Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

Diege ,I'm glad you're not disappearing, even if you're putting ttc on hold. That cough/high temp bug has been going around here too but I don't envy you having chicken pox in the mix as well, hope you've plenty of calamine lotion in the fridge!
Gum I'm impressed by your exercise regime, it must be lovely living by the beach. You sound pretty organized for Christmas, I still have presents to wrap and was going to do it now that everyone else has gone to bed but thought I'd just check Mumsnet first and here I am typing away!
Mamaslatts I must admit to owning one of those overpriced gadgets!
After my first miscarriage in March I was debating whether to try again. I came across the Duofertility monitor and phoned the team to discuss whether it would be suitable for me.I was advised it would be worthwhile doing an AMH test to check my ovarian reserve,as the NHS don't offer it I ordered the kit online and the nurse at my GP surgery took the sample for me to send off. The result came back as low but good for someone of my age and on that basis I was offered a money back guarantee with the monitor, if I hadn't become pregnant in the first 12 months I would be entitled to a full refund. As it seemed I'd nothing to lose I bought one but as I went on to have two further miscarriages the guarantee is now void, getting pregnant unfortunately doesn't always equate to having a baby.
However I would say the monitor is easy to use, you don't have to worry about taking your temp at any particular time as it's constantly taking temps so it's very accurate. You are paying for access to the team of fertility experts as well, you can email with questions or phone and book a slot to discuss things. They send a report after about four cycles which you can use to bring to your doctor, I got my first overview recently and because my temp has been on the low side during my luteal phase they suggested I get my progesterone levels checked which my GP has now agreed to do. They will email advice at intervals too.
If you are considering buying one I'd check if you would get a money back guarantee buying it through Boots, you might be better buying directly from the company.

Bit of everything for me please! (holds out MASSIVE plate) we have to keep our strengths up.

thanks for the info on the thermometer.I saw boots do some fancy pantsy gadget that is some kind of patch that does everything for you. Unfortunately its £500 - anyone used it? I find the OPK a bit of a pain as you can't do it first thing. i've set an alarm on my phone for the evening but sometimes forget and pee when i shouldn't.

As for the cm/sperm debate, i'd also been mulling that one over (as you do) I think i read somewhere that after a shortish while the semen goes very watery so if its watery more likely to be sperm.

Thanks Gum Don't worry, I won't be a stranger. I'll still be cheering everyone on from the sidelines and offering bits of info' and lots of support when I can. I have an interview for that job I mentioned months ago in early Jan, so have that to focus on, and also need to get some of my fitness back. Walking 4 miles a day doesn't really compensate for the chocolate and biscuits I consume on a daily basis
I am very of your fitness regime - how wonderful to be able to swim in the sea after a run on the beach, and great that you are so motivated. Christmas here will be me, dh and the dcs, dh's mother, and his sister and niece. My parents are over boxing day. Dh trying to do the food shop just now (depsite my nagging to get it done days ago) and has just rung to say waiting time in the queues is currently 1h . Not a great time to have a house full of sick children, but hey we've been there before
So Gum is it a BBQ on the beach for you, or is that one of those myths about Aussies that no-one ever practices (like corks on hats I imagine )
LOve to all, xxx

Oh Deige, I will really miss having you around alot, but I do understand if you feel it isn't time for another baby. You do have your hands full, and you will know if/when the time is right. I hope the agnus castus will help sort out your LP. please don't be a stranger.

I'll have the three course meal - and I'll have Chrissie pud for desert.It's a firm favourite of mine, but I can no longer eat it (gluten and fruit just don't agree with my tummy), so having it in the "virtual" world will be perfect.

What are you doing for your real Christmas.Is it a big family affair?

I'm feeling quite relaxed now that I have wrapped the gifts, the tree is up and beautiful, shopping finished and a simple Christmas lunch planned.

