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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

992 replies

hopefulgum · 01/01/2013 23:20

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...Smile

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

OP posts:
CaliBee · 16/01/2013 23:16

hopeful I think he would fly if he could lol. The biggest problem is that we have heavy snow forecast over the UK on Friday...apparently up to 15cm...and particularly heavy right down the central band from north to south which covers both where he is in North Yorkshire down to me in Shropshire . In this country a couple of cm's brings everything to a grinding halt. I would hate for him to get stuck somewhere halfway and have to be getting back for Sunday.

CaliBee · 16/01/2013 23:13

Its so helpful reading other peoples views on how men react. You all seem to be able to state things so eloquently...to a point where I have that "ahhh yes" moment. isadorable I guess you know exactly how I feel. DP is 19 years younger than me...he's 23 Blush However I swear to god he has been here before. He can be very wise and mature...but he is still after all a male!!! I think having a pretty tough upbringing by his single Mom in Grenada has made him very different to the 23 year olds I know over here in the UK.
I think I have come to the decision to wait until my appointment on Monday and if miscarriage doesnt arrive naturally to enquire about surgical management. The leaflets I was given today do mention the possibility of cervical damage and uterine adhesions which may affect future fertility though. Does anybody know any statistics of this??

Original poster
hopefulgum · 16/01/2013 22:53

Welcome captivating tears. I know I've already chimed in on the other thread, but just wanted to add that my testosterone was also low so and my doctor prescribed homeopathic DHEA. Which I took, but I personally don't believe that homeopathics do much, so I ordered proper DHEA and I am taking that instead. I haven't had any notable side effects from it, so I think I probably need it.

When you say you have very high oestrogen levels, how high is it? Did you also have your FSH tested? A high estrogen level can mean that the FSH is also high, trying hard to make you ovulate. I think it might be a good idea to try to get the estrogen level down a bit (as high levels indicate perimenopause, as do low levels, which I haveSad). Have you tried "Vitex" - a herbal supplement which can help sort out hormone levels - especially useful if your periods are all over the place.

Have you talked to your doctor about trying clomid? If ovulation is not regular it may help with that, but there are other factors to consider. My doctor suggested it wasn't right for me, mainly because I ovulate regularly on my own and it can stuff up your lining and your fertile mucus.

If you can afford it and are open to it, I think acupuncture can help too.

OP posts:
Original poster
hopefulgum · 16/01/2013 22:45

Calibee, I am so sorry. I know how heart-breaking it is to have your dreams shattered this way. And to have DP so far away makes it very difficult indeed. What previous posters have said about the way men deal with this is so true. They simply cannot feel the closeness and attachment women have with their baby from the word go. It is foreign to them, so they will feel the loss, but (usually,I'm sure there are exceptions) they just don't feel the depth of grief we feel.

I know it may be a long journey for your DP to come home, but I do think he should be there with you. It is hard enough having a miscarriage,but so much harder if your DP can't be there to hold your hand and give you a cuddle. Even if it is 8 hours on a train, it's still nothing compared to what you are going through. If he can't be there, perhaps your sister could be? You really shouldn't have to tough this out on your own.

COme and vent your feelings on here if it helps.

OP posts:
isadorable · 16/01/2013 22:33

So sorry Calibee. My boyfriend is 17 years younger than me and was 25 when I was pregnant. I remember he struggled to know how to support me at times and could be quite detached. Now he's a dad he's besotted with her and actually very soft about babies in general. So if we do it again, it'll be different but it did make me see the different stages we are at in life. Sometimes that space can feel lonely I know, but I get the impression lots of men struggle with supporting us in tough times, especially if they think of us as strong.

Take care of yourself - I hope you get to see each other soon.

remnant · 16/01/2013 22:32

Calibee, I am really sad it didn't turn out differently for you today.
Hope everything gets resolved quickly x

greenlizard · 16/01/2013 22:03

calibee I have no experience of what you are going through and can only imagine how hard this for you right now. I know it is a generalisation but one of the ways (straight) men seem to cope with emotionally difficult situations is to detach themselves and retreat from the situation until they are "ready" to deal with it. This is undeniably rubbish for you. It seems our cross to bear that when we most need our men to support us we end up caring for them instead...grrrrrrr. What is good is that he recognises he feels detached (or do I just have low expectations?!) and can tell you about it. I am sure he doesn't understand why he does feel this way just yet.

I hope he can get this weekend and you can be together during this difficult time. In the meantime, take care of yourself if you can. Sleep and rest much as possible and eat well. Will be thinking of you. Xxx

CaliBee · 16/01/2013 21:39

Had a long chat with DP...he admitted to feeling a bit emotinally detached just now. Guess I have to admire his honesty. I so hope the weather doesnt stop him getting to me at the weekend. I think its important to both of us and the development of our relationship to at least have sometime together whilst this is going on.

