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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

992 replies

hopefulgum · 01/01/2013 23:20

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...Smile

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

OP posts:
JBrd · 16/02/2013 16:31

isabeller Sorry about your BFN, I hope that your trip will allow you to get some distance from it all. It's all such a roller coaster... Fingers crossed for the frozen ones!

I am spotting today Hmm... Not sure what to make of it! At first, I thought AF had arrived (DH thought I'd gone mad when I started whooping and cheering in the loo - it's not really what I normally do when af arrives), but it really is just some very light spotting now. Will have to wait & see what happens. Again. Sometimes it seems to me that's all I'm doing these days.

Diege · 16/02/2013 12:20

Just back online today after laptop broke pm Monday. Currently on the petrol powered one with no letters on the keyboard..if I don't think about it too much I can type ok Grin
I'm so sorry about your news Isabeller. I had been thinking about you and wondering how you were managing in what must have been a tortuous wait. Fingers crossed now for then little frosties, and that you can relax a little on your break xx
remnant so sorry for your news too Sad You must be feeling extremely upset, especially having to deal with dh too. How is he feeling if that isn't too sensitive a question?
On a happier note, many congrats notsoold Grin. Do you have a due date?
Hope you're dealing with heat gum Envy I do enjoy reading about your life in Oz. Didn't envy you the sex ed classes Grin
Sparkly words fail me about your dh - you are doing so well to even live in the house with him having that sort of attitude. Congrats on scan - very good screening results xxx
Well af is late here - just a day or two,so feeling a bit Confused. Temps still high too... Not sure how I feel tbh!

sparklysapphire · 16/02/2013 11:28

Isabeller, I'm sorry about your BFN, you must be very disappointed. I hope you can try again soon with a frozen embryo.

Morien · 16/02/2013 03:45

Isabeller I'm so sorry to hear that. Better luck with the frozen ones. Hope you still enjoy your trip though.

sparkly great news about your scan! I'm pleased for you.

irish enjoy your trip to Belgium! Good timing, it's just got much milder over the last day or so.

CaliBee... Grin

Thanks, [notsoold], for telling us about your DD's close relationship with your DH. And thanks to [greenlizard] for saying you feel the same re DSCs and possible (I mean definite) future DCs. It's reassuring.

Hello to everyone else.
Have a lovely weekend everyone!

notsoold · 16/02/2013 00:21

Isabeller I am so sorry for you and Mr Isabeller....xxx

Green thank you!!!

Irish....have a lovely time in Belgium!!!

Hopeful....I never had much of a ms so I should be able to fob him off...harder will be if boobs grows as mucj as on past pregnancies... I end up looking enormous....

Calibee you are too busy to read this thread right??? ;)

Sparkly have a good weekend too!!

Thinking of you all xxxx

Irishmammybread · 15/02/2013 23:19

Can't do a proper post as I still haven't finished packing and we're off to Belgium tomorrow morning..I feel very disorganized!
I wanted to say I'm so sorry Isabeller but fingers crossed your cycle with your frozen embryos will be successful. x
We wont have any internet access while we're away so I'll catch up next week.
Love to all

hopefulgum · 15/02/2013 22:34

P.S. my CBFM Is still reading low...

OP posts:
hopefulgum · 15/02/2013 22:33

Isabeller, I am sorry it didn't workout this time, I am glad you have some frozen embies waiting for you.Bear I hope you can still enjoy your break away.

Sparkly, I am so pleased at your NT scan result. That really is to be Thanks celebrated Thanks.

greelizard, I really am not sure about the early ovulation, though I did read something recently that suggested that if you Luteal Phase lengthens, then it can effect the time til ovulating in the next cycle. I was reading it over on Fertility Friend. I'll see if I can find it. It was speculation, but it made sense.It was in relation to taking progesterone, but it may be significant. Here's the link if you are interested.
You might also want to look at this thread which has some interesting info.

