Ttc after recent mc, for Creme egg scoffers, shared confusion and joint cursing of mother nature

Haven't been on here for a while sorry to see the newbies. It's been nine weeks now since erpc and still haven't had af, got a negative preg test after about four weeks. Is it normal for af to take this long? It's getting me really down now :(

Hello newbies and welcome to the last place in the world you wanted to be but under the circumstances is a good place to be.
Fod I really hope things get moving for you soon x

Question; do OPK's do the job as well as temping? (Honestly think I will mess up temping sounds too complex for my frazzled brain!)
Not convinced I'm ovulating. Also which brands do you use and what day do you start??? Thank you!

Hi ladies. Been away for a bit again. Trying to get my head together, being a bit useless recently. Hi to all the newbies, sorry to see you here.

To whoever asked about books (sorry, I am on phone) I have just bought 'gone girl'. Not started reading it yet, but is meant to be very good.

Completely get what you all mean about insensitive people too. I can't work out if it is me being overly sensitive ( which I know I am) or if people are actually just being complete arses at the moment. Suspect it a mix of both, which is why I am hibernating in the house and trying not to see anyone. Makes going to work tricky though!!!

Hi fod, really tough times for you I know, unfortunately no one can say how it will be...I hope it's over quick now and you can start moving on. Second cam with the breathing, at least you'll know abt that from labour....and wine helped me, not everyone's way I know but over the counter pain relief ain't the best.

booty I knew nothing abt MC before mine and then found out so many people had had them It is so unfair and so sad.

Oh spanish hope you're ok...I went a bit wild after my first MC with nights out and it was daft cos I'd cry at end of the night drunk, then the next day hungover! Didn't make the same mistake this time round (tho DS is here now) and felt a lot better for it. Your DH prob just wants to make you feel better and thinks the quicker you get back to normal the better, hope you can talk it thru and feel a bit better soon

Nothing to report for me....just time is going sloooooooow, CD12 is that it?!

thanks Cam - I was worried I would come across as being precious - I dont expect people to dim down their excitement or even care about my situation as they can only live their lives but I did think she could have talked about something else at least for part of the afternoon.

My DH is planning all these social events for us and I dont want to go - I dont want to be a shut in and act all woe is me but I want to regroup first - I want to be nice and quiet and relax in my own little universe for a while - I dont want to go tearing around getting drunk and staying up to 6am - my DH doesnt understand this and thinks it would be good for me.

I know these arent the only answers but right now only 2 things will help me: 1) a baby 2) everything to be over in that regard eg be 50+ and start menopause so I can let it go

I was really happy on Sat as well - we dtd for the first time since I MC'd and it was lovely not to be baby related and I felt good that we can passed another milestone.

Hi guys I totally understand where your coming from we took the kids out to a jungle bungle type place (so of course it's full of kids) the place was packed so we had to sit by the entrance....where I got to see all the new born babies being carried in....fanfuckingtastic!! We of course moved as soon as another table became available
I ha e one friend who had been great she has mc 3 times (one after the other) went for tests and had to have an injection during her fourth pregnancy ...so of course she totally gets it, however theres a right bitch I work with (she's fully aware I don't like her, I told her i would remain professional but I didn't want to see or speak to her socially) she has sent another colleague of mine a text to forward to myself basically consisting of her experience of mc -she's very much a me me me person oh and mentioned that she "wants to be friends and would like to talk" what the fuck?!!
I am so annoyed, like I'm not going through enough right now and this ridiculous human being thinks I have the time or inclination to play stupid playground games
We went the mother in laws and I started to bleed a little (bright red at first, that was followed by a dark brown blood) I had some mild cramping pains and then nothing ;( it's driving me crazy! Is this the start? Will it still take ages? The not knowing is awful

Spanish - yeah, that would've floored me too - its amazing how people can be so thoughtless and unempathic isn't it (makes me nervous about all the times I've probably been inadvertantly thoughtless). My friend was sensitive about it yesterday; she struggled with ttc so maybe 'gets it' in a way people don't when they've sailed through the whole thing with no problems. I'm really cross on your behalf though. You're not being mean.

