TTC and a teacher?! Join me!

I know Bajas and when people tell you to 'relax' you just want to smack them ! I obviously don't know what your doctor is like but I have found out that with the NHS you have to be pushy otherwise you get nowhere. I am not a naturally pushy person but I have had to learn to be! I don't like it but it seems to be the only way sadly.

I am trying to be good with the alcohol thing but I am on day 28 of my cycle and I just know AF is about to get me so I think I am going to have to give in tonight.

Currently pretending to lesson plan while trawling mumsnet/facebook lesson planning for Monday. Deep joy!

Thanks marshmallowqueen. I have a couple of months to go before seeing doc although it's hard not to stress out about it all.

I'll definitely be going for the tonight

I have never tried temping Hopefulfairy as I have always thought it would be a real faff and another thing that I would get stressed about! I think the bottom line for me is that I don't ovulate every month. I have tried the sticks before but just end up getting very down when it's a month where I don't ovulate. I have a regular 28 day cycle so our method has been just to DTD as much as possible between days 5 and and about 16 but like you say it's not always possible!

Bajas I will be 37 in April and have several friends that have had their first at 39 and 40. We still have plenty of time : ) My only advice would be to see your doctor if things aren't happening after about 6 months of trying and don't let them fob you off. I lost at least a year being told just to "relax and forget about TTC and it will probably happen" by my doctor. Because it's that easy to do that!!!!

Anyone on tonight or are we all clean living TTCers?

HopefulFairy, I have been temperature charting on 'fertility friend' for quite a long time and (in my humble opinion) I have found it really useful for pinpointing ovulation. I have a clear cycle pattern that has emerged...unfortunately, it's not one I particular want to see; I have a 9 day luteal phase!

Along with temping, I also use cheap OPKs and keep an eye on fluid, though I don't always record that on my chart. I know some people don't like temping and I have seen many reasons given in other forums. All I can say is that I find it quite easy - set my alarm half an hour early, stick the thermometer under my tongue, wait for the beep and then doze straight back off! I have a thermometer that stores the last temperature taken and you can retrieve it by pressing and holding the 'on' button. That way you can just look at the temp and record it when you're fully awake.

On the feeling of not doing enough to make it happen...I'm the opposite! We've done lots but still nothing. I KNOW there's something up with my cycle, we just have to find WHAT exactly it is.

Hi can I join?

Am 38, DH 40 and ttc number 1. (I know we've left it late but only met a couple of years ago and got married this summer

I'm a hod in a secondary school and DH is an a and e nurse so both in stressful jobs and when you add in his shift patterns we don't always dtd as often as we should!

Just finished with open nights and ETI (NIreland version of OFSTED) so that should reduce the stress a bit.

No snow days for us so far as it only started here yesterday but did take 4 hours to do a half hour journey home from work yesterday (living at the top of a steep hill caught up in city traffic didn't help!)

Really thought I'd get a bfp this morning as am on day 39 of cycle and usually have 24 day cycles but it wasn't to be. Wish af would hurry up now so we can get trying again!

Hello! I'm a primary teacher now working as a TA and ttc. I completely agree with all previous comments. There is still some stress as a TA (not to mention the pay), but at least I don't have to bring stuff home. I do feel for you all. I'm considering going back to teaching, but have that hope of a bfp that will mean i should stay put. I'm bored in my role and want to take on more, but in a school that means stress!
This is our 4th month ttc and I'm going to start using the clearblue fertility monitor next cycle, as I have long and irregular cycles after coming off the pill. A good book to read is 'the Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant' by Jean Twenge. She gives a lot of good advice about OPKs and monitors and the effect of stress (which isn't as bad as you'd think). It's very reassuring and does not recommend living an unachieveably extreme healthy lifestyle. Also impossible when you're a teacher. It's a quick, funny read.
Good luck to you all, hoping for more snow days next week.

I have planned to go swimming...and I mean doing lengths and going to the spa for a break and just clearing my head. I love swimming, but I never seem to manage to go,...so my goal is to go at least once a week. The club I go to is "adults only", with dimmed lights and a calm atmosphere. Love it. (I go swimming with my class, but that's slightly different.) Unfortunately, atm, loads of people are going and it's really busy. I don't want to see people after work. I see people all the time at work.

Additionally, I'm trying to get out of school by 5pm. I take marking with me and generally work at home for quite a while anyway, but I get more work done on my sofa. At school I'll just find someone to chat to. Then it's half 6 in no time and I've got an hour's commute and my marking is still waiting to be done...

Hello, I am in! I am also a secondary teacher, lovely school but lots of pressure to get excellent results. TTC for 3 years now, 36, after much wrangling have recently had tests and am waiting for an appt to review results. Thinking and hoping we are going to be offered IVF. Completely agree with the too knackered to DTD. Partner also has stressful job with funny hours so can be v frustrating. I have just gone part time, 4days, to try to reduce stress and I have been having acupuncture once a fortnight for past 6 months. No joy yet though but thought I'd share a couple of things I have tried for stress relief. What's everyone doing for the weekend?

We've got a well-deserved snow day, but DP's school is open. He was anything but pleased about that. However, he only works half days anyway...

We are open but snow coming down so will be going home early

Snow day for me today! Days like this I love my job

Well said Bear Face... I do sometimes wonder if life would be a lot easier if I took a job on the checkouts in a supermarket! I envy my husband who complains his job is boring but he is able to go in, do his job 9-5 and then come home again... no marking, observations, stressing etc. But I have to say once you do have a baby your priorities change and although I still work my backside off I never allow it to encroach on my time with DD at the weekends. I have also learned to say no!!

Grr stupid auto correct!

