Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

Hi sparkly good that you got an appointment with the dr and they are referring you for a scan tomorrow. How many weeks are you? Is there any chance you could be less pregnant than you thought? Hope it all goes ok.

I came back to work on Monday and the first day back was fine but then yesterday I nearly burst into tears several times. Today I feel ok again. I guess things will be up and down for a bit. Trying to look forward but each time I do I feel bad for the little one that never was.

Afternoon everyone,

Good to hear from you zeuxippe, glad the bleeding has stopped. How are you feeling in yourself?

Green, that seems mad that you can find out what may be causing any infertility, but you can't have treatment. It must at least be reasurring that your tests came back normal. Is going to see a fertility consultant privately an option?

Gum, you must be relieved DS was ok with being left. The health class sounds entertaining at the very least, glad it's not as bad as you expected. Sorry that AF got you though, maybe next month will be your month.

Drwho, sorry about AF for you too, I hope you get your BFP soon.

Hugs to calibee, you seem to be doing amazingly well, even though we know you're finding it hard.

Morien, interesting symptoms, maybe worth POAS just in case?

AFM, I've been to the doctor's this morning, I was astonished to get an appointment. She was very nice, I told her about the spotting, she examined me, and thinks my uterus is a bit small for my dates, so has got me a EPU appointment tomorrow. I also explained I was unconvinced about there actually being a baby in there, and wasn't sure if she was just being kind when she said it was a bit small and actually thinks there's nothing there too. DH offered to come with me to the EPU, even though he doesn't want to, but he's working and I seem to remember they don't allow partners in for the scan anyway, so I think I'm ok to go on my own and I'm expecting bad news.

Am finally emerging from mc haze. Stopped bleeding yesterday I think, which is a relief. Thanks to everyone for the supportive messages last week.

drwho sorry to hear af got you, that's rubbish

calibee I'm very excited to hear about wedding proposals!

isabeller am keeping everything crossed for ivf success!

Sorry for all those with bfns

Writing this on my iPhone in the loos at work so not got time to name check everyone but thought I would pop on to say hello.

Hi all of you lovely ladies!
12dpo and I couldn't resist and poas to a BFN..:(
I kind of knew as I just didn't feel it at all, no symptoms and we couldn't dtd as often as I would like too...
Another month , I am getting older and I can see dh ( being 54 this year) changing his mind kind of soon.
Sorry about the all mememe post...

Morning ladies. I'm definitely out. My period arrived this morning as I knew it woukd. A day later than last month but hey ho.

I'm going to have to see a GP, but given that we couldn't afford to go private, all I can do is get a progesterone test done. I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating, so will send dp to see his gp about a semen analysis. I suspect my eggs are knackered and few and far between. I don't want to think it may not happen for me, but I think I have to face the fact that it might not.

Morning lizard...that all sounds interesting. I had the AMH, done by the fertility clinic and then I paid for a private one (which was done by post)...the results were really poor. I must admit if I were you I think I would go along with the fertility clinic referral or go private if you can. At least you can get the tests done and have more of an idea if there are any "mechnical" problems so to speak. I had the amh and some progesterone tests as well as an internal anatomy scan and an HSG scan to make sure the fallopian tubes were clear.

Laughing at Judgy McJudge pants...I like that. hopeful being in a mixed race relationship with a man almost half my age opens me up to many people like that. I find them quite entertaining on the whole as they must have lived very small lives to not have seen that it takes allsorts to make the world turn.
It sounds like you truly believe af is on her way ..I didnt know you had a fertility reading. The week before I would have conceived last year, I was in Birmingham with my daughter. A gypsy lady gave me a sprig of heather and a crystal and told me that the miracle I was waiting for would happen and that 29th December and 10th February were significant. 28th Dec (so only a day out) was date of my first bleed....and 10th Feb, my birthday. I'm not one to take too much stock of those things but that was a little close to the bone.