I am pretty sure in my case I am ovulating earlier consistently because I am getting closer to menopause, but I am 46, so it's no surprise. It is good to read,though, that many women get pregnant with early ovulation with THB.

Calibee, sounds like you are gonna be loved up all weekend. lucky you!Grin

Morien, you sound like a wonderful SM and will be a wonderful mummy to your own baby.

notsoold, when will morning sickness start for you? For me, that would be the thing that twigs my DH. He knows my pattern with ms after 7 pregnancies, so I don't know how long I'd be able to keep it from him, but I will try if I ever get lucky again.

Must dash, LO is calling me. Have a lovely day/night!

OP posts:
hopefulgum · 15/02/2013 22:06

Morning all, Isabeller asked me to pass this on:

"I'd be really grateful if you'd put our negative pregnancy test result on the thread. It is disappointing of course but we're both very grateful we had this chance and hope to have a frozen cycle once we've been to the clinic for a review.

There's no internet and only a very poor phone signal here but it is idyllic and the weather is lovely. We both, quite independently started counting our blessings.

Much love to everyone on the thread, lurkers included. Wishing success to everyone xxxx Is"

OP posts:
greenlizard · 15/02/2013 19:12

Congratulations notsoold that is brilliant news! Yay for a 40's bfp. Fingers and toes crossed you have a very relaxed and boring pregnancy!

remnant I am so,so sorry to hear your news - you must be devastated. I hope you are ok and despite the difference in opinion over the pregnancy that you DH is taking care of you now.

sparkly words fail me when I read your post - I can't seem to get my head round your situation at all. I am so sorry it is difficult - every time I try and think of something to write to you, it sounds all worried, cross and judgemental - which is not how I feel (except the worry bit) so I have given up trying. Suffice to say I am truly sorry for your situation, I hope it gets better, I hope you get some support from your friend and I hope you put can yourself, your DD and your little bean first even just for a little while.

morien you sound like a brilliant stepmum (and obviously mum-to-be)! I know exactly what you mean that it's all very well getting on great with SC but we want one of our one too! I am glad it isn't just me that feels this way so thanks for sharing! Thanks ps. I hate the DM too but a positive over 40 TTC article is to be shared regardless of dodgy provenance! I will console myself with the fact I didn't actually buy it.....

jbrd Hope you get to put your feet up this weekend and rest - you must be worn out - physically and emotionally. Sending good health best wishes your way..

calibee you most certainly sound like you are planning to SWI! Just not the conception type of intent Grin - excellent work! Enjoy.....

So would appreciate you advice - should I be worried about my wildly varying O'tion dates? Since I have been TTC I have ovulated cd16, cd14, cd13, cd10, cd16 and here i am on cd9 and i have just got a +ve opk and all the signs I am about to ovulate in the next couple of days Confused. This is not a bit weird?

This month I am glad that i appear to be about to ovulate early because DP is off skiing on Sunday so assumed I was going to miss the action but this way I might just catch it Grin DTD yesterday and today so far and can squeeze tomorrow and Sunday in before their flights....Started using my CBFM this month and started testing on CD6 and it went straight to high and has stayed there...now I know why! Will be interested if I get a Peak day tomorrow as I have clearly started surging this afternoon.

xx

notsoold · 15/02/2013 18:43

Calibee...you go girl!!!! ;)

CaliBee · 15/02/2013 18:20

Much much love to all.....
I just had marvellous news...DP couldnt stay away, hes nearly home Grin

I'm in the naughtiest of moods...no SWI here just pure filthy shagging on my mind. [shosk]

Oooops I'm so so sorry ladies. I have no idea what has come over me.
Have a great weekend all xx

notsoold · 15/02/2013 14:54

I love this list where we are safe to say things....I am really thankful that this thread exists!

Jbird....poor you!!! It is incredible how nothing hold children from bouncing about....take care! Xxx

Morien I loved reading about your experiences with dscs... My dd is not dh's biological daughter. His input over her life was so important that nothings comes between them

Gum I knew you would get it!!!

