TTC 10+ months, Part 11

Cosmos - hope it helps too. I have been thinking of doing similar at some point. It is very hard indeed. Will always think of you. xxx

Rabbit - was an annoucement made? Ooo horrible stabby feeling. So sorry. It will pass but right now I will give you big hugs and pass you some chocolate magnum ice cream. xx

oh rabbit - i'm sorry about an a* imminent announcement.

Teu - i forgot to say welcome back to the thread.

buzz - i can't believe how long these headaches have gone on for. tension makes sense though. I hope they subside now.

Gin - i did grin a bit at your post as i was thinking the exact the same thing about royal baby

Sar - . I have no idea what's wrong with my cycle but i am now leaving it up to science to help me rather than nature. Weddings really bother me too. If I'm brutally honest , I haven't truly enjoyed any of the last 20 i have been too. There is just a deep sadness there and a reminder of the situation. When is this wedding? and have you got a date fixed yet? That does sound like a plan with letting Mrsar initiate dtd. It's certainly less pressure. You have had a really rough time lately, and I hope things get brighter for you soon.

Madness - so sorry about AF> I totally understand that ability to keep thinking that a miracle will happen even as a complete pessimist. When is your op?

Cosmos - oh i am sorry, it's complete shit and i hope you feel better soon.

mrsmellow - lovely news and so pleased to hear everything is going well.

big waves.

Hi ladies , just a quick post to say I'm going to try to do a self imposed MN ban for a while - just to try and stop myself from thinking about it quite so much. This will be my 6th Xmas while ttc, and though I was doing really well things have got a bit much again. Am going to try to avoid any news / Internet and see if it helps. Not sure how long I'll last. Best wishes to you all.

Evening everyone,

Apologising now for not name checking. I've been reading but have fallen so hopelessly behind that I won't be able to remember anything that I should be saying......

Have had a bit of a hibernating weekend. Af arrived Saturday - just after poor old MrM arrived back from his business trip so have been in a bit of a funk. Wasn't really expecting anything else but this was last cycle before the tube goes so I had a little bit of hope that maybe we could escape the trauma that is yet to come. For someone who is normally quite a pessimist I have a remarkable ability to keep hoping for a miracle against all evidence .

Saw royal baby announcement on a big screen breaking news banner when out shopping. Do feel sorry for her though. My cousin had hyperemesis and she really suffered - and who wants to know that for the next nine months paparazzi are going to be doing their very best to get pictures of you looking green or, heaven forbid, tossing your cookies when out in public .

Waves to everyone and I promise to stay on top of things and name check next time.

Hiya lovely ladies, can I rejoin, not that I really left, just life got in the way. I am way behind but just saw:

Mellow's fab news, congrats. Did you get a BFP while I was on hols?!?

And Rabbit's idiot from the weekend and a+ announcement coming up. :( so sorry about it all. As I am about the awful level of care doll got.

Still very pleased with kayla in your life buzzy! She seems to make a huge difference to how you feel.

How's Sergent sar today? I was thinking of you while I was far away.

Mixed messages from you pouty. The top of the waiting list is a good place to be, but househunting again is not. But stress won't really matter, so hopefully you, the dogs, MrP and babybean will all move into a new place soon

As for me, I just stabbed myself for the second superovulation IUI. It was July when I started my BFP cycle. An age away. Particularly noticable as now it is dark at stab-times and then it was light...

Imminent a+ for me today

nelly hope they are settling in nicely. Great news.
rabbit what a comment to make.
artemis How awful about the crash. But very excited about the bfp.
doll Hope you are doing ok.
critter MrTeu doesn't like the texture so I can't even candy the walnuts. Can you make marzipan with them? That might work.
Heard the royal announcement this morning while lying in bed with the cat on my stomach under the duvet Kind of glad I live out here, at least it will be a little bit filtered.
Thanks for all the tidbits of advice.
Waves to all. Time zones are so disconnecting.

