Page 33 | Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

hopefulgum · 2013-01-01T23:20:41+00:00

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...[smile] This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

Original poster

hopefulgum · 10/01/2013 22:09

Cross post with you Sparkly, glad to hear your nights are finished (are you a nurse?) and that you can have a break. I'm sure you could use some rest and a chance to catch up, especially after having MIL in the house all that time. GOd knows I would have been done for murder if I'd had MIL or my mother in the house for longer than a few hours (and my MIL is quite nice).

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sparklysapphire · 10/01/2013 22:06

Crossed posts drwho. You sound nice and cosy though .

Original poster

hopefulgum · 10/01/2013 22:05

Thinking of you Jbrd. I hope it goes well. Having the ERPC was a way I could start to move on, but it doesn't in anyway change the feeling of loss. Sending love your way.

Greenlizard, I'll be handing the torch to newpatches, whose symptoms are definitely more promising than mine. My 's are still tender, but I noticed the tiniest bit of blood last night, so fully expect AF to turn up. I am 13 dpo today, was woken at 4.30am by DS so didn't take my temperature, so have no idea how that looks.

I am seriously considering weaning myself off the whole ttc thing. Perhaps giving up charting, opks, fertility monitor. But as soon as I think that, I then think,"but I only just bought the monitor, would be a waste if I don't use it", and,"if I don't temp and chart,I'll not know what is going on with my cycle,and won't know when to expect AF" (in other words,I am a control freak).

I guess I'll keep it up a bit longer, particularly as DH is going to be away the weekend I'm expecting ovulation, so that way I won't get my hopes up by being ignorant, IYKWIM.

Morien, Drwhofan and Greenlizard, I am definitely not in the same boat as you, as I started having my family young (at 24) and have had a handful of kids, but I think it is so unfair when blame is placed upon older women for "waiting" to have children. There are all sorts of reasons for the "wait", mostly they are out of y/our control. The longing for a baby, no matter your age, time ttc or circumstances is real and understandable. I hope everyone woman on this thread can have a take home baby, as everyone of us deserve to do so.

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sparklysapphire · 10/01/2013 22:05

JBrd, I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time over the past few weeks, but I'm really pleased that your determination to get it resolved has paid off - a lesson for us all I think. I hope the procedure is straightforward tomorrow and doesn't leave you feeling any more battered, I'll be thinking of you.

Drwho, sorry AF got you, especially when it all seemed so promising. Have you warmed up? hopeful are you doing ok? Morien, sorry you are unwell, but at least your DP is looking after you. Patches, what about you, are you feeling better? Remnant, I've been getting quite a bit of cramping, but have been since before the BFP when I was convinced AF was on the way. I can't pinpoint any symptoms with hindsight either. I hope you're ok and it's just an early pregnancy symptom. I too keep expecting to start bleeding just because of high risk of mc, but ok so far.

Welcome loublou and good luck.

My nights are over (hooray!) and I'm off next week, no plans but had loads of leave to use and as I was working over Christmas I thought a break would be nice. Major tidying/sorting to be done though. I've not had chance for further chat with DH, and he's out with a mate tonight which has been planned for a while, so I'm hoping we can have a proper chat tomorrow. I really hope that he is now ok and is not going to relapse into panic.

DoctorWhoFan · 10/01/2013 21:54

Greenlizard, I'm thinking of giving acupuncture a go when I have a bit of money, so will you let me know how you get on? Churz x

DoctorWhoFan · 10/01/2013 21:52

You ladies are cracking. Thanks for being so sweet. My mood has improved slightly, even if the temperature in the house hasn't! DP is currently out bossing innocent wee scouts about. I've been under my duvet since he left with a snoring Staffy curled up next to me on the bed, even though he's not technically allowed in the bedroom! Ssssh, I won't tell if you won't.

JBrd, I really hope it all goes well in the morning. After all that fannying about, at least something is getting done so you can move on and get cracking again ehen you feel up to it. Sparkly - that sounds better for you all round. I hope things continue to get better at home.

Sure I've missed people. If so, I'll hopefully be back in better form next week. Plus I won't be trying to update things on my Android. It's a bit rubbish in compcomparison to the pc.

