TTC 10+ months, Part 11

x-post Nelly. Yes, good plan to give Mr Nelly a clearout . Baffled at the swelling... I guess you will have lots of opportunities in the next few days to get an opinion on it (bright side and all that!)

nelly hooray for the three follies and at the saggy knicker wearing. I bought a whole load of nice undercrackers the last time we all talked about it - what am I wearing today? Horrible old ones that are nearly a decade old. Poor MrC!

rabbit I am here, having my tea and about to trot off to work. A 12 hour shift does not sound like fun at all. Neither does being cold.

sar Aw, I'm so sorry about the grade A announcement, that is always horrible. I have one I am expecting, from MrC's much younger cousin. It shouldn't bother me, but it's always a kick in the stomach. Hang in there sar, you will get your baby. Not long now til your op.

art and doll, good luck - I have everything crossed for you both. What amazing ladies you are.

gin hope you are ok - I have been thinking of you a lot. A heavy period just adds insult to injury. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It isn't fair.

buzzy at self-administered IUI - the mind boggles!

lemon wine country sounds amazing. Good to have you back! And good luck with the next IUI round - it's coming up quickly now.

joy sorry about the bleeding - that sounds stressful but as others have said, maybe you just knocked something? Has it stopped yet?

euro interesting about the wheat. Will be curious to see whether you notice any other changes in your cycle.

Right, better go dry my hair and head into work. Sorry to all I've missed - good luck charlotte and sorry I can't be helpful on the operation advice.
I have a special chat with my boss today to talk about my job and budgets - eek. A bit scary but I have some ideas for him in my pocket so hopefully it should all be fine.

Quiet here today... just me and Rabbit bored of work then? Actually I'm not bored, I just have zero concentration. Zero. Despite still having this sodding tender to finish that I have to post tomorrow. Urgh. This waiting is torture. I was woken again by severe ERTD-like pains, at 3am this time, and feel exactly as I do when the witch is about to appear. I am well aware it means nothing but it's so cruel - this thing about pregnancy symptoms being exactly the same as pre-AF symptoms is the most evil thing about this whole process! I've got a Boots digital in my drawer and was psyching myself up to pee on it this morning but I was too chicken. I can't decide which is the worst ordeal, waiting to know or the likelihood of a BFN. Doll how are you doing?

Rabbit I am with you on the up the bum thing! I have had no cystitis or irritation from the fanjo bullets thankfully.

Charlotte I'd second Rabbit's advice on taking strong painkillers before the hycosy. I had an HSG which is similar, everything was fine but I still had severe period-style pain and I went a bit faint and woozy (but I am a wimp, most people are fine). Thankfully it was over quickly. I bled afterwards and the dye/water will leak out so i would suggest taking a sanitary towel as the ones hospitals give you tend to resemble the breeze-blocks the school nurses used to hand out in the 1980s.

Joy I think bleeding after sex is only a concern if it happens frequently. If it's just a one-off there is unlikely to be a problem, most women experience it at some point.

Nelly hurrah for the superfollies and the end of injections. I agree, I found getting to appointments and managing the injections when out and about far more difficult than actually sticking the needles in.

Pout at farting winged horses. I am sure there will be people on the babydust boards who actually can do that.

Euro yes, what is sff again? I realised at the weekend that what with cystitis at the end of the summer, then the hsg sex ban and then IVF I have probably had sex no more than twice in the past three months. Thankfully MrA is not the grunting alpha-male type. I may actually have forgotten how to do it, or at least how to make it fun

With that I really must go back to my work... have to work this evening as well which I could do without. I sympathise Rabbit on the 12-hour days. Still, 24 hours and counting, at least then the waiting will be over and whatever the outcome I can just get on and deal with it. Waves and luffs to all.

I'm here rabbit pretending to work. I just can't decide which option is best. I may not be given a choice though. To amuse you, today I've decided my bits are falling out.. I have sort of "swelling" either side. But I think maybe its an underwear issue causing a sort of odeama . I'm currently wearing the oldest saggiest knickers I could find plus loose fleecy pjs to see if I can even things out. I also just tidied up down there. Hoping I can make it easy for them on Thursday .

