Page 14 | Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

hopefulgum · 2013-01-01T23:20:41+00:00

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...[smile] This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

remnant · 07/02/2013 16:25

Let me add my congrats too sparkly x

Zeuxippe · 07/02/2013 15:45

Congratulations sparkly!! Really glad the scan went well!

isadorable · 07/02/2013 15:36

Wonderful news Sparkly! Waves and hellos to everyone else...

Morien · 07/02/2013 14:50

Great news sparkly, I'm really pleased the scan went well.

[Turns attention back to work]

CaliBee · 07/02/2013 13:44

Wonderful news sparkly...I'm chuffed to bits for you xxx
I'm just running in very quickly with this interesting article I found on ageing eggs and poor ovarian reserve. It seems to answer a lot of the questions I had in my mind.
www.womens-health.co.uk/egg_age.html
I will catch up laters after work.

sparklysapphire · 07/02/2013 12:28

Newpatches, good to hear from you. How exciting to be moving in with your DP, hope it all goes smoothly.
Gum, I'm very pleased you won't be leaving us to do less more useful things .
Irish, it must be so hard having 3 due dates to contend with in fairly quick succession. Lighting candles is a lovely way to remember all your (and everyone else's) babies, I hope it helped you find some peace.

Well, I've just got back from the EPU. I'm astonished and delighted to say that my baby looks absolutely fine, and is the right size, they saw the heartbeat and lots of movement!!! I guess I've just been extremely lucky not to have any real symptoms to speak of. There's still the screening to get through of course, and how DH and I are going to proceed, I don't know. I phoned him when I got back, obviously he's not delighted, but there must be a way through.
Thank you again for all your kind thoughts, you are a lovely bunch of ladies, your support has meant a lot to me.

Diege · 07/02/2013 12:08

Fingers crossed for today sparkly, thinking of you x
Gum I also sit down with a cuppa (early morning after getting ds2's bottle) and have a read through MN. Have become almost a ruitual now that I don't think I'll ever give up. I wouldn't read too much into your acupuncturist's comments and, as you say, you are still ovulating and I'm convinced in your case that it's simply about wating for that good egg x
Exciting news about dp moving in newpatches

NewPatchesForOld · 07/02/2013 11:54

Hello ladies, I apologise for not being on here regularly. I am trying to focus on other things and not obsess, but I have been reading.

Well, I am 11DPO and due on on Sunday. TBH I haven't really done it by the book this time, I have no real idea of when I ovulated, and didn't check to see if I was fertile anytime we dtd. Strangely last month I was convinced I was pg as I had so many symptoms, but this month I have none at all...not even PMS ones. I have no sore boobs, no headaches, nothing. Usually a week prior to AF I can't even hug my DC die to the pain in my boobs. Maybe I am hurtling towards menopause and everything is stopping. well, if so at least the decision will have been taken out of my hands about whether to keep trying or not!

DP and I have decided to move in together! probably at the end of this month. Exciting scary times ahead!

Hope you are all well

x

Original poster

hopefulgum · 07/02/2013 10:43

Oh Irish, I am sorry about the due date. It is hard isn't it? Thank you so much for lighting a candle for our lost little ones.

I keep hoping that somehow, our babies will find us, but (for myself) I am feeling less hopeful. I haven't given up at all, but I came away from acupuncture feeling that it might be time to let go. I think my acupuncturist intimated as much, when she used to be quite positive. We were talking about my little boy reaching another milestone and I told her it is hard to see him go to school, wondering if it is the last time I'll do it. She said something along the lines that it may be that it is time to accept that he will always be my youngest. I don't know, she didn't actually say it, it was more "suggested".

Of course she is just my TCM practioner,she doesn't have a crystal ball, and she still says my energy is good and regular periods are a good sign of ovulation. Apparently I have some liver stagnation, so I need to look into how I can deal with that with herbs and food. I have a great book by Randine Lewis called "The Infertility Cure" which explains how to treat traditional Chinese Medicine diagnosis. I have read that book so many times, but have yet have my miracle baby since reading it.

Perhaps it is time to try the alternative view: take up smoking,drinking, eating shit fast food, giving up vegetables, all things organic and shock my body into falling pregnant it seems treating my body like a friggin temple hasn't done the job

Having said that, I am a week into my second "whole 30", which is a way of eating that is extremely healthy and works as a "detox" pof sorts. I did it last year, stuck it out for 30 days and lost about 6 -8 pounds (can't remember now). Anyway, I felt very good on it. I did pick up some more red clover isoflavones (natures clomid) today,and will take them as I did the month before last,as I think they helped with EWCM and a heavier period (mine are quite light).

