Trying to conceive after mc? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake part 4

Hello and welcome WillSanta, sorry for your loss, but you'll find us a sympathetic and friendly lot

JollyB hadn't realised (or maybe had forgotten) that we're practically BFP twins. 7+3 here today (well, by my dates, at least). Glad there's no more drama thus far.

Just a step at a time, and you'll get to Wednesday before you know it.

Can I join

Had a mmc in the summer, now TTC again except we won't be trying this month as I'm ovulating now and DH has man flu (so definitely won't be DTD tonight).

Feeling a bit about it these days due to the world and his wife seeming to get pregnant really easily. [Which is, I know, absolutely not true and the one thing that my MC showed me was that actually the world and his wife are more likely to have miscarried than not]

Anyway, although I don't think I'm going to be getting a BFP in 2012, I really hope it won't be too long in 2013.

Pixie, sorry to hear AF was 4 days early. Will be thinking of you next week. x
Dorita, how rubbish for you too, hope you both get early 2013 sticky bfp's and start the year in style.

$1000 for a uti check?! HJ, enjoy the NHS when you get home!

Bear, I at people who announce pg's early, happy for them and all that, but surely even if you've never had a mc, it's at the back of your mind it could happen?

Private scan for me next Friday, DH is off work so he'll be there to hold my hand.

Sorry to hear that pixie and Dorita - I can't imagine how much it must hurt. Grieve the year, but also remember to enjoy the things you do have - supportive DHs and plenty of family fun and at Christmas.

Then it's New Year, new chapter, new hope. Thinking of you both x

Oh pixie sending virtual hugs to you, it's rubbish, I had the same in September. AF just arrived here a day early. In one way I'm quite glad to right off 2012 as being shit and to look forward to the lovely 2013 that awaits us all xx

Oh, pixie, what a rubbish combination of stuff for you to have to process at once. Awfully sorry you had two losses in quick succession. I had the same this year and can well understand why you're feeling so low as 2012 draws to an end. I hope you've got lots of support in RL to see you through the low and that 2013 brings a lot more joy your way. Xx

Thanks for kind words brave - will help lots to have DH near, I suspect. Only 8 days to go. And then I really want to fly home and give the NHS a big bear hug. It's easy to forget just how glorious it is in lots of ways.

Hi ladies - ending the year on a bum note for me - AF arrived 4 days early bitch next week would have been my EDD for the first MC (the second being 26th feb) on a bit if a downer ATM and want to cry all the time :(

OMG $1000 for a UTI check? That is insane thank god for travel insurance (and the NHS).

Sorry you're worrying though HJ maybe having DH nearby will help.

How you doing JollyB? Hope you're not too worried about the brown stuff, I may not know much but it does sound pretty normal to me.

Hey Buzzy Really hope 2013 is your year. I think your reactions seem totally normal to me - in fact, I'm wrestling with my own demons at the moment as friends of ours came out as pg last week and we saw them at the weekend. Despite non-disclosure agreement, DP spilled the beans when I was 6+3. I totally freaked out.

All three of them are happy to 'have someone to talk about pg with' and while I found it nice enough, found it annoying how positive and upbeat they were. The guy in particular was taking the piss about the 'dreaded 12 week safe point' like it was an imaginary issue.

In fairness, this is their first pregnancy, and I haven't told them that we had an early miscarriage last time, which would have been due the same week as their baby is due. But I found the blissful innocence a little hard to take.

Cheers, jolly. Sorry to hear you're still spotting and can well understand how stressful that is. Imagine it helps a bit to have identified the source of the bleeding in your last scan and be able to know this is normal in those circumstances. Do hope it stops for you soon though. So good you've got regular scans to help you know where you stand - hope your 10 days go quick.

I've been terrible about knicker-checking and unsubstantiated feelings of dread today. Feeling just a wee bit crampier and for some reason stupidly certain I'm going to start spotting any minute. Perhaps it was spending a few hours in hospital yesterday to get the UTI sorted and subconsciously thinking of previous hospital visits for miscarriage and that this is what I'd be doing, without DH this time, if it goes wrong in the next week and a half.