Hi to skylark

Morning Ladies

15DPO - BFN and no AF! However, she is surely imminent due to the fact that my temps dipped again (still above coverline at 36.58 but seem to be on a downward pattern) but more telling I woke up covered in sweat last night which had drenched the sheets! I usually get this a night before AF starts (think it is dramatic drop in progesterone). The volume of it was noticeable though, the sheets were soaking (doesn't bode well for my menopause!) So I am convinced despite the absent AF that i am out this month. The real kicker is that DP is taking his children ski-ing at half term which now means (all things being equal) right across the time when I will ovulate, so I am out for next month already - There only two upsides as far as I can see it 1) I get to play with my new fertility monitor and 2) I am fully intending to have an extremely large glass of red wine!

So my lovely GP had this to say: my tests results are all very good and normal, so there is nothing to be deduced from them. There is another test AMH which is used to check ovarian reserve but isn't available on NHS as can give unreliable results. She did say that she could refer us to a fertility clinic for a consultation and further investigations as apparently under the NICE guidelines we are entitled to establish if there is a cause of infertility (eg. scans etc.) but we are not entitled to be treated for any cause established. How nuts is that?! A loophole if every I heard of one. However, she did say that we might wait a long time for an appointment and if money was not an issue we should privately book a one off consultation to take advice on whether there are further appropriate investigations needed. She did say given our age we might want to think about going straight to IVF especially as we are likely to respond well given that I am already ovulating OK etc. So that is it really we are having a look at what clinics are around and about and see if we can get any recommendations.

morien your symptoms sound promising - you may now be holding the BFP batton for the thread for this month!

drwhofan sorry you are feeling so anxious - it sounds really tough. Are you getting any support for that?

Everyone have great days...got to run.

xx

all, it is so good to read this thread. bear with me while i try to catch up with what is happening for everyone.

Calibee - congrats on the proposal from your dp.. how exciting!

hopeful - thank you for your encouragement. so sorry to hear about your mc. as you say im sure it can have been nothing to do with bf and brilliant that you were still bf at 17 months

miasmummy - delighted to hear about finn. i hope he brings you much joy, though of course he will never replace mia.

in case it helps with your question on c-sections/ttc, i had my daughter at 38 by planned c-section due to previous medical history. i quizzed the consultant who performed it at uclh on how many c-sections you can have and with what spacing, as i had heard you had to space. wildly over-optimistically (and not that i have managed to convince my dp of this) i thought i would love to try for 2 more dcs. anyway his advice was that you can have 3 or 4 c-sections and that it wasnt true the body couldnt sustain it/you needed to space them. his advice to me was that i didnt need to wait before ttc again.

so i would definitely get a second opinion before abiding by your doctor's advice. there are certainly other highly informed medical opinions out there. weighed agains the fact that you want to recover from the c-section is the fact that you probably want to get on with ttc given that we are all on the fab 40 thread, perhaps he didnt weigh this factor sufficiently in the cost-benefit thing.

one other idea is that some people advise that it is good to space (c-section or not) so that the mother can recover her nutritional status and go on to nourish a further pregnancy as well as possible. an organisation that i have found brilliant in this regard is Foresight/Preconception. Through them you can do hair analysis which gives a very accurate reading of nutritional status and enables you to supplement to recover more quickly, improving chances of conceiving and carrying a healthy pregnancy. so one option might be to do that to aid recovery and start ttc soon.

I hope that is some help.

Drwhofan..thankyou my lovely. Greatfully accepted x

Oh and despite evil cramps all day, no af as yet. Still lots of clear watery cm (sorry for the tmi) but I'm sure the hag is going to turn up in the morning cos of the cramps, and the fact that I feel spectacularly un pregnant...

