Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

Am I in the right thread? 41 TTC for 2yr, MC 1yr ago. SWI, ovulation confirmed, on vitamin supplement, off caffeine & alcohol, DH on vitamin supplements, 3 previous preg. Can anyone offer any suggestions to improve our chances please? Feeling like time running out!!

So sorry jbrd. Hope you are ok in the circumstances. Xxx

JBrd I'm so so sorry things have turned out like this for you.
I'll just let you know my experience, don't know if it will help.
With my last miscarriage we found there was no heartbeat at a scan at 10 weeks but growth had stopped at 8w6d. I asked about the risk of infection if we waited for a natural mc and was told the risk was low, statistically it's low for any of the forms of management ,slightly higher for surgical than medical or natural. Having said that I wasn't bleeding at that stage so my cervix would have still been closed I presume.
I wanted to wait because the girls didn't know I was pregnant and I didn't want to have to explain going into hospital, it was the school holidays. Having already had two natural miscarriages I kind of knew what to expect too.
I was booked for another scan two weeks later but started with painful cramps a few days before and a sudden onset of heavy bleeding the morning I was due at the EPU. They told me the baby was still there,they offered me an ERPC again but as I had started they said I could well progress to a complete miscarriage on my own. I was booked for another scan in a week but went on to pass the sac etc about three days later.
So it was three weeks from the baby dying before it came out and the EPU even at 12 weeks weren't pushing to intervene.
Even with my first mc I had been bleeding for a few days before my scan and though the baby had gone the sac was still present and I wasn't booked for a rescan for a further 2 weeks(though I actually passed the sac 2 days later and they did check my blood HCG in the meantime) so they didn't seem to think there was necessarily a need to rush into intervening.
I was told if the pain was difficult to cope with or the bleeding excessively heavy to go to A&E.
In your case though you have already been bleeding for 3 weeks,so that must be draining for you, and you might feel you want some closure rather than waiting in limbo for the miscarriage to be complete.
I do think you should contact the EPU again and let them know the findings of the private scan and see what they suggest.
xxx

Jbrd....you are right to contact them tomorrow and to have an intervention (erpc) soon. If they are not moving fast enough go to a&e...the sac is still growing and your bfps will be strong. But waiting any longer is not viable ....
Sorry ...sorry...sorry xx

Jbird, apologies in advance as am on my phone. I had a similar situation, and that makes me think they aren't intervening properly for you or are working under a misunderstanding. After my 12 week scan I was told to wait a week and then come back for the meds to bring on the mc but when I returned a week later they said I would have to wait a further week. A put our foot down and said we weren't happy with the decision and a got put through to the consultant who then booked the surgery. In the end I didn't need it as the scan poked things enough to start the mc, although I did need help to finish it. And they did call it a mmc.what you described makes me think they think you want to do this naturally perhaps, I'd give then a ring and clarify things. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Jbrd
I've been thinking of you all day. I'm sorry it's not better news.
Sorry I can't help with your questions x

Oh jbrd I'm so sorry that you seem to be getting such a raw deal of things. I think in view of todays findings the EPU should be pulling their fingers out and sorting things out. Surely the risk of infection would be an indication at this point. You have been through more than enough and its time they acted.
I hope tomorrow brings some answers for you. Perhaps if you feel the EPU have let you down ask to speak to your GP or even A&E.....its time for action.
x

Hi ladies, thanks for the words of support. Well, the scan showed what I had been expecting - an empty sac still present, no heartbeat I'm relieved now that I know what the situation is, but slightly apprehensive about what will happen next.
Does the fact that I haven't passed the sac now make this a missed mc? I was really hoping to get away without any intervention, but I think that my chances for that are fading, and I'm going to have to have the ERPC

I'm also a bit disappointed with the EPU, so far I've been really happy with them. But the fact that they are not planning to scan me again, even though I have not passed any pregnancy tissue yet, have been bleeding for over 3 weeks and am still getting very strong BFPs surely would justify checking what is going on? Will give them a ring tomorrow, but I'm almost expecting that they'll tell me to wait until next week and then do another test

I would have been 11 weeks tomorrow, when do they start considering intervention? From what I have been reading, people go more or less straight on to ERPC when a mmc is detected, or am I wrong? Any chance that i will pass the sac naturally now? I really want to draw a line under all this now...

Sorry for all the questions, and not for name-checking! (Typing on the iPad is so uncomfortable)

I hope so, I'll be gutted if I'm not. All signs are pointing towards a bfp, I remember this tiredness from my dc's. X

That is very good newpatches as it is to be sleepy !!!body getting ready , right?? :)

...I immediately had images of all these lovely pictures of babies, as drawn by Lowry!