Love to all xx

greenlizard · 10/01/2013 21:23

ps. newpatches and hopeful it seems that you are now our torch bearers for bfps this month!!

greenlizard · 10/01/2013 21:22

Drwho fan you have my sympathy, I know exactly how you feel ? well maybe I don?t because I had no promising signs this month whatsoever - having so many symptoms then for AF to turn up so darn promptly is just rubbish ? boo!

Like you and Morien, I only met my DP later in life - I was 40 ? if I had met him earlier (before my first foray round the block with DP number one ? who really turned out to be a P without the D bit!) I can?t help thinking I would be knee deep in kids by now. I do have a successful career but to be honest that is only because I didn?t have a family to occupy me during my 30?s. I worked hard because I could and for much of that time I had no-one waiting at home for me so late nights at the office were the norm. Now before it sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself and bemoaning my situation, if I am honest I had a cracking time ? I have many friends who like me were single, child-free and would come out and play during the week and at the weekends so I had a brilliant social life. I have travelled to many amazing places around the world both with work and on holiday and I know I wouldn?t have had all those experiences if I had children, but being a mum is the only thing I have always wanted. So, I finally met my lovely, lovely man late in the day (hopefully not too late) and here we are trying to have a baby together?I know it isn't the end of the world if we can?t and I am glad that I have been given the chance to try but dammit I have waited a long time!

Today I made an appointment for my first acupuncture session next week after having a long chat with the acupuncturist on the phone today ?she sounds great so I am optimistic it will be enjoyable if nothing else (whilst secretly hoping it will be the magic bullet in achieving the elusive bfp

jbrd Is good luck the right thing to say for tomorrow? It doesn't sound quite right but I really hope it goes ok for you. You have been so strong and brave (I am in awe)....am sending you positive, supportive thoughts. xxxx

NewPatchesForOld · 10/01/2013 20:56

Jbrd, I'm so sorry for all you have been through, I'll be (virtually) holding your hand tomorrow. I'm glad you're getting everything sorted tomorrow though and won't have to wait.
Indeed, up chucking chocolate would not be good, although my scales might disagree! Felt nauseous all afternoon but it seems to have eased of now.
X

Irishmammybread · 10/01/2013 20:28

JBrd glad the EPU finally are sorting things out for you and you have some resolution, hope it goes ok tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you . x

JBrd · 10/01/2013 20:13

remnant hope you're feeling better and that the cramping has stopped!

DoctorWho Sorry about AF turning up in spite of all your athletics effort. It's so frustrating when you think you literally sh**ed your brains out, but it still didn't work. Wail all you need!

NewPatches Are you feeling any better? Throwing up after chocolate is not good, let's hope it's not a tummy bug

Well - went back to the EPU today after a long phone call to discuss the options for the further mc management. I've decided to opt for the surgical procedure, as the medical one is basically like an induction. As soon as the nurse described it like that, I had made up my mind - I had a horrific induction with DS, and even though I know that this is nowhere near the same, the thought of doing anything remotely similar again just petrifies me. Unfortunately, the earliest they could book me in for the surgery was the 21st.

Then I get a phone call from the lovely EPU nurse at 7.30pm, one of the surgeons has an slot in her schedule - tomorrow morning So am now going in for 8am to get it done. And then hopefully can start to move on...

Morien · 10/01/2013 18:01

DrWhoFan, so you've joined this week's AF club too. Sorry. I know what you mean - I'd just never met anyone I wanted to have children with until I met DP, and it's frustrating when AF keeps on coming. I read about older women being so selfish, having put their careers first and expecting to have children in their 40's...I'm not sure that's such a bad thing anyway, but it's not even my case! As you say, not my fault I didn't meet the father of my future (I hope!) child sooner!

patches it all sounds very promising!

Have spent the day sleeping and feeling sorry for myself. Haven't been properly ill like this for years! DP is usually utterly crap when I'm poorly but this time, as he had it himself first and knows how horrible it is, he's being lovely and he's really looking after me.

DoctorWhoFan · 10/01/2013 16:12

Oh, and the heating is on the blink in the new gaff and it's minus fucking 1 in here and I've been waiting for the engineer all day! BRRRRRR....

DoctorWhoFan · 10/01/2013 16:10

Aaargh. Too depressed for words. Effing period turned up bang on time following a month in which we shagged until we were sick of the sight of each other and our respective tender bits were, well, tender! I definitely ovulated. I then had 2 weeks of symptoms, and wallop. The bitch is here in full force and I just want to wail!