But ladies I have a plan!!! I told Mother ....it means I can talk all I want as we speak in Portuguese if nobody is about. Also part of me want to avoid this cloud of loss over this situation and is very important in my culture to share and celebrate. So I did that with my dm and I hope to be able to not say until everything is safe....easier said them done!!!! My dm and I have a bet if dh notices anything like ms or weight gain... I wouldn't count on it ...

Sparkly I don't get numbers but it seems really good result??? Thinking of you and Remnant.. Xxx

Lovely Friday to you all

sparklysapphire · 15/02/2013 12:12

Thanks for your support everyone. Just a quick post as I'm on my phone to say from the scan alone,Down's risk is about 1 in 400 (or looking at other markers NHS don't use for calculation, 1 in 650).Bloods should be back middle of next week, earlier if they aren't good,but Fx they will be. I don't think DH'll take this well. Gum, you're right it's not a normal way to react, & I may well have counselling if things don't improve.
Enjoy the weekend if you can everyone.

Morien · 15/02/2013 10:39

notsoold what fabulous news! Congratulations! (I'm with jbrd though - there's no way I'd be able to keep it from my DP; you must be more discreet than I am!) I'm so happy for you - here's hoping it'll be an uneventful pregnancy with a perfect little baby at the end of it (it's clearly quite resilient as it's already survived falling down the stairs - I think that's a good sign Grin)

remnant I'm so, so sorry about what's happened. First to have to endure the problems with your DH and now an mmc. Life can seem so cruel sometimes. As others have said, we're here if you need us. Take good care of yourself.

sparkly what can I say? I want to give your DH a good shake, frankly. Of course nobody understands him - that's because he's being so unreasonable! Was it gum suggested you have some counselling for your own sanity, independently of him? I agree - you need to look after yourself and DD. I have to say I feel very sorry for your DH because he must be so miserable and mixed-up - but you have to come first at the moment. What I would find really difficult in your shoes, I think, is the uncertainty - is he going to go? stay? stay and carry on like this? stay and change his behaviour? I feel for you.

jbrd it's just one thing after another! Hope you manage to have a nice relaxing weekend and that you'll feel better by Monday (and you DS will be gunk-free!)

As for me, still no sign of AF (CD37). I used to have quite erratic cycles when I was younger but for years now they've been fairly stable in length (albeit not entirely regular) at about 33 days. So I don't know what's going on but I'm sure I'm not pg so I'd just like to get on with it.

gum I read your post from the other day about having a sudden blue day when everything hit you again, and I was thinking how I hadn't had one for a while but that you never know when one will come...and then I had one on Wednesday. Triggered by the bfn, I guess, and with my due date coming up on the 18th. Also, my DSCs came back that day and I'd offered to take the youngest (2.5) swimming in the afternoon. In the morning I got really upset about how, whilst I'm happy to take DSD, I'd like to be able to take my own DC one day. Given the state I was in I was dreading the afternoon but DSD enjoyed herself so much that I had a lovely time too (it was her first time in a swimming pool - I generally hold back and let their DM do 'firsts' with them, but there are things their DM's never going to do). DSD's enjoyment really pulled me out of my black mood - and then when we got home her brother and sister were clamouring to be the next one to get to go swimming with Morien. I know I'm 'only' 40 and that there's still a good chance I'll have my own DC; in the meanwhile I'm going to try to focus on how lucky I am to play such a big part in my DSCs' lives - I used to see it that way, but recently I've got a bit bogged down in 'but I want one of my own'.