Said to MrN last night it was exciting. He said it was scary too though as I might be pregnant next week. Forgiving him the timings, I did wonder what he thinks we've been doing the last 2.5 years? But I've decided I much prefer channelling the excitement that if might work rather than doom that it won't. Neither attitude will change the outcome but this way I'm having more fun in the meantime.

We had sex last night. With a condom. Ugh. Despite my resolve that I was never using them again, I realised MrN better freshen things up. So it was a necessary sacrifice. The condom bit. The sex itself was fun. Bonus side effect of the hormones = loads of CM (tmi? Oh well!)

Sorry Rabbit you did say you were bored

Hi charlotte I had a failed hycosy (cervix issue) so can't be of much help other than to say what I've heard from others. I'd def take the strongest painkillers you can lay your hands on. For most people it doesn't hurt but for some I think it can be like strong period pains so best to numb things a bit. My nurse suggested co codamol. I think the anticipation is the worst bit as you just want to know everything is ok in there. It will soon be over.

sarlat big squeeze. Bah to a plus that made you feel so wretched. I've been safe from them since April and know that more will come. It is a hard bit of ttc. Even if I get my baby I will still find them hard I think?

artemis how you holding up? I've been thinking of you.

nelly well done indeed. And it is all your doing!

joycep once ages ago, pre ttc I had a big bleed after a shag and convinced myself i was dying of cancer Maybe a little cervix capillary burst?

pout at winged horses. About as likely as my bfp.

I did chortle at the bum talk. NOTHING is going up my bum. I will be making it quite clear that no one is to shove something up there whilst I'm out of it! I have already talked on here about a rude experience once that was NOT FUN not to mention the horrible bum probing from March. That hole has a clear one way only sign outside it. I'll take my chances with cervical irritation, leakage and drink so much water cystitis doesn't get a look in, thank you very much. I will do most things for ttc but I WON'T DO THAT!!

gin I've been thinking about you too, hope you are OK. Loves to doll too.

I am on the road, waiting in my car is the bloody cold inbetween jobs on a twelve hour work day. 13 days to go after today... Where is everyone I am bored.

Hi Charlotte I've had HSG which I think is similar? For me it was a non-issue, no pain, just a little bit undignified as it always is when someone is working at the Chuff end . Hope it goes well, let us know.

Hi, sorry I keep popping in and out! Been trying not to obsess focus on ttc too much (yeah right). Have my HyCoSy scan tomorrow and am a bit nervous, ok really nervous, about the results. Has anyone else had this scan or similar and how did it go for you?

Yes nelly I think so too re poas v bloods. My clinic obviously think it's conclusive enough if they say to stop meds at a negative home test at 14 days past EC, which may feel a bit weird but so be it.
Well done indeed on the nellyeggs. I'm sure it has been hard to hide the whole thing from boss, so that will be behind you by the end of the week at least.

Was that at EC or ET gin? I'll make sure to ask so I'm forewarned. I'm prone (oh hahaha autocorrect put that as probe!) to bum grapes so not sure rear door is ideal but I don't fancy cystitis or leakage either. . You know,I don't think the indignities of labour will be quite such an issue to me as I once thought. .

Art one day at a time remember. Stop googling symptoms . Sorry you are being kept awake though. I am keeping everything tightly crossed.

Doll, you know, i think poas is better. For me anyway. I think it was Gin who said she couldn't bear the phone call. Blood is maybe more conclusive but POAS is private.

Have done my last gonal injection. Just the trigger tomorrow, then I get a break from stabbing myself. However it's the running back and forth to appointments that I've found harder, simply as I've had so many plus am trying to hide it from my boss.

Keep eating that chocolate gin
I don't think I would get over the arse virginity theft fast. It really does seem wrong.

