Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

JBrd, 41, one DS (21 months), TTC #2 since August 2012 - recent BFP sadly ended in mc, just starting up again

Isabeller sorry to hear about your bfn ? I am glad though you have your frozen embies waiting for you when you are ready to try again.

diege and calendergal ooh you both sound really sure your signs are positive - I hope the results are whatever you desire (sorry diege I am not sure in your case what it is you actually want )

hopeful your post made me hoot ? woman you are our thread guru!! Font of all knowledge ? how come you only just worked out the swimmers needed to be waiting to pounce Glad you finally got your peak on CBFM?didn?t give you much planning time though did it!

calibee sorry to hear about your DP's visa issues - hope it gets sorted out - wherever you go, I hope you get some quality time together (I know UK can be pricey but you can get some bargains - I went to a lovely cottage in wales once - fabulous hill walking and a roaring log fire and hot bath at the end of the day - perfect).

I waved off my DP and SC at the airport yesterday ? I have to work over the next week so couldn?t go with them (is it wrong I am secretly pleased to be having time to myself?). Came home, rushed around doing acts of housewifery then went out with the girls for wine, gossip and a kings size bed all on my own. Slept like a log for 12 straight hours? bliss!

On matters conception ? I am now CD12 and confused (which i know seems to be my position every month!) I got positive OPK?s late CD09 and first thing CD10. I have had ovulation pains CD10/11 but have still to get my temperature shift. I am still getting highs on my first month of using CBFM and my CM has gone from wet to sticky?Oh, well not much else I can do about BD?ing anyway (but did manage to BD CD8/9/10/11 so am hoping at least some of the fellas are loitering about in my tubes having a nap waiting for the egg to fire out!). We are due to go to fertility clinic on 29th March 2012 but I am going for a transvaginal scan thingy before then to see if there is anything amiss (if nothing happens this cycle - I remain ever hopeful!).

Apart from that DP surprised me yesterday by telling me that we are off to Bermuda for a long weekend in March! Yay! He has friends there who have invited us to stay with them and he has loads of airmiles which he has used for the flights. I am very, very excited.

Welcome to everyone new ? this is a fabulous thread and full of good advice and support. I look forward to getting to know you?.maybe we should have a bit of a roll call by way of introduction?

Greenlizard Age 43 (DP also 43) TTC #1 for about 6 months. No other children, never been pregnant but have two SC.

I really hope both your hunches are right...^^^

Tests due to arrive tomorrow - I could have sent you some . Will update after postie arrives. Have the familiar pregnancy feeling though, so my hunch is that I am . We need a strategy if so, re, dh...
Better go,he's lurking..

remnant, glad to hear from you. I hope you are OK. I did have the thought that your DH might feel bad and now come round to the idea of ttc again. I understand that that will take some thought on your part (given how he behaved, as well as the mmc).

I haven't had a mmc but had two mcs (both resolved naturally). I just checked my charts on FF and after the second mc my AF came back on the 40th day after first full day of mc bleeding (not including spotting). So around 5-6 weeks. I think it was similar the first time.

Welcome Martha and sorry you have had such a ghastly time. I can't imagine going through that.

JBrd, I sympathise - I have just started what feels like a nasty cold and DH is away for work for three nights starting tomorrow.

gum,no tests in the house! Amateur, huh? I have just ordered some off eBay. Not 50 though I do think I am pregnant, btw.

Diege, have you tested?

Awww poor you jbrd, you really have picked up everything going. Hopefully your holiday will give you a boost. Glad to hear af arrived...seems weird to say that on here but I do know exactlywhat you mean. I will be waiting with baited breath about this time next week to see if mine arrives.
Hello to martha...I will take a chocolate brownie thank you very much ...nom nom. Sorry to hear about your losses...it sounds like you hav had a really tough time x

that was really rushed - sorry!