JBrd · 15/02/2013 09:49

Wow, there are news from every end of the spectrum here at the moment, the really happy and the devastatingly sad.

notsoold! Congratulations! That is wonderful wonderful news! So happy for you! I would not be able to keep this from my DH, how will you keep the secret?!?

remnant I'm so so sorry that it turned out like this - in spite of the issues you were having with your DH, this is still heartbreaking and a blow. Be kind to yourself, we're here if you need us.

sparkly I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling at the moment, it must be soul-destroying. Your DH clearly needs help with his issues, why must he be so stubborn?!? I'm a bit of a control freak, too, but this is clearly on a different level. Not sure what I can say to help or comfort, this is such a deadlock.

CaliBee Even if you don't end up somewhere warm and exotic, you should book a get-away with your DP!

DoctorWho Hope that you start feeling better soon!

Well, I'm still battling various illnesses, stinking cold with the sinusitis from hell, and DS also has a bad cold and what I suspect is conjunctivitis, sigh. It just never ends, does it? But unlike me, DS is bouncing around and completely oblivious to all the gunk that is coming out of his nose and eyes. Wish I could be like that!

hopefulgum · 14/02/2013 22:56

So much going on when I sleepShock

Firstly, Thanks congratulations Thanks to notsoold. This is wonderful and exciting news. I hope it all goes smoothly from here. Like you, if I ever get a BFP again, I won't be telling DH til I feel I am in the "safe zone".

Remnant, how devastating for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand what a blow this is, because it is so final too, with a reluctant partner. I hope he will still be able to give you comfort. Come and talk with us if it helps.

Sparkly, I am sorry to hear that things aren't improving. It is such a difficult situation to be in. With your last pregnancy, did he improve once the baby was born? Would you feel better if he weren't living with you during the pregnancy? I know you would prefer he did live with you,but in a different way, but it seems he isn't improving in his attitude and this negativity cannot be good for you or your DD. I can't believe he won't get some counseling. Clearly, it is not normal to react this way. Yes, he may feel resentful, but all the same, most men would eventually accept and move on. You say he has control issues - that in itself could be helped by talking to a professional. I am sure that a psychologist would know how to deal with this. In your shoes I think I would get some counseling for myself, to maintain my own sanity throughout the pregnancy.

I hope the scan goes well. Please come and tell us all about it.

Well, the roast dinner was delicious, and I managed to stay awake Shock so I managed SWI Grin though I wouldn't really call it SWI when I am only on day 10 today and the monitor says 'low". But I had a look at my last 4 charts and it seems I am ovulating earlier in my old age, around day 12 or 13 (it used to be 14,15,16), so I may get a peak soon. I hope that ovulating earlier doesn't mean that the egg doesn't have enough time to "ripen". I noticed that my last three pregnancies which all ended in mc, that I ovulated on day 13,16, 16. With my DS's pregnancy it was day 15. Anyway, getting pregnant at this age will be a total miracle, so I should stop analysing it all. I've done what I can, so I'll just keep shagging with my fingers crossed for a happy outcome.

Have a lovely day/night Smile

OP posts:
notsoold · 14/02/2013 21:06

Sparkly....I am so sorry how this whole situation is for you. As a wife of a person that struggled with depression in the past I hold your hand and hope you find a way to sort the situation ( if possible?)...xxxx

Our valentines dinner ( from m&s because I will not be cooking tonight) was lovely, albeit with lpts of extras because ds was dining with us!!! He even had my desert....

Remnant... I am so sorry for you! It isso ddifficult to lose another part of our heart in a mc...thinking of you...xxx

Irish...I am not telling anybody in RL...not even DH.
After my mmc and cp my dh suffered so badly... So I vow to try to be quiet if I ever got pregnant again until I knpw everything is well...
So I am sharing with you gals!!!!

sparklysapphire · 14/02/2013 18:52

Remnant, I just posted on the other thread, but wanted to say again how sorry I am.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to post much over the next few days - off to MILs and can only MN when DH not around, but will be reading on my phone, and will update about tomorrow's scan when I can.

xx

CaliBee · 14/02/2013 18:48

COngrats to notsosold
So sorry remnant you must feel totally shite. Sad
We're all here for you xx

Irishmammybread · 14/02/2013 18:44

Remnant I'm so sorry to hear about your mmc. Even though the situation was problematic with your DH ,it's still such a loss for you and it's only natural to grieve. Thinking about you xxxxx

Irishmammybread · 14/02/2013 18:40

Congratulations notsoold ! Wow, what good news,you must be delighted,a lovely Valentine's Day present for you and your DH!

remnant · 14/02/2013 18:35

Congratulations notsoold x Glad to see another bfp here.