Just popping in quickly to say mrsd I was on twice daily cyclogist which could be used either up the front or back door. The clinic wanted me to use front but after the hideous cystitis last time, I used back. And there was no leakage. I am an utter wuss and the idea horrified me but it really is ok. They also gave me arse bullet antibiotics. They were a bit bigger so a little more unpleasant but I only had them for 3 days. I am still a bit that they shoved up some arse bullets whilst I was out. Feel like my arse virginity has been stolen... The FET costs 1k, plus I'm sure they'll find other ways to charge us such as blood tests. I assume we have to pay even if they embie doesn't survive defrosting.

joy I've bled after sex before, but it's from my, er, vaginal wall, which is apparently very soft and tears easily. Tbh it was more of an issue with well endowed twat ex.

Waves to all. Still laughing at horse fanjo symptom. My stupid period still hurts, so am using it as an excuse to eat chocolate.

Art - oooo honey, hang in there. The last few days and hours are well mad. The cramping may be good - you just won't know. I didn't get cramping and 2 x BFN. Keep distracting yourself for 2 more days. Wednesday's plans sound sensible. Progesterone can really bugger up your bowels - hope the coffee did the trick. Sorry for knobber 'slip it round the back' ex.

Den - it is very stressful when IVF is literally just around the corner. But I assure you the cycle itself is quite straight forward. I had no back bum bullets, infact only had pesserroes pre EC. After that I had jabby style progesterone.

Rabbit - roast miner with red wine is my favourite. You shelving plans are spot on. Thank you for being lovely.

Gin - welcome !

Nelly - super IVF bride swoops in with 2 -3 juicy follies I hear . Good luck for EC. And you have done well - you didn't give up. Keep that heart wide open!!

Gin - aw sweetheart. Heavy manky periods are not nice. I guess it is to be expected though. I understand what you mean about looking at the clots in that way. Tight squeezy hugs. Just let 2 weeks pass - things will feel different.

Madness - sorry your mum has been through the mill.

Joy - I can understand that the blood is frustrating. This is a new and unwelcome thing. But I agree with what others have said. Maybe you now have increased and better blood flow after the antibiotics?

Buzz - sorry for the migraine. But wow oh wow at DIY IUI. Just luv ya Buzz, just luv ya!!!

Puot - your symptom list is very funny indeed.

Hi Critter and everyone else.

Had a grade A* preggo announcement over the weekend. A cousin who is much younger. Found out as I was walking in to an extended family event. I did not see that one coming. I felt flushed and embarressed which turned in to stabby heart and stabby stomach tension which tunned in to holding back the tears and hurty throat which turned in to full on feeling very very crap about oneself since then. Ah well - I'm still here to tell the tale. I need to get use to this. They are starting to come think and fast.

Hooray nelly!!!!! Take the credit lovely. It's not often we're praised by nurses and docs so enjoy it . I feel like I'm living vicariously through all you ivfers and learning loads to help me when it finally gets to be my turn.

Thanks for all the supportive messages about my mum. She has been poorly treated by men her whole life and just seems to act like a magnet for the sort of people who can't take care of themselves or who have addictions, depression, the list goes on. I am eternally grateful that I have learnt from the lessons of my childhood and ended up with a wonderful, responsible, thoughtful man who isn't killing himself by drinking too much. Seems wrong that I'm settled and happy (infertility blip aside) while she's feeling lonely and thinking about trying to meet someone yet again .

pout your list of preggo symptoms made me giggle.

joy I bleed after every smear test and some positions are definitely worse than others on that front. Apparently I just have a very delicate cervix .

Am a bit by all of the suppositories talk. Surprising that anything can shock me anymore though!!

Waves to mrsd, euro, rabbit, cosmos, lemon, buzzy and art

Sounds interesting Critter. Boo to busy work.

at farting winged horses pout.

So EC will be Thursday. This means I use my last dose of drugs tonight which might give the smaller follie a last boost. Also means Saturday is now almost certainly off the cards though. Still, if that's my biggest concern I can handle that! E2 is now about 3300 from the 55 it started at. Yay. The nurse said today I'd done well. Though I'm not sure I really did much.

I mean I saw her last night - the baby was born 10 weeks ago!

Hello lovelies

Just a very quick post - the bad thing about a four day weekend is the amount of work there is to catch up on when you go back on Monday!