The bloody royal baby is everywhere already :( Gawd, I felt like crying when I read about it. There will be no escape from the pregnancy and I?m just so bloody jealous. Not helped by that twat David Cameron saying that everyone will be celebrating tonight. We?ll here?s one bitter barren that won?t be Dave! I?m not surprised she?s been hospitalised ? she has no fat to sustain her during MS. [bitch emoticon]

sar I?m so sorry you still have a foot in the tent. Big, big hugs. We have a close family member wedding this weekend too. I am very excited and not too worried about them having babies (I think this is far off still), but am worried about the whole ?when are you having kids? queries. I hate having to lie, the nosiness and the way such questions make me feel. Luckily, there won?t be too many family members at the wedding, certainly not the great aunt who told me at my gran?s funeral to get on with it? I am intrigued by your experiment to see if you get more sex when ovulating! Let me know!

mrsd your pregdar is well tuned indeed.

pout Babies by Pulp is one of my favourite songs. Well, it was, but now it makes me a bit sad. The NHS lottery is indeed shite (I will watch the case you mentioned joy with interest), but tbh if they had given me NHS IVF, I?m pretty sure I?d have ended up with 30 crap quality eggs and severe OHSS. Although apparently you can have them move the funding to a private clinic.

I?m delighted to hear the scan went well mellow. I hope you can relax a little and begin to enjoy it now. I may have to google the Delia recipe, yummmm.

buzzy, I would be out of my mind with a 9 day migraine. How awful. But your symptoms do sound interesting?

rabbit I can?t believe that person said that to you. FFS. Like this isn?t all hard enough already. What did you say to them?? Your bleeding sounds interesting too (only on MN could I write such a thing!), although I don?t want to fuel mentalling.

joy I?m sorry to hear about the short cycle. Didn?t rabbit have some short ones after ther op?? Maybe it?s everything getting back to normal? About twice a year I have a really short cycle, so maybe it?s just a one off. I am certain it?s not early menopause and your monitoring cycle will hopefully put your mind at rest about this. I think it?ll be really interesting to find out exactly what?s going on. This is how I?m going to treat the FET, so it won?t feel like such a waste if the frostie doesn?t defrost.

critter well done for subjecting the Americans to some good Brit Pop! I love Christmas too. More the build up and Christmassy things, than the actual day, which I agree with pout can be a bit crap without kids.

doll I?m most envious of your sunshine. Hope you are ok. If it's any comfort, my clinic haven't rang with a follow up appointment time, although a nurse did ring me back on the bfn day to check I was ok.

Urgh, stop announcing the bloody royal baby tv. Although I do feel a bit better about it, having ranted to you guys

Rabbit - did you have watery pink bleeding 1 week post ov with the cp couple of months a go?

Bloody hell - the royal baby is on the way. Although I am pleased for them and glad they don't have to live out TTC in the spot light. DH said we would definatly beat them to it.

Great to have them back on board Nelly!!! What a journey you have been on.

Doll - I am cross on your behalf at the standard of care you have had - not good enough. You are such a specialy lady.

Critter - all sounds good. Go catch that eggy.

Gin - its wonderful to hear that you are managing ok and are fairly upbeat. Sorry for the painful ovaries - ouch. I guess they have been through the wringer.

Rabbit -as I said earlier, I want to head butt the prat that said that to you. . Their thoughts are illogical and deeply offensive. As others have said, I take it this person won't be seeking medical attention the next time they are ill or have an accident. After all, they wouldn't want to alter the natural course of what is happening in thier body would they. Also, do they think that babies born with the help of assisted conception weren't meant to be - funny that because clearly they were meant to be because they arrived. I know you know that they are talking utter crapola but sometimes when you are trying your best to feel better, be more positive, forget about ttc then this seems to be the time when something will come along and give you an awful and unhelpful slap in the face. I am very sorry Rabbit - can you avoid said person? To be honest that type of crap is part of the reason why I don't feel I am able to fully bring myself out of the tent at the moment. For so long I have dusted myself off and tried to be positive but there has always been something each and every time to take the wind out of my sails. I know that's life and all that but sometimes there just seems to be one blow too many and I think in a weird sort of way it can feel easier to feel bad so that no one can add to the hurst ifyswim. But Rabbit - tight tight hugs. Thank you for telling me how badly wrong they wrote your report - yes this does help. It helps me to have confidence that I am not going mad when I read things which don't seem to make sense.

Joycep - oh honey, I am sorry for the early AF. Have you ever had one this early before? Is it definatly definatly AF? I don't understand how your LP could have jumped so short so quickly, hmmm. Will have a think. I do feel for you, I really do. Thanks for asking after me. I have been feeling a little better these last few days but prior to that I had a spell of about 6 weeks of sadness. I know it comes with the territory. I think I am more cautious than I have ever been before about getting hurt but I am not as teary as I was so I'm sure I will be ok. One person gave me a reply to my HSG thread but that's it. She was lovely. She was diagnosed with hydrosalpinx on HSG which turned out to be a cyst at lap so she was saying there is hope that it could be something else. But overall the lack of response is what I expected and backs up the fact that this is quite a rare condition to have especially with out other problems / symptoms. But I am going to try and ask a health professional friend too at work to have a look - that was Buzz's suggestion - thanks Buzz.

