Other than to my DP, I don't feel like I can mention this to anyone in RL. I had my mirena coil removed in March this year and have been ttc ever since. My cycle quickly returned to normal and I started baby day-dreaming. Now I've passed the 6 month mark of ttc, niggling worries have begun.
Rationally I know that 6 months isn't too long in the scheme of things. MY GP gave me lots of warnings that I COULD get pregnant straight after the removal of my coil. However, I now know that is it more likely that my body will take a few cycles to settle. This is even more likely as I've had a coil continuously for 12 years (new coil on the same day as removal, every 5 years, until the last one). This means in reality out of the 6 months ttc, only 3 may count. So why do I feel so scared???
I guess my age is a factor I'm 32 ½ and if we are unlucky enough to need help, in our area the cut off for NHS IVF is 34..........that is scarily close. We are lucky enough to have some savings but nothing near the cost of private IVF. It feels like a very flimsy safety net, if nature doesn't work on its own.
My life seems to be filled with pregnancy and babies at the moment which isn't helping. I'm grateful that as yet the emotional rollercoaster of ttc has not yet turned me into a green-eyed monster (though in a few more months I can see myself going that way). However, every new baby cuddle reminds me how much I want a baby of my own. It's a desperate primal want from deep inside and it's overwhelming. I feel inadequate as I haven't succeeded in getting pregnant quickly and easily...Rationally I know this is stupid, but I feel it none the less.
My biggest mistake was answering 'when are you planning to have a baby' honestly after the millionth time we were asked. Naively I thought if things did take a longer it would help to be supported my close friends and family (telling my mother was like taking an ad out in the paper, so easy to be wise after the event). It turns out being told 'it's cos you want it too much', 'just relax', 'eat x' don't eat y' and lots of other "helpful" advice makes me feel worse.
I do realise that 6 months is no time at all and that many people go through millions times more heart ache ttc, than I am. I know than my first ever mumsnet post is a massive pity party. I just need to get some of the panic and desperation inside me, out. Any tips on how not to dwell on this gratefully received.