I saw my friend and former landlady who has just had a gorgeous little baby girl last night, and she told me that they'd done ICSI and had asked for a hyaluronic acid test. I'm massively paraphrasing but basically apparently there's a test they can do with sperm where they put it in a hyaluronic acid solution (I think) and it shows up which sperms have an enzyme that allows them to penetrate the egg (I think). Apparently it's very new and you have to ask for it, but it's a good way to find out which sperms are the better ones. Apparently they may all look good under the microscope, but this test is a way to find out which ones are more likely to succeed. I did a bit of googling and found this study and this study. She had male factor issues - she also said it wasn't very expensive, around 300 dollars. Just something to think about and sorry if this adds to mentalling for anyone. I can ask her to explain it in more detail if anyone is curious.

Waves to all - will be back later.

Oh my God what hell have I stumbled on? Pessaries, bum sex, turkey basters and it's only Monday That is why I love you ladies!

artemis I can only imagine what the 2ww must be like for you right now. I always find the last few days are particularly hellish anyway let alone what it must feel like in your shoes. I don't have any wisdom about the cramping. My view now is that anything very out of the ordinary isn't a bad thing. Don't Google, you never get a proper answer. It seems to me that EVERYTHING from farting winged horses to sprouting hairy ears has been experienced by some people as a preggo symptom or non preggo symptom. I am rooting for you for Wednesday.

gin I concur that painful periods are so not on when TTC. Good for you for the babysitting and getting on with things. I admire you.

nelly good news on the embies. Hurrah.

rabbit I did giggle at the roast miners. I hadn't heard of vit D spray. I think I get a touch of the SADs. I have one of those light boxes but I don't use it.

doll Thinking of you and fingers crossing.

joycep I agree with mrsd that maybe the SWI could have caused a little bleed. When I had my last smear the nurse said that the cervix doesn't like being touched and bleeds easily.

Buzzy I am sorry about the migraine. It is miserable. Meds, toast and bed and I hope you feel better.

mrsd I second the imigran as being good. Though when I had to buy it when I had run out of my prescription meds I had a right battle with the pharmacist to give them to me. She only relented when I showed her the repeat slip of my usual meds and then I had to fill out a form and have that little slip buzzy mentioned.

It's great that you are back lemons and so glad that you had a good holiday.

Love and waves to madness cosmos euro and everyone

X-posted with loads of people.

joy thanks for the info re the greek tests.

nelly hurrah for the highland? (I know you're north of the border but not sure where) 2 (or possibly three)!

I really must do some work now...

Artemis I know exactly what you mean about getting your life and body back. I obviously didn't get as far down the IVF road as you did, but I felt exactly the same. I usually know my body really well, so having it do strange things (like putting on weight when I was eating normally, for example) was very unsettling. It felt so good getting back to normal afterwards. That's the upside of a BFN I guess, if you an have such a thing.

You are doing very well not to test. And it sounds like you have a great plan for Wednesday.

Sorry about the painful period, gin.

Rabbit sff - what's that again? It has been so long I think I have forgotten. We are usually so knackered by the end of sh@g week, that that is it for the month! Hopefully that won't be the case this month. The one good thing about my weird early period last cycle is that I now expect to ovulate near the beginning of my holiday rather than near the end of it. So we can have a day or two of swi and then give some sff a go!

"Roasted miner" gave me a giggle.

I am another one who gets a bit SAD in winter. I am hoping a dose of winter sun will help this year. I have never been on holiday in December before.

mrsd the bullets I have could go in the front or back door. I have heard of back door being advised for the first few days to avoid irritating the bits already irritated by EC and ET, but plenty of people seem to use the front door without issues. Btw, a tip that I picked up somewhere along the way, is to insert them just before bed. Then the hormone is absorbed overnight and if you are a morning "evacuater" most of the gunk is pushed out then when you engage your pelvic floor muscles, so you don't get too much coming out during the day.

The day 2 is because they won't risk them not surviving longer, due to the likelihood of having so few eggs. Unless a miracle happens.

Don't worry about being a druggy. I'm getting used to sticking needles in me, and am sporting a very impressive bruise in my arm. It's hot in my office today so have taken my jacket off and am trying to hide it.

Just quick. I have 2 up to size and one nearly there. Still don't know if its going to be Wed or Thursday. ET will be day 2 though.