Don't worry Sparkly, though I know I should be doing something more useful (the housework, exercise,laundry,phoning my toxic mother...)I would much rather connect with others on mumsnet, and have a giggle at some of the threads, and get cross at some posters and put in my 2 cents worth There's no holding me back.

I do hope your scan goes well

OP posts:

Irishmammybread · 06/02/2013 23:48

crossed post Sparkly ,I can see why you want to go to the hospital on your own if you think your DH might react badly,it's hard on you though. Is there anyone else who could go with you? I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, hope it's good news x

Irishmammybread · 06/02/2013 23:44

Sorry AF arrived Gum Drwho and Green .
Sounds like you're having a busy week Gum ,glad to hear DS is now settling at kindy, it's such a big step but sometimes worse for the mums than the kids I think! How old were those kids in your class? Can't believe the questions they were asking, they grow up so fast,it's scary.
CaliBee it doesn't sound like you're getting any support at work but it's not long now till weekend and seeing your DP. That Ed Sheeran small bump song was released around the time I had my first miscarriage last year and still reduces me to tears every time I hear it.I think it's amazing he could write it with such insight, I heard he wrote it for a friend who had just lost her baby.Don't look up the video on YouTube unless you're feeling very strong,it's so sad.
JBrd it must be tough for you with DH away and having to cope with everything at home. I hope you can resolve the work situation, it might make life a bit easier.
Sparkly hope your scan goes well tomorrow. I spotted blood twice with DD2 but she was fine and measured small for dates requiring extra scans with all three of my DC but they were all born healthy weights. It's nice that your DH offered to come to the EPU with you and is showing you support.
notsoold I hope you're recovering from your fall,it's sounds like it could have been serious!
Morien my DH doesn't want to talk or think about ttc, he obviously knows we're not using contraception and he does want another child but he doesn't want to think about the mechanics or over analyze things, he thinks it will spoil the romance and spontanaeity! Not that it's easy to be very spontaneous with DD2 waking up early in the morning ,teenagers up and awake late at night and juggling work etc as well. We managed to dtd on cd13,14 and 15 over the weekend but ovulation was delayed till cd16 I think,hopefully it means I'm still in with a chance and am now in the 2ww.
Yesterday was the due date for the baby from my second miscarriage which was hard to get through. Nobody remembered, not that I expected them to really, with three losses in fairly quick succession the dates are all a bit blurred, though there are indelibly etched on my mind and heart. DH is still struggling with the loss of his Dad ,feeling responsible for his Mum and the stress of a new job so I really didn't want to remind him and bring it all up again. I went to Mass and lit a candle for each of my three babies and another for all our lost little ones who never made it to "the snug" but we'll never forget.
Hello to everyone else I've not name checked, I need to empty the washing machine and do some ironing before bed!

sparklysapphire · 06/02/2013 23:43

Gum, no don't give up mumsnetting, we would miss you lots! I'm sorry that writing of your lost LO made you cry, but we don't forget them even though they didn't make it. Enjoy your acupuncture, I hope it helps you chill out a bit, and the stresses of juggling everything recede a bit soon.

at your DP morien, nice to know he's concerned about you being warm enough, but it just shows how differently men's minds and ours work sometimes - ok almost all the time.

Thank you everyone for you kind wishes, much appreciated. I'm not optimistic. I'm not going to take DH with me, one of us will be disappointed, whichever way it goes so I'd just rather do it on my own, particularly as everytime we went near the hospital last time DH reacted really badly. I've said all along that I don't have a good feeling about this pregnancy, but I so want to be wrong. I was going to have a good long chat to my friend tonight but she wasn't feeling well so hoping to catch up tomorrow. I got very upset after I'd put DD to bed. I know there's no point in getting upset until I know what's happening. I'll let you know.

xxx

Original poster

hopefulgum · 06/02/2013 23:00

Hello ladies. So sorry AF got us in all (Green and Drwho). I definitely have it now. Which is fine, I just want to move on.

I've been so blimmin tired from work, I do hope I get some energy soon, if I have to start the shag-wagon again.

Big Hugs to all you ladies who have recently had a miscarriage. It is early days, and it isn't easy. I was always quite surprised how easily I could be set off (to tears), especially with unexpected things that I wouldn't have thought would affect me.

Jbrd, seeing/hearing of other's pregnancies is just so hard isn't it?

For me, I really struggled to see my close friend (and near neighbour) who was heavily pregnant when I miscarried. I kept thinking about how our babies would have been 6 months apart and playmates. In fact I don't think I saw her until after her little boy was born. When he was a couple of weeks old my DH insisted we visit. We did, and it was okay, but I couldn't hold him, and it was bloody torture knowing my baby was no longer inside me growing. I'm crying as I type this, and it was actually two years ago. I see her a lot now, her little girl and my son play together, and I see her little boy often,and I'm fine. I try not to think about how my own little boy would have been 6 months behind him. In reality, my DS would never have made it as he had trisomy 13, which isn't compatible with life.