I'm anticipating being up and down. There are some people I'm dreading seeing, generally people who got pregnant roughly when I did for example. There is one ex-colleague of mine who is one of those 'perfect girls' who I disliked anyway, I think out of pure jealously if I'm honest. Her e-mail announcing her pregnancy arrived on the day of my booked 12-week scan and I was absolutely distraught. We must've conceived within days of eachother and it was all "we obviously couldn't announce it before in case blah blah blah, but we had the scan yesterday and saw a perfect little blah". She didn't know so it wasn't thoughlessness (shes far too perfect to be thoughless - grrr) just excitment. I am going to avoid her like the plague as I honestly don't think I will cope with it! And I don't care how childish that might be {{stomp stomp}}

Hope you're ok fod.

xxx

Hi Fod,

its been 19 days since my MC and its a weird journey (so to speak) but you do get better so while im so sorry what is happening to you try to hold on and be kind to yourself - you are going to come out the other side ok.

Cam - I thought I was doing great then went to see a friend's new house yesterday - she is due her 2nd baby the first week of March - I did feel weird seeing her bump (not that I had one but you know as in to see a sucessful pregnancy) - she is a nice girl but my goodness cant people be insensitive - after asking me how I was doing she proceeded to tell me how her MIL once had a MC and 'found it really hard to conceive again' -thanks for that I thought and also a bit weird given the MIL went onto have another children after the MC! Then spent the afternoon saying how she hated being pregnant and felt like she was trapped in a fat suit and was so tired etc etc and I thought well I do remember towards the end of pregnancy you do feel big and abit fed up but on the other hand I was thinking why dont you just fucking shut up you stupid lucky bitch!

phew - got that off my chest

shes a nice girl and I will be very happy for her when baby comes - forgive me for being mean - this is what I am finding - I think Im doing great and then have a little breakdown - I went home and wept buckets.

Fod how are you this morning? Hope you are being looked after.

Cam get your trainers on! Hope you like the book. It's great you were able to be happy for your friend. I think you are right that it's often random people or acquaintances that are harder to deal with, where you don't know the backstory. I had 2 colleagues give birth the same week I miscarried and were parading around showing off babies (grr - but to be fair they didn't know why I'd been off sick)

Liesl hope your AF shows up very soon.

Oh fob, it's so sad isn't it. I can only speak from my experience but I found deep breathing quite useful for getting through the physical side of things. Not into meditation or yoga at all so it was only deep breathing (in slowly through nose, hold a bit, out slowly) but I found it helped with pain and kept me a but calmer. Everyone is different though so just sending love and wishing you all the best. It's shit. Xxx

No I get half term off (perk of being a teacher I suppose) started bleeding today and cramping, really scared now I know it's about to happen. Fiancé has been fab and is really lookin after me...hope AF returns soon.... Read a few like that - take a whole to return to normal - that's now a worry too ESP as I want to TTc ASAP. Glad to hear you had a good day xxxx sendin you best wishes

Evening,

Well, what I'd anticipated would be a horrible, difficult day ended up being fine. We were off to meet my best friend's new baby. Turned out to be fine which was a shock as I have found myself glaring at practically anyone with a pram or bump since last week. I think its because they such great people and make such a lovely little family, its somehow hard to be anything other than over the moon for them. Randoms with bumps though - grr. Some lady actually caught me snarling at her in tescos today. From the sympathetic smile in response I think there was a shared understanding that she knew exactly what I was thinking and had been there. Random compassion - nearly made me cry (think I may still be a little hormonal).

Thanks for the tip about the book tins. Ordered it from amazon today, along with the two 'often bought with' books suggested, so excited about having lots to read which I wouldn't have necessarily discovered myself (how I've tended to discover good reads). Feeling good about gym and diet tomorrow too. If I come on here having not gone I need berating. I'm with you fod - throwing self in to other stuff appears a good way of dealing. I'm a week or so 'ahead' of you though - you are looking after yourself as well aren't you? Are you in work this week.

Shellshock - hope the hangover wore off.

Night night.

Lynsey / fod sorry that you find yourselves on here. There are many ladies on here that can relate to your situations. I'm now 7+ weeks after erpc and still no af. We are not preventing but not actively trying due to wtf cycle and thinking we should have one clear out cycle. I poas on Friday just to check as no af but got a bfn. Just wish af would arrive!

Bootyboo your soo right! The more people we have to tell the more we discover our friends and family have gone through the same things.... It's a little comforting especial those that went onto have children.