Could you have been a little more vigorous than usual joy? Maybe the cervix was knocked, it's probably just one of those things and nothing to be worried about. If there was no pain then I wouldn't be worried.

buzzy I'm so sorry you have a migraine. I can totally sympathise after having one last week. Thank you for the kind offer of meds, I'm going to be i. The uk soon so I might see what boots can offer me. Do you have any recommendations? Ibuprofen doesn't do anything. I need something for the head pain and for the nausea. I felt so travel sick. I hope the meds do their thing for you, and you're back to normal soon.

They love suppositories here, all kids meds seem to be administered that way so I fully expect that's what I'll be given. I will ask though. Tbh I don't like the thought of fanjo either, I could never even get on with tampons. Geez, I'm such a baby.

Gin ? so sorry about AF and it being mega painful. I was thinking of you over the weekend. This is so hard but you are right , you are getting closer. And there is the FET to think about. I hope MRgin is ok.

Art ? it feels like an age ago that i met you and you were down regging then. This process must feel like a life time. I?m sorry about how emotionally fragile you have been feeling. It?s a huge thing to go through. Af pains can be implantation pains but then i don?t want to fuel mentalling. This must be torturous. Also when i was on progesterone (400mg), my period would still come about 12/13dpo. I found it only artificially held it up for a bit longer. All i can hope is that Wed comes round quickly so you know one way or another. I feel so nervous for all you ladies , i?m going to be a mess when i?m actually doing it.

Mrsd ? i honestly rate myself as pretty pathetic. I make a meal out of doing anything whether it?s self injecting, putting in contact lenses for the first time or swallowing pills. For goodness sake i was scared of tampax and didn?t get around to that until my mid 20s . And of course, the bottom bullets saw me sitting in the bathroom for an hour plucking up the courage to do it. These were for lovely haemorrhoids and i could never have known this was going to be excellent training for when i was on the progesterone bullets. And just like the injecting, it became surprisingly easy. Once the first one is done and you know what it feels like, you will be fine. Again, the general anaesthetic scared the life out of me. I was so stressed out for months before hand, not sleeping properly but it was surprisingly not that bad. I honestly believe if I can do it, anyone can do it. But I totally understand, the whole thing of iVF scares me sh88less. I just don?t want to do it. the downregging , the drugs and the waiting but I think we just have to go in and take it once step at a time and deal with things as they come. And we will deal with it.

Nelly ? very best of luck today.

Lemon ? hurrah and welcome back and that?s great you will be back on to the IUI soon. You know it works for you so hopefully it will work quickly again.

Buzzy ? in awe of your self iui at home.

Rabbit ? really interesting that your vitd spray is making you feel better. The antibiotics did make us feel sick a bit but it passed quite quickly. The last day was the worst, i nearly threw up on my way to work. Love the fact that you have been having sff. I really can?t remember what this is like. Sex has become such a chore and such a reminder that for some reason it just doesn?t work for us.

Madness ? an extra week at xmas sounds bliss even if it is because of surgery so not bad thinking that!

Euro ? i have been gluten free for the last few weeks , well apart from the odd slip up. But it wasn?t me who posted about it. I think it was pout or cosmo as i think they are gluten free now too. Really interesting that this is one of the things you changed this month. Also, i think Greece hidden C test turns up positive in 37% of people. I personally think the bacterial loads and mycroplasma/bv and ureaplasma are much more interesting though as they really are known to cause fertility issues. We didn?t drink at all. I don?t think you?re suppose to but i may be wrong. You?re on the doxycycline for most of the time . I don?t know whether they lose their effectiveness if you drink but i?m sure a few celebratory glasses won?t go amiss.

So i started bleeding after sex on Saturday. I have never had this before. There was quite a lot of bright red, pink blood but i wasn?t in pain. I hadn?t even ovulated so i don?t understand what that is about. I had a wedding to go to and it just depressed me for the whole day because i was worrying about it. I hope this isn?t a new trend. You think you clear up one thing and another thing starts and worries you. All i can think is that it is related to my hysetoscopy but that was 5 weeks ago. Anyone have any ideas?