I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset anyone. Just know that you have my empathy and I am sending love out to all of you feeling the loss of a little one/s.

Sparkly, I am really pleased to hear that you are having a scan. I do hope it will put your mind at ease.Please let us know how you get on.

Morien, your DP sounds lovely, and I don't think any relationship has to be the ideal from someone else's head. I have always been a firm believer that ttc and pregnancy etc really is women's business, and it is nice to have an involved partner, but I do think the majority of men can't really understand the intricacies of it all. I love my doctor and my acupuncturist as they both hold a similar view.

I have acupuncture this afternoon after work, and I feel I need it, to help me relax. This week has been quite stressful, what with juggling half days of kindy, full days of work, daycare, DD's needing school stuff, new uniforms etc, and getting my head around being in the classroom again. I know everything will normalise soon, but for the moment I feel a little overwhelmed. I need to get an exercise routine going, but I've done nothing since starting work again, cos I don't know where the heck I can fit it in. I suppose I could give up my half hour with cup of tea in hand on mumsnet when I first get up, but I don't think I could start my day any other way!

I love catching up with you all, you are such a lovely supportive group.

OP posts:

Morien · 06/02/2013 21:47

Ah, good point, greenlizard, hadn't thought of that (I was so far from having thought of that that I started this message to ask you what FMU was then realised!) (And yes, re my DP I did think when he said it that it meant much more to me that he was worried I might be cold, rather than have him fussing about when I'm going to test (and whether it should be FMU )

Really sorry AF has got you, glizard - I thought it was sounding so promising. Can't help with your fertility monitor questions, I'm afraid, but I'm sure someone more clued up will be along before long. I admire the way you keep on taking extra steps with every month that goes by (I just keep on crossing my fingers and shagging like mad...not that I'm complaining ), and I wish you all the best for your visit to the fertility clinic. Maybe your DP just needs a wee bit more time - it sounds like he's very much on the same page as you in general on this and that's great. I know what you mean about wanting to be a mum and the ache inside I keep meaning to ask - how old are your SCs?

JBrd · 06/02/2013 21:40

Evening, ladies, just a quick check-in, apologies for not name-checking! But I'm sooo tired, I think I'll put the bins out and then head straight for bed.
Feeling still quite low, going in circles about my job situation - really need to do something, but am just so worn out most evenings. I had planned to work on my CV tonight, but by the time I had DS sorted with dinner, bath and bed, washed my hair, tidied up etc., my energy levels had plummeted, and now I think I'll just turn in. It's hard work when DH isn't here!
Also struggling with the fact that two more of my acquaintances are pregnant... Not close friends, mainly Facebook contacts, but it still made my heart ache when I read their happy news. I find I don't mind interacting with friends that already were pg when I had the mc, it's the new ones that are tough.

Sorry for the mememe post, I blame the tiredness!

CaliBee · 06/02/2013 21:35

lizard ...another af...wow its common thing just now. Yes tomorrow on CBFM will be day 1 make sure you set it up right in the middle of the times you are likely to test. . I'm glad you and DP have decided to take the step of going to fertility clinic. At least you will have some more ideas of what is available to you.
morien thanks for asking about work. Its ok on the whole. I just seem to be so very sensitive now. There was a really acutely ill lady in the clinical room as I checked her medication today and she was sobbing about a baby she had 20 years ago and had adopted. I had to hide my face as tears were rolling down my face. Thats not like me...especially at work
skylark I hope so too...

greenlizard · 06/02/2013 21:31

morien did you do a test this early without using FMU? Tsk, Tsk!

I understand what you are saying about your DP....there isn't a formula for a great relationship and good for you for knowing what works for you both and not for other people (but I am very impressed he was thinking about you being cold whilst he was out - how sweet is that?)

Good luck - I really hope that both you and isabeller get your bfp's.

xx

greenlizard · 06/02/2013 21:24

Evening all

Firstly sparkly I have everything crossed for you for tomorrow. I am glad that your DH offered to go with you as well but wanted to wish you good luck.

Secondly, sodding AF got me too (hopeful & Drwhofan we are officially aligned cycle buddies now!) So a shiny new cycle for us all......(it really is rubbish isn't it this TTC lark - grrrrr)

Drwhofan I do think that seeing a Dr would be a good idea. I had a CD3 FSH (follicular stimulating hormone) test and a CD21 (or 7 day post ovulation). It will give you an idea of how the basics are for you and that can never be a bad thing.

hopeful I was really hopeful for this month, especially as I had a clear temp dip along with blood streaked CM on 9DPO and then my temperatures shot back up again....but hey, ho back to the drawing board. I had my palm read at the fair years ago and the gypsy lady told me that I would have 4 children but not with my ex (he was loitering outside). So even if I count my acquired 2 SC, that means in I am line for another two - twins it is then !