I don't think there are rumours about me but I do get asked all the time which is annoying. People are do insensitive. I've only had one appointment in school time but as I never have days off I was worried that would cause done suspicion. I'm lucky that I managed to get two hospital appointments in The Christmas and half term hols. I've also had two chemical pregnancies which luckily also fell in the hols. Oh and we are also due an Ofsted.

Hello, can I join please?! I'm a primary teacher and my resolution is not to work past 7pm in the week, 5pm on a Sunday for ANY REASON AT ALL (except, maybe Ofsted!) in an attempt to reduce my stress levels as I think that will be my downfall when TTC We're on cycle 3 but I have had a short luteal phase for my last 2 cycles (came off pill in November) so now that's stressing me out too. Arrghh! I too have been subject to pregnancy rumours as I've been married for 2 and half years.

Fingers crossed for lots of Teacher BFPS!

Fairy We had been waiting for the inspection for ages, too. I'm so tired, I can't even be bothered to drag myself up to bed, let alone dtd. DP might have to carry me upstairs. Also makes me terribly emotional and I burst into tears during feedback. There wasn't really a reason. He was being nice and told me that I was a good teacher and taught a good lesson. I'm just blessed with a very challenging class, which was apparently quite obvious. Nothing I hadn't known. They can be a real nightmare...although they can also be so lovely.
I used the sticks for the first time this month, and turns out I ovulate later than I though I did - on day 18. I've generally got quite a bit of discharge, so it can be a bit confusing. My cycles also vary from 26-33 days, depending on how stressed I am.

Lark Sorry to hear it's been such a long time for you. How do you keep going for such a long time? Can relate to the "challenging" class issue, although mine are younger.

It doesn't help that loads of people around me announce that they are pregnant...and they are teachers, too, so there must be a way. (Perhaps it's because most of them are part-timers?)

Hi there everyone,

I said I'd be back. I'm a secondary teacher and gave up a job in a very good school because I was so tired of being in a vicious circle of being ill and stressed. I really enjoyed my job, but for me it became all-consuming and I was sick of having to mark at weekends and live my life on the hoof, too tired to have fun with DH and feeling guilty when I didn't do work. I was really worried about my stress levels and how this was affecting my chances of TTC. I gave up my job and haven't yet managed to get a BFP, but I am sooooooo much less stressed. You only realise when you step back from it how much of a toll it takes on you.

I was the subject of lots of staffroom rumours about that kind of thing, but I found out eventually that most of them originated with the Head!

I have vowed that if I ever go back, then I will only see it as a job, not a vocation. I will not be guilted into taking on extra work for promotion/as part of an initiative/out of the goodness of my heart/because I feel sorry for the kids/because I feel I owe it to the world, etc. I know lots of people thrive on that kind of thing, but I feel that it's such a demanding job anyway and you have so little time to do anything that you shouldn't have to take on extra just to seem as though you are the perfect teacher. I think it should be good enough that you are an excellent classroom teacher and that you are teaching kids properly.

Hmph. I'm sorry I'm ranting, but it annoys me so much when I see so many teachers who are intelligent, well qualified and work very hard either succumbing to illness or having to sacrifice their personal life or having to sacrifice promotion because their workload is unreasonable.

I think that somehow you just have to prioritise yourself if you can, because no one else will do it. I really feel for all you guys saying how you're too tired to DTD or you have to fit in DTD between marking. It shouldn't be that way. I think you should fit the marking in around DTD!

Sorry I don't have any answers, but sending you all my thoughts and renewed energy to enable you to DTD! Sorry for the long post!

Hello all, another teacher TTC here! Don't give up hope if you have a short luteal phase... my supposed short luteal phase is now 10 mths old and sleeping peacefully upstairs with her cuddly mouse Was v surprised to conceive her when I did as there were redundancies happening where I work and things were v stressful, and am also in my late 30s. Would have liked a bigger gap but due to my age we've decided to start TTC again. Held out til Jan as didn't want to have a summer born baby. Also would love to change jobs but there's a great maternity deal where I work so I'm hanging on on there... Here's hoping for BFPs for everyone in the coming months!

Ooh hello. Room for one more?? I teach secondary and have been TTC for 5 months. Totally understand the too tired to DTD situation. Fortunately am 7dpo so having a bit of a rest at the moment. Keeping everything crossed for a snow day tomorrow!

Thank you for starting this thread! I haven't officially started TTC yet but I know from experience I just don't have the energy to dtd much during term time. I worry there's no way I'm going to be able to have sex enough/at the right time to get pregnant.

Hi Hopeful and everyone, I too am a teacher ttc..... We on proper cycle 4 of trying after a mmc at twelve weeks in april . My cycles have gone weird since the miscarriage and being a teacher doesn't always lend itself to midweek passion asd many of you point out! I have moved from key stage two to early years this academic year and I am exhausted (but happy!)

Good luck ladies, fingers crossed for February and well timed autumn term babies!

Can I join? I'm in secondary and am convinced there should be a case study into teachers and conception rates!!

Hello! I'm a teacher too. Very similar to doobeedee actually - am just starting out on cycle 18 and I also have a short luteal phase of 9 days, with spotting at 7 and 8 DPO. Appointments are a real tricky one - I had a hospital appointment today and was out of school from 11am for the rest of the day. Had to request that my cover arrangements weren't written up on the staff room board for everyone to see as it always leads to questions.

I'm always getting pregnancy rumours sparked about me as I suffer from severe menstrual pain, which often causes vomiting. Getting fed up of people saying "Ooooh, are you pregnant?" and having to answer "No, the EXACT opposite."

Good luck to everyone in the quest for a BFP. To be honest, I'm not expecting one any time soon - just got to jump through the rest of the infertility testing hoops.