Buzz - you poor thing, a 9 day headache sounds awful. But I am very curious about those symptoms - fingers crossed for the big finger.

Mellow - what brilliant news. I am thrilled for you. I say go to the antenatal boards sweetheart, you will have a lovely time. But do pop here as often as you can.

Well, I am trying to ease myself out of the tent. If I am 100% brutally honest, I know what is bugging me. And the nature of what is bugging me makes me feel like a baaaaaaad person which makes me feel guilty. The close female relative wedding is coming very very soon which in itself is brilliant. But guess what I am panicking over??? It's not that them having a baby itself is a problem. But it's that 100 watt highlighted feeling of what I don't have that will be hard. I know I am jumping the gun but I'm sure you girls understand where I am coming from. I don't want anyone else to feel this pain. But equally I am tired of this pain. Anyhow, recently my reflex lady suggested we stop ttc for a couple of months until after the lap. This is easier to say then do but I do think she had a point. So this month I decided I would only bd whenever DH initiated (assuming I wanted too) rather than during shag week with me initiaing. It has been more fun as a result which is great and interestingly one of the times we dtd (yesterday) appears to be about 2 days prior to ovulation. But I have to be careful as this is not the objective. It's interesting as they do say men will find women more attractivce around this time . Anyway, hopefully I won't be hankering for a BFP this month as I won't have worked towards in the way I normally do.

Hello to all. xxxx

My pregdar is working well! It was the weird clothes and puffy face that gave it away. I wonder how many weeks she is. They must be fairly confident all is ok if they've announced it. I'd love to say I'm happy for them but I'm a bitter barren and I must be in a small minority who would rather here nothing omit.

Urgh!!! We knew this moment would come ladies but I see she's not even 12 weeks so fingers crossed everything is ok.

Kate Middleton - mrsden you clearly have the 'sense'!

Rabbit sorry about that ridiculous comment. It is such an ill informed thing to say to someone, let alone totally tactless. My step-grandmother said something similar to me a year ago about "how some things aren't mean't to be". That felt like a body blow so I totally understand why it would make you feel so deflated. For me comments like that make me think that the universe is judging me and has decided that I don't deserve kids. People ought to think more before they open their gobs about such sensitive stuff.

doll I am so sorry that you haven't had the level of care that you deserve. You sound so together despite this. It puts me to shame when I meltdown over such stupid stuff!

BTW you did make me laugh about the buying HPTs from different shops and the cashiers highfiving Cashiers so do give you a knowing look when you buy preggo tests..I hate it.

nelly wowsers on the Highland 2. I too have wondered how it must feel mentally to have embies on board. Am willing them to make themselves comfy.

Buzzy boo to lingering migraine. I too have had ridiculously long episodes usually right before and during my period. Apparently the triptans as well as killing a migraine can cause a new attack. You probably know that but I wonder if laying off the meds might help shift it. Also I find, oddly, that doing a steam inhalation of Albas oil & boiling water over a bowl helps me.

gin It isn't fair that you are subject to this NHS lottery. I am sorry about that. I know what you mean about the wait being short. We were told 6-8 months but this is a month sooner. Amazing even though it's caught me off guard a bit!
I'm sorry that you are having sore ovaries. Mine haven't been the same since the Clomid and feel pingy and pokey much of the time. It worries me a bit actually about what effect all these drugs actually have.

critter I used to love Pulp. Ironically Babies is my fave Pulp song! Happy university days are always bought to mind.

joycep I can't believe that you have Thrush again. I was thinking about this...not something you ever thought you would read I know!...and I wondered whether your infection ever truly goes IYSWIM. Maybe the symptoms ease off and you think the infection has gone but it lays dormant only to flare up again?