I will now be unwrapping and firing up my newly acquired CB Fertility Monitor, if I can wrestle it off DP (he does love a gadget!). Given I started AF this afternoon about 17:00 and I haven't yet started full flow (but way more than spotting) - do I set today as Day 1 or tomorrow?

DP and I are going to go for a private consultation at a fertility clinic to discuss next steps and do any tests that they think might be useful. I think I am ready to go straight to IVF, if that is needed but I know that my DP is not there yet. We have also talked about adopting if things don't work out for us...I really, really want to be a Mum and it makes me ache inside that it isn't happening (yet).

xx

Morien · 06/02/2013 21:04

All the best for your scan tomorrow, sparkly. Will be thinking of you.

zeuxippe, it does get easier, but it takes a while... calibee, has work improved since the first day back?

Isabeller glad things are going well so far. I love the way you say 'only' 8 1/2 days to go - I hope it whizzes by for you.

I gave in and POAS (I wasn't planning to but came to a stop in the supermarket right in front of the tests) - BFN. I think it's too soon anyway, but in any case I'm not so aware of my 'symptoms' any more so I think they might have been in my head. Maybe if I'm honest it's because the due date from my MC is in 2 weeks and I really want to be pregnant when it comes around...

Went to see my lovely osteopath today for my back. She doesn't just treat the physical side, she probes into the emotional side too, so inevitably we ended up talking TTC. She was asking about DP's commitment to us having a baby and his involvement in TTC, and I said that, having accepted that that's what we're doing, he's happy to leave it all to me and we don't talk about it very often. She was a bit and said that perhaps we should talk more, in case I feel like I'm trying to have a baby on my own. I was still thinking about what she said when I got back from the supermarket, and DP came to help unpack the shopping, inc. the pg test, which I'd probably have spirited away without him seeing - but the osteopath's words made me act differently, so I got it out of the bag and said, 'and I bought a pg test too'. He just nodded and carried on putting the shopping away so I persevered, 'so that I can do a pregnancy test'....and he said, 'well, I really hope that...' - here I assume he's going to say 'it's positive', obv, but what he actually says is - 'the plumber sorted out the heating this time so you'll be warm this evening while I'm out at tennis'!!! I was taken aback for a second at the gulf between what the osteopath thinks is desirable and what I've actually got - but only for a second, because then I looked at him still putting the shopping away, oblivious, and I thought, 'I wouldn't have you any other way - thank goodness you do just let me get own with it'.

skylark101 · 06/02/2013 20:14

Sparkly - wishing that all goes ok for you tomorrow.

Zeuxippe - so sorry to hear about your mc ;-(

Calibee - hope you are ok and that the gypsy lady is right!

Zeuxippe · 06/02/2013 19:30

Thanks notsoold for your kind comments

CaliBee · 06/02/2013 17:51

gum how are you doing...has af arrived properly yet??
I didnt know you could get readings online...

Hopefully DP home this weekend....its my birthday. I think after that it may be a few weeks until he gets back. It costs so much on the train even with forces railcard.

CaliBee · 06/02/2013 17:41

Ahhh so sorry for all the BFN's and grotty AF's turning up....keep hope my lovely ladies.
sparkly lots and lots of good thoughts for your scan tomorrow...I will be thinking of you.
hopeful I certainly hope you will be turning on that monitor tomorrow. I may even give mine a whirl if/when my af turns up in a few weeks.
isabeller yes that poster on the other thread was vile and sadly very narrow minded. I'm afraid I hate bullies with such a vengeance that I just had to keep my nose in there. So much for support threads eh?? What are you studying through OU??
Waves to all....be back laters

Isabeller · 06/02/2013 16:38

Hello everyone, I'm grabbing a half hour rest before DPs Mum gets back from her day centre. This thread feels like home and I so appreciate everyone's kind support. OTD is 15th so only 8 1/2 days to go.

So far I've had no sign of AF and no symptoms that fall outside side effects of medication/wind or having a cold. No lemsip allowed .

I'm having trouble concentrating but finally posted my OU assignment and today went to visit my cousin & her 6 week old baby!

BTW the wind thread had me in stitches, much needed after the McPants comments.

I heard the OP of that thread got very upset about the personal attacks, such a pity.

Love to everyone x Is

notsoold · 06/02/2013 15:39

Sparkly..fx for tomorrow and I how that everything will go well...xxxx

Zeuspipe....it is very difficult to go through loss and the loss of a Little One is a hard thing indeed... ( offering unsmumnsnety hug)...you are coping the best you can in the circumstances given...xxxx