Sorry about the "me" post. Especially as there are ladies here who are having a much, MUCH worse time of it. It's just that I'm 46 this year and each period that arrives robs me of my much wanted first baby. Snot my fault it took so long to meet the love of my life

NewPatchesForOld · 10/01/2013 15:21

Remnant, I googled too...nice, lol. Well...I just threw up rather profusely, after eating chocolate which I usually love! It started off with heartburn earlier, then after lunch felt queasy and then up it came! Feel rough but very pleased! But could be a tummy bug (am I the only one who keeps trying to rationalise symptoms? )

remnant · 10/01/2013 12:37

On phone, sorry. Meant so much so

remnant · 10/01/2013 12:36

Well more tmi but I've definitely got a different smell, so my h so I googled it yesterday and it seems it can be. Hope this is your lucky month!

NewPatchesForOld · 10/01/2013 11:32

hello ladies

I have a TMI question for you all, so apologies in advance...it's all about scents.

Every month for a few days prior to AF visiting, I get an odour...y'know...down there. Not a fishy one, or foul...just different, quite pungent. As soon as AF steps foot inside the door it goes.

Well, today I have noticed a similar odour, and was wondering whether this means AF is still coming, or if anyone got a similar one in early pregnancy too? I was convinced this was my month, all the signs are there, but now this has thrown me. I believe the pre AF smell is hormone related, so wondering if it could be the same in early pg?

Original poster

hopefulgum · 10/01/2013 08:05

You know remnant, now that you mention it, when I was ttc our son after the vasectomy reversal, I did take robitussin cough syrup, and used preseed lubricant. I don't know if that's what did it, because I also took red clover tablets up til ovulation that month too. But I may have done it in earlier months when I didn't conceive., so who knows what the clincher was in the end It might have happened had I done nothing (apart fromt he sex of course) at all. It is mind boggling.

When I reread the list I wrote I realised that I have really given it my all, and seriously, there's not much else I can do, except work my way towards acceptance. That's the hardest thing of all

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remnant · 10/01/2013 00:27

LouBlou, welcome

Hopeful, I love your list, certainly a few more things on it than I've tried Haven't you tried cough syrup to make mucus more runny. A naturopath recommended lambs livers and spinach to me, instead of vitamin supplements, but I chickened out of the liver at least.
I'm very sorry about the impending arrival of your AF, and about your DH's plans to go away next month. That really sucks.

I've had a rubbish day, I started feeling shakey and cold, (rather than dizzy and flushed) then I had some cramping, and ever since I've been rushing to the loo to check for blood. None found yet.

quickdowntonson your asking about early symptoms, and given that I felt I'd missed the boat last month completely I really wasn't looking out for any. In retrospect though I had started picking up on smells (tmi, I was actually obsessed with the smell of dirty laundry, like it was much worse than usual). Stuffy nose too, strangely.

JBrd · 10/01/2013 00:00

Hi LouBLou71, yes, you are absolutely in the right thread, welcome! Lots of lovely knowledgeable people here (not me, though - 41, 1 DS, ttc since August last year and currently having a mc - I've been relying very much on the wisdom of the ladies here myself!). Hope you won't have to stay too long

sparkly - so glad your DH seems to pick up, let's hope it stays that way! Definitively a move in the right direction.

hopefulgum I don't envy you and your dilemma! Have you spoken to your GP about clomid? I remember you said that she (or maybe it was your consultant?) was really nice and that you trust her. One always hopes that there might be a chance it will happen 'on it's own' and that taking drugs to help things along equals to admitting defeat... But on the other hand we have these amazing drugs available to us, why not utilise them? Just my opinion, but then again, I am a firm believer that modern medicine is quite a wonderful thing... How long would you be taking it, should you decide pro-clomid?
Hope that you can come to a decision that you are happy with!

