Trying to conceive after mc? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake part 4

Hi all, and a big hi and hug for textbook, I had a mmc discovered at the 12 wk scan a year ago, I really sympathise. It's a horrible experience. Hope you can take hope that I'm pg now and it all seems to be ok at 17 wks.

Hi to everyone else

Brave can you ask your Epau for a reassurance scan? I had one at 10 wks. Though I personally think peace of mind is worth paying for, my DH is very understanding that I'm the one with the majority of the stress hanging over me and is happy for us to pay for private scan wheni start metalling. Anyway, hope you're feeling better.

Thanks everyone for making me feel so welcome. It is crap Jollyb, you are totally right, and I've been working from home watching DVD's on the sofa for the last week which seems to be helping. I just couldn't face going into the office, and tbh am dreading going back, even though most people won't know why I've been off.

Also, tis very heartening to hear that so many of you have been able to conceive so quickly after, and are doing so well! Hopefully the good luck will rub off - I also don't think I can face contraception, so I think we will just see what happens when I'm feeling better .

Arrrgh have had to put the metal jacket on ladies! I have just had to announce that i'm pregnant in an email to the parish council that i'm a councillor on! They want to change the date of a key meeting that i'm hugely involved in (both the preparation and on the day) from Jan until late Apr and i needed to say why without being too weird and mysterious or just coming across as throwing a tantrum and being unhelpful just cos they were going to change the date. Argh so scary actually writing it down, and to people who I generally only consider myself to sort of work with, especially as we've not even told in person many of our closest friends yet!

Just have to keep reminding myself that i had my 16 wk mw appointment this morning and she listened to the HB and all was well - even said she heard the baby kick the doppler away.

Welcome to the newbies. I waited before ttc again after my first mc which was a mmc at 12 weeks as i had to have the ERPC op and just didn't feel physically or mentally up to again for a few months and it took a while for my cycles to settle but after my second mc at 5-6 weeks we tried again straight away and here i got pregnant again straight away and here i am at 16 wks (argh!). I had two early scans during this pregnancy privately for reassurance and to help get my dates sorted out so that i could be more confident of having the 12 week scan in the necessary window to enable them to do the combined test.

Thanks HJ that sounds like a really interesting read. Although I may have overblown the tiff somewhat is it too soon to blame pg hormones?

Hi textbook sorry you find yourself here, but pull up a pew. I had an early mc/chemical at 5+2 so was encouraged by GP to get back int eh swing of trying straightaway. Amazingly, I've caught again first time - word is that you're more fertile after a mc for a couple of months so if you wanted to wait for a real period for dating purposes, you should still be able to benefit from that boost...

Thanks pebs dorita and HJ for the welcome

I do feel much better knowing that its all over, if you know what I mean. The wait was awful between the 1st scan and the mc, but I feel much less crazy and more pragmatic now.

I'm definitely hoping to have an early scan if/when I'm pg again - asked at EPAU today and they said I couldn't have one on the NHS, so I'm probably going to go private as I know I'll be worrying which surely can't be healthy. As if pregnancy wasn't stressful enough already...

Meant to say thanks, pebs and dorita for the reassuring words.

Know one should never wade in on either side of a domestic riff, but ive read of studies which show frequent check-ups and 'tender loving care' by medical professionals does actually seem to improve pregnancy outcomes among women with recurrent miscarriage, so I'd say you're well supported by science when it comes to wanting a reassurance scan, brave.

I read about this study in a book, called Coming to Term, on recurrent m/c by a science journalist whose wife had three or four (before going on to have two healthy kids). It's a fantastic book, I think, because it goes rigorously through the evidence about what we do and don't know about m/c and m/c treatments while still being very human and engaged with the non-scientific aspects.

Made me feel loads better after my second just to have a clear understanding of the facts - and one of them was that, perhaps strangely, lots of reassurance is at least as effective as medical treatments for m/c. Another was that the odds are very much in our favour for having successful pregnancies this time, and if not now then in future pregnancies.

Welcome text and sorry to hear of your loss. I didn't wait specifically after my first m/c and i got pg again on the second cycle. Did take a break after the second so that we could see a consultant. Honestly, I don't think I'd have wanted the anxiety and bodily looniness of being pregnant so soon that time. Best of luck whatever you decide.

Welcome textbook I'm so sorry you've gone through this as well and hope you're feeling a little bit better - I felt that once the 'physical' side of the mmc was over, I could just be sad and work on feeling better. As for when to start, I'd go with whenever you feel ready. They say to wait so a quick pregnancy can be dated but to be honest, that can be sorted out within a few weeks anyway.

We had a lovely weekend away, were staying near Portmeirion. jolly I got my smiley face on the CB digi ovulation kit this morning! It's crap timing because DP's sperm test is Wednesday so we definately can't dtd, but I'm made up that the test has worked so I'll know for next month. And, you never know, sperm's meant to hang around for up to 5 days so could be okay, fingers crossed.

I just want to say I'm thinking of all the metallers worrying over symptoms or lack of, as pebs says, metal is a normal state of mind right from the off so I just hope you manage to relax a bit and get reassurance from other ladies on here who have proven that babies do happen for us xx

text sorry to hear about your mc. i waited for my first af but i know a lot of ladies get pg without having af. it makes dating a bit more complicated but other than that it should be ok. tbh i have always needed the break.

Hello all... mind if I join you? I had an mmc discovered at 12wk scan last week, and miscarried at home on Saturday. It was utterly awful, and I am full of sympathy for everyone who has had to go though this . MN has been so helpful over the last week - even just reading other people's posts and knowing I wasn't alone...