No notsoold it was just the one smear really, so far anyway but I have just had the biggest sleep on the settee!!! One minute I was lying down 'to rest my eyes' and the next 2 hours have passed, no dinner's been cooked and it's half an hour til DD2's bedtime! I also have a very strange ache in my groin and thighs, a bit like period pains I used to get when I was at school...haven't had them like that since I was 15. lol @ the age thing too...sadly I keep having to remind myself that I am 44 and not 24 as I thought!

Jbrd how are you?

Sticky....not stick...:)

Jbrd...thinking of you...any news??

Newpatches still spotting?

Sparkly excellent news!!

Today I remembered that I am 41 and not 42 as I thought!!! :)
So need get a stick baby soon....

Love to allxxx

Quick question - does anyone know what normal FSH levels on day 5 of cycle are meant to be???
Sorry for the quick post, on my way out!

morien sorry you're not feeling well. Just enjoy the rest, sleep and relax. At least if AF shows up you can, as they say, start a new cycle afresh.

Jbrd fingers crossed for today, let us know how it goes.

Much love to everyone else, sorry I haven't namechecked everyone but am typing and hovering and generally multi tasking.

I have just noticed a slight bloody stain on my underwear...very slight but there. None on tp at all. I'm now 6dpo so am hoping and praying it's implantation bleeding. Felt slightly nauseous this morning again, and am now ravenously hungry which is peeing me off slightly as I have been diligently following slimming world's plan. I am also exceptionally tired (a true symptom of pregnancy in the past for me). I slept very deeply last night - DP was awake all night tossing and turning apparently but I didn't notice a thing which is unusual for me as I usually sleep very lightly. Woke up absolutely busting to go to the loo.

Hope you all have a lovely (or at least restful and peaceful day)

Morning all!

sparkly, I'm really glad to hear your news. May it be plain sailing from now on...

jbrd, good luck with your scan, will be thinking of you this afternoon. I think it'll be money well spent, just for you to have some clarity about what's going on.

Isabeller, hope you've managed to think of something to say in the card - I think it's a lovely thing to do (but hard...)

remnant, how are you feeling today?

I've got a tiny bit of brown spotting this morning so I assume AF is moving in (looks like I'll be joining you, greenlizard and quickdowntonson). I didn't test this month as I just didn't see the point, I've been so sure that AF was going to show up - not in a negative, 'I'll never get my BFP' kind of way, more just resigned acceptance that it's not this month. Today is CD35, and that's much more like my cycle length pre-MC than the 28/29 days I've had since, so maybe it's a sign that things are finally back to normal.

And on top of AF, I'm off work sick, having caught DP's virus - the dr told him it's a 'cousin of flu'. I felt worse and worse throughout the day yesterday, and today's worse again. So I'm snuggled up on the couch with a fleecy blanket and a book which my head hurts to much to read.

Glad you have a scan booked jbrd - fingers crossed it goes well. I can quite see that thinking about building your career at this particular moment might be a bit too much!

hopeful I was thinking about this wonky cycle (poss. no Ovulation with early and heavy period) and if I had done anything different. I had taken EPO until what I thought was mid cycle (was planning to stop when I O'd but as that didn't happen I better stop anyway) I am wondering if that had anything to do with it. Guess I won't know but I won't be taking EPO this month! Have you taken Vitex? I have read conflicting views on it. I might just go au naturel this month except the conception vitamin I am on and see if my cycle rights itself. I couldn't get my 21 progesterone done as I had started by period by then so will have to try that this cycle. I have found a local registered acupuncturist who specialises in fertility issues so planning to make an appointment today. I am strangely excited about it - DP who doesn't believe in anything except good old medical doctors is raising his eyes at this. We ended up having an argument spirited discussion about "alternative" therapies - this discussion happens a lot as I am a vegetarian and willing to try different ways of thinking - he thinks I am a total tree hugger. He's right of course - proud of it! One with an open mind I like to think Mind you he has totally changed his diet and lifestyle since we've been together and feels much better for it.

sparkly that is quite the turnaround in DH behaviour - sounds like he has had a word with himeself! Does he have any idea of the impact of his behaviour on you and DD? The reason I ask is that my DP is a huffy so and so and when he goes in one of his moods (which can appear without warning and go on for a couple of days) it wouldn't cross his mind to apologise for it when he finally comes out of his man cave (or huffy hollow as I like to call it) mainly because he seems incapable of empathy at these times...the rest of the time he is a different man. I agree when things have settled (and you get to sit down with him) you should tell him how is behaviour made you feel. I better he is clueless! I am glad though that he seems to have turned a corner....may your pregnancy be totally dull and boring from now on

Sorry AF got you quickdowntonson I am slight ahead of you. Enjoy your wine and just think we are first in line for next months BFP's if they are handing them out!