It is so nice that most of you ladies are preparing for Christmas. I spent the weekend making some decorations to hawk on ebay. That said we're not putting our tree up this year. I am being a miserable cow but just feel that Xmas is for young children. Actually, having driven round and round the Morrisons carpark trying to find a space while all the Xmas shoppers were out in force, MrP and I agreed that once my nephew is 18, which won't be long now only a couple of years, we will opt out of Christmas all together. Where is that Grinch smiley

mellow so great to have you pop back and how lovely to see the heartbeat.

rabbit stupid person and as doll put it eloquently, absolute shit - nature sadly doesn't always do the right thing.

doll I'm so sorry, it is shit, both the outcome and the way they managed you. Assholes. Has AF come yet?

nelly well done on two embies, fingers crossed for left and right!

joy sorry about 23 days...it is crap, but well done on finding the silver lining of not scans over Christmas.

buzzy long time for a migraine. I'm still poking my boobs, it doesn't go away fingers crossed for positive outcomes...

art hope you had a lovely celebratory weekend!

hi to everyone else, I've missed loads, sorry.

whoever asked, sticky toffee pudding is quite easy to make - there is a great recipe for a delia ginger one from waitrose if you google it!

We had a viability scan on Friday and saw a heart beat which was pretty special. I was 7+2 - so have 5 weeks to wait for next scan - seems like an age. I think I need to brave up and graduate to the antenatal boards, but worry I might jinx myself (its ridiculous, as if anything I write on the internet could have any influence ) I will continue to lurk and send positive vibes to you all, thanks again for your support over the last few months and here's to 2013 being a great year.

Sergent sarlat is back in the building. Seriously want 2 head butt the prat that spoke 2 rabbit like that. How very very dare they. Sorry 4 early bleeds and confusing bodies. Wil b back later, have 2 see patients now. Tail shakes, feather plumping and big hugs 2 all!

Rabbit ? where do people get off? It would take the wind out of anyone?s sails. How very dare they. I don?t understand why people think it is acceptable to make such a comment. It?s one thing to really think that but actually to say it. It reminds me of all those people who come out to say ?it?s not your god given right to have children? when there is a debate about ivf funding on the nhs. It?s terribly easy to think that and to say these things when it hasn?t directly affected someone. But I wonder whether they tell people with cancer that ?it?s just nature?s way?...oh i am sorry. Also , is the pink watery stuff the same you got with your bfp month? goodness, I hope it means something but I understand the best thing to do is think that it doesn?t mean anything. self protection. I?m now going to fluff your feathers

Nelly ? great news that 2 beans on board. Hoping they are settling in right now.

Doll ? the care you have received sounds shocking. I hope your meeting today with the doc is helpful and he gives you some guidance on perhaps doing a second round. I hope you are ok, it?s so bloody hard.

Gin ? i?m glad you managed to let your hair down. Your ovaries have had a bit of a battering so i?m not surprised the are tender. It sounds like you have got a good plan though for next year which does help. Does egg sharing make ivf a lot cheaper? Also i saw in the news that a woman is suing some pct for age discrimination for not allowing her to have funding for an ivf round on the nhs. She is only 37 but their rules are 30-34yr olds only. It will be interesting to see if she wins. I am not sure whether there is a legal leg to stand on in your borough with them not funding anyone. .. not that i?m suggesting you should sue of course but I wonder whether this legal case will open up a floodgate of cases. Every pct is suppose to fund 3 rounds.

Critter ? i absolutely love December and xmas too. We got our tree up yesterday. I?m a sucker for all the xmas songs as well. But I find i can get quite sad now too as it?s such a milestone and a reminder . Can?t believe the length of your cycles. It would be amazing if you have ovulated and caught the egg. I really hope you have Critter!

Sar ? i?m glad you got your hsg report. Has anyone given you any good advice on the other thread? Are you feeling any better? It has been a really hard few weeks/months for you.

After a 28day cycle last month, I had the audacity to think op and antibs may have sorted something out. Stupid woman. AF arrived full flow today at CD23. WTF?? That?s an 8 day lp. I just want to cry when this happens because of course i start fearing the big M. It explains why I got thrush as the ph imbalance before AF sets it off> Well i feel well and truly beaten by my body. I now start monitoring cycle and getting my immunes tested and will find out whether my hormone levels are ok to do ivf. The silver lining for being so early is i won?t have to come up to London over xmas for a scan.

Sorry if i have missed people. Big wave.

Rabbit I'm here too, just groggily waking up and was worrying about you. A huge tail feather blow dry with special round brush and shine serum. The Kate Middleton of tail feather styles. Don't let that plonker have the satisfaction of affecting your mood. It's a ridiculously inane and cruel thing of them to say and what's more as doll says, completely removed from reality. Big hug sweetpea.

We haven't left you rabbit I'm running into a meeting now and will be back to check in later. Consider your feathers fluffed. X