Thank you for the warm welcome ladies just trying to skim read and catch up as am at work, so apologies for the rushed post.

remnant i am so sorry for your loss. my first MC happened spontaneously (started at work ) then i ended up in A&E the next morning. Personally i would have 'preferred' medical management but nature decided otherwise. My bleeding lasted 2 weeks and i got my first AF about 4 weeks later.

Second time round, because of my prev MC I managed to get some early 'reassurance scans' at 6 and 8 weeks. Then the 12 week scan went really well (he waved at us ) so we were overjoyed. I think next time round i will just wait for the 12 week scan, my consultant has said i can have a 16 week scan to check for the anomalies that were discovered at 21 weeks - so yes we would have that but i am now a bit 'meh' about any scans under 12 weeks

Southwest i liked what you said here > I never really thought that having a baby at 42 was that unusual that made me so sorry your DS was poorly, how is he now? I can highly recommend counselling - it got me through a really tough time a couple of years back.

hopeful I love your little epiphany/revalation about expectant sperm!

JBrd so sorry about your ERPC, but yay for AF heralding the dawn of a new era (or something). I dont know about you but i got a feeling of 'right thats it back to the drawing board' kind of positivity when i got my first AF.

Hello everyone, and welcome to the newbies!

jbrd sorry you're still ill!

remnant poor you. My MC was a missed one, at almost 12 weeks (the scan showed the baby died at almost 10). I started spotting brown blood and went to see my gyne the next day; she felt that as I was by then spotting red blood it was likely that it would happen naturally so she suggested waiting a few days to see if it did...and actually it did, that same evening. The pain was utterly horrendous but at least it left me in no doubt, and it was over by morning...apart from the bleeding (but nothing like what I'd had that night all night) which went on for weeks. I fact I think I only had about 4 days without bleeding before AF appeared on CD28 (with the 1st day of MC as CD1).

CD40 here and still no sign of AF. No idea what's going on. I had a teeny bit of spotting on CD34 which I thought was AF coming, especially as I had cramp. As AF still hadn't come I thought the spotting might have been implantation so tested today again - another BFN. I'm assuming AF will come at some point but I so want to get on with things!

Morning all, and welcome to the newbies! southwest and MarthasHarbour, hope you'll like it here!

Diege have you tested yet?!? I also tend to buy the tests in bulk, I reckon they will get used one way or the other, if not by me, then there is always someone else.
And please don't feel awkward about posting about symptom spotting and testing, no one will take offence! This is a conception thread, after all, it's what we all expect to read on here.

CaliBee I agree that the UK can be quite expensive for holidays, but you get some good deals, if you look for them! Shame about your DH's visa, they can be such a pain to sort out (I speak from experience!).

remnant How are you feeling? I decided to have the surgery after almost 4 weeks of waiting for anything to happen naturally. I just wanted to be able to draw a line, and it was the right decision for me. All went well, not problems, and the physical recovery was straightforward, which helped my emotional recovery as well.

And I now have my first af again, 5 weeks after the ERPC - the spotting developed into the real thing (thanks for asking, gum). I know it's not customary on this thread, but I am glad she's here (probably for the first time in my life ). I'm really hoping it's onwards and upwards from now on, and I feel quite optimistic about getting pg again! The CBFM is fired up, I've stocked up on OPKs and have warned DH of the things to come .

Well, that is if I ever get well again... Currently off -again- with this darned cold/sinusitis/whatever. Last night, I felt as if everything was taking a turn for the worse, and this morning I woke up and it was just awful. Really awkward, as I had quite a busy day with meetings and appointments at work, but I just wouldn't have been able to cope. I am so sick of being ill! Now all I want is to recover in time for our holiday next week