CaliBee · 16/01/2013 21:37

captivatingtears Hi there...
Just a quicky from me...my amh was "negligible" at about 0.3 or something...basically a shit count. I never had oestrogen count but my cd3 fsh was 20...basically shit too. My cycles had become irregular and long...genrally about 40 days. However I did go on to get a BFP on clomid in the first month. Sadly its not ending well but it just goes to show it can happen.

greenlizard · 16/01/2013 20:20

captivatingtears I personally can't help you interpret your results as I don't know a great deal about it but there are plenty of wiser ladies on here who might be able to help you. I am just starting to have my blood tests so will be interested in any advice you get.

So no help at all but just wanted to say hello and welcome to the thread!

Good luck

twentythirteen · 16/01/2013 19:50

Isabeller, that's fascinating to me, I don't know anything about it arms Wii look forward to hearing how it goes, good luck!!!

twentythirteen · 16/01/2013 19:48

Calibee, that's heartbreaking news, i'm so sorry to hear it, and that your oh is so far away right now both physically and emotionally, big big hugs.

CaliBee · 16/01/2013 19:47

Its just me here tonight. Dd2 is working until 11ish and and Ds is in his room....thats his cave lol

captivatingtears · 16/01/2013 19:46

Hello

I was on another strand and was told to hop over here!

I wonder if any of you can answer a quick question. I'm 43, still having periods (irregular - can be 16 days apart, 35 days, 25 etc), with good progesterone and oestrogen levels (v high oestrogen) although low testosterone.

However my AMH test was awful - 0.09

My blood tests don't suggest menopause is imminent but the AMH tests suggest I have so few eggs that menopause is very much on its way.

I don't really understand it - am I misinterpreting the info?

TiA

CaliBee · 16/01/2013 19:46

Thanks lizard and DoctorWho

I feel ashamed at being angry with him now Blush. I confess I feel a little that if he spoke to his corporal and explained , they may give him some space to make a call to me. When I gently suggested that this may help yesterday...he made it clear that he wasnt going to do that incase the corporal took the mick. Personally I would be seething if this was the case. But it has made me wonder if maybe he is avoiding me and/or the situation. Afterall he is having the time of his life mountaineering and caving. He is saying he is going to come down at the weekend....however with the snow thats been forecast I'm not sure its a good idea. The train journey takes 4 hours as it is...it could be twice that.

DoctorWhoFan · 16/01/2013 19:41

Greenlizard said it so much better than me Calibee re your DP...

DoctorWhoFan · 16/01/2013 19:39

Oh Calibee, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. There are no words that I can say that will make you feel any better.

Hard for you especially with the situation with your DP. It's completely normal to feel angry in this kind of situation, you just have to allow yourself to go through all the emotions until you come out the other side. Just remember it's not your DP's fault that he's away while this is happening. It's completely sucky that he is, and it's probably very difficult for him to talk to you with all the other young guys bouncing around in the background.

When's he next home?

Hang in there honey. Do you have anyone to keep you company tonight so you're not alone? Xx

greenlizard · 16/01/2013 19:34

Ah Calibee so sorry it didn't turn out to be better news Sad. You have every right to be feeling angry - I hope mother nature treats you better this weekend.

As for your DP, I am sure that he has no idea how to deal with this situation so far away from you (as well as dealing with his feelings)..that he can't be there with you and supporting you might make him feel a bit useless.

Big hugs.

Morien · 16/01/2013 18:51

I'm so sorry to hear your news CaliBee. I'm sorry you don't have your DP by your side as well - horrible to go through this without him there. Thinking of you.

CaliBee · 16/01/2013 18:27

Thankyou cheese, pink, jbrd and irish

I'm home alone...again. I have informed work, just told them I would be back when I'm back.
Dp managed a 2 min phone call, with lads laughing and joking in the background where he sounded cold and distant....didnt even have chance to discuss what had happened. Why do I feel so damn angry??? Angry with him for not being here, angry with my body for letting me down, angry with the army for making him put them first.
I want to pack my bags and run.....sniff Sad

lotsofcheese · 16/01/2013 18:14

Big hugs from me too, Calibee. I'm so, so sorry - life is very unfair sometimes. You have lived with such uncertainty the last wee while.

In terms of your options, I've had 2 erpc's & found them absolutely fine, can't comment on other options as have only had that.

Please take time to care for yourself. Hoping your dp can be with you soon for moral support xxx

littlepinkfizz · 16/01/2013 18:07

So sorry to hear your news calibee

Big , big hugs x

JBrd · 16/01/2013 16:25

Oh, CaliBee, I am so so sorry Hmm How horrid that this had to happen, my heart goes out to you.
Be kind to and take care of yourself in this difficult time!

Irishmammybread · 16/01/2013 16:24

CaliBee I'm so sorry it wasn't a better outcome for you, I was hoping you'd have good news this afternoon. It's just devastating , I know how you feel.
Sending you a big hug,look after yourself xxx

CaliBee · 16/01/2013 16:18

hello ladies.....
It wasn't good news. They have diagnosed a mmc.
Feeling very sorry for myself.
I have to think about how I want it managed and go armed with my thoughts to Monday's appointment at epau.....if mother nature is kind she will sort t before then.

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