Hate the rollercoaster of moods - its not that I'm actively thinking things will go wrong or even feeling outwardly anxious, both of which I have strategies for (lots of statistics and relaxation techniques). It's just an impenetrable and illogical feeling of profound pessimism, of "I know this will not end well", which I find I can't argue myself out of.

Really looking forward to my first scan - I've never seen anything in a scan. First mc was too early and the second I was out of the country, like now, and didn't have access to a scan until after I'd passed everything naturally. Hope seeing a sturdy little HB in there will help this feel a lot more solid and give me something to fight off these certain doom moodswings with.

Had thought of treating myself to one here in the US after DH joins me here, but seeing as a simple pee-in-a-cup UTI diagnosis (on travel insurance) cost nearly $1000 , I'll be waiting till I'm back home in January!

Belated congrats on your new job, possom. Hope all is well for you despite 'deflation', gary. It's really hard not to assume the worst will happen again. Hope all others are doing well and have enjoyed a restful and/or fun weekend.

At 6w4, I'm officially past the point of my previous two miscarriages by a few days and tentatively feeling hopeful -while not really believing anything till my first scan scheduled for 10w2.

Had been feeling a bit uncomfortable in the weeing/bladder area so worked up the gumption to invoke travel insurance (I'm out of the UK till the end of the month) and went to get tested for a UTI.

Now on an antibiotic (nutrifuantoin?) for a week. Looked it up as the name on the bottle was not the name on the prescription (brand name switch) and there are lots of studies saying it's the AB of choice in pregnancy and one questionably valid study which suggests it may increase risk for birth defects and m/c. And of course there are forum posts from women who feel it's to blame for their bad outcomes.

Do wish there was one authoritative information source for all things pregnancy related to keep me from fuelling my pessimism with the Internet.

Thanks so much Jolly and Yikes I think I'm finding her pregnancy particularly difficult because it's at the stage mine would have been. I can't expect her to be sensitive to how I feel though when she doesn't even know what's happened! Another friend also had her second this week which spiked my jealousy a bit, she did take 3 years to get pregnant with her first including 2 failed attempts of IVF though so nobody could accuse her of having an easy time of it.
Feeling much better today (if slightly hungover) after a works Christmas do last night. They all know about my mcs due to one rather gobby person who told them all. One work friend in particular though, who had a mc when I was pregnant with ds has helped me put things in perspective.
Really glad things are going well for you now Yikes and Jolly. This thread has certainly shown me how things can turn around.

Hi buzzy, I can completely relate to your post about how ttc changes you into a not-nice person and wanting to end the year on a positive. We started the year all happy and positive and with lots of friends. We got engaged and started ttc in January this year and got married in June so it should have been a perfect year. But we had a mc two weeks before our wedding and it all went downhill from there. I avoided all of our (five!) preggo friends at our wedding and have avoided them since. We almost have no friends now and the people we hang out with now tend to be much younger than us and child-free. DH and I didn't have the best start to our married life due to the sheer stress of ttc. When I made a comment to my sister about 2012 being a horrible year she was shocked as it was our wedding year. But she got preggo straight away with each of her three children so she doesn't really 'get' how hard ttc can be. It all changed for me when DH and I went on a week's all-inclusive do-nothing holiday that forced us to relax. It was at a non-fertile time for me too so there was no pressure to be dtd all the time. And I came away feeling quite different about it all. I really hope you get a good relaxing break at Christmas. Maybe that will be the boost you need? Take care. xx

Hi all. Not been on for a while just having a catch up. Congrats to all the recent BFPs and good luck for the next few weeks. I know how stressful it can be but Jolly your scans sound very positive.