Morning all

remnant I remember feeling exactly as you did just a few short weeks ago. I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible and asked for surgical management, at the same time wanting to preserve my immediate fertility and hoping it would happen naturally, I was warned of the possibilty of scarring. I had the decision taken away when a scan at the hospital to confirm the findings on a private scan revealed the fetus (not seen previously and too small for dates). I spotted for about 4 days, before the bleeding stepped up and I developed mild/moderate cramps, which were dealable with paracetemol. On the 8th day after the spotting started the sac and fetus came away. Yes it was painful but I took some tips from a thread on dealing with the practicalities of miscarriage (on here)which were a godsend. Hotwater bottle, paramol, hot bath etc and it was all over within a few hours. The bleeding then was just like a normal period for around 5-6 days and light spotting for a week or so after that. I may have ovulated on cd21 (counting the mc as cd1) but only appearance of AF will confirm that.

hopeful I hope you had a lovely day off with some quality time to yourself. Its half term here this week and DS had one of his friends over for the night. They were watching Lord of the Rings at silly-o-clock this morning. Thats his playtime...my strict head will now take over as he needs to revise for his forthcoming GCSE's. Have to say I'm impressed by teachers efforts nowadays. Many are opening up school for revision days and providing pizza as an incentive.
To be honest I would begrudge spending a fortune on a UK break...they do seem to cost a fortune especially in the cold. Hopefully DP will pull his finger out today and ask his Sergeant for advice. He is away on shooting ranges from 8am til 8pm everyday this week so unable to call the visa office and I dont think they would speak to me as the non-passport holder.

thanks guys

Diege not really though I would certainly love to live there
I am in SW London usually (though not right now)

funny I never really thought that having a baby at 42 was that unusual, reflects living in my part of London I think.

I kind of flip and flop a bit I desperately want another child but at the same time dont really think it is going to happen for me.

ds was extremely ill (freak random illness not age related) and spent ages in hospital at a time when I had so much other crap going on I have a few psychological issues going on!

one of my new years resolutions was to get some counselling

Welcome martha you are very welcome here . I am so sorry for your losses - what a lot you've been through . You will find lots of friendship and the best advice on this thread - between us we could open a fertility clinic .
remnant you poor thing . I had mmc at 10 weeks (baby had died at 8) and went for the surgical option.Period started 4 wks later but I think that's not typical. With natural mc management af took about 7 weeks to arrive. Do you have to go back to the clinic next week, or are you just seeing what might happen for now? Such a horrible time,and hoping your dh is giving you support x
calendar I swear 50 tests were cheaper than 5 Seriously, happy to post out for free so just ask if you'd like a few anyone!
calibee that's a bummer about dp Does he know for sure about the visa? I too am very broke - seems like another January soon. Looking forward to marking money though.I swear that cutting back on the little things (mags, coffees) has made absolutely no difference to what's left in my bank account a week to payday!
Welcome southwest - I'm assuming that's where you hail from?

Ladies this is such a busy thread but may i join you?

I have a PFB DS age 3. We have been trying for #2 for over two years now. I got PG straight away but MC'd at 10 weeks, then got PG again last year but had to be induced at 21 weeks as our baby died in utero of Placenta Vasa

Anyway, I just turned 40 three weeks ago (so i now qualify for this thread! ). I was a regular on the 'MC Mosh Pit' thread, but stopped posting as i dont want it to be all about the MC's although-it sometimes feels like it

I have a friend who had her second at 44 and she is inspirational, she is one of the most laid back mums i know

I just got yet another AF on Saturday and feeling v fed up about it. However tonight i met a woman who tried for 7 years between DC's and now has a beautiful 2yo DD and 9yo DS. It has given me a new feeling of hope.

What is more evident is that me and DH are putting ours (and DS's) lives on hold and we have to stop doing that. DS is at such a good age and we really enjoy his company. If he is to be an only child then so be it.

BUT we do want another So can i join you for and Confucius

Nothing much happening here. Still no cramps, still no bleeding. I'd really rather let it all happen naturally but may feel differently if nothings happened by the end of next week. News finally dawned on DH yesterday and he was genuinely very sad for me. He was even horrified that I hadn't told him sooner (I had shown him the report from the scan but a few days later I realised that reading 'no heartbeat found' hadn't meant anything to him). Actually said that we could try again I if really wanted and apologised for freaking out over the whole thing! Anyway, I'm not sure how I feel about that right now. I don't believe that after this there's much hope for me anyway.