Oh Cali honey...have a warm and fuzzy virtual hug from me. By the way, given how shit you're feeling, you are being remarkably mature and restrained on that other thread that I will not be going back to. I simply can't bear the negativity and rudeness from certain people on there. It's just horrible. No call for it at all. She's like a dog with a bone, but even my dog lets go if I say "leave"

Hi to all....notsoold hope your ok and the bruises are just bruises, nothing any worse. Sounds horrible.

sparkly I'm glad you have your appointment booked now. How many weeks along are you? I have a feeling we were a similar time...I would have bben coming up to 12 weeks now. I hope the bleeding behaves and turns out to be what diege and morien suggest. Plus if you are at a similar stage to what I would have been then your symptoms ie, sore boobies etc may well start to diminish about now.
morien I feel every ounce of your 2ww anxiousness . I hope your symptoms turn out to be for real.
jbrd..is DH away for long? It sounds like the break in routine has been just enough to throw you off kilter. I am a spur-of-the-moment, nor routine type of person.. except for mornings, when I like everything to run in its smooth and original order. Otherwise it throws out my whole day, so I can totally understand your annoyance on that one.

So I'm playing along at the "everything is totally normal" game just now. When really in my head everything still feels very far from normal. I found myself tearful at work today when Ed Sheerans Small Bump played on the radio. I felt frozen for a few minutes...unable to breath or move, whilst deeply absorbed in the lyrics. I have been hearing the song for months but today was the first time I listened to it. It sums up everything I feel.

It snowed here during the night but didn't stick, thank goodness.

sparkly, what diege said. When I called the dr having started spotting, her first question was whether we'd DTD the night before as apparently that can often cause spotting during pregnancy. Hope it's stopped? Am really glad to hear you've got a dr's appointment sorted.

notsoold thanks for giving me another reason to stay away from the hoover. Hope your bruises go down soon.

glizard what news from your visit to the doctor?

gum hope DS's second day has gone better!

drwho sorry things are so hard at the mo. I really hope you get your BFP soon.

As for me, yesterday and this morning I managed to convince myself that I was pg on the basis of my 'symptoms', but I feel completely normal now so am feeling a little foolish. I was on call yesterday and fortunately didn't get called; I spent the day crashed out on the sofa feeling very unwell in a vague, non-specific kind of way (I had one day like that before my BFP last time). Am fine again today although v tired as I couldn't sleep again because of lower back and hip pain (have only ever suffered from back pain when pregnant & then once again a few months ago) (going to see the osteopath tomorrow). On top of that, yesterday I made myself a ham and cheese toastie for lunch but couldn't eat it as the smell of the ham disgusted me - then this morning I sat down on the train and was immediately overcome by revulsion at a smell...the lady opposite me turned out to be eating a ham sandwich. When I got to work this morning, I could smell cleaning products a mile off (that happened last time).

But now I'm back to normal again! And I'm only CD27 in a cycle of about 35 days, and don't know when I ovulated so not much point testing yet?

Sparkly...nnnoooo...you have my blessings not to hoover :)

Diege, thanks for the reassurance, there doesn't seem to be any more bleeding at moment, & I don't think there's enough at this stage to bother the EPU. I'm hoping it is just sex related, but obviously I'll keep an eye on it. Glad health has returned to your house.
No snow here, but I don't think we're expecting it. It's very gloomy though. Oh damn, now I don't have time to vacuum before I pick DD up...

Snowing here too Drwhofan! I am as equally unimpressed . It doesn't seem to be sticking though - epic fail for weather forcast for here yet again!
Sparky You have been very patient and I too would be on the phone from opening time tomorow. I am assuming you don't have a walk-in epu (where does?! The bleeding sounds like a cervical erosion which is very common in pregnancy and harmless. It's very common after sex as the blood vessels in the cervix are engorged and the tissues very soft, hence the bleed. How is the spotting now? If it settles I would assume it was sex-related, but obviously you need some reassurance x

Just wanted to pop on and say...AS IF IT'S SNOWING AGAIN!!!! I'm in the East Mids and it's tipping it down! There are no words for how unimpressed I am! GRRRRR

notsoold, that fall sounds really painful, are you sure you're ok? I shall take your advice and step away from the hoover - not that I need much encouragement.