Not having a good week at all this week. AF arrived as expected on Monday but this one has really got to me. Think it's because I really wanted to end such a difficult year on a bit more of a high note and it seems to be taking ages to get pregnant this time (last mc in July so I know it's not really that long but it hasn't been for lack of trying!). Went out for a meal last night with some of my NCT friends, one of whom is pregnant and due just after I would have been. I never told her about my mcs as I didn't want her to feel awkward around me but she just kept banging on and on about being pregnant (quite reasonable as she is 7 months) and I just felt telling her to shut up. I actually feel like I don't want to see her for a bit because her pregnancy is such a reminder of my loss. I've really been trying to get stuck in to work to focus on something else but it just seems pregnancy and babies are everywhere! Now KM's pregnant it's going to be even worse and she's not even 12 weeks, why does everyone keep saying "she's having a baby" as if it's inevitable!

Sorry vent over. Think all this mc and ttc is turning me into a not very nice person. Thankfully dh has been brilliant this week and I know how lucky I am to have him and ds, it's just all got to me a bit this week.

Hurrah for getting the better job possom!

JollyB, your GP sounds like an arse. I like Bears suggestion of you proving her wrong with this one...and hoping at some point GP will get covered in baby sick or wee.

Thanks for the reassurance about my, erm, bits. Everything still feels deflated but trying to be positive.

Dorita, hope you had a great night & weren't the only sober one there (which can suck!)..good luck in the 2ww!

Hope everyone has a good weekend, I shall be mostly trying to get the last few christmas bits in & avoiding Dr.Google.

I'd have given you the job garyb! What a fab way to show spontaneity!! You've given everyone the boost they needed today

I've been on work christmas do tonight, first one sober in 18 years!! Not pg, but in 2ww and have more or less given up alcohol, but did have a lovely hot spiced buttered rum, deelicious. I was pg (tho didn't know) at last year's do so felt a bit odd but strangely positive for a good 2013, get this horrid 2012 out of the way!

I thought it was, but on reflection, maybe for the best. I did, however, have an interview for a different job this afternoon, and I got that one! :)

GBT that did make me laugh! Brilliant! X

Oh crikey. I think we all need some Friday love in here. How about some triple chocolate cookies, non-alcoholic beer and some hot chocolate all round?

Sorry bout your job Possum - at least you didn't sing 3 Times a Lady and then not get it... (Sorry GBT but that is rather fun!)

What a miseryguts your GP is JollyB! Seems to me you have to now get this little one in your arms to prove her wrong

Gary the pop and deflation sounds very familiar. Wind is an evil thing. not that nice laydeez like us experience such things I've seen a big improvement in crampiness today since not taking multivit prenatals. The feelings are very much 'stretchiness' rather than crampiness and much less scary. I think this confirms to me that most of my crampy pains have been bowel related.

Tis pretty stressful though.

Time will tell

Didn't get it, as suspected. Onwards and upwards!

Hello all, just thought I'd pop over from the other ttc after mc thread.

Brave, for me the stretchy was all over & not just in one place (I think we're about the same due date?).
Mrsd, fingers crossed for you, 3+ is a really good sign.

I'm 5wks today (mc late Oct/Nov) & this morning my belly sort of went 'pop' and deflated, my boobs are smaller again & I have cramps in the same place constantly...like when I had my mc, so another one looking for reassurance!
I've got a DS but can't remember what early pg was like with him!

Good luck for everyone in the 2ww!
possom, hope you get a positive phonecall (or at the very least feedback). One time during an interview I was asked if I was spontanous, and responded by singing 3 times a lady at the interviewer....I didn't get the job

Hello all - at jaffa you are a bit legendary to me... I came here as you were leaving and love your good news tale! Hope you're enjoying your lo.

Hope it didn't go as bad as that backward - you never know.

Here's a question: What's the difference between stretchy feelings and cramping - and when should one be worried? Think my cramping is mainly due to constipation/wind but it feels in the same place as AF type pain, but different. Ie it doesn't 'wave' like AF pain, is just more constant.

Have started an experiment by not taking prenatals (but am taking FA still) to see if that helps reduce cramps and so far have had stretchy feelings but no cramps.

Any words of wisdom/reassurance/panic?