Trying to conceive after mc? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake part 4

cog yes, he did. he never acted like I was vulnerable or sad or pg with a baby but with a banal thing that might be dead :(. He said worse than that about the situ, I couldn't repeat it it was too awful but DH was devastated by the state I was in when he got home.

he is not my GP thank god, but he was the on duty dr and even tho I said to the receptionist I did not want to deal with him again I had no choice unless i waited until late afternoon. I will have to say something but am dreading getting caught up in a fight, too hormonal and all that. but really, it's like he has no heart. He's the one that said even if everything is ok at the 12 week scan (at my 'hey I'm pregnant after a nasty mc' chat) it could still all be wrong at the 20 week scan - because I had picked him up on the mc he had just congratulated me on being pg with. he likes to be barry big bollocks. grrrrr.

but thanks :) will stop ranting about him now!

wilde - so glad today had a happy ending for you
pebs - hope you're ok?
I've still not had any symptoms apart from feeling knackered and a poke-y feeling in my uterus, so feel like a bit of a fraud. Am 4+4 today so still v early days. Counting down to my 7 wk scan...
How are the other recent BFP-ers doing?

Oh and so happy everything is ok.

wilde have I understood that your gp referred to your baby at 15 weeks as retained products of conception? and

It's a horrible expression anyway.

Would def complain and is there a way you could change gps?

jolly I did do my homework, then did my scan

tas and backward I think I will have to complain about the GP. It is like he is a sociopath, he is so cold and shitty and sexist. If I wasn't me, and a PITA I would have waited till weds and be in bits tonight and, from what he said I would be fully expecting to have the most traumatic mc, while still being ignored er, by him. I asked him for help, he basically said, 'oh yes, you will need our help because these awful things will happen to you. But I am am not going to give it to you until weds after these awful things have happened.' bastard. And he never once called my baby a baby, but 'retained products of conception'. wtaf.

Anyway, am so happy tonight. I feel like for the first time since I started spotting at 6 weeks someone listened to me (EPU were just fab), and now I can actually be confident the baby really is ok and the spotting isn't heralding mc. It is huge.

good on you tas for ringing, that's quite a milestone.

Yay wilde! That doctor sounds like a right cock. I'd complain x

Wilde phew! So glad all is ok, but what an absolute arse for a GP! Have you got the energy to complain?

I have called the specialist counsellor and left a MSG. I saw her before and it did help. Thanks, your messages have given me the impetus to do it. I've always fretted about babysitters for dd but I'm just going to beg favours and we'll work it out somehow.

hey all

thanks for your advices earlier, I took them and got a referral to EPU. Baby fine turns out they can se my placenta on the scan now and it is over the cervix which is making me bleed whenever I do owt :) It should shift tho if it doesn't it means a CS but I don't care!

Dr who I had to speak to to refer me was the total twat who I saw when first pg (who congratulated me on being pg but was referring to my last, mc pg as he hadn't read my notes properly and then was cross with me for the rest of the appt). he was brutal about what kind of mc this would be at 15 weeks but still wouldn't refer me today. sicko. I fought him and got my referral though.

anyways.

tas go to your counselling, be well. mental health is just as important as sickness

thansk for today. what a horrid day but what a lovely ending.

Hi pebs sounds v normal to me, had that with dd who is nearly 4yrs old now. Totally understandable that you're worried, can you speak to your midwife?

I'm madly stressing about everything, can't sleep and I feel like shit. I thought I was getting my anxiety under control but after the pneumonia, I'm wobbling. Wondering whether I should call and ask to speak to a bereavement midwife. Though I feel like a bit of a fraud cos I see them as there for people who've had late losses. I've just had a mmc and ectopic, though all in the past year so it has been intense.

Wilde, sounds like it's all getting better. I completely understand the feeling of needing to get things out of the way first. I was exactly the same with my ectopic, I didn't even do a test til the weekend even though I knew I was pg. I needed to get stuff done that week and I knew I'd need energy for what was coming. Though I would really get to the Epau ASAP. You can get looked after there, a&e isn't a nice place to be with a pg problem.

Jolly hope you're doing ok

Hi to everyone else

i am feeling a bit better now. just took the belt off my normal (not maternity) dress. is there a dick head icon!

i am going to catch an earlier train home tonight and have a chill out anyway.

Jolly when i use ic's the line doesn't get darker for ages. i was expecting the line to be darker each day and panicked.

Hey Jolly I'm impressed at your resolve!

I refused to test early after last time. Well I say last time, I lost that at 5+2 and hadn't tested til a day late and still, when you google chemical pregnancy, it makes out that you're only upset because you tested early and if you hadn't tested early then you'd never have known and therefore it's all your own fault.

Which I bitterly, bitterly resent. I already feel like a total fraud being on this thread as so many people (no-one here, I might add, just a general google-supplied perception of medical world) don't class chemical pregnancies as 'proper' pregnancies and therefore 'proper' miscarriage.

Sorry for the rant, and I know so many people have have experiences a million times worse than mine, but my experience still had a significant impact on me.

Anyway. I really hope you get some clarity soon.

If still nothing by Wednesday, I'll test then. But honestly, I know I'm not pregnant. Like last time, I woke up one morning, and knew something had gone wrong. Next day, mc started.

Hi wilde so sorry you're having drama. Really hope you're ok. Good luck with the first draft. Yes it's practical, but I would agree that's probably best - but if you get any red flag symptoms, please please consider dropping work and getting things sorted first.

Fx for you (on both fronts).

Jolly I don't know what to say. Sending you love and luck and POAS resistability. I think your OH is being very sensible - not that that will make you feel any better, I know.

Stay positive pebs give the mw a call - sounds like they're treating you so well, I'm sure they'll be able to offer some advice or reassurance...

AFM, well, AF still taunting me. Stronger AF pains every day, still no sign. Just want to reset the clock so I can focus on getting a Christmas BFP.

it is shit, pebs and pretty sad when I realise i am just holding it together until tomorrow aft when I finish work and it will all start to hit me. I will have to start getting the ball rolling with EPU etc i suppose because I don't think I can go to my 16 week appt next tues wondering if I am still pg! listening in will be hellish. shit bugger tits.

i do wish I had a doppler you know. It could all be fine!

sure your bumpy is ok, but understand your worry!

how shit is it to be so practical about these things?

my bump is aching at the top today. i don't like it as i had this pain in my pg which ended in mmc at 20 weeks. hoping it's nothing but it's not nice.

will ring my midwife if it is still achng later.

thanks ladies, I really appreciate your time and thoughts. I don't know what to do. TBH I have to finish my first complete draft of my PhD for tomorrow aft, then I have a week off while it is marked. I think for now I must get that done and then I can see about my baby knowing that if I have got a problem I can deal with it fully.

Might sound crackers but Uni don't know am pg again and am so nearly there I might as well finish while am not in any pain. If the bubs has died then there is shit all i can do about that and the moment I find that out I will be finished for quite a while. Would be good to at least get my work out of the way as I will be free to grieve then.

how very practical

wilde i would go for the scan in your position just to see what is happening. can you not ring the gp and get them to refer you straight to epu without a gp appointment.

it's probably nothing to worry about and like you said that clot might have been causing spotting and now it's gone but if it is a mc you don't want to have a late mc at home.

you sound like you are not too worried so i see that as a good sign.

If not he...stupid phone!

wilde what a morning-i think it sounds like a clot that's just shifted due to boulder climbing, he no more cramps now then doesn't sound like mc to me. Just keep an eye on how you're feeling and don't be scared of scan, it could reassure you xx

Hope you're ok wilde sounds scary x