I've done two days of the couch to 5k and feel very pleased with myself for having done it without too much drama.I actually ran the bits where you are supposed to.I'm excited to think that I might actually run for 30 minutes straight by the end of the program in 9 weeks. The beach was perfect this morning,smooth and glassy,and not too cold, so I swam after the run. I felt so happy and content - must have been the endorphins. When I feel like that,I don't feel so bad about not having another baby, and may even end my ttc journey with out having a baby. But who knows how I'll feel in a couple of weeks???

Time for me to sit down in front of the telly.It is part 3 of "the pillars of the earth" with the gorgeous (I'd have his baby) Rufus Sewell. There is something very,very earthy and sexy about him. Yummy....

Yes, the Christmas snug party is upon us. I have taken the liberty of designing a set menu, so it's smoked salmon starter, turkey 'The Works' dinner, followed by xmas pudd or raspberry trifle. Champagne or bucks fizz (or fizzy water) for drinks. Or the alternative main, nut roast done well, very moist, and smothered in gravy. Crackers contain fertility goodies - thermometers, folic acid, teeny baby socks, vitamins.

Sorry for absence - chicken pox city here (x2) plus those that don't have that have temps and hacking coughs...me and dh ok touch woood at present. I have been having a good think about ttc-ing and while I would be overjoyed to have dc6 I am thinking that it might not be the best route for me. It has been good for me to dip my toe in again, but on balance I think I'm done - having another baby (the negs) have been weighing on my mind a lot (more than the good), and while I might change my mind later, I think for now it;s time to hang up my ttc boots. My body also seems to be 'done' - 8 day Lp last month, and temp drop today (9dpo). I may try agnust castus next month (just because I don't fancy af every 3 weeks). I just feel so so lucky to have the lovely family that I have.
So I will still be lurking, and popping in from time to time of course. I really hope 2013 is lucky for everyone - I really feel for you Jbrd - I have also been there 3 times and I know what a horribly disapppointing and heart wrenching time of it you will be having xxx
So get your bistro orders in guys!

Nah, my acupuncturist is actually quite cheap compared to most, you'd be lucky to get a return ticket from Oz I think. BTW who is stripeybear ??? Are you Tankgirl ?

Welcome Patches, I hope your stay isn't too long, but it's a good thread to be on. I am not sure what a lletz is, but I also had treatment for CIN3 - a cone biopsy and laser treatment. I have since had three babies. I got pregnant with my DD very soon after having the laser treatment. I am not sure sure, but it might have been two or three months.

greenlizard, it is hard to tell(about semen vs ewcm), but as Irish said, EWCM is more likely to be stretchy.

Well, Christmas preparations are underway. My DH got us a nice big tree yesterday (I know, very late ), so the girls and Charlie will decorate it today. I think that will give us a more festive spirit. I am doing a ham for Christmas lunch, so will haul that out of the freezer today.

Deige, is the bistro open for a HUGE feast???

Jollster that is amazing news - I'm so pleased for you - definitely a case of hope over experience... just shows you should never give up xx

Diege What do you mean your'e TTC again - it's you and these blinking odd/even numbers thingy, isn't it?

Gum - I reckon if we put all the money you've ever spent on acupuncture in one pot, we can throw a mahoosive party in Singapore, and pay for all the original snug dwellers to go... but I'm glad it made you feel better. xx

Thank you all for the words of sympathy.
Good advice on the Christmas dinner Morien ,I think making a list of timings is definitely the way to go !
Isabeller you must be excited now your ivf is coming up so soon, I hope it all goes well for you.
Welcome patches ,sorry to hear about your cervical cancer but I'm glad your treatment was successful. I'm also 44 with DC of a similar age, 19,13 and 9, also on d11po and due to test on the 25th, though my temp is dropping a bit and timing of dtd was a bit rubbish this month so I'm not optimistic.
You can get very cheap hpt strips on the internet,they may be worth investing in so you can poas without feeling guilty , however hopefully you wont need them if you get your Christmas BFP!
greenlizard I'm not an expert on cm but is telling the difference something to do with the elasticity, I think seminal fluid is more watery?

