Elderberry Pavlovas Unite - the over 30s TTC number 1 (thread 3)

Commiserations happy

Hope all goes well on Friday bottle

Have coped with two birth announcements and two pregnant bellies in my face this Xmas and don't feel too bad about it- think the wine / gin and cheese diet helped. Here's to 2013 bringing us good times and answering our bfp prayers.

Happy I've had that before. Really peed off I'd wasted a stick as well as AF turning up. Then that evening met with friends who announced they were preg! Punch in the tits!

Just been catching up on the thread.

In reference to the FB conversation, I will probably go public after 12 week scan. It's been quite hard not to post anything about having to stay sober. and I had to delete a congrats message on my wall from my cousin
I've been the one who's read other peoples new baby updates and felt really fucked off it wasn't me but I would never expect them to keep their news off FB so not to upset me. However, the mummy-bores and the 'Ive had a baby so I know absolutely everything now and I should write a book' types, get right on my tits!

Providing all goes well this time and I end up with a healthy baby, I really hope I don't loose all my sensitivity to how I felt ttc and the MCs.

I used to work with a lady who bored the shit out of me about her son. Seriously, every bloody detail of what he said and did. Even the contents of his nappies! This was before I was even trying.... Anyway, she told me once that she'd had him quite late and didn't think she could have kids so I guess that explained it a bit.
And then there was another colleague, who knowing about my MCs was still unable to speak to me for more than a few seconds without mentioning her pregnancy. My first day back after the first MC she came over to my desk to welcome me back with her massive pregnant belly in my face and moved straight onto the subject of her baby..... FFS! Not sure if she was being thick or a bitch.

Anyway, rant over.
Still worrying its all going to go wrong, but I guess I'll just have to get used to that feeling
Scan Friday. Eeeeeeek

(I meant AF arriving immediately after POAS).

Happy, I'm sorry about AF. That's not uncommon in my house

Oh I'm sorry happy.

Oh so sorry happy. At least you can send the old evil 2012 away in style, with loads of champagne!

So AF turned up this morning. Right after I'd just POAS. Double kick in the teeth

New Year's resolution = get a BFP!!

Yeah I actually agree! Go for it girl

I'm sure they will check before poking about up your bits and bobs And if you were to be upduffed already then what a way to find out!

It's a lap and dye so they will be poking about up my bits and bobs.
I think I'll carry on as usual unless advised otherwise. There is nothing in the paperwork I've got to say don't get updiffed.

Bunny I would book in for just after your fertile window so you can avoid DTD and its unpleasant after effects for a day or so before flashing your bits at someone. That should still be classed as mid cycle.

Pip is the Op you're having related to TTC? My friend was booked in for some investigation work after TTC unsuccessfully for about 2 years. When she got to the hospital they scanned her during the pre op, told her she was already pregnant and sent her home! I think she was only about 5DPO so way too early to show up on a home test. So if you are having an Op to investigate why you haven't conceived yet it sounds like they rule out pregnancy before doing anything which could be harmful to an embryo so I personally would continue TTC as normal.

What is the op pip? Is it general anaesthetic? If so I think I would wait as I think it can harm the baby. It would be Sod's law you would not know about it. But that's only my non medically trained opinion!

I'm not sure what to do this month ladies.
I have my pre op consultation on the 8th which is cd 14 and then my op on cd24. My usual ov date is anywhere from cd13 to 20. Should I just DTD for fun or not at all? Should I carry on with my CBFM or will I get skewed stats from the op?

Boodle, if you google infertility or conceiving and TSH levels, you find many similar stories - some experts even want to get TSH under 1 for women trying to conceive.

Hi Viv, thanks for the tip off about the clomid thread. I shall go and have a look. My husband did get his test results printed (I told him to make sure he got them...such a shame I forgot to follow my own advice...) and his motility was 25% progressive, 10% non-progressive and 65% immotile. Morphology was 3%. It would seem both are a little low according to the reference ranges accompanying his results, but have decided not to worry until he gets his second SA done.

I also know how you feel about the 2ww (or 1ww in my case) and no longer feeling hope. I just spend it watching out for the inevitable spotting that kicks in around day 7. The only "good" thing for me is that I'm yet to suffer the agony of a BFN - AF always beats me to it!

Hazel I think one of the reasons I am so knackered is the shopping! DH didn't get me a Christmas present so I could get myself something from him while we're here . And yes they do have good maternity shops. I have bought 2 pairs of trousers which I unfortunately now need while I am here due to constipation.

As for the holidays, I am a bit if a holiday junkie myself so I can't see my desire to go to good places coming to an end after baby, but I suppose we will just see how it goes. I have to admit I was looking at families with pushchairs in Times Square yesterday, fighting through the crowds in the freezing cold and thinking they must be mad!

Rach but all the shopping you can do! Tons of maternity shops there as well. And maternity fitness wear, [rant] the choice on this side of the pond is just ridiculous - even shops that advertise themselves as specialised in maternity sports wear have 2 tops and 1 pair of capris, all hideous and/or unwearable in real life.

As for travelling with kids - my niece has been all over the world from when she was 2 months and my sister has never stayed in any child-friendly resorts, not to mention Centre Parcs. It's doable.

Sorry to hear that mother but like you said there's still hope. I too am due AF on 1st Jan. Away in Edinburgh at the moment so decided am going to POAS tomorrow if she doesn't show before then. That way if its bad news at least I can leave it behind in 2012 and start the New Year afresh and also have a bloody good drink to drown my sorrows on NYE

Rache and captain - yes I know all those stats. In my close family I have two GP's and two paediatric consultants and have been discussing option over Christmas lunch!

To me I'm just quite a logical / mathematical person, and all the benefits of a natural birth have to be balanced our with the risks to my mind. Risks increase significantly once you're past 35 (eg you're 3 or 4 times more likely to need an emcs, and assisted births (forceps etc) are much more frequent). Some of the risks are quite scary, and my midwife agreed and said to weight them up and choose. Argh don't know what to do. If I could be guaranteed a straightforward natural birth I would of course choose that... But who knows. Have a while to think about it though!

Captain I am absolutely terrified at the prospect of labour and birth, but after what you wrote I am going to do more reading up on natural birth and its benefits to try and get my head around it (and then knowing my luck a c section will be medically necessary!)

Viv I have been to NY before but DH hadn't and wanted to visit before we are restricted to child-friendly holidays at Centre Parcs and Butlins. TBH it is really taking it out of me - it's absolutely freezing and all the walking around and sight seeing is making me so tired. And TMI ALERT the time difference has screwed up my body clock meaning I haven't 'been' for 3 days which is quite uncomfortable. In hindsight I think maybe a beach holiday would have been better in pregnancy. Oh well.

Quod, my thoughts are with you and I hope Monday helps you to move forward x

Welcome Boodle and Griff Boodle, over on the Clomid thread there is a lady who has been battling to get her TSH down to 2.5 and as soon as she did she fell pregnant. What were your husband's motility and morphology scores? If you didn't get them, try to get into the practice of demanding evidence of tests scores etc.

Zombie, I promise to try to stay away from that thread

Rache, I am more than a little at your holidaying in NY. I am going to Accrington on the bus to watch Skyfall

Well, it's 7DPO for me and I have given my thermometer to DP to hide so I can't scrutinise my chart pointlessly for the next week looking for signs that aren't there. I no longer feel hope during the 2ww - only a sense of resignation that yet another BFN is on the horizon. Thank goodness a defeatist attitude doesn't stop sperm from fertilising eggs!

NY day, so still a glimmer of hope.....