Does anyone know how long cycle typically takes to get back to normal after an MMC? Does it make a difference if it's dealt with surgically, medically or happens naturally?

Isabeller, I felt gutted for you when I read gum's post. Really hope that the next cycle works out

Sparkly, very happy (if not a little bit jealous) for you and your scan results.

50 tests Diege? And you're not really ttc?

Timing-wise, three days prior to ov is quite possible of course, though admittedly less likely at 40+. I did conceive two days prior to ov at 36.

Welcome, Southwest. I'm new to the thread too - there are lots of us suddenly come out of the woodwork for the new year . Congratulations on ds at 42. How old are you now?

CaliBee, that's disappointing about the visa. Can you go anywhere nice in the UK (perhaps wait until Easter for slightly warmer weather)?

No AF here. I think possibly sod's law has been enacted (this month really being not a good month to conceive) although my LP has been behaving oddly lately so I am trying to reserve judgement...

Well its busy here...

Hi to southwest.
I'm sorry for not namechecking everybody just now as I'm dashing up to DD1's new house to make sure they eat.
I am reading though and keeping up with the trials and tribulations.

So sorry isabeller you must be disappointed. Always here for support x
I am supposedly 5dpo but not absolutely convinced. Despite the +opk and temp acting accordingly my body feels distinctly non luteal. Usually my boobs are sore by now. I wonder if this is all part of the post mc mess up.

How did the spotting progress jbrd??

gum I'm sure I have seen that documentary....if I'm right is it the one which shows quite detailed footage of sperm meeting egg and the stages that follow?? I hope you are enjoying the cooler weather.

remnant I hope you are ok...

Hi to diege...let us know how the test goes.

So thats another weekend flown by. Dp threw a spanner in the works re the holiday...his visa may not cover going anywhere out of the UK if not on forces business. Feeling slightly miffed at having to get him to chase things up to be honest. I am going have to be uncharacteristically patient and leave this one to him. Just realised my car is due for its service and mot by the end of the month...and I'm broke. Raaaaa.
Feeling just a little pissed off and despondent.

just saying hi and marking my place, I too have rubbish internet access so had to post but I can read

Im TTC number 3 (had ds at 42) regular periods just a day shorter than before dd and still ovulate but not pregnant as yet

DId think I was once but AF came before I got a test since I wanted to wait unitl it was over 1 week late

off to read the thread now to find out about testing

Morning! Gum that sounds an interesting party! Good going on the swi-ing too. Fingers crossed you get that peak soon or you'll be at it forever .
The Alice Roberts programme is very good iirc and you are very good in seeking something new for them rather than putting on any old dross like some I know do!
Calender af due today here too, but no sign and temps higher than ever...also feel very tired and bleughh...I have ordered some tests off ebay (I have 50 coming as they were cheaper than smaller amounts ). So I'm the snug's official dispensary of tests (will post to whoever wants a few ) It couldof course be the vitex messing my cycles up. dtd-wise, I suppose in hindsight I was a little sloppy - 3 days prior to ovulation, one day after - not much of a chance there surely???
I'll admit that I feel very awkward writing this here. I feel quite tactless in light of the very sad news we have had recently, plus of course everyone desperately trying to get pregnant (if of course I am). I think I would be a bit cross if I were reading this post . Anyway, could all be nothing - will know Tuesday if not before x

Isabeller, sorry it didn't work out this time but comforting to know that you have frosties waiting. Will they try again next month or do you have to leave it a while?

sparkly, those test results sound good. It must be so hard not being able to throw yourself into enjoying the pregnancy (and hard to be patient with DH, I imagine).

remnant, I posted on your other thread a few days ago. I hope you're OK. I know it is the end of the road for you and I can imagine how awful you feel. I'll check the other thread too to see how you're doing.

AF due today here. Very much hoping it comes. Temp still high though.