Just popping in to offer sympathy to Jbrd, I'm so sorry for you & your DH, but glad you are being looked after.
irish, it is hard losing a much loved pet, especially on top of everything else, wishing you much joy in 2013.
Welcome patches, good luck and may your stay here be short and successful!
Trying to post on my phone, very frustrating, but not sure when I'll next get chance.

Can I join in ladies? I'm 44, with dd1 (18), ds (15) and dd2 (8). Have finally met the love of my life, and we're ttc now (well not right now...obviously, lol). I am currently OD+11 and AF is due on 25th. This is only our second cycle of trying, and am so hoping I can give DP a BFP as a xmas pressie. I am fighting the urge to do a test before xmas day but will probably buckle...luckily boots do a 3 pack .

I had cervical cancer last year, and had to have a lletz, so am worried that that will have affected my chances of conceiving or carrying a baby.

Good luck to all of you who are ttc and well done to all the BFPs

x

Irishmammy, I cooked my first full Christmas dinner last year so I know how you feel! I did it all single-handed, and had all the timings written out, working back from the time we wanted to eat, and I stuck to it - I'd have been lost without that. (Also helped that the in-laws, being Belgian, had no particular expectations regarding turkey ). Good luck! I really hope 2013 will be a better year for you and your family. (No, you can't compare losing a dog to losing parents and babies...but it's another bit of heartache on top of everything else).

greenlizard!! Actually it's something I've been giving some thought to the last couple of months, since I read an article somewhere saying that lots of women can't tell the difference. The tone was quite scathing (these ignorant women, can't even tell their own CM from their husband's sperm, stupid things) but it didn't offer any hints. I'd never thought about it before but started to pay attention just out of curiosity - and I'm afraid I have to say that I'm with the stupid women on this. I've no idea. Anyone?

Extended family arriving and still have 2 month's worth of DIY & cleaning to do but abandoned the attempt to go Christmas shopping instead.

Irishmammy, loads of sympathy to your DD, losing a loved pet is definitely a real bereavement.

We will be starting our treatment cycle in January, have to admit I am in a mental flap about it but also .

Good to hear your story jollster and Seasonal to all

Delicate question of the day!

When you are having a lot of sex over your fertile period how can you tell what your CM is really like when the sperm/seminal fluid makes its way out of you?

irishmammy, you really have had a dreadful year. I hope 2013 brings you much happiness.

Hi, trying to catch up with everything as I'd not logged on to Mumsnet for a while.

JBrd so sorry to hear of your loss. x

Welcome to Ovenready, great name!

Jollster you were very encouraging when I first joined Mumsnet in April, good to hear your little one is now 3 mths old!

I've been busy trying to sort out Christmas now the funeral is over though I still feel very under prepared and am anxiously awaiting deliveries from Amazon in the next few days. Thank goodness for internet shopping. At the grand old age of 44 I'm cooking my first turkey this year. Previously my MIL cooked the turkey and brought it to ours while I prepared everything else, now I'm doing the lot so the pressure's on. I have to keep telling myself it's just a big chicken!

I've had blood tests for progesterone levels on d7po and d10po this week so I'll phone for results next week. I didn't ovulate till d16 this cycle.

Morien great that you could talk to your DH and sort things out. My DH is also of the mind that if it's meant to be it will happen and though we're obviously not using contraception he doesn't want to think about actively ttc or timing dtd. It can be difficult trying to swi when tiredness/illness/stress/family life seems to complicate matters. If my AF comes when it's due on Christmas Day and I then ovulate between d14-16 my DH will be away for a Sales meeting at the crucial time..all week!It's frustating because I feel every month counts at this age.

