Elderberry Pavlovas Unite - the over 30s TTC number 1 (thread 2)

Oh and Rache. I'm with you. I've not looked into costs really, if we all waited until we could afford it then no one would have children.

Oh, I can help a bit. I'm a reception teacher.
The last two years we have taken children on to full time school in the school year that they turn 5. Therefore if your child would turn 5 this coming August, then they would have started school this September.

However children are not compulsory school age until the term after they turn 5.

I haven't even looked at childcare costs. I am in complete denial that these things will cost roughly the same as a new car every year

And the birth is not happening either!!!

Thanks brave I will by a fertility multi vit at the weekend. If that ever comes. Its one of those weeks right now.
Im impressed by your organised thing re child care. It is soo expensive. We've discussed prices for one but not two. I know to have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old 8-6 5 days a week in my local children's centre costs £40 less than my take home wage. Plus their prices are likely to go up and my wages arent! No idea about where you live, but often if reception start is staggered so the child starts the term of their 5th birthday, they spend the previous term full term in nursery. Might help slightly!

Evening all. 8dpo here at moll towers. Symptom spotting like mad - tricky since almost all early pg symptoms seem to be exactly the same as my usual pms list..
Think I'm going to try and hold of Poas til Sunday as that will be 12dpo and a day late(ish) for my usual(ish) AF. Assuming she doesn't ruin all my plans by turning up before then..

How are all the other 2ww-ers? Fx for us all!

Ah, just call me statto. I'm a right old numbers geek

Yes Brave I had a scan at 8 weeks, looked fine, heartbeat and all. So not so much concerned that there's nothing there, but the nuchal scan and genetic problems.

Thanks for the stattage Janey I hadn't remembered that Hazle had had previous scans.... Took the 75% as a basic 1-in-4 chance of mc in any pg... obviously the odds will be diff (better) by the time you get as far as 12 weeks (as most mcs will have happened spontaneously by then), and if you've heard a heartbeat by then the chances of anything going wrong are teeny tiny.

Bottom-line - most pregnancies produce happy healthy babies! Thanks again for reassurance Janey

brave and hazle - by the time you get to the 12 week scan the chances of everything being OK are much, much higher than 75% - especially as you've already had healthy, normal scans hazle. Even at my great age (38!!) there's 'only' a one in 150 chance of downs or any other genetic abnormality (and it's much lower odds if your a year or two younger than me) - which I'm trying to think of as a 99.33% chance of everything being fine. As you're younger, your odds are better

bunny - know nothing I can say can cheer you. So instead I will send - and lots of it - and some positive thoughts too that it's your turn soon.

Hey MeanMrsM I'm sure you'll get into the habit soon - you're right about the early morning faff, I could never cope with that!

When I saw doctor after previous early mc, I asked him about a shoulder problem I'd been having. He said it's best not to take anything at all when TTC, paracetamol is ok, but everything else should be avoided if possible. He said using a topical ibuprofen gel would be fine instead of taking ibuprofen orally.

Soooo if you're taking any medication might be worth having a chat with doc early on.

Also, I took/am taking prenatals rather than just folic acid - has lots of goodies like Vit C, B vits, Vit D, Iron, Magnesium etc in it as well as the recommended amount of FA. I know some people don't like taking iron, but it's not a huge dose so I'm tolerating it ok.

Escorpion - I started temping In Sept, but as I gett up at 5:30 in the week, and up to 4 hrs later on the weekends the temps were a bit messed up. Plus I found taking my temp whilst still in bed with Dh sleeping in the dark next to me too much of a faff for my early morning brain to cope with!
I bought myself a cbfm, which is a bit pricey, but hopefully will prove worth it! I know that it is unrealistic for DH and me to dtd every other night on a long term basis, so pinpointing a rough time for ovulation is important for me. Having said all that, early morning brain couldn't even cope with remembering to wee on the stick yesterday am, and no amount of poking myself in the bladder after would help rectify the situation! Hopefully it will soon turn to habit...

Which all reminds me, I'm taking follic acid most days now. Is there anything else I should be taking/ avoiding? Cheers.

Aquarius and Bunny I know the feeling too - I had 2 years of waiting to conceive on top of 9 months of actually TTC! It can feel like it'll never be your turn but it will one day and that will feel brilliant and surreal at the same time!

I am shattered already - we had to pack up our whole flat this morning by 10am so that new carpets could be fitted. Ready to go back to bed! Off for a tour of the local hospital's birth centre in a bit - I will have to try to stay awake!

Step away from Dr Google Hazle There's more than a 75% chance that everything will be okay! (I think, basic maths)

It's really important to not dwell on possible bad outcomes. Unfortunately, they do happen. But most people do go on to have perfect healthy babies. I keep telling myself this, as my previous experience keeps threatening to overshadow all the hope and optimism and joy.

Don't be sad Aquarius and BunnyGirlie everything happens when it is supposed to. Sometimes, this is different to when we want things to happen, but some other things that we don't know about may need to happen first.