JBrd, sorry that you're feeling low, it's going take a while before you have mostly good days. I'm not a morning person either, I sympathise, and if I didn't get the childcare sorted, it just wouldn't happen and I'd be dealing with it at very short notice, so no wonder you weren't pleased this morning. Your field of work, even if not your current job, sounds amazing, I hope you find something more satisfactory soon.

Calibee, glad you survived your first day back, that was probably the best you could hope for. I'm sure you'll get used to being back, but it does take time, take it easy on yourself.

Drwho, sorry you're feeling down about ttc, and completely understand the idea of giving up is upsetting. Good luck for your next cycle.

Green, how was your doctor's appointment. I hope it was useful, and you get to see a fertility consultant soon.

Gum, sorry your DS had a hard time at kindergarten yesterday, I hope it'll get easier. Teaching reproduction to year 9 (is that 13-14ish?), that must have been bottom of wish list, I hope it's better than you expect.

I have finally made a doctors appointment, but the earliest they could pre-book me one is next Monday. This will be after 2 hours sleep coming off a night shift. I tried phoning at the allotted time this morning, only for it to be engaged on every re-dial, and I only had a couple of minutes. When I did get through after dropping DD off, the receptionist was very helpful when in desperation I told her that I'm pregnant, so she pre-booked me there and then. However (apologies for TMI), after some enthusiastic DTD last night there was a little bit of dark brown blood when I wiped, and CM is again very faintly tinged today, also I don't think my boobs are as sore. I'm trying to remain optimistic, and definitely going to the doctor's tomorrow, however long I have to spend re-dialling.

love to everyone. xx

Hi greenlizard you wanted some information about IVF.

I am doing it partly because of age and partly consequences of a cancer scare. I have taken a relatively expensive path (not sure how wise given my financial circumstances). We are going to a UK clinic recommended by friends of DP who were treated there. I need donor eggs and this took me a while to get my head around but the chance of successful treatment is much higher than anyone in their 40s being treated with their own eggs (unless frozen when younger).

The egg sharing programme means me paying for the donor's IVF and her sharing her eggs. I am thinking of my donor and hoping she is ok and I think the clinic will be able to tell me if her treatment succeeds. She has no fertility problems but her husband does.

If there's anything you want to ask I'd be happy to try and answer

Waves to everyone, am trying not to go mad

Oh, and notsoold - ouchy-ouch!!! I think the lesson from that is, don't hoover Hope you heal quickly, take care of yourself.

Morning everyone
Just a quick check-in, I'm supposed to be working Ah well.
drwho, gum Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time at the moment - hope things pick up for you soon!
cali take it easy at work, I promise it does get easier! I found the first few days the hardest, getting back into the 'normal' mindset and leaving that bubble that I had been living in for the last weeks. Hope your colleague realises what a b* she is, though!
green Hope that you and your DH will get some some useful information and reassurance about what route to take next - I can imagine that it must be difficult to decide wether to go for IVF, both financially and emotionally!

Not much to report from my side... I would quite like to know where I am in my cycle, but it's not bugging me too much (yet). No signs of af or ovulation, but plenty of ewcm on and off, so I think we're heading in the right direction.
Struggling a bit emotionally, if I'm honest - feeling generally really low, which isn't helped by stressing over jobs. And now DH is gone to Germany for a couple of days for work - which I knew about, but not that he had to leave earlier than usual this morning because he had to go to London for a meeting as well! Which means I have to do the drop-off of DS at the childminders. Now generally that's not a problem, but he forgot to tell me and sprung it on me this morning on short notice, which I hate (I am not a morning person). This keeps happening, and makes me very grumpy I keep telling him he needs to let me know, so that I can plan around it.
So I went up in a huff and had a go at him, feeling all victimised and 'all I do is sorting out childcare arrangements around here'-like Not great, especially since it really isn't a big deal. But you know how small things get blown out of proportion when you're in a bad mood, sigh...