More trauma in our household this week,we sadly had to make the decision to let our elderly chocolate labrador go, we had her put to sleep today.She had been becoming increasingly frail and though still eating we were having to carry her outside to the toilet and we felt the quality of her life had declined. She was 15 and had a good life but the children are very upset, especially DD2 who has been crying and needed cuddling to go to sleep tonight. I know you can't compare losing an animal to losing babies or a parent but on top of three miscarriages and losing FIL it's just some extra heart ache for the family. 2012 has been a dreadful year, hopefully 2013 will bring some joy!

hi mamaslatts I got a cheap "babymad" BBT from Amazon - seems to be absolutely fine but to be fair only be temping for 1 cycle and my temps have been a bit all over the place (went on a longhaul trip in the middle when ovulating and my temps were a bit erratic and showed I had ovulated about a week after I had got a +OPK and then got my AF straight after that) I have assumed this was me rather than faulty BBT. It does seem to take a long time to take temperature (I am quite impatient!) and the beeps when done are quite quiet but as far as I am concerned that isn't a bad thing first thing in the morning! Think it might take a few cycles to work out your own pattern (was interesting to see that temperature dropped dramatically just before AF started though). I have been using Fertility Friend website to track it (they have iphone app so you can just log your temp straight into your phone). There are others on this thread who are experts on temping so they may have better recommendations than this bumbling novice!

I am also using CB OPK's and I think they are a good indicator of when you might be ovulating. My DP and I pretty much DTD every couple of days anyway but when I have had the smiley face we have squeezed a couple of extra sessions and I have had the smiley face every cycle so far.

jollster thank you for sharing your story, I am sorry that you have had to go through so many losses but that you now have your much yearned for son is brilliant.

hopeful I am not sure when i get my blood results as they need to be viewed by a doctor before they can give the results over the phone and Christmas is right in the middle. I am going to ring in next Thursday and they will let me know if my doc has had a look at them. I am definitely going to look into acupuncture in the new year - it sounds heavenly and great that she feels you are in good shape. Have you tried reflexology? I am not sure about that - to be hones I am not that keen on feet (mine or other peoples - the only feet that I like are cute baby feet) but am willing to give anything a go .

xx

Hi all, staggering onto the thread after a couple of glasses of prosecco tonight!

Af eventually rocked up 3 weeks and a day late -never happened before so a bit strange. Went to the Gp and had stand in doctor that looked like liberace which was fun, all tests negative so onwards and upwards. Have started using opk but only just read somewhere it doesn't mean ovulation has necessarily taken place - so what's the point of that??? Think I need to get a bbt thermometer - anyone recommend a good one?

hello just popped by to send festive greetings to the thread (big wave to Gum).

I was a regular on this thread from probably late 2009 to mid 2011. I had DS1 at 40 in May 2008 and started TTC#2 in May 2009. I had 3 MMCs around 12 weeks (Sept 09, Feb 10, Sept 10) and then 2 early losses around 5 weeks during 2011. I then stopped coming regularly onto MN (here and the recurrent MC threads) as I felt I had literally said all I could say about TTC, I was all talked out. I was desperate for a sibling for my son, but it looked as though it just wasn't going to happen.

Then one month short of my 44th birthday I got a BFP, and although cautious, this one felt different. He's now 3 months old.

So for OvenReady this may be a encouraging tale if that's your sort of thing?

Sorry JBrd, I know how hard this time is .

love to all x

notsoold...so far so good. But then I'm only just 5 weeks. Boobs are a little sore but nothing like I remember with my older children and possibly a little tired. Of course I've been panicking that my lack of symptoms are not a good sign......raaa. lol.
By the way....wrap dh's head in a bag and concentrate on his other pokey out bit. hehe.

Jbrd just seen your post I am so very very sorry, glad you have your dh and friends around you, take good care of yourself and let us know how you're getting on

hope everyone else is ok? At least we're all still here after all the hype about the end of the world - it even got me going for a few seconds!!