I know it's easy for me to say that, and feel free to throw your full glasses of at me along with all your smelly cheeses tho why you'd be throwing them rather than eating/drinking them is beyond me but your time will be here before you know it.

Re the complicated planning system Quod, basically, it's so that we can afford childcare. We both work, and earn a similar amount (me slightly more). There's no way we can afford to have two in full-time childcare at once, so we need one to be at school before number two pops out.

Tho since writing that it occurred to me that I think they don't take the younger kids until January in our neck of the woods I know some kids are not mature enough but they managed fine enough in our day!

Look how many BFPs we have already, sure it will be your turn soon!

I have my 12-week scan on 6th and of course I've been googling all possible problems and issues they might discover. Not really smart, I know, but you can't really help it, can you?

If that's any consolation I kept reading other bfps and thought it would never be my turn!!!! Everyone's times will come. I know it. But the pain in the process is quite cruel

Hi bunny I know that feeling it'll be our turn soon so it will...

Thanks Quodlibet and Rache for the information! I will look at Fertility Friend. It´s just that every other day is not working for me and putting too much pressure on my partner then me getting angry if he doesn´t want to do it right that moment! lol. I guess I want to take the pressure off us both and try and relax a bit. Pipbin, I know exactly what you mean about wanting to tell your friend. I had it romanticised in my head that I would be that far along when my Mum came here for Xmas and we could share the news with her and DP family. Then obviously you feel very down when AF comes. It is definitely stressful ttc. So for all of us on this journey and those that have already got their BFPs!!

escorpion my experience of temp charting isn't exactly vast as I got up the duff the first month doing it, but in that short time I found it quite useful in indicating what is going on. I think you probably only need to do it for a few months as once you've worked out what day your OV is you don't really need it, and it can be quite intense as you need to take your temperature as soon as you wake up so TTC ends up being the first thing on your mind every day. The problem when you're actively TTC is that your temperature only rises the day after OV so you can only use it as confirmation that it has happened and you probably need to use some kind of OV kit along side it to indicate when it's the right time to jump his bones.
So, I personally thought it was worthwhile doing but I think some others on here disagree so it's personal preference really. If you do choose to do it you can set up a free account on Fertility Friend to record your daily temperature and they turn it into a chart for you and you can compare your chart with others.

Pipbin, sorry to hear you are out. But great that your cycle is making steps in the right direction. And how nice to have some romantic awaytime to look forward to.

BraveLilBear wow you have thought that one through! Though I'm not sure I see your logic - why would you wait til DC1 is in school before having DC2? Am I being dim?

Escorpion, temping has its plus and minuses. Negatives are that it makes TTC the first thing you think about every morning, so it can be hard not to become obsessed. Also, it takes a few months to be able to identify your patterns. Positives are that it does give you a clear indication of when you have ovulated, so you can lay off the sex at that point if you wish!

Well, DP is finally back home tonight FOR GOOD! Hurrah. In the 4 1/2 weeks that we have known about the pg, DP and I have only spent 7 days together. I can't wait - have totally had enough of him working away now and feeling like a single mum-to-be!

Evening all and hi new people [waves]

Have been so busy at work so a bit quiet on here. Anyone Else excited about Xmas yet? Am finding it a v welcome distraction from ttc!

pip am sad & frustrated for you. But also well envious of your six weeks hol! good plan re: sept. Hope you have a fab time in posh hotel.

Winkle I wondered where you were, hope your new job going well.

Pregnant ones - cant believe I just joined mn when you got your bfps and now you've got heartbeats! Quite miraculous all things considered.

So this is cycle 8-ish but only my second cycle of religious opk testing and, yet again, have a smiley face on cd 16. Having a slightly alcoholic start to month but reckon it helps with businesstime....

[raises glass to everyone]

Oh hun I totally feel your heart ache
Ttc is a bastard and very very unfair to all of us.
Good timing on posh hotel though. Are u using cb ov sticks?

I've also worked out that my fertile week should be when we are staying in a posh hotel!
Bring on the sexytime.

Did have a cry today though as I got confirmation from my friend that we will see her at Xmas. Last Xmas she was 8 weeks. Now she will have her baby. They has only been trying for two months. I really wanted a BFP today so I could be 8 weeks when we saw her this time.

Pip
.... but here's to a festive BFP and actually being able to enjoy the Christmas party season properly!

In the spirit of positive thinking Pipbin it's probably also better for littl un to be oldest in class rather than youngest in the class... All sorts of studies show Sept kids do better than Jul/Aug kids.

(tho I have to admit, the thought of only needing to wait 3 and a half years to go for number two is amazing. Probably the most ridiculously optimistic thing I've ever said, but true! If DC pops out in summer holidays, they'll be going to school within 4 years and a month. If they pop out in Sept, it'll be 4 years 11 months. Means we can get cracking on number two a year earlier!)