Elderberry Pavlovas And The Eternal Sausage of Wang (Part 4): a frightfully good thread for the over-30s TTC their first baby.

Not a botanist...but I do like playing scrabble, so compound words stick in my memory! Basically, those 4 examples sum up my greatest loves: drink, food and good scrabble words!
Refuses to allow the fact that she doesn't actually drink red wine at all get in the way of an otherwise perfect observation.

snort at boodle

yes of course it was happy getting wed. boodle i will instead lend you my washing/ironing mountain basket - it's enough to make the calmest person break into a stress sweat

kerry if i'd read your post earlier i would have ued your excuse of being ill (not that you're is an excuse but I would have stolen it iyswim) with OH as to why the house is not gleaming and there is nothing in the fridge that is edible except eggs no dinner on the table

Can I put myself forward as a candidate for super shagger crown? We dtd 5 times in 7 days over the relevant week. Not quite a 100% hit rate but I can plead exceptional circumstances.... DP was away on a stag weekend during the crucial time so I insisted he serviced me after work on the friday during the half an hour he had to get home, pack and go pick his mates up, and then as soon as he returned knackered on the Sunday... .
Not that it worked!

(are you a botanist, boodle? Just noticed cuckoopint too)

boodle I love that your first choice is cobnut, not cat, cot or cut which is how my simple brain works.

What is IUI?

Cobnut? Cabernet? Crumpet? Cuckoopint? I like guessing games.

[waves to Happy and Bunny, both of whom I cross-posted with]

Bunny, can I make a suggestion without you taking umbrage? Why not try IUI. I'll bet you'd fall pregnant straight away..

Isn't it Happy getting incarcerated married?

Thanks, Pip and Boodle, nope, the procedure has not unblocked the tube. My consultant deffo thinks these 'little issues' are superfluous to the 'real' problem....my age. I have one word for him and it begins with a C and ends with a T.

Merkin, yep, the pain is quite horrid still (well, that's what I shall report to DP when he returns to no tea in th'oven)

[waves to Twinkle but studiously ignores her reference to being 'back']

It's me getting married next year. Need to get a BFP soon to avoid walking down the aisle looking like a beached whale!

Gaaaaah not been on here for a few hours and its all been going on!! Welcome Kerry lovely to see a completely new face. Sorry to hear the lap and dye wasn't all good news but glad to hear you've got some answers. Merkin everything you said about feeling this will never happen echoes exactly what I've been thinking, and I've been TTC for even less time. Got upset last night cos we booked our summer holiday ffs! It was during last years hol that we started TTC and honestly thought that would be the our last holiday with just the 2 of us
Does 7 shags in the 2 weeks around OV qualify me for the crown not that it did the slightest bit of bloody good

Hi kerry welcome to the gang!

If I were to win the Super Shagger crown it would be a miracle!!! If we manage to DTD more than twice in a month the world might end!

Bring on the BFP pringles, once you pop...

merkin not me, I'm an old married woman, a whole 17 months now!

It must be Bunny then (maybe i'm getting my B names confused).

Kerry is the pain getting better?

Anyone going to admit they had a simply excellent shag cycle and claim the crown and title until I get my hands on it

Mmmmmm...sausage. (Waits patiently for merkin to stumble into her carefully laid trap in which a large fishing net will snare her and haul her to the ceiling where she will proceed to be beaten by Boodle's minions pupils whom she has persuaded to assault merkin on the promise that merkin is German for piñata and that she is actually stuffed full of maoams.)

h313n - chipping in with FX; I'd go with merkin - I hope it's something easily fixable - that way you don't have the stress of 'unexplained infertility' which is what my notes currently say.

Not me getting married, nope. I'm sure I'll find myself something to stress out about once I'm back to work next week though! Teaching has a knack for doing that!

Welcome back Kerry ;)

Merkin - we all feel like that sometimes. It's this rollercoaster called ttc that we're on.

Kerry the doctor explained to me that the tried to unblock the tubes but couldn't. Therefore it's straight to IVF do not pass go, do not collect £200.
The trapped gas made my shoulders hurt too, but I had forgotten about until you mentioned it.
It seems everything else is healthy so they really just need to get sperm to meet egg.

Memory like a fish. Not brain.

Cross-posts and OUCH! My eye! I'd give chase but I'm too lazy. Plus, I nicked your merkin whilst you were busy wanging me so you'll have to come within sausage slapping range to get it back. Fnar har har.

In all seriousness, I think the 'last one to graduate' is my fear too! The dummy account is a brilliant idea though!

Kerry - glad you got your lap & dye out of the way but sorry you had pain and that the news (presumably) isn't what you wanted. Is it likely that you might have had what happened to Pip and the lap & dye might have unblocked the tube, or would they have been able to tell there and then?

h3l3n poor you. And FX for your results (whichever way you want them to go). Personally I would want something very small that has stopped you getting pregnant but can be totally fixed by next cycle (if such a thing exists) if i was in your situation

Boodle are you not getting married soon? (Or have I mixed everyone up again because I have a brain like a fish). There's nothing like a wedding for some stress. I can tell you all sorts of horrible stressful stories....

Kerry I love the phallic sausage. I shall get it created in bronze and attached to the front of the crown, which shall henceforce be known as the tries hard to come up with clever / funny name and fails Super Shagger Sausage Crown of Glory

Sounds quite normal Merkin! I (with DP) have a doctor's appointment on Monday to finally get our results from our initial tests, and I am currently obsessing over whether I would prefer there to be a problem (which could hopefully be fixed) or no problem, which leaves me with no explanation of why nothing has happened for 14 cycles, but also no reason why it might not happen in cycle 15.... I've also persuaded myself that my short luteal phase is a bad problem, the horrible acne I've had since coming off the pill plus the irregular cycles mean I have PCOS, and the cyst on my ovary I had about 10 years ago probably means I've only got one working.....

Oh, and last time I had to spend a weekend away with two pregnant women I burst into tears. A friend announced her pregnancy at a meal recently and I just wanted to leave immediately and go home.

And I was rationally irrationally angry with my mother when I texted her to tell her my DP's brother and wife were pregnant again and she texted back "that's good". NO THAT's NOT GOOD! I wanted to text back, THAT's BL**DY UNFAIR, SHE'S ALREADY GOT ONE!!!
Ahem.

See, bad days are perfectly normal...

Hello, Kerry! Well, as an absolute newbie, obviously, you have definitely chosen the right thread to drop in to! I just get a feeling we'll suit you down to a T!

Damn it - I want to be in with a chance for the Super Shagger Crown of Glory. However, DH is away at the moment I'm going to have no chance this month unless I ovulate SUPER late - quick, someone stress me out!

Nevermind, I will bask in the glory of the thread title idea!

welcome kerry please join in on wanging me as i need it right now. (Re-read that and it sounds so and and [dirty emoticon]

Boodle you don't sound like a green eyed monster, I know exactly what you are saying. I have a weird fear of being the last non graduated Elderberry ever... I would have to create a dummy account merkinsfriend and hold conversations between my two accounts to keep myself company on here. However weirdly I think we just need one BFP and it'll be like a tube of pringles hence my hoping for one to arrive so I can catch a piece of it!