calibee sleepy head :) 5 days lucky girl!!! How are your feeling?? xx

hopeful your post could have been written by me (I wouldn't do so well though :)). I question myself why this nedd to ttc when my youngest is 13, going for a sleepover and I have a nice job and we could be enjoying life as adults not only "parents". After so much problems with DD throughout teen years WHY?? I do question if it is a way to holding on to my fast fading youth. But I do know that everyone has a fill. I think I shared here in the past that my parents could not have more than 3 children and risked the 4th (ME!!! :)). In their hearts , they always wanted more, and I mean more (7 or 8). When I was 18 they went to look after a orphanage and it was really good for them. I could not understand how a couple that worked so hard to raise kids would want to start again. Now in their 70s when I asked my mother why , she almost cried and said that those children (all still very close to us-even as adults) were orphans of parents, but my parents were orphans of children. She said she had this room in her heart that need more and once it was satisfied, so was she.Ps My parents sustain that although deeply religious their need was their own.
I do hope that you find peace in your heart and good luck with the red clover...xxx

morien good for you hun...xxx Great you guys can talk, even if convincing DH is not so easy.:)

kiwi this ttc lark is a stressful thing isn't?? Poor you...
green now that you really know DH is on your side it will help your ttc journey I am sure!
jbrd I am so sorry hun... take your time to heal and here is the place to share if needed.

I am house bound waiting for herbs that have not arrived yet!!!. DH has a cold right now in my window of gorgeousness and sexyness and it mean that cbfm is saying high and nothing will happen. Mind you the thought of kissing snotty DH is not a great thing, but one does what one needs too to get a baby in the end!!!
Have a good Friday all and Hi to everybody in the list. It has been a really good support for me this thread. xxxx

Kiwi we always have to keep hope. Have you spoken to your GP...they should be able to run a couple of blood tests to see just how the land lies....good luck.
hopeful acupuncture sounded lovely...sometimes a positive person like that is whats needed to blow away the doldrums.
greenlizard so glad DP has shown you his real thoughts...
morien thinds sound better for you thats good.

So Dp home now...yes its lovely, but I'm surprised at how easily I have got used to being on my own....yes its MY tv control sunshine!!!!! LOL. Anyway last night I slept sooo well. I have spent the last couple of months waking almost every couple of hours and from 5 am daily. I was shocked and a bit dazed when I was woken by my alarm this morning. Last day of work for me today and as a bonus I get to finish at 12midday instead of 5pm (we get a half day xmas shopping day as a gift from the trust)...yay. No work for 5 days

Hi everyone I posted a while back but then it was too hard so been lurking on and off. Sorry not upto date with everyone's stories. Mine is 43 one child conceived at 40 and been trying for second since then miscarriage almost two years ago and although trying every month nothing. So despondent not helped by a late period this month which raised my hopes only to dash them two days later. I haven't had any investigations and presume its just my age,not even sure why I,m posting now just not sure if it's end of the road for me but just can't stop thinking maybe next month. Just had to share thanks.

Oh jbrd, I m so sorry for your loss. There is no rhyme or reason, it feels so unfair. Let yourself grieve, stay close to your DH. When I light a little candle for Alfie and Louis, I shall light a little one for your baby too. Sending love your way.

Come here anytime and share your sadness,anger,frustration, if it helps. This thread was a huge support to me when I miscarried.

Morien, your DP sounds really lovely.I am so glad things have worked out.And I hope that the timing was perfect.

greenlizard, I love your positive approach. Your DP sounds lovely too. When will you get your blood test results?

Calibee, I know you will be loving every minute with your man home. I feel a bit of how loved up you two will be!

Acupuncture was heavenly yesterday. I really needed it. I was so tired after the sleepless night with DS (who is so much better now) and just end-of-the-school-year-itis, so having the acupuncture was just what the doctor ordered. Anyway, I asked her how my energy felt (she takes my pulse in about 6 places on my wrists to check energy) and she said it was very good considering how I was feeling (tired). I asked if she felt my levels would support a pregnancy. Her reply was, "without a doubt! I can't say you will definitely get pregnant, but if you do, I would say you will support the pregnancy with no problems at all". I was happy with that response. I guess I asked because I do worry about whether it would be too much for me. But when the baby is here you just get on with it.And you are busy and tired, but it is in the best possible way.

So it is day 5 today and I'll up my dose of red clover to 120mg, tomorrow I'll do 160mg and then the last dose will be 200mg. Lets hope it does the trick for a fabulous juicy,healthy egg!