Drwhofan well done on the move and fingers crossed this month is it. Sounds promising..

remnant please don't stress about twins just yet!! I think strong symptoms sound good and a sign of a strong pregnancy which is the first step and of course each pregnancy is different.

Isabeller Good luck with writing the card - I think it is lovely that your donor will get to know how much this will mean to you and your DH and good luck with all the preparation.

Right, I have made myself late with all this typing...got to go to work. Have a lovely fertile day

jbrd will be thinking of you today.....

sparkly I'm glad DH has "softened" a little...some men have a natural selfish streak in them. It probably never even occurred to him that his actions were so inappropriate....maybe now that things have settled a little you could arrange some time for a chat and tell him that his behaviour is not on your list just now.

Raa to the af quickdowntonson ....a new fresh cycle to concentrate on

Have a lovely day ladies x

Jbrd, so glad you've managed to get a private scan, hopefully it will provide some clarity and you'll know what is/has been happening instead of having to sit it out for days.

gum glad you are safe from the bush fires.

Good to hear from you drwho, hope the move went as smoothly as possibly and you'll be fully internetted up soon. Symptoms sound promising, hope this is your month.

Isabeller, writing a card for your donor is a lovely thing to do, but I imagine finding the right words is really hard.

quickdowntonson sorry AF got you, enjoy the wine, and good luck for this cycle. I think the cave analogy for my DH is a good one, but he appears to have come out of it!

Much to my astonishment, he was very affectionate when he got home, and said he woke up yesterday morning feeling much better, as if all the stress had been released. It was an abnormal reaction and some sort of panic attack, but he appears to be over it, and it'll be ok. Thank you so much, ladies, for your support over the past few days, particularly those of you going through hard times yourselves. I'm intending to go to the GP on Friday, which is my first chance, and would definitely have mentioned DHs reaction if things had not improved. We didn't have much time to talk due to the day/night thing, but hopefully we've turned a corner. Of course there's a long way to go, and like remnant says, if I'm still pregnant in March, I'll be amazed. Go to go, work beckons. Love to all.

sorry JBrd crossed posts, glad you're having a scan tomorrow, hope it clarifies things for you.
Thinking about your job must feel like a low priority at the moment with everything else you have going on, it can wait!
Enjoy Lord of the Rings !

Good morning gum ! I was wondering if the bush fires would affect you at all but thought you might be ok where you are, good to hear you're safe and well!
I hope AF doesn't turn up for you.
My temp increased this morning and ewcm has gone so I presume I ovulated yesterday and am now starting the 2ww. I hope timing has been ok.

I went out for lunch with DS today,he doesn't go back to Uni till next week and since the girls are back to school and DH is away I thought we'd have some mother-son time. It was a lovely meal and it was nice to have a chance to talk,he's great company and even if I wasn't related to him I'd want him as a friend!

Sorry AF got you downtown I'll raise a virtual glass with you to toast your brand new cycle full of opportunity!

remnant sorry you feel so rubbish but strong symptoms could be indicating high hormone levels so surely that's a positive thing!

Drwho sounds like you need to test!!

Isabeller it's lovely you can write a card to your donor but it must be hard to know what to say! Hope you get lots of eggs that result in BFPs for you both.

JBrd that's a really good idea of gum's ,to have bloods taken, you could even have that done at your GP if the EPU wont see you earlier and it would help give you a better idea of what's happening.

So I have now booked myself a private scan for tomorrow afternoon. I decided I just need to know, one way or the other, I just cannot continue getting derailed every time I am starting to get back on track again.
I was meant to have a quiet and relaxing week to re-gain my strength, but so far, it has been anything but that! Work has already started pestering me about deadlines, reports, grant applications blablabla, and I made the stupid stupid mistake of getting sucked in. Won't ever make that mistake again.

Then I was meant to go on this all-day workshop in Oxford on Thursday, driving down tomorrow night and staying in a hotel. Which is not happening now, but I was stressing about missing it - I'm aiming for a career change, and this workshop would have been very useful to get information and meet people from the field I want to move into. But I just can't concentrate on this now - my CV still needs work, I need to do more research and start the networking - but I literally can't. Didn't help that DH kept saying 'Ooh, I really think you should go, this would be really good for you and your career' - not realising how pressurised this made me feel (DH is very career-orientated and readily projects that onto other people, i.e. me). Until I had a mini-meltdown earlier, and now he feels terribly guilty, poor sod.

But I've now made up my mind to get clarification what is going on with my body first, and feel much better about it. Incidentally, the hotel cost that I now don't have to pay will cover the scan fee .

And now I will retire to bed and attempt to read another chapter of one of my all-time favourite books, Lord of the Rings. Great escapism, just what I need (if I can stay awake).