Thank you for sharing your stories, Irish and twenty! I will call the midwife and/or EPU tomorrow to discuss the scan results with them. I had hoped that it would all happen naturally, but I don't think I could deal with waiting for that while carrying on as normal. Who knows how long it will take?! No way I could function at work like this... I have been putting everything on hold in the last few weeks, fortunately with the holidays that was quite easy to achieve, but it's getting more and more difficult now. I'm already having to push back because work keep pestering me with stuff. My poor DH and DS have been getting the raw end of the deal big time, it's not fair on them. And I want to make plans for nice things again - DH has suggested a mini-break in February, and we're invited to a wedding in Scotland in the summer - and I so want to start doing exercise again, I really miss it (was even contemplating doing the C25K like some of you!). All this will help me with the grieving process, so I am want to re-gain at least some sense of control and get on with my life. And I am keen starting ttc again... Am I delusional?

So if there has to be medical intervention, I'd rather have it sooner than later. No point going back to work to then have to take more time off soon after. I don't actually care about work as such, but they do need to know where they're at with me, either I'm there or I'm not.
Fingers crossed that the EPU will agree with me and start discussing options...

Original poster

hopefulgum · 09/01/2013 23:45

P.S. - have lots of sex...I forgot that one

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Original poster

hopefulgum · 09/01/2013 23:44

Hi LouBlou -you are definitely on the right thread. Welcome

Suggestions for improving chances? Wow, there are so many:

Start taking your waking temperature with a specific "basal" thermometer,and chart the results on Fertility Friend. this will give you a clear idea of your cycles and when you are likely to be fertile.

Use ovulation predictor sticks (cheapest ones are online)

Consider investing in a Clearblue fertility monitor if you want a good clear guide to when you are most fertile. This is not cheap and the sticks are pricey.

There has been talk of supplements that help with egg quality, but there is conflicting information. However the protocol usually involves: DHEA 75mg a day, Coq10 400-600mg a day. Some people also take myo-inisitol and L-arginine and melatonin. I don't bother with that, the supplements just cost too much! I have also read that these things help with fertility:Vitamin E, VIt D (you may want to check if you are deficient), royal jelly, extra folic acid,aspirin, maca, wheatgrass, manuka honey, fermented cod liver oil etc,etc.

Have you considered clomid? You could discuss that with your GP.

Alternative therapies: Acupuncture is great for fertility and overall health. I find it helps to relax me, which is useful as ttc is stressful. I believe some ladies have had good luck with reflexology. I think hypnotherapy is also supposed to be beneficial. Also, yoga and meditation might help.

There are upteen books written on fertility and fertility diets,and to be honest I think I may have read them all in the last five years. A common thread in all of them is that a diet that it high in vegetables, omega three fats (from fish, grass fed meat etc), and good sources of protein is the best option. For some people dairy is a good idea, but for others it is a no no. Traditional Chinese Medicine suggests that dairy products are "cooling" which is bad for conception. A cold womb is not good in the eyes of my acupuncturist. She's been trying to get me off dairy for years. I have been off it now for about 6 months and do feel better for it. But I think everyone is different.

Okay, now for some of the more crazy things one can do (I'm not admitting to having done them myself ):

-Buy a fertility spell from Mia angel - she used to sell them on ebay, but I think they banned her from selling spells so now she sells fertility jewelry but does spells elsewhere. I know someone who got pregnant three times with three of her spells, but miscarried each time (the two are clearly not related!)

-ask a psychic what to do. Mine said I'd get preggo with twins next month if I take the clomid. I 6don't6 actually believe her.

-wear fertility jewelry: pink quartz, moonstone, fertility goddess symbols

-Feng Shui the house and particularly the bedroom to allow conception (in other words: tidy up).

-drink gallons of nettle and red clover tea to boost fertility (tastes like pond scum, so it must be really good)

-complete a visualisation board (otherwise known as a "treasure map") with images of what you would like the universe to provide .I have seen one mine with pictures of positive pregnancy tests, bulging bellies and newborns.

Well that's all I could come up with for now.

I have tried almost everything (barring a fertility clinic). Perhaps at our age it is just a matter of being patient. I know how hard that is.

I have just realised my DH will be away during my next fertile phase, so next month might be a bust already. F*%$ing H$ll !!

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notsoold · 09/01/2013 23:39

Sorry...loblou...I wanted to highlight you name and got it wrong....see??? Empty head ...here goes loublou :)

notsoold · 09/01/2013 23:37

Hi loublou...welcome!!
Absolutely the right thread!!! I never know anything but someone will come along and be wise to you...I just wanted to welcome you!!!:)