I've just got back from another scan and it appears this pregnancy has become a MMC.
Obviously this solves a few problems, for DH especially, but that doesn't really make it any less sad. This will be the end for me and ttc'ing too. I expect to be feeling sorry for myself for a while.

DoctorWhoFan · 14/02/2013 16:35

Hi ladies, just wanted to pop in and say hello and sorry I've been so quiet, but I'm more batshit than Mrs Batshit from Batshitsville right now, so concentration has gone the way of the dodo, however, I did see that congrats are due to notsoold! Sparkly, you poor thing, it just seems to get worse for you. Has anyone heard from Remnant?

Sorry not to namecheck anyone else, but when I'm conscious, I do think of you all

Xx

sparklysapphire · 14/02/2013 14:04

Congratulations notsoold Thanks!! Fx that this is a sticky one.

Isabeller, thinking of you, you must be really keen to test, but I bet it feels like a really long day til you can test tomorrow. I hope you're managing to relax a bit.

JBrd, I hope you're feeling better today, the cold/sinuses sounds miserable. You seem to have had a really bad run since your m/c, hopefully once you shift this one, you're health'll start to improve. Have you been to Center Parcs before btw? I think it's great, a really nice getaway, we've been a couple of times with DD, about this time of year, so it was relatively cheap. We'll probably never be able to afford it again, given how expensive it is in the school hols.

Gum, your Valentine's meal sounds lovely (even though I don't eat meat), I hope it did the trick and you managed to stay awake and DTD!

Greenl, thanks for the DM link, though I was astonished to read a positive story about women doing anything from that paper. I can stand it, but my MIL will insist on bringing it into our house, and occasionally I even have to buy it for her if I've gone shopping - yuk.

Calibee, I hope you can get your holiday booked soon, I'm sure it'll be great for you and DP.

Morien, any sign of AF yet?

DH finally decided to talk last night but it was really hard, we both cried. He still doesn't want to have the baby, as far as he's concerned, the best case would be an m/c. He didn't think I'd get pregnant (to be fair, neither did I). He says he wants his life back, and admits he's being selfish, but as far as I can see, it's more than that, and I think it's partly because it's something he has absolutely no control over. He's a bit of a control freak, which I can usually deal with. He feels even worse than when I was pg with DD. I didn't think that was possible, and going through that again was the one thing I absolutely did not want to do, it was awful. He feels I've chosen the baby over him - I don't understand why he can't welcome his own child - he can only see negatives and problems, and no positives at all. I suggested counselling for us, he refused point blank. I asked if he could talk to a friend, but he said nobody understood last time, and couldn't see that they would this time. So he won't talk to anyone, and I don't know how he's going to come to terms with it. Maybe I'm being selfish for continuing with the pregnancy when he's so opposed to it. I think he was relieved that I had I talked to my friend, because he knows that helps me. He says he doesn't want to leave, but the only thing that has stopped him looking for somewhere else, is that his dad (who died many years ago) would have been horrified. I'll ask him out of courtesy if he wants to come to the scan tomorrow, but I can't see it, and it'll probably better for both of us if he doesn't.

On the plus side, he does love me, I was beginning to wonder, and we ended up DTD last night, which I think was important for us.

Thank you all for your patience if you've got this far.

I hope everyone enjoys Valentine's day, and has lovely treats from their DPs - we never do it anyway as DH always says it's commercial nonsense and he doesn't need a special day to tell me he loves me.

love to all xxx

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