happen in 3 weeks isn't it? Life has a way of doing that... Is it a bad break?

duchesse · 08/03/2013 08:37

You poor thing. Make sure you're taking only painkillers that are suitable for the newly upduffed! I think ibuprofen is unadvisable for example.

Vickitoriana · 07/03/2013 23:26

Well my friend has been incommunicado ever since, which is very gentlemanly of him!! I have two pretty grown up kids and i am sure it'll be no different bringing this one up, infact, easier if 'friend' is out of the picture. It just feels like since the18th feb (which is when it happened) my life has done a 180. A few days after i did a fertility calculator and realised we were bang on time for ovulation... By that point it was too late for emergency contraception. I remember while i was falling over that all i could think about was that i might be pregnant and panicking... I was sitting waiting for the ambulance in the middle of M&S thinking about the baby not my broken arm or ribs. Oh and the ribs are way more painful than the arm.:) sorry about the rubbish typing i am using my left hand as its my right arm thats broken.

duchesse · 07/03/2013 23:07

Vicki I REALLY want to be pregnant. That's all you need to know. You will manage the rest by crossing the bridges when you reach them. Have you told friend yet? Congratulations! And ouchy ribs, hope they heal soon!

Vickitoriana · 07/03/2013 22:58

Hey guys... am in a similar position. Am 40 and thought my child bearing days were over but following a one off afternoon of passion with an old friend a few weeks ago i have been getting faint positive pregnancy tests for the past couple of days (six in total). Since this lovefest i have had a major fall and broken my elbow and a few ribs, so naturally assumed that if i were pregnant at the point of falling i wouldn't have been after. I think i am in shock... I thought that given the fall, the fact i have PCOS and I'm getting on a bit in fertility terms, that pregnancy would be very unlikely! I am kinda struggling to believe its true even with six faintly positive tests... I REALLY want to be pregnant, though i know my situation is far from ideal. Any comment will be greatly appreciated. :)

PacificDogwood · 07/03/2013 22:21

chummy1, DH is 3 years younger than me, so was 41 at DS4's arrival.
I saw your other thread too, and I understand your and your husbands concerns, but as others have said, bad things can happen to parents at any age. I went to school with a girl whose father was over 60 when she was conceived (she had an older half-brother almost 20 years her senior). Her mother must have been in her early/mid 40s when she had her and I have only nice memories of being at her house. Maybe don't focus so much on your ages just now, but think about having a dependent for the next 20 years? Will you miss a more quiet middle-age?? I feel my late children (I had DS1 aged 37) keep me young - maybe I'm deluded .

Fatfloosie, good luck whenever your scan comes along. Here's hoping for a sticky bean .

duchesse · 06/03/2013 23:18

Congratulations! I hope your little one's a sticker.

I had my fourth at 41 and if I'm honest there's more than a small part of me that would love an oops even at 45. I just have to remember that I've nearly got my life back on track (DD3 is 3.6) and that usually knocks any broodiness on the head again.

chummy1 · 06/03/2013 23:10

Fatfloosie Great name :) made me smile.......... Lovely news (and I understand your fear too ) however congratulations are most definitely in order!!

Ledkr · 06/03/2013 23:09

Congrats. I had my 5th dc now 2 at 43. Good pregnancy hard baby which has been tiring but I wouldn't change it for the world. She is delicious.

Original poster

fatfloosie · 06/03/2013 23:08

Thank you for all the good wishes and encouragement. OH came home and is so up for it that I would say we are now both cautiously thrilled. My sister has had two missed miscarriages where there was no heartbeat at the first scan (she has since had a lovely little boy ) so I'm trying to hold back expectations of ending up with a baby until I've at least seen a heartbeat and just focus on how lovely it is to have a little someone on board for a while even if they don't make it.

Interesting article OneLittleToddleTerror. I see what you mean about the anti-woman tone but the stats on post screening abortions are really encouraging.

Good luck DoctorWhoFan, pod3030, Greenlizard and chummy1. I have been whining to all and sundry for about the last three years (I have one DD who is 5) that OH wanted another but I couldn't seem to manage it and have been told loads of encouraging stories about mums in their mid to late 40s so do keep the faith!

And dopeysheep I hope you get an easy birth as well as an easy pregnancy. Not long now!

OP posts:

chummy1 · 06/03/2013 23:07

May i ask how old your DP/DH was when you had your youngest Pacificdogwood?

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