Had scan today at EPAU and everything is clear, so am hoping to try again soonish. How long did everyone here wait before trying? I didn't expect to feel so strongly about it, but I'm desperate to get going if I'm honest!

HJ You're definitely not alone! It is a very mentally challenging time.

Me and the OH had a mini-bust-up yesterday because I was looking into getting a private reassurance scan at about 8 weeks. He said it was a waste of money and that I should wait like everybody else. Also said that I should be more positive instead of dwelling on everything that could go wrong.

Eventually he conceded that the reason I am worrying is because 'I don't feel pregnant yet' - he thinks my booking appt will magically cure all my fears!

I don't necessarily agree but I'm trying to be as positive as possible. Felt sick all day Saturday and Sunday, was wretching from the smell of bleach while I cooked dinner last night, but today I don't feel sick at all. This is a bit scary. But for the moment at least I'm choosing to see it in the best possible light.

Ie I don't feel sick today, must be my body's getting used to all the hormones. And 'I'm so lucky I feel energised and not too fatigued right now'

Easier said than done, and I'm still wobbling and secretly googling 'benefits of private scan but I do feel ever so slightly more positive.

Hope you can find some positives soon xxx

i think we are all on an emotional rollercoaster HJ. you are not alone!

It's a bloody nightmare isn't it. some of the ladies who are near term are still panicking.

Afternoon, ladies. Having a bit of a wobbly day here as I'm feeling much less sick and sore than I have been. Know that symptoms come and go and there's nothing for it but to wait it out, but really struck how variable my mood is.

Yesterday I got a 2-3 on the CB test and was thinking how much more pregnant I felt than in the previous two pregnancies even though I'm a week earlier than when I miscarried them. Was feeling really confident and with a hunch this one was going to last.

Today, apropos of nothing, I'm not feeling pregnant at all, really, and am certain this will end like the others did. Trying very hard to ignore the mental back and forth as it does no good at all, but very trick not to think about it.

Anyone else having mad mental see-saw action going on?

Great news jolly a 2-3 feels amazing, doesn't it? Fx for the 3+ in a week or so!

Interestingly, I did some research the other day and it said that the ranges were 10-200 =1-2 weeks, 200-20000 (yes, 20k) 2-3 weeks and 20000+ was 3+ weeks. If you get a 2-3 but you only have 200, and if you exactly doubled every day you would only hit 20000 on day 8 (but, as, I think the exact definition is something like 70% increase over two days which is slightly less than doubling) it can take a couple of extra days to hit the magic 20000.

Just thought I'd throw that in there for anyone liable to panic - hence, I'm not waiting til Thurs to check mine again. That is a week since 2-3, but the 2-3 was at 17dpo, so should be realistic.

Glad you're feeling calmer cheese fx you'll get some positive signs again soon to top up the reassurance meter.

Very jealous of all the exotic travelling at the weekend - Wales and shopping centres? I managed a trip to a nearby field at dusk on Saturday for a spot of geocaching. Glamourous, it wasn't.

Congrats to Leedy

Hey Polka how are you feeling today?

Sorry to hear your news polka are you trying for your first? I would definatley have a look into private testing. I think it's about £1k for Raj Rai to do all the tests. He runs a private clinic on Harley St on wednesday mornings. I went to see him earlier this year and he was lovely. He will give you confidence to carry on. I think £1k is worth paying for avoiding the heartache of another mc.

cheese i can't feel movements at 21 weeks :( i have anterior plancenta though). i am trying to feel confident in the pregnancy by seeing my bump is growing and it seems to change throughout the day so i hope that is due to the baby changing position. My midwife is coming to listen in on wednesday morning so i am crossing my fingers everything is ok.

Cheese so glad you're feeling re assured

Ladies when I had my dd she was feet first breech so didn't feel much movement - mw told me if I was worried drink a cup of hot chocolate - that did the trick - just don't do it just before bedtime lol x

Thanks for your advice, ladies. On a rational level, I know it's likely the baby has moved position, anterior placenta etc. Plus I'm only 15 weeks. Feeling a bit calmer now.

I have exactly the same thing cheese - am 19+3 and when I don't feel movement for a day I really worry, even though I know that until 28 weeks they're not expected to be regular. There was a thread on the pregnancy forum a couple of weeks ago from someone who was 19 weeks and had been feeling daily movement, but then nothing for an entire week. The mw listened in and all was fine. I'm trying to take comfort from that.

cheese if you're not sure, I can't remember how many weeks you are. Can you call the hopsital to get it checked out if you are worried at all?

Dorita that sounds idyllic - a Welsh conception would be lovely!

Jolly that's great about the CBD - hopefully reassuring for you.

I've had a bit of a crappy 24 hours. Not felt much movement during this time & convinced myself it's a late mmc. Think I've felt a little in the last hour or so - I hope.

Got my amnio next Monday & at least that will mean another scan. I don't think you ever get over a m/c, especially mmc & my mind is doing overtime.

Off to do some more stomach prodding...

leedy what great news congratulations, enjoy every minute it gives us all hope to hear of the graduates

jolly did venture out but now on the sofa as feeling a little flaky!

No I've only (!) miscarried twice but the first mmc was twins, so no investigations but an contemplating going private.

Enjoy your weekend ladies

Well done Leedy wonderful and inspiring news! And jolly How exciting! And needing a sit down already, so tiring being pg eh? [Grin] We're in Wales for the wkend and I'm sitting looking out at hills with a cuppa hoping we made a baby this morning, fingers crossed! Enjoy the rest of your shopping day. Hi to everyone else!