Your right it's so unfair! I have a hate the world attitude atm, especially when I see heavily pregnant women or newborns...breaks my heart

Sorry to hear about your m/c Fod - life is just so unfair at times! It's amazing how many people you hear have had m/cs once you have had one yourself - I was in a car full of ladies on the way home after a meal the other day - they are older than me and have kids and they were chatting - they ALL had a miscarriage at one point or another! I was amazed

Hi Lyndsey - I like you had a really early m/c - one strange thing I found with me is that my ovulation was a bit odd for a few months afterwards, even tho I was only about 5 weeks or so - I don't think that is the norm though and most ladies's cycles just seems to adjust themselves straight away so good luck - just don't worry if it takes a little longer to righten as I panicked a bit.

Cam try "The one hundred yr old man who climbed out of a window and disappeared". I've found it hard to concentrate on novels recently but I enjoyed that one. If you have a Kindle it was only about 70p.

Cammomile I too have piled on the pounds, decided to embrace the fact I was going to get bigger and splurged... Now left feeling emotionally and physically crap, doesn't help that I'm still in maternity clothes either ;(

We have both decided to hit the gym for fertility, vanity and something to focus on

Woke up feeling ok, I think with each day that passes you get used to the idea ( never thought I'd say that) until I remember the physical element my body has yet to go through. Every twinge or cramp I have makes me think 'this is it' and then nothing
Want this chapter to just be over so we can move on, start trying and thinking positive xxx

Hopefully we will all be back announcing BFPs, successful scans and discussing names

camomile snap, drank too much Fri and Sat and feel done in now....think my brain has told me to drink loads before ovulation as I've decided to go dry for the 2ww

Feeling good tho, back on the case DTD so feel as if we are at least trying to get PG again...I hate AF and pre ovulation days, just a waste of time!

Hope you're ok this morning fod

Morning folks,

Ugh, feeling worse for wear this morning. Too much wine (and chocolate) last night. Bliss at the time, but now there is hangover and guilt. DH being very good and bringing me everything in bed. It's not entirely altruistic, he just doesn't want me interrupting the cricket. I may take advantage and whine for weetabix in a bit. I also weighed myself this morning and discovered to my horror that I have put on 10lbs since finding out I was pregnant. I actually think the majority of that is the confort eating I've been doing since. So have made the decision to restart the diet and the gym (tomorrow).

Welcome to the new people and sorry for your experiences. Fod, Ove read loads and not found a thing suggesting its difficult to get pregnant again. I'm looking forward to trying again (!), but am anticipating I'll be very anxious if/when we're successful. I think unfortunately anxiety post-mc is one of those things.

I was told to wait three months too. That went in one ear and out the other. I wonder why though. One month I 'get' in terms of dating but don't understand the rationale behind three. I suppose it must be emotional recovery. I think we're going to 'not be careful' until first AF then start trying after that.

I need a new book. Can anyone suggest something good? Not too heavy but nothing sappy either.

There's no reason you should struggle to conceive again after MC if you had no fertility issues in the first place. You often hear it said that you are more fertile in the few months following a MC, I don't know if that is true either?
It's most likely that you've had absolutely shitty luck this time and that next time everything will be ok. According to Prof Lesley Regan, your chance of a miscarriage next time after a single MC is 20%, compared to a risk for all pregnancies of 15%, or, let's think positive, you have an 80% chance of having a successful pregnancy. It is hard though, you can't get the innocence back of blithely assuming a BFP = a baby.

Shellshock phewwwww I was panicking then... I was 17 and 21 when I had my kids (so yes mega young and resilient) I'm now 29 I will be 30 in July but I don't think that should be a worry ..... Here's hoping anyway xxxx

Sadly, most people on here agree, pregnancy is hard after MC...
I think back to my first pregnancies. I was early twenties, totally invincible back then! I sailed through both with no thought for complications. Miscarriage never entered my head! I wish I was back there!

Sorry 'fod' I meant that when you are PG again, it is hard after MC as you naturally worry more, sorry if I upset you....I personally haven't found getting PG again to be an issue

Is the general consensus that its difficult to conceive after mc? That's very worrying, as this is my first mc that was our biggest fear hat we would struggle to get pregnant again

Sadly, most people on here agree, pregnancy is hard after MC...it's good